Chapter 57

There could be no more tragic confession than this.

Gu Yi turned around, and Liang Daiwen was still kneeling at the edge of the bed. Upon seeing the velvet box, he became flustered. “This isn’t for you, don’t overthink it.”

“Using a velvet box though...” Gu Yi looked at his half-kneeling posture, her voice trembling. “Don’t lie.”

But Liang Daiwen straightened up, resolute. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I’ve been keeping it with me to help me sleep, using this box just makes it feel warmer. A transparent box feels eerie, and a plastic one is too rough. It’s really not a gift for you.”

“Fine, I get it. No need to deny it so much,” Gu Yi said, feeling even more upset. His directness in the moment of confession was heart-wrenching.

Liang Daiwen took the velvet box from her hand. “Your pride, courage, and resolve—I’m not giving them back.”

“If you had given me a hint that you liked me earlier...”

“That night at your door, I said something to you. You never gave me an answer.”

Gu Yi clearly remembered that night, when there was a loud crash next door. Except for “I” and “you,” she couldn’t hear anything else. Since then, they had been pushing and pulling, and Gu Yi never had a chance to speak. Just looking at him filled her with precious thoughts that were too fleeting to turn into words. She treasured those moments that couldn’t be verbalized more than revisiting the past—they felt more alive.

Liang Daiwen wouldn’t let go. “That night, I said, ‘Don’t leave me.’ You never gave me an answer. I thought you were just holding me there, thinking I was some kind of emotional handicap. I was ready to be alone. But when you turned and left at the airport, I realized you might like me more than I thought, and that’s when I understood what it meant to have my heart broken.”

He reached out, pointing at his chest, the man increasingly adept at expressing his sadness. Gu Yi had seen so many men who played with others’ youth using their minds, heard so many stories of regret driven by schemes and calculations. But now, looking at Liang Daiwen, she couldn’t help but think of the broken robot, Royd, who was repaired after being damaged—people’s gazes only soften after they’ve been hurt. She grabbed the hand that was pointing at his chest, stood on tiptoe to approach him, and wanted to kiss his lonely lips. The hand immediately sensed it and gripped hers back.

Behind them was the nightstand, and as Gu Yi lost her balance from accidentally bumping into it, the lamp fell. Liang Daiwen, unfazed, held onto her hand, pulling her against his chest. He was not a man who would be frightened easily.

His chest was warm, even though he was thin—holding him felt stronger than herself. His eyes, lowered, gazed at her—this was the first time she saw his face up close with expression: narrow double eyelids, bright black pupils, looking at her without reservation; a straight nose with a slight hump, a mole beneath his left eye, full lips that were softer when not pursed, stubble beginning to show, his whole being lost for her. She had not been wrong when she contradicted Pony’s declaration of love in the office—love cannot be clearly explained, but once accepted, nothing else matters.

The door was pushed open, and Dr. Shen entered with salad dressing still on the corner of his mouth. “I heard something fall. Are you okay?” He looked at the scene in the room and became instantly embarrassed. “Oh, sorry, we thought there was a fight. You two continue.”

How could they continue? Gu Yi was confused, and Liang Daiwen quickly hid the velvet box under the pillow, gently pushing her shoulder. “Let’s go outside.”

Back in the living room, everyone was raising their eyebrows at them. Guan Xingxin said, “Dr. Shen, you definitely ruined the moment. We all told you not to go in.”

“Yeah, if you hadn’t gone in, maybe by this time next year, you’d already have a kid,” Yu Dule laughed lecherously.

Gu Yi blushed. “Shut up. Ever since you two got together, you talk the same way—so poisonous.”

Lu Ming only smiled and averted his gaze. On the TV, a stand-up comedian was telling unfunny jokes, making him laugh reluctantly.

Guan Xingxin mysteriously said, “Liang Daiwen, I heard in the CS locker room that there’s a girl who has a crush on you. Does your desk have a few chocolates every day? And little gifts in the drawer? She followed you around during your CS game. Too bad she was too weak and got knocked out early—she’s actually pretty.”

“Yeah, she’s a Harvard graduate, from another team, sits next to me.”

“Why not sit alone?”

“The team only has me.”

