Chapter 77

No matter whether together or apart, I want to have the deepest bond with this person.

Gu Yi was kicked out, and a few people were surprised. Only Zhang Qingya had a smile that seemed too familiar, and that expression made Gu Yi uncomfortable. Guan Xingxin, feeling embarrassed, hurriedly said to Gu Yi, “I’m leaving first. We’re recording the first episode of the show tomorrow, and we’re going out to the suburbs, so I’ll leave now.”

“Aren’t you waiting for Yu Dule?”

“He’s busy.” Her hands were trembling. “I’ve realized now, once you become famous, your value goes up, and you’ll meet better men. Nothing else matters.”

After saying this, she seemed flustered, as if she had accidentally blurted something out, and hurriedly left. Huang Wenda squinted at Guan Xingxin, then after a moment, turned his attention back to Jacqueline. Jacqueline called out to Gu Yi: “Lindsey, come back with me to work overtime—the last time.”

Feeling wronged, Gu Yi glanced back at the living room, where Liang Daiwen was still seriously presenting the PowerPoint, completely ignoring her.

Back at the office, Gu Yi was immediately led into the Alaska meeting room, where they were reviewing data from the public account and the sales chart of One Week, as well as opening the black leather manual. For the past three years, the sales of the One Week paper magazine had been declining. When she joined in 2017, she worked solidly with Jacqueline on content, where every article’s theme and structure was decided by Jacqueline, and she would point out any typo and send it in the group. In 2018, the idol boom began, and Jacqueline boldly used idol stars to drive sales. The magazines sold out instantly, with fans chasing and complaining, requiring an urgent reprint and extra gifts—little perfume samples and 1ml skin lotions were filling the drawers at that time.

That same year, every brand started its own public account platform, and the operation was gradually perfected, with data buying booming. Jacqueline felt that the end was near, so she started the new media line for One Week’s public account. Gu Yi then began running both the public account and the print magazine, dealing with topics, layouts, and images in the daily grind... She pulled up the highest-performing articles from each year, which had little to do with trends. Although Jacqueline sought idols, she firmly rejected using hot topics for data, forcing her employees to focus on deep content. The first time Gu Yi was pushed to tears was when they did a special on finding beauty products and fashion outfits in literary works. During the day, Gu Yi was scolded, and at night, she would go home and read Zhang Ailing’s works, only to be criticized for not being thorough enough. This type of personality only suited her for running errands in the content department...

Jacqueline said to Gu Yi, “You haven’t contributed all that much to One Week until now, but you’ve definitely been one of the more innovative employees. Especially with the Bypass comic series, and the previous article on the Bulgari Hotel, it really showcased your talent for stand-up comedy. So, after thinking for a while, I’ve decided it’s time to put you in a more suitable position. But when you get there, don’t rush into stand-up; things that don’t make money can easily damage your confidence. Someone with a fragile heart like you isn’t suited for it.”

Hearing this, Gu Yi felt a bit warm, but then frowned. “What’s that last sentence about?”

“If it doesn’t make money, you’ll sign bad contracts. Remember how you took leave to go for arbitration when you broke a contract before?”

“Oh…”

“You’re not just a stand-up comedian. Some people ‘act,’ and you create content. People who can do content will always find a place to thrive. Especially in stand-up comedy, video, behind-the-scenes stories, actor interviews, cross-industry collaborations—you can do all of this without me teaching you.”

Jacqueline smiled faintly, a bit desolate. “When you get to the place you love, you’ll realize that work is far more interesting than men. Most ‘other halves’ in this world aren’t as fulfilling as exploring the world.”

Gu Yi looked at Jacqueline, seeing her as enthusiastic and innocent in the late night hours, rather than cold. It was then that she truly understood why she liked working late with Jacqueline so much. Jacqueline’s personality had a magnetic pull, attracting her to spend time and energy on content, never tiring. Gu Yi felt a bit reluctant and said, “Why don’t you come with me to switch jobs?”

“You are even more overconfident than Huang Wenda. At least his company is a public relations firm.” 

“….” 

Jacqueline suddenly smiled. This smile was different from her usual indifferent expression at work; at this moment, she looked like a gentle older sister sharing the slight stirrings of her soul in the midnight hours. Gu Yi couldn’t help but ask: “I’ve seen that old post about your passionate relationship back then. Did you two break up because of the child?” 

The meeting room was quiet for a long time before Jacqueline spoke. “No. It was because one couldn’t meet the other’s expectations and didn’t want to try, and the other couldn’t bear seeing the other not becoming the person they expected. How could two people stay together like that? The child was a miscarriage due to my poor health, ‘induced abortion’ was just an excuse. The first was my failure as a mother, and the second was a choice I made as a woman—people become invulnerable in these lies.” 

Gu Yi looked at Jacqueline, and she seemed to match the cold, distant Alaska even more. In the stillness of the late night, she lit a cigarette. “I will never advise you to give up your career for a man, because having an equally matched partner is a rare luck. Huang Wenda and Xu Guanrui are both good, but I can’t accept them. You’re not like me. I’ve heard too much about Liang Daiwen from Zhang Qingya—he’s obsessive, introverted, and emotionally distant, but it’s precisely such people who can make a difference. His indifference just now might show up again in the future. After being in a long-term relationship, it’s inevitable to care. Think about what you can do yourself.” 

