Chapter 69

There’s nothing scary about going to an interview while drunk; it’s just like greeting the boss.

In Gu Yi’s limited stand-up comedy career, she had never been this drunk before. Her stomach was churning, but she didn’t feel like vomiting. Her head was pounding, and she couldn’t remember what she had said the night before. The only thing she remembered was drinking with Yu Dule, and it all started because of Guan Xingxin’s parents. A few people were swirling in her head, making her feel like she was on a rollercoaster, spinning a hundred times, unable to tell if she was in hell or in the human world. Thankfully, there was still a bed and pillow. Although her consciousness was in the sky, her body was safely on the ground. As long as she held the soft pillow, she knew she was safe at that moment. No dreams, because if she dreamed, she’d definitely vomit. Just sleep, and after today, tomorrow would be back to normal.

After comforting herself a few times, Gu Yi still felt terrible. She felt like she was going to die.

It was Liang Daiwen who woke her up. “Get up, it’s Monday.”

“I can’t. I need to take a sick day. I’m dying.”

“You can’t take a sick day.”

“Stop being such a workaholic. My body is in an emergency. If I go out this morning, I’m definitely going to die.”

“Yu Dule’s company called you for an interview.” Liang Daiwen dropped the bombshell.

“I’m not going.”

“Didn’t you hear me clearly? The stand-up comedy company you’ve been thinking about has extended an olive branch to you.”

“I... what?”

After lying still for fifteen seconds, Gu Yi finally turned to the HR text message, which said the interview was usually scheduled for the afternoon, but today’s morning interview was due to special circumstances and was rare, so she must not be late. Gu Yi fought the urge to postpone, resisting the temptation of staying in bed. Between her two ears, there was not a brain but simmering lava. Her mascara and eyeliner were getting blacker, and her lipstick was smeared all over. Liang Daiwen stopped her. “You can’t go out like this. Maybe we should do it another day.”

“Don’t ruin my stand-up career. I’m Gu Yi, a rising star in stand-up comedy, an outstanding comedy IP, an all-around new media copywriter. Today could be the day that changes the direction of my life. Don’t say I drank too much. Even if a knife is held to my throat, I’d let them cut me—at worst, I’ll take my head to them.”

“Fine, I get it. Since you’re so determined, go ahead.” Liang Daiwen, who had originally grabbed makeup wipes to take it all off, expressionlessly threw them on the table and gave her the chance to “keep it real.”

When Gu Yi arrived at the interview location, the only thing she had in her mouth was a breath spray. She wasn’t hungry. The HR person could smell the alcohol but didn’t seem surprised, simply saying that the big boss was supposed to conduct the interview, but since she was a stand-up comedian, and Mr. Li had business in the morning, the interview would be handled by him instead. Gu Yi’s brain worked for a while trying to figure out which boss it was, sitting in the conference room holding her resume, her head too heavy to lift, the words on the resume seeming to float. At this moment, Gu Yi tried hard to control herself and be an adult—don’t act drunk during an important interview. When she pulled out her phone and started recording, slipping it into her bag, Gu Yi felt mature; even drunk, she hadn’t forgotten the basic workplace etiquette.

Mr. Li, the boss, came in. Gu Yi couldn’t hide her excitement, but her drunk brain made her unable to move. As soon as she stood up, her stomach began to churn. The boss, who was about 1.85 meters tall with small eyes, was still talking to someone outside the door, saying, “I told you not to schedule morning business. I don’t accommodate anyone. Still, the agent pushed it, and now she’s softening towards everyone except me.”

After finishing, he tripped over the carpet. At this point, Gu Yi realized that the boss was just as drunk. The air was now filled with the scent of soy sauce, strong liquor, and a clean fragrance. The boss laughed, “You’ve been drinking too. Well, this is the drinking culture. Our company is really going to collapse.”

Once the boss sat down, the conversation began, but it was completely off-topic.

“Are you in operations?”

