Chapter 67

I am special to him.

The coffee shop sign read “CLOSED” as Xu Guanyue sat at the innermost round table, conducting an interview with three young, slender men. Gu Yi couldn’t help but glance back, and their eyes met just as Xu Guanyue was looking at her. He smiled gently, with an unspoken message to wait while he was busy. The man with a buzz cut looked back at Gu Yi and, in a quiet voice, asked, “Girlfriend?”

The café owner overheard this too. Xu Guanyue took a sip of coffee and said, “What girlfriend do I have?”

Gu Yi felt a little embarrassed. The three musicians were all dressed in black, which made Xu Guanyue’s white shirt seem unusually light. The atmosphere in the corner was different from the rest of the place; it was easy to tell they were musicians. Xu Guanyue, who had done in-depth research on the band, asked deep questions during the interview—about the distribution of the album, the special meaning behind the song titles, how the production was divided, what kind of support they received from the label, how they felt about being an independent band, and which bands they’d like to collaborate with. After the interview, the group picked up the three guitars from the café and started jamming with the owner.

“Xu Laoshi’s skills are pretty good. Are we doing an interview or is this a lesson?” one of the musicians teased.

“I’m not trying to show off. I only know a few chords, and you guys are doing composition and arrangement, that’s two different things.”

“What was that you just played?”

“The Nokia ringtone for incoming calls. You guys are too young to know this, right? Back then, I had a 5610, and my favorite sound was the vibration for SMS or the ringtone for late-night calls. At that time, everyone in Japan was using Sharp and Sony Ericsson, and I was the only one with a Nokia. When I couldn’t make calls anymore, I’d just send texts. When a text came in, there was a breathing light, and I would get so excited, chatting with girls about music, performances, writing music reviews in forums. The girls I chatted with back then are all mothers now, but they were all so cool—tattoos, listening to rock music, that kind of vibe.”

Gu Yi and Guan Xingxin were quietly listening by the window. Xu Guanyue was recommending, “If you need to discuss anything, this place is perfect. The owner is really low-key, and he won’t spill anything we talk about.”

The atmosphere was extremely harmonious, and it didn’t seem to be affected by the two girls. The men in the room seemed to have no strange habit of showing off in front of women. Guan Xingxin quietly asked Gu Yi if she had talked to Xu Guanyue after dating Liang Daiwen.

Gu Yi looked at the guitar placed by the door and said, “We haven’t talked about anything. He approached me about the contract issue, but we’re still postponing it. I was supposed to go to his place to talk, and I even reached the floor of his building, but then I got a call. Liang Daiwen was at the police station, and it was from Pan Tao, that little policeman from last time—things really did get dramatic.”

“That’s a strange turn of events,” Guan Xingxin shook her head. “People always let others down and get let down in return. The more selfish ones tend to get more. Adults are always making mistakes.”

After saying that, she smiled and went outside to talk to the café owner. Gu Yi immediately understood it wasn’t just a friendly greeting but a sign of attraction. Her gestures were enticing, her eyes full of meaning, as if her smile had been specially crafted. Perhaps it was the romance that made her exude a new aura, dreamy in nature. The café owner seemed to have a slight limp, but he was talkative and didn’t fall for Guan Xingxin’s charms. He treated her like just another customer. As they talked, their conversation grew more formal. The owner spoke with the intensity of a person explaining coffee, and the listeners were deeply engaged. Young people dressed in trendy clothes passed by, becoming a beautiful backdrop, like a moving painting.

Gu Yi, using a file transfer assistant, jotted down ideas. Her turbulent experiences no longer seemed enough to create more material for her long comic. Jacqueline had told her to aim for a big hit with the topic of relationships between men and women, so she was still observing everything.

In this rare moment of solitude, she reflected on her recent life. Aside from being with Liang Daiwen, there had been issues with her contract, but a big company had extended an olive branch. She had performed increasingly well at her former company and earned recognition, even winning a small year-end award. The happiest news was when Jacqueline told her that she was unique and interesting enough to become an independent IP. The thought gave her a sense of guilt, but Gu Yi felt... this was more enjoyable than struggling in a complicated relationship with Liang Daiwen. During the six months he was away, she had suffered, trapped in a cocoon she couldn’t escape. She hadn’t realized that her transformation was happening, perhaps like a butterfly who couldn’t see the movement of its own wings while flying.

A tap on her shoulder broke her thoughts—it was Xu Guanyue. He lingered for a few seconds, his hand in his hair, greeting her with affection. The drummer, who had passed by the door, glanced at Gu Yi curiously. Xu Guanyue, seeing her again, seemed to sense a strange feeling. Some unfinished experiences and emotions remained unresolved, and she felt guilty for not having dealt with them. He said, “Sorry for inviting you here, I just happened to be interviewing.”

“Guan Xingxin’s outside chatting.”

“What happened to her?”

Gu Yi carefully observed his subtle expressions and poured herself some lemon water, pulling out a chair to sit. Her eyes lightly met his. It wasn’t the first time he had asked about Guan Xingxin, it felt like an opening remark. She continued, “Her parents called the company, making a scene. The company said her age was too much of a hassle, so they fired her.”

