FYM - 43

As the eighth year of Yuanzhang arrived swiftly, it unfolded just as Lady Zhou had predicted—tumultuous and unpredictable.

The death of the former Duke indeed helped the Crown Prince consolidate support and temporarily stabilize his position as heir. However, the decline of the Fang family caused a swift imbalance in the power struggle between the two factions. The Zhong family, now unchecked by the Fangs, aggressively pursued their own interests in court, eliminating rivals and tightening their grip on power. The plan to weaken the regional lords had become all but abandoned, with several key border strongholds gradually slipping out of imperial control. To make matters worse, Fang Xianting, the newly titled Marquis of Yichuan, was in mourning for three years and thus stripped of his official position. From his distant vantage point in Yichuan, he could do little to stem the chaos unfolding in Chang’an.

The Song family’s situation was equally precarious.

Forced by circumstances, the Emperor could not elevate his second son to replace the Crown Prince, nor could he further punish the Fang family, who still enjoyed widespread public sympathy. Instead, his pent-up frustration and anger were redirected toward other officials aligned with the Eastern Palace. Wei Bi, Fan Yucheng, and others had already been publicly humiliated and fined on fabricated pretexts. As the instigator of the Lishan incident, the Song family naturally couldn’t escape unscathed. Song Dan and Song Bo were frequently berated in court by the Emperor, living in constant fear that one day the capricious ruler might order their executions.

The Emperor’s health, too, was deteriorating rapidly. His indulgence in wine and women had taken its toll, leaving him increasingly frail. In desperation, he turned to half-immortal Taoist priests in remote mountains and temples, seeking elixirs of immortality. A single pill would momentarily restore his vigor and rosy complexion, only for him to collapse again days later. Whether these potions truly prolonged his life or hastened his demise remained unclear.

With the Emperor’s longevity uncertain, the faction led by the second prince intensified their struggle against the Crown Prince. Both sides sought to secure their positions before the Emperor’s inevitable passing. The political landscape became increasingly turbulent, a chaotic mess that left observers aghast.

Yet none of this turmoil reached the Qiao family in Jiangnan.

Song Shuyan, now back in Qiantang, devoted herself daily to caring for her grandmother. Though she occasionally endured biting remarks from her uncles and aunts, her life here was far easier than it had been in Chang’an. In the second month, her grandmother personally arranged a grand coming-of-age ceremony for her. Soon after, matchmakers from various households began arriving in droves, eager to secure the hand of this eldest daughter of the prestigious Song family from Jinling.

“They’re dreaming if they think they can take my precious Yingying away,” Lady Zhou grumbled, her temper flaring as she scrutinized potential suitors. “My granddaughter is one in ten thousand. Even the noblest daughters of Chang’an can’t compare to her. How could I let her fall into the hands of just anyone?”

Sun Mama chuckled at this, chiming in, “Indeed, our young miss deserves nothing less than the finest man in the world. Even marrying into the palace as an empress wouldn’t be beneath her.”

Little did they know, these words would prove prophetic within three years. But for now, Song Shuyan remained oblivious. Her grandmother sighed, saying, “I don’t expect you to achieve great wealth or status. I just want you to live a happy and content life… You’ve grown up without your parents to care for you. In the future, you’ll need a thoughtful and capable husband to love and cherish you, so our family won’t have to worry about you constantly. It’s also what I owe to your mother.”

These words felt like a farewell, and Song Shuyan found them hard to bear. Lowering her head, she refused to respond, clearly sulking. Her grandmother, well-versed in her moods, shook her head with a wry smile. After calming down over a cup of tea, she gently coaxed her granddaughter into conversation. “These past few days, I’ve been busy arranging things for you, but I don’t know what you’re thinking. Have you met anyone who catches your fancy? Even a vague description would help, so I’m not blindly searching for someone.”

At these words, Song Shuyan’s heart tightened. For some reason, Fang Xianting’s face flashed before her eyes—his deep, handsome features almost within reach, accompanied by memories of snowy nights on the Shangzhou highway and the sound of waves amidst the Jiangnan hills. Before she could gather her thoughts, Zhui’er giggled, drawing everyone’s attention. Bold as ever, she winked mischievously at Lady Zhou. “Grandma doesn’t know this, but earlier this year, Miss encountered someone truly remarkable in Chang’an…”

The room erupted in chatter. With Lady Zhou’s indulgent nature, her maids had grown adept at gossip. Upon hearing Zhui’er’s revelation, they eagerly pressed for details, curious about the identity of this mysterious suitor. Song Shuyan, overwhelmed by their teasing, blushed deeply, even her earlobes turning crimson. She refused to divulge anything then and there, but later, alone with her grandmother, she couldn’t suppress the subtle undercurrents of her heart. Unable to hold back, she confided her tangled, youthful emotions to the person closest to her.

“Grandmother…”

She hesitantly leaned against her elder’s knee, her expression tinged with unease.

Lady Zhou didn’t rush her, gently stroking her hair with a serene and loving gaze. She truly cherished her granddaughter to the core.

“Is he really such a good person?” she asked. “That maid of yours always speaks highly of you. She’s praised only your second brother from the Song family in the past… So, he must be truly exceptional.”