“Yes, I can draw. Are you looking to hire for ticketing?”

“There’s plenty of ticketing staff, we’re hiring delivery people.”

“Huh?”

The meeting room suddenly went quiet. Gu Yi blinked; it seemed like her mascara had smeared one of her eyes, and... why was this interview so different from the usual process?

“How long have you been doing open mic?”

“Two years, almost three, ever since you guys set up at Ounce, I haven’t been able to get a spot.”

“What kind of makeup is this? A ‘slightly tipsy’ look?”

“...Do we have a bad overtime culture?”

“Our company doesn’t have a drinking culture. We don’t, I’m telling you.”

A brief silence. The conversation went in circles, the four sets of eyes each focused on different things, yet neither could look at the other—no one wanted to, they just couldn’t control themselves. Someone walked by and mentioned the company’s move, whether to stay near Huaihai Road or relocate to Baoshan. The company was facing a tough decision. The drunken boss mumbled something about how Baoshan was indeed a bit bigger, but wherever you work, it’s still work. Fuxing Middle Road housing was just too expensive. Gu Yi had a splitting headache and casually said, “If we move to Baoshan, the employees won’t complain, the audience will think the company’s doomed.” The boss laughed, his eyes almost completely shut: “What’s wrong with Baoshan? Half of our actors live in Baoshan.”

“That’s because Baoshan has lower prices.” Gu Yi got practical when money was involved. “Actors can’t afford it because their pay isn’t good. If the company moves there, it just means the company is failing. A cultural company outside the city center... what’s in it for the employees? No chance to be in the city working in culture anymore.”

The boss laughed a few times, a few teeth uneven; his eyes still didn’t open. He flipped through her resume casually, like he was fanning himself: “Alright, that’s it. I’m going home to sleep—next time, don’t drink so much.”

“You too. No morning interviews next time.”

“No profit, no getting up early.”

“Yeah, life’s not easy.” Gu Yi stood up, hitting her head on the table with a loud thud. Dizzily, she caused the boss to stumble and fall. The boss bent down but didn’t catch her, and outside the office window, the two of them seemed to be making a bizarre, directionless vow. HR knocked on the door, calling the boss’s name without any formalities: “Recording time’s up, let’s go. No more kneeling, okay? Drink less next time?”

Gu Yi went home and slept like the dead, only to be woken up in the evening by a phone call. Her head was about to explode. It was Jacqueline, who had been relentlessly pressuring her for work on WeChat. Apparently, she had found her in the office contact list and was now calling directly, with an extremely urgent harassment vibe. Gu Yi answered the phone: “I’ll finish the artwork, stop hounding me.”

“You have to come to work tomorrow, and get the topic done. The WeChat editor-in-chief is taking Monday off to sleep in, is that appropriate? Still going out for interviews?”

The alcohol quickly wore off, and Gu Yi’s little brain filled with great confusion—was Jacqueline spying on her? Luckily, she had built up some immunity to Jacqueline by now, and with a practiced lie, she replied, “Sis, my friend broke up, I’m upset, got drunk and took a leave. Totally normal employee behavior, labor law protects me, alright?”

“Broken up? Who? Xu Guanrui?”

“You mean the Bodhisattva who took care of you while you were jumping card at Ounce.” Gu Yi felt a bit conflicted hearing Xu Guanrui’s name. “Xu Guanrui and I aren’t close, can we stop bringing him up?”

Jacqueline didn’t ask further, her tone turning serious: “You must come to work tomorrow.”

Is she trying to get closer to me? After hanging up, Gu Yi lay in bed, really not understanding. The company overworking employees while trying to act friendly, without increasing salaries—was there any way to make her feel frustrated too? Liang Daiwen knocked on the door holding delivery bags, gesturing like he was carrying an IV drip. Gu Yi’s head felt like someone had drilled a hole for lava to escape, and her hair was wet. Liang Daiwen, like a doctor, started rubbing her head: “How did you get a bump on your head?”

