SOTBW - 102

Maximón entered a room where furniture had been covered with white cloths, unused for a long time, after confirming that Najane was deeply asleep. The room had wooden planks nailed to the windows, blocking nearly all sunlight even during the day, making it a dark room.

It was only when he entered the dim room that Maximón felt at ease and opened his right eye. He didn’t need a mirror to know—it was clear. His right eye was still strange, much like Serith’s. While his pupils had turned pale gray in moments of excitement, it was the first time that such a condition had lasted this long.

Standing motionless, Maximón suddenly realized once again that he was truly not human, and he let out a bitter laugh. He had acted fine in front of Najane, but he didn’t know how far to hide his true nature, which only made him feel frustrated and anxious. He vaguely feared that he might be Serith, but, thinking of Najane, he forced himself to keep his sanity.

He had once asked Edwin. Who had given birth to him? Where had he come from? Why had his father, without any relation, willingly accepted a newborn as an adopted son? No matter how strange Maximón’s eyes were, it was hard to believe that someone would take in a completely unknown baby simply because of that. But Edwin had been oddly silent about Maximón’s birth, never saying a word.

Since Edwin avoided the topic, Maximón stopped asking. However, after he started realizing that he wasn’t human, he had wondered—had he not been born of a human, but of Serith?

What would happen if he told Najane this? She would certainly be horrified and run away. No, that couldn’t happen. The mere thought of losing Najane unsettled him. He could never let Najane leave, no matter what happened.

But if things went wrong and Najane discovered his true nature, and ended up running away, even if it meant being hated, he would tear her tendons to stop her from leaving. If she bit her tongue, he would gag her so she couldn’t do it again. If she intended to starve herself, he would force her lips open and make her chew something delicious every day.

If she no longer looked at him with tender eyes, he would gouge out the eyes of everyone in the world, and if she no longer called his name in a sweet voice, he would cut out the tongues of all those who could speak, ensuring no one could ever talk to Najane again.

Najane had to be everything to Maximón. There was no room for competition when it came to her.

At that moment, Maximón inevitably thought of Luna again. The driving force that kept Emaydis alive as Najane. Why wasn’t it him? If he had been born in Kalonosia instead of Bastronia, and met Najane even a little earlier, could he have been her everything?

Maximón covered his glowing right eye with his palm in the darkness. He remembered briefly how Najane had been frightened by his eye when it had changed. He gritted his teeth and stabbed his fingers into his eye. For a moment, red blood flowed, then blue blood trickled down, drop by drop. The pain twisted his face horribly.

But Maximón didn’t stop, gritting his teeth as he tore out his eye. With a sickening squelch, the blue blood dripped down his arm. For a moment, he forgot to breathe due to the terrible pain, but when he looked down at the eyeball he held in his palm, it didn’t seem to matter.

This pain was nothing compared to the agony of Najane looking at him in fear.

Breathing heavily, he wiped the bloodstain on the sofa with a white cloth and left the room. Somewhere in the manor, he had prepared several bottles of holy water for Najane. Maximón quietly found the holy water and washed his eyeball with it. The moment it touched, his palm turned as black as if it had been burned, but he didn’t feel any pain, likely because of the pain from removing his eye.

Maximón, who took a deep breath, silently put the bottle of holy water down. His eye, like snow melting near fire, immediately turned into a liquid and flowed to the floor. He silently stared at the emerald-colored gem in his palm. It was undoubtedly a precious gem, the eye of Serith, found only in Serith’s Sainths.

Maximón, his eyebrows raised, stared at the brilliantly shining gem. This wasn’t Serith’s eye. Human eyes, no matter how much holy water is used, don’t melt, and nothing like this gem would come out of them. This wasn’t Serith’s eye. So this... this is...

A mad smile briefly appeared on Maximón’s face, then vanished. He grabbed the gem with an angry expression, intent on breaking it. Maximón wanted to erase all of this. If he could erase the fact that Serith’s eye came from his body, he would do anything to forget it.

He felt his humanity, which had almost been filled thanks to Najane, slipping away. When did everything go wrong? Who was it that gave birth to him? Why was he human on the outside but a monster on the inside? He recalled his childhood in Elgort and laughed bitterly, opening his palm.

“Father knows, doesn’t he? That I’m not human. Who was the woman who gave birth to me? Was she not human either?”