Song Shuyan murmured a faint response, though her words came slowly. Though he wasn’t present, the mere mention of him stirred unfamiliar yet intense feelings within her. She quietly processed this strange sensation, a mix of sweetness and bitterness swirling in her heart.

“He’s a very good person…”

Her voice was soft, each word carefully weighed, sounding almost hesitant.

“He’s good in every way—his family, too…”

Lady Zhou nodded, her tone betraying genuine interest. “Tell me more. What makes him so good?”

Song Shuyan flushed, suddenly feeling shy.

“He’s… just very good.”

She stumbled over her words, as if struggling to articulate.

“He has noble character and impeccable upbringing… He treats everyone around him kindly… And he’s extremely talented, not one of those idle nobles who rely on their family name…”

“Oh, that does sound good,” Lady Zhou said with a smile. Though she was praising him, Song Shuyan inexplicably felt a sense of pride. “And what about you? Does he like you?”

This question left her speechless.

“Like me?”

Does he like her?

Perhaps, a little.

He had saved her life in the depths of Lishan Forest, personally delivered medicine to her on a snowy night, and later treated her differently at the Song residence. He noticed the painted screen moved to the outer hall and understood the hidden meaning behind her references to “flat grasslands” and “spring mountains.”

But… it didn’t quite feel like “liking.”

He was always courteous to her, their encounters coincidental rather than intentional. He never sought her out, and when she tried to get closer, he remained aloof, keeping her at arm’s length.

Confused, she realized her grandmother had effortlessly unearthed a question she couldn’t answer. A wave of loneliness and bewilderment washed over her. Perhaps she wasn’t as wise or detached as she thought.

“I don’t know…” she admitted, choosing honesty over pretense in front of her beloved grandmother. “…It’s frustrating.”

How could it not be?

She had met the best person in the world. Two thousand li separated Chang’an and Qiantang, yet they still crossed paths on a remote, deserted mountain road. If fate truly existed, how could there be no connection between them?

But what could she do with that frustration?

Even if there was a connection, it was undoubtedly shallow. That was why she had returned everything he had given her—the painting and the box—wiping away all traces of their past. She hadn’t even kept a single memento to cherish.

Her beautiful eyes reflected a cascade of regrets, all of which her grandmother observed with clarity. The older woman smiled knowingly. “The person you speak of—is he the young master of the Fang family of Yichuan?”

This…

Song Shuyan looked up, startled, meeting her grandmother’s penetrating gaze. Of course, if her grandmother could see through the political machinations of the western capital from afar in Jiangnan, how could she be unaware of the subtle, fleeting interactions between her granddaughter and the former Duke’s heir?

“Grandmother…”

She lowered her eyes again.

Lady Zhou chuckled softly, her hand stroking Song Shuyan’s hair even more gently. Then she sighed. “Yingying, you still don’t understand… That new Marquis may have countless virtues, but he is not your destined partner.”

These words puzzled her, adding a bitter taste to her heart. Despite her usually detached nature, she found herself persistently asking, “Why?”

Am I not good enough?

Am I… unworthy of him?

“The Fang family of Yichuan has stood for over three hundred years, always known for their purity and righteousness,” Lady Zhou explained, her words clear and deliberate. “But water too pure holds no fish, and people too discerning find no followers. Though they aspire to benefit all, they leave themselves with too narrow a path.”

“The world admires the Fang family’s integrity and seeks their protection, but when the grand edifice begins to crumble, who among them can lend a hand? Take last year’s Lishan incident, for example. In the end, it was the former Duke who bore the brunt of the storm alone. Among the high officials in court, who stepped forward to share his burden?”

“That new Marquis is no different… Bearing the Fang surname, his life is dedicated to upholding the nation. Though his noble character earns admiration from the masses, for his family and himself, it ultimately leads to irreversible disaster.”

“Yingying…”

Her grandmother’s sighs fell heavily upon her ears.

“In life, most are but floating weeds and transient grass. To live in peace and stability is already a great challenge. Since you weren’t born into limitless wealth and power, you needn’t shoulder such immense burdens… Don’t sacrifice long-term caution for fleeting satisfaction. Know that self-preservation isn’t a flaw—it’s the survival strategy for ordinary, fragile beings like us.”

Song Shuyan: “….”

She fell silent, not because she disagreed with her grandmother’s words but precisely because she knew them to be true. Born into hardship, she owed her survival to her grandmother’s protection; otherwise, she might have perished under her stepmother’s cruelty within the Song household. Having witnessed the coldness of human relationships and the twists of fate for fifteen years, she understood the weight of the concept of “self-preservation.”

Is that selfishness?

Perhaps.

Focusing solely on personal gain while disregarding others’ suffering is undoubtedly selfish… But if one cannot even protect their own life, how can they claim to offer kindness to others?

When poor, one should cultivate oneself; when prosperous, one can benefit the world. The Fang family’s tragedy lies in their duty to shoulder the nation’s burdens regardless of prosperity or adversity, even at the cost of their lives, as the former Duke had done. Fragile and powerless as she was, could she truly endure such loyalty and sacrifice alongside such a family?

She closed her eyes, recalling Lady Jiang’s dazed, almost deranged state at the former Duke’s memorial hall. The roaring river echoed in her ears, and she finally silenced the questions she couldn’t bring herself to ask.