“I hit the projector in the meeting room.”

“Projectors are always on the table, right? Only someone clumsy could hit them.”

“Yep, you guessed it—I couldn’t lift my head. Big brother, my head hurts so much, why does this hangover last until evening?”

Cold and composed Liang Daiwen took a big step back when he heard “big brother”: “Did you take the wrong medicine?”

“I feel awful, can you hug me?”

“You need to get treated.”

Gu Yi scrunched her nose and made a gun gesture. Liang Daiwen knew she was in a playful mood, so he asked seriously, “How did the interview go?”

“I recorded it but haven’t had time to listen yet. Just being able to apply for leave and still make it to the interview was the limit my body could handle.”

Gu Yi pushed the recording to him. Liang Daiwen put on headphones, scrunching his face as he listened. He seemed confused, then finally looked at Gu Yi: “What? Did I curse?”

“I don’t understand your conversation. But you and the boss seem like long-lost siblings.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can still talk like this after drinking, your brain must be full of water.”

“...”

“Luckily, you didn’t strip and make a scene. You still kept some basic rationality. I wasn’t worried about anything else, just afraid you’d start acting inappropriate.”

“Do you think I’m that lewd in your mind?”

“Yeah. After all, when it comes to matters between men and women, you’re an expert at seduction.”

Gu Yi put on a confused expression: “Clarify, what happened? Who seduced you?”

“You know how much you want my body, don’t you?” Liang Daiwen blushed, looking at her.

The living room lights were on, and Gu Yi pushed Liang Daiwen onto the couch, straddling him and nibbling on his ear. He couldn’t push her off or shake her loose. Liang Daiwen, acting like a human ornament, circled the living room and bedroom, pretending to try to shake her off, but she firmly held onto him, licking his ear. Liang Daiwen sighed: “At this rate, I’ll get an ear infection.”

“Have you realized that your ears turn red when you’re shy, like some kind of sensor?”

Liang Daiwen touched his ear: “This is okay. At least I don’t feel chest pains and chills, it’s just that you saw it and it made me feel something.”

“Mm. That proves you’ve become a real person with blood and flesh.”

“Isn’t it good that I’ve become a person with blood and flesh?”

“Of course, it’s good. Otherwise, why would I like you?” Gu Yi ran her hand across his chest. “I enjoy the process of training you.”

“Pervert.”

Their bodies were close, yet sharing secrets replaced desire. The Van Gogh Gallery gradually felt like a cozy home, with her things slowly increasing. What had once been weekend visits turned into regular Monday visits, and she began habitually going upstairs, as if living in her own home. Gu Yi leaned against Liang Daiwen, feeling how this dependence had made her let her guard down, completely different from the wariness she had when they first met.

“If I get the offer, I can quit my job at ‘Weekly’. But Jacqueline promised to give me the annual bonus—two thousand bucks—two thousand!”

“If your new job pays double, that bonus is just two months’ salary. Staying there and getting exploited is meaningless. Besides, two thousand isn’t much, you can easily pass on it.”

“You’re stomping all over the dignity of a poor, independent woman like me.”

“Then find a way to increase your income and raise your dignity a bit. If a few words can trample it, your dignity must be pretty low.”

“You!” Gu Yi was angry, but had to admit Liang Daiwen’s point was valid. Liang Daiwen casually pulled out a magazine, saying nonchalantly, “Nowadays, young people just lay flat and don’t think much about income. They’re very anxious; but with a stagnant income structure, no matter what age you reach, you’ll panic. Monthly labor income will only be outrun by rising rent, and when you can’t beat the rent, the only option is to move to the suburbs or go back to your hometown. But if you save and invest a portion of your income every month, turning it into asset income, you won’t feel so panicked.”

“Cold words, cold words. To make your first bucket of gold and turn it into capital income, you need skills.”

“Of course, doing stand-up doesn’t work. Your boss can make fifty thousand from a single Weibo post, relying on their position as the editor-in-chief of ‘Weekly’. I checked out your public account recently. If you quit and let her charge by the amount for long comics, it’ll immediately become expensive.”