“...Maximón. It doesn’t matter what your existence is. Maybe the reason you have two hearts is so that one can be given to someone else someday. I don’t know if this will comfort you, but you mustn’t keep pushing yourself to the edge any longer. Just because you bleed red doesn’t mean you’re human. A human is one who thinks for themselves, takes responsibility for their actions, and knows the meaning of love and sacrifice without following the law of the jungle. Look, my son. You try to think rightly, you don’t harm the weak, you understand a father’s love, and you make sacrifices for your weak brother. You weren’t born human, but you will die as one. Please, don’t make your loving father sad.”

Maximón, recalling Edwin’s words, chuckled softly. He looked at the gem stained with blue blood and then threw it forcefully into the fireplace. The sound of it shattering inside the fireplace echoed.

Far away, his father who worried about Lucas every night. You are wrong. I could not think rightly, so I became a hero of Noctis, looking down on the weak humans, wanting to protect the fortress.

I stand at the top of weak humans, never understanding the meaning of love, and I will use Najane for my loneliness and emptiness. Oh, did you say I gave up on Lucas? That was just me deceiving Lucas and ignoring your deep love for your real son.

Father, being human means nothing. In fact, humans are inferior to me. There is no value in shedding red blood, their bodies are weak, and if they were struck by a Serith’s tail, their bones would shatter.

Yet, I keep standing on the edge, wanting to become what they call “human.” Why was I born this way? What keeps making me a monster? I could just accept this body, but why do I resist my fate?

Father, even when I was by your side, I felt lonely and fearful. I was always dissatisfied and anxious about having to share your love with someone like Lucas. But now, I have Najane by my side. When I’m with Najane, I feel like I’ve finally become the true Maximón, and my heart is at ease. I think... I think I may... I may...

Lowering his gaze, Maximón dropped the piece of cloth stained with blue blood into the fireplace. The soiled cloth quickly turned to ash. Staring at the flickering flames, Maximón fiddled with his right eye. Before long, the pupil had regenerated. He glanced at the mirror and saw that both of his eyes were dark green.

He had planned to pretend to be blind for a while, so he could monopolize Najane... With a small click of his tongue, Maximón sat down at a wooden table, thinking about sending a letter to the head of the Noctis Bureau. The letter would request that due to an eye injury sustained in the underground prison, he would be unable to fight for a few days and that the bureau should send soldiers to the Romsoa Order as they see fit.

Without him, Noctis Fortress would have been unable to handle the incoming Serith, but the number of Serith attacking the walls had drastically decreased over the past two days. Maximón instinctively believed that for the time being, at least until the snowfall came, the Serith wouldn’t attack. This was an entirely personal belief with no solid evidence, but he was certain of it.

He thought like the Serith, not a human. The Serith didn’t strategize as they lacked intellect, but their basic formula was clear: while the Body was sweeping the field, the Flesh would hunt down defenseless humans. So it must be true. A clever and powerful Serith had likely emerged to lead the group.

The Serith would probably reduce their attacks on the walls, waiting for the knights to lower their guard. When the humans became complacent and lazy, they would strike unexpectedly. It seemed to him like the mindset of a human who had experienced war. He had always thought the Serith only evolved from the Body to the Flesh, but perhaps there was more to it than that.

Maximón checked the letter he was preparing to send to the head of the Bureau, remembering that he hadn’t rested for a while, trying to impress Najane. Before, he would occasionally leave training duties to Jacob or Belshua, or delegate paperwork, but after he started paying attention to Najane, he hadn’t been able to do that much. Since becoming the leader of the Romsoa Order, he hadn’t taken a real break, so perhaps now would be a good time to inspect the mercenaries’ training or tour the fortress with Najane.

Though he had fought at Noctis Fortress for years, he knew nothing about the city—its streets or what it sold. It might not be a bad idea to walk around, set the record straight about his reputation, and spend time with Najane.

Where should he go with Najane? A plaza, a market, maybe a clothing store, or a general goods shop? A tea house or dessert shop would have been ideal, but since the war with the Serith had intensified, all the luxurious shops had closed. The paths good for a walk had become full of refugees and filth, leaving only the black market, where they would likely search for Luna.

None of it appealed to him. In a fit of irritation, Maximón was about to crumple the letter when suddenly he heard a commotion outside. It sounded like the guards were struggling to keep someone out.

Maximón grimaced and immediately stood up. Najane was sleeping soundly in the bedroom. Whoever the visitor was, Maximón could not forgive them for waking Najane.