“It’s a shame. This virtual band could have made it to next month’s VR holographic concert at the Mercedes main venue. It’s going to be big in the country, with almost all the famous virtual idols attending. But she’s not really focused on it, doesn’t seem to have much ambition. The best role for her might be as a rich woman.”

Guan Xingxin was sitting on the railing outside the neighboring clothing store, seemingly not in a hurry to come back in. Gu Yi straightened up, “Are you okay?”

“Busy. Did you see that band earlier? The one I recommended for your event? They’ll definitely be huge after their performance. Once the program airs, it’ll be too late to get them on the show.”

“We didn’t have the foresight.” Gu Yi tensed up, accidentally swallowing the word “we.” She felt a bit awkward, and Xu Guanyue squinted and smiled, sitting down on the chair, watching her. He seemed to be waiting for her to talk about the past two months. After all, they used to have endless conversations over lunch. Gu Yi opened her mouth but couldn’t find the right words to say, feeling a wave of sadness—she wasn’t sure what she could confide in Xu Guanyue anymore. She had wanted to ask him if they needed to promote a Bypass issue, but she realized the schedule was already fixed, and there was no need for that.

“Closed” had not yet been changed to “Open,” and the store was quiet. Xu Guanrui took out his phone to respond to work and chatted with her casually. The schedule for the events he was handling was packed, and soon he had to head to Nanmengong for a small performance by a Japanese singer. Xu Guanrui asked, “I have to head out now. Do you and Guan Xingxin want to come along? Otherwise, we’ll have to meet next time.”

Originally, today was supposed to be the day to discuss business performance at a restaurant, but the contract hadn’t been terminated yet, and her evening was free. Gu Yi looked at Xu Guanrui. After canceling so many times, she couldn’t bring herself to refuse: “Okay.”

She also wanted material for a performance.

When they got into the taxi, Xu Guanrui kindly opened the door. Guan Xingxin handled the conversation for the entire journey, talking about the freedom of being a “middleman,” as if feeling nostalgic. Xu Guanrui was very familiar with the industry and thought this job was not very interesting—beautiful people should cherish the value of their appearance. When they got out of the car, Gu Yi crawled out of the door, Xu Guanrui extended his hand, and Gu Yi retracted it before reaching out again, just as Xu Guanrui put his hand down. She grabbed it proactively, gently, but without much rapport. She wore a staff badge and sat in the audience with Guan Xingxin, quietly observing the last rehearsal. The air conditioning was very strong, Xu Guanrui changed into a hoodie, put on a cap, and kept it pulled low so his eyes weren’t visible. The light repeatedly hit his eyes, scattering over his body, making him silent and serious. The sound system and lights were slightly delayed, and he communicated in Japanese, speaking softly with noticeable fatigue. The stage lighting kept changing, creating a dazzling scene. On stage, there was only a piano, and Gu Yi couldn’t help but think back to a night they went to a livehouse. Someone had said, “Take a hold of him, he’s the purest man making music.”

Guan Xingxin checked her phone and asked if they wanted to drink together later. Gu Yi stared at the stage and replied that they could invite Xu Guanrui along, as they were still friends.

“I’ll go out to make a reservation.”

Xu Guanrui said that all of this was basic, but the most beautiful part was when the audience raised their phones and lit up the whole venue, creating a sky full of stars. Sometimes, things that are not expected are the best, just like how you came to my side.

The unavoidable topic was brought up by Xu Guanrui. He said, “I won’t beat around the bush. I didn’t expect you to miss our meeting at my place that day.”

“I...”

“There’s no need to explain. I’ve already processed it. The wicked woman in Cinderella smashing the glass slipper means that both Cinderella and the prince no longer have fantasies. Are you and Liang Daiwen doing well?”

“Mm...”

“Then that’s good. There’s no need to be hesitant. We’re like comrades sticking together for warmth, eating, watching movies, comforting each other after a breakup, and sincerely wishing each other well when the other moves on. I’ve always said it like this. Once you realize this, there’s nothing left to hold onto. I also have to gradually accept that not being chosen is not my fault.”

“Don’t say that. I’m already very grateful to have you by my side. Now, anything I say just sounds like I’m handing out a ‘good person card.’ I’ve been through something similar before, more than once wondering what I did wrong, what detail led to being unchosen, as if only by turning back time and changing someone’s choice would erase this bad feeling. Later, I gradually understood that explanations are powerless, people make choices out of selfishness.”

Xu Guanrui only stared at the stage in the distance. The stage was dark for the few minutes before the audience entered, the rehearsal ended, and everyone in the venue left. The lights dimmed, and the red light reflected on the stage looked a little dirty. People seemed trapped in a dilapidated shrine, their silhouettes wrapped in subtle ambiguity. After a few minutes, Xu Guanrui finally responded, “The meaning of comrades is that my value to you completely depends on you. If you don’t accept me, then no matter how much I like you, it doesn’t matter. The lesson from Jacqueline has been enough. But don’t worry, what I said still stands—I’m willing to do anything for you because you’re special. The director is calling me, I’ll go backstage.”