“That makes sense... How come I never thought of that?”

“Too simple-minded. You’re the most docile whale in the workplace. When you meet a shark, you’ll be eaten clean.”

“Can you smile when you say these things? Your serious look is almost insulting my abilities. Would the tax office come after you if you smiled?”

Before they could finish discussing the issue of abilities, the phone rang. Guan Xingxin’s voice was on the verge of tears: “Little rabbit, I had an argument with Yu Dule, and now I have nowhere to go... He came to my house to find me, and my parents were there. He found out about my parents’ situation, and now he thinks I’m not being honest with him...”

“Where are you?”

“My parents are at my house. I can’t go home, and I have nowhere else to go.”

“Come to my place. I’ll go to Liang Daiwen’s place.”

“My mom knows about you... If I stay at your place, she’ll come and destroy your home. I can’t cause you that trouble, my mom’s too extreme. If I stay at a hotel, they can probably track me down. I’m sorry, I... I’m so useless.”

Gu Yi frowned and thought for a few seconds: “I know a place. Where are you? You don’t know it, but we can’t worry about that right now.”

After registering fake names and adding phone numbers with the security guard, Gu Yi and Guan Xingxin took the elevator up. The door outside the password lock had two surveillance cameras, even more complex than the one Liang Daiwen had given her. Jacqueline opened the door right after finishing a shower, and her face was covered with a mask in a pose that surprised Gu Yi—did this workaholic also use facial masks?

No prejudices allowed—when asking for help, be nice. Jacqueline rented a three-bedroom apartment, with a study, a bedroom, and a second bedroom, very clean; except... there was a tie draped over the couch. She was straightforward: “Stay in the second bedroom. It’s limited to one week. I can’t live with someone for more than seven days.”

“Thank you.” Guan Xingxin seemed too upset to continue the conversation.

“Dealing with parents is indeed tough. I’ve been through something similar. In the end, I escaped through a window.”

“What happened afterward?”

“I never went back. I send money, but I never returned to my hometown.” Jacqueline spoke flatly. “It wasn’t a place I felt particularly attached to. But to be chased by your parents to the point where you lose your job and they still press for marriage, how bad must that be?”

Her bluntness was just as sharp as Liang Daiwen’s. Guan Xingxin clutched her fingers: “I lost my eyesight before I turned six. My parents always treated me like their deceased daughter, while their son is more successful abroad. Their focus has always been on me.”

“Then it’s probably because you’ve taken so much from them. Losing all control is usually because of financial dependence.” Jacqueline grabbed a bottle of tequila from the liquor cabinet, poured a little into a glass, and handed it to Guan Xingxin. “Did you experience the power of money here? To protect your rights, the first thing you need to do is earn enough money to stand tall. The same goes for family, and for love too.” Realizing she might sound a bit boastful, she laughed it off: “I have an ex-boyfriend, Huang Wendai. We lived together for a while. Our first breakup happened because I didn’t have a bidet in my rented apartment and couldn’t bring myself to spend the money to change it. That’s it. Everyone has times when they want to be selfish but can’t take the step. The sooner you get out, the sooner you’re free. I won’t say more. Go shower quickly. I’ll find you disposable underwear. After tomorrow, I’m no longer responsible for your daily needs. Escaping with no dignity is fine, but I have no obligation to help you.”

Although the words weren’t pleasant, Jacqueline’s actions seemed cheerful as she walked toward the bedroom, humming a tune and forgetting the face mask she still wore. She handed Guan Xingxin a neatly folded towel, then added, “What are you waiting for? Do you want me to scrub your back too?”

Afterward, she passed Gu Yi and lightly said, “The love articles must be finished by tomorrow.” Jacqueline wasn’t entirely free from the traces of her relationship with Huang Wendai. When it came to situations like this, she still carried the same unyielding attitude.