Gu Yi put on her bag and walked downstairs, only to receive a transfer of 15,000 yuan from Jacqueline. “The performance bonus we discussed before. The maximum is 20,000 for mid-year and year-end at ‘Yi Zhou.’ I’m paying you an extra 15,000 for this, but you didn’t reach 500,000 followers, and you didn’t even know how to negotiate. Your ability is truly lacking.” 

She sighed and replied, “I don’t even have Huang Wenda in my mind anymore, so maybe it’s time to change that sharp tongue of yours. After all these years, your tone is still so harsh. In the future... you can find me for drinks.” 

She bought a cake at a nearly closing-down bakery downstairs, apologized in the way Liang Daiwen would have, as she had disturbed the sharing session. She took a taxi back to the Van Gogh Gallery and knocked on the door, but there was no one inside. She was a bit anxious, thinking the session should have ended by now. Where could he have gone? 

No phone call either… She originally planned to explain in person, which was why she hadn’t called, but after putting her shoes back on, she dialed his number. “Where are you?” 

“I’m downstairs at your place…” 

She hurriedly closed the door, and Liang Daiwen asked, “Where are you?” 

“Van Gogh Gallery…” Liang Daiwen sighed, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” 

With the cake in hand, Liang Daiwen entered and saw Gu Yi sitting at the table, opening the box. He smiled in relief. Gu Yi then realized, both of them knew the other had been wrong, and both wanted to apologize. She felt a little sad; Liang Daiwen wasn’t someone who wanted misunderstandings to linger. 

“Why did you buy the cake?” Liang Daiwen asked. The habit of shyness hit him, and he wanted to avoid emotional moments. 

“I disturbed your sharing session. It’s my fault.” 

“Oh, this cake was a gift from a fan at my sharing session.” 

“You actually have fans?” 

“Can’t I tell a little lie?” 

“No, Liang Daiwen, the main issue is that you’re too kind. Being a good man doesn’t really have much of a market...” 

Before she could finish, Liang Daiwen suddenly pressed her head down, and Gu Yi ended up face-first into the cake she had bought. Mango mousse smeared across her mouth and nose, and Liang Daiwen said, “Oh, so this is what it feels like to prank someone.” 

Her eyes were covered in cream, and although she still felt a little uneasy inside, she couldn’t help but feel some joy. This was the first time Liang Daiwen had shown such emotion toward her. She felt delighted by this change, which others might find strange, but it was the kind of exaggerated, playful love that she had taught him. She chased him around the living room, wiping the cream off her face in an attempt to retaliate, running after him. Then a thought suddenly flashed in her mind: whether they stayed together or broke up, she wanted the deepest bond possible with Liang Daiwen. 

After taking a shower in the bathroom, Liang Daiwen helped her wash her hair. “Someone asked today during the Q&A session if the things I do are unrealistic.” 

“No way.” 

“They said promoting accessible products this way is an exaggeration. Ultimately, there’s no market for people with disabilities; if there were, capital would have already targeted this sector. Medical care is a cake, but accessibility is not—so it’s not needed.” 

“Ridiculous.” 

“Who knows. There were too many frustrating things today…” Liang Daiwen turned off the shower, “But seeing you calms me down.” 

Liang Daiwen didn’t dream, luckily. Gu Yi secretly checked the cloud drive, and the recording of his sharing session had indeed been uploaded. She downloaded it and went to the study to edit the video—this was the first skill she had learned during her internship. After carefully reviewing the footage, she divided it into ten-minute segments and added subtitles, typing each word herself instead of using auto-recognition. She wanted to listen carefully to what her boyfriend had been saying. 

If she could turn it into a skit, maybe it would be nice to share it at the Antelope Talk. This was her own charm. Rather than compete with other women over jealousy, she’d rather use humor to win Liang Daiwen over. The man who used to never laugh at anything was now becoming someone she wanted to make laugh, and if she couldn’t do that, all those years of being an artistic slave would be in vain! 

The variety show “Waking Up in Love” was filmed in a villa area in Pujiang. Filming was not as easy as imagined. Though it was a reality show with ordinary participants, Gu Yi immediately noticed that the participants were anything but ordinary. The four male guests included a trendy brand entrepreneur, a returning VC, a TikTok influencer, and a handsome university student; the four female guests included a fitness-obsessed European and American returnee, a sweet dessert chef straight out of a Taiwanese drama, a financial analyst from a securities company, and a frail woman who had been a cancer patient. 

Everyone, regardless of gender, had a strong presence. She shyly accepted the preliminary interview, where staff helped her put on a microphone and calmly introduced herself. She didn’t dare reveal too much about her past. As each of the eight contestants entered, she was the first to walk in and received compliments about her beauty, but as their gazes crossed, she wasn’t the most favored one.