Gu Yi sat alone in her seat. The venue started playing warming-up music, and some audience members came in, holding their tickets. Her contact lenses were a bit irritating, and the messages on her phone were a bit blurry. She might be farsighted, seeing things at a distance clearly but always blurring things up close, which she would ignore. But Xu Guanrui—when it came to mutual attraction between people, was it really only love? If every encounter had to be reduced to heartbeats and passion, people would certainly not be able to keep up. Are you really good at emotions? I believe your love is real, and every time you give me your best, it’s the most heart-stirring, pure, fairy-tale-like moments, but it seems like the sad ending was predicted from the start. Or perhaps you prefer the breakup itself?

“Excuse me.”

A girl appeared in front of her, and the stage lights were suddenly all on, blinding Gu Yi’s eyes.

“This seat is mine. Did my brother leave a ticket for you?” The girl with yellow hair tied in twin tails held a ticket, “Row 7, Seat 20, right? Are you my brother’s friend?”

“Your brother is...”

“Xu Guanrui.”

Everything overlapped at once—standing before her was Guan Xingxin’s former virtual idol team member, with big eyes and baby fat that hadn’t faded, wearing orange-pink lipstick and a short dress, exuding a very anime-like vibe. Gu Yi grabbed Guan Xingxin’s bag and stood up, blocking her staff badge: “I must have taken the wrong seat, sorry.”

“It’s okay. Actually, this row is all reserved for internal tickets. I’m here to find my brother. He’s busy with an event tonight but hasn’t answered my calls. I’m giving him a surprise. I thought you were his friend.”

“No.” Gu Yi stood up, moving out of the way, her voice a little shaky, “It’s impolite not to answer the phone.”

“I’m used to it,” the girl with twin tails said, “We’ve eaten and slept together for two years, I don’t mind. He’s my good brother. Oh, I recognize you, you’re the stand-up comedian from Weibo who’s been advocating for rights, right? My brother’s friend shared your post.”

“Yeah…”

“Then I’ll find a chance for you to meet him. The fate’s not shallow. Here’s a stand-up material for you. My brother is the king of living in the moment. He can treat women very well, bringing lots of gifts when he goes out, or be indifferent, can sleep without talking about love, or have a spiritual romance with no sexual desire… But there’s one soft spot—he can’t stand seeing girls cry.”

“Oh? He has that much energy?”

“He’s a master of management. If a girl calls him, he’ll definitely show up. One time, at 2 a.m., he called me to go to his place. He was drunk and in a bad mood. He said someone had stood him up. I don’t know who the woman was, I think her name was Jacqueline? I vaguely know she was someone he was crazy about... He was angry with me that day, his temper was huge, probably because of the alcohol. It was the only time he didn’t comfort me when I cried, but later he bought a lot of things and promised me he’d make up for my regret of not getting selected for SNH.”

“He treats you really well.”

“Yes, because of his promise—I’m special to him.”

Her smile was pure and innocent, but Gu Yi hurriedly said goodbye and ran out in a panic. It was difficult to go against the crowd, and she nearly tripped on the stairs. She reacted the way one normally would—yet the pain was still there, tugging at a deeper part of her heart. Xu Guanyue, who was always affectionate, had a fixed partner who appeared earlier than she did, and even had ties with Jacqueline’s relationship. She should have noticed that when Xu Guanyue had said, “As a comrade, I’m willing to do anything with you, even sleep together,” but at that time, she thought it was just a way to get closer. Her bag was knocked off by the crowd, and she retreated to a quiet corner to calm down for a moment. A lot of things came to her ears through memories, the missing pieces of the puzzle slowly fitting together.

“I can’t stand seeing girls cry.”

“If I invited you to go with me into the rainy night, would I be a scumbag?”

“People need to like many things at once, so they can appear indifferent when they’re in front of the person they like most...”

She ran out of the long line, her two bags feeling heavy, bumping into the VIP special passage fence, awkwardly apologizing as she squeezed through the crowd. It was probably because it was unexpected, the cold air from the air conditioning replacing the feeling in her heart, and the scent of decaying plants passed by—a cold, almost “sad” smell. She thought she was the one Xu Guanyue had wronged and hated, but in reality, Xu Guanyue was the one who had disguised himself better. Even though there were other girls he had to protect, he had done his best for her, even sending her to the airport to chase Liang Daiwen, planting the spirit of a knight in his bones. Even now, he was still acting as the knight guarding the rose.

Gentleness and deep affection were his disguise, and she couldn’t bring herself to hate him because of his promiscuity.

She rushed out of the venue, looking for Guo Xingxin’s figure. Under the elevated bridge in the summer night, there were many young girls. She found her clue in Guo Xingxin’s expression—Guo Xingxin, just like her, was sad but smiled as if she had seen a ghost: “It’s lively—my parents are going to the matchmaking corner at People’s Square tomorrow, and they want me to go there and be checked by all these parents—they really have various ways to drive me crazy.”