She was eager to leave; this place was indeed not suitable for her. Everyone spoke in riddles, and although she understood them, she couldn’t adapt. The atmosphere was too intense. According to the script, she was supposed to develop a flirtation with a returnee VC in the first episode. Over three days and three nights of filming, she shared a bunk with a pastry chef. The cameras captured intimate conversations between the male and female guests, and Guan Xingxin, the character she played, was supposed to fall for the VC at first sight—this was the first conflict of the plot. According to the script, she certainly couldn’t let that happen, but in front of the camera, she appeared disinterested. The VC’s personality was too sleazy; after a while, Huang Wendao seemed much fresher in comparison. She couldn’t quite play the part. During an interview, she said she wouldn’t steal a man from a friend, after all, nothing was more important than female friends.

After the first filming, Guan Xingxin left the villa and began walking three kilometers to the subway station. It was hard to get a taxi. The nearest bus stop was across a flyover, and the area was dark with workers riding electric bikes on their way home. Some cars passed by—fellow actors she had just filmed with under the same roof. Guan Xingxin could tell they had either pre-arranged taxis or were couples who had planned to drive back together. But she was alone, attending the program without any plan for how to get home after it ended. But what did that matter? Who wouldn’t suffer a bit in the city? No one would notice her at night. She just had to get to the bus stop quickly.

Her phone was almost out of battery. She ran past the first intersection, the sound of the flyover booming above, as electric bikes and motorcycles sped by, with some people turning back to look at her. She didn’t dare look. At the next set of traffic lights, she stood on the island, feeling nervous. After crossing this road, it was only 300 meters to the bus stop. Someone behind her whistled. Of course, why was she walking alone on this desolate road, full of trucks and private cars? It wasn’t as if she thought herself exceptionally beautiful, but walking on a barren street, wearing a white dress, fair-skinned and with shiny black hair, she certainly stood out as the night fell. Behind her, an electric bike seemed to be following. Her shoes were really uncomfortable, but she couldn’t turn back. She had to walk quickly and act tough. The ride-hailing app kept spinning, and her phone had only 3% battery left. She felt a bit discouraged. Why had she agreed to join a variety show and stay in the suburbs for three days and nights, playing mind games with people she didn’t know, only to realize she couldn’t even get a cab at night? What a foolish decision. The whistling continued, and it wasn’t for her. It definitely wasn’t.

She didn’t walk on the sidewalk but ran along the non-motorized lane beside the green belt. She darted out of the path where the green belt had been trampled, trying to hail a taxi.

Fear was instinctual. The electric bike behind her was getting closer. Someone shouted, “Hey, beautiful! Don’t run! Beautiful!”

Her heart raced, and she turned around. The electric bike was dirty, and the rider was indeed shouting at her, but his expression was unclear. The bike was small, and the flashing lights hurt her eyes. Her dress got caught on a tree branch, and she hastily unlocked her phone to dial 110, but the screen went black.

Despite the fear, the last thought that flashed through her mind wasn’t “Well, whatever,” but “No, I can’t let this happen. Yu Dule is still waiting for me to go home.”

The electric bike stopped behind her. Before the rider could grab her, she tore her dress and ran onto the road. A car stopped, and the driver—someone familiar—was Huang Wendao. He blocked her in front, kicking the bike’s front wheel over, shouting, “Are you crazy?” He opened the passenger door for her. “Let’s go. We’re going home.”

She didn’t see the series of actions clearly, but before she knew it, she was in the car. The car smoothly ascended the flyover, and Huang Wendao didn’t speak. He pressed the gas pedal hard, driving with intense emotions, even more agitated than she was. When they entered the city and stopped at a traffic light, he saw the torn dress hem and became furious. “Did he touch you?”

“No, I scratched it myself,” Guan Xingxin replied, still frozen in the passenger seat, cold as ice.

“I purposely came to find you. When I saw them wrapping up, I chased after them and saw this scene. Fucking hell,” he said angrily.

“Why did you come to find me?”

“I was worried they’d exploit you on the show,” Huang Wendao said without looking at her, his tone anxious. “I recommended you to them, and… anyway, I’m really worried.”

“It’s fine. I can handle the filming. Next time, I’ll arrange a car in advance,” Guan Xingxin clenched her fists. “I won’t avoid people anymore. I don’t care if they criticize me or look down on me.”

Huang Wendao glanced at her in the passenger seat. “Who looks down on you?”

“I tried to commit suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning before that video of me in a hotel room. Maybe hiding away and being weak doesn’t mean anything, right?”

The next time they returned to the filming location for the second shoot, Guan Xingxin seemed like a different person. She suddenly refused to let the VC man, whom she had originally planned to let have the spotlight, take the lead. At a barbecue party, she took the initiative to handle the grilling, wearing gloves and letting her hair down. She asked him to help tie her hair back, and once he reached out, she quickly fed him a piece of pork belly, whispering, “Don’t let them know. I’ll give you a little extra.”

She knew she was liked by straight men, and that was something she had always known. Variety shows, in the end, didn’t have particularly great scripts. The setups were all about drama and complicated relationships to draw attention. She didn’t need to follow the script, nor did she need to deliberately make herself stand out. The editing team preferred unexpected moments—she just needed to create those surprises. The type of woman who played the innocent white lotus in front of men, acting pitiful—wasn’t that her true role?