The mood in the bedroom had already been broken. Guan Xingxin continued, “Little bunny, remember the company is forming a virtual girl group? Xu Guanrui brought a bunch of materials and albums from Japan. He said he wanted to meet with you, just asking you to pass them to me.”

Gu Yi’s phone indeed had a message from Xu Guanrui: “Is tomorrow night convenient for a meeting? I have something to discuss.”

She looked up at Liang Daiwen again. His expression was unnatural. Behind each of them, there were other options, neither willing to give in.

The next evening, Liang Daiwen sat in a bar on Fuxing Zhonglu, drinking. It had been a while since he returned, but he still hadn’t been able to reply to Zhang Qingya’s email. The termination letter and compensation package were opened. Zhang Qingya kindly asked in the email if he wanted to pay in installments. Looking at the seven-digit breach of contract sum, Liang Daiwen replied politely, “I’ll pay it all at once. Once it’s done, we’ll have nothing to do with each other.”

The tequila on the table was mixed with mint and ice, and it was refreshing. The low sofa wasn’t the most comfortable place to use his laptop. The two men at the neighboring table, apparently back from abroad, were speaking a mix of English and Chinese. It seemed noisy at first, but when they mentioned a comedy show on Xiangyang North Road, Liang Daiwen focused his attention. One of the men said, “Back then, you were ambiguous with that actress, right? A bit of a northeastern accent, the whole bar knew you were just playing around, but she was serious. How did you end up sleeping with her?”

“Actually, the owner of a Japanese restaurant was trying to pursue her. He specifically invited a group of people to dinner, but that night she drank too much and told me she liked me. I didn’t refuse. I didn’t have much experience, and I let her take a taxi home afterward. It wasn’t much. Actually, she was a bit crazy, a stand-up comedian, all for show, pretending to be feminist, but actually had no experience. It was boring.”

Liang Daiwen glanced at the man, who had small tattoos on his hand and neck, rebellious but not too daring. Liang Daiwen raised his cup and threw it towards the neighboring table, spilling it all over the man’s pants without apologizing. He then raised his hand to order another drink from the bartender. The man at the neighboring table glared at him, and Liang Daiwen took his second drink, his hand slipping, knocking it to the ground, splashing the drink and broken glass everywhere.

“You son of a bitch...” The man stood up, slamming his hand on the table. “Apologize.”

“Did it spill on you? I didn’t see it.”

The man punched Liang Daiwen in the face, and Liang Daiwen wiped his cheek. “You threw the first punch. If you want to fight, do it outside. Don’t ruin other people’s business.”

At ten-thirty, Gu Yi finished her overtime and called Xu Guanrui. On the other end, it seemed like music was playing softly at home: “It’s okay, I’ll wait for you no matter how late. Actually, you probably know what I want to say to you, right?”

“It feels like the whole world is waiting for me to make a decision.”

“My comrade, I’ve been waiting for half a year, always waiting for the best timing, but what I got was Liang Daiwen. If I keep waiting, you’re definitely going to leave me, and even our camaraderie will be gone.”

Gu Yi remembered the yellow hair on her jeans: “Give me twenty more minutes, let’s talk face to face.”

“No problem.”

In fact, the taxi ride only took ten minutes. But Gu Yi stopped at a convenience store for a while, as if waiting for something. Five kilometers away at a bar, Liang Daiwen was fighting with two men, the chaos spilling from inside the bar to outside. The bartender and customers tried to intervene as the men shouted, “Who are you? Are you trying to be a hero? It’s none of your business if we want to do this!”

Liang Daiwen coughed heavily, then threw himself into the fight. The same ferocity he had when breaking the glass door in his classroom during his rebellious teenage years was still there, and no one could defeat the intensity of his anger.

Gu Yi arrived downstairs at Xu Guanrui’s building and thought, maybe tonight, she’d visit Xu Guanrui. Perhaps she had made the wrong choice in picking him. After all, Liang Daiwen had met some good women lately, his emotional barriers had improved, and he’d been able to let go of the painful memories of the past to start a new relationship. Maybe he would be more suited to someone else. She touched up her makeup by the glass of the building’s entrance, then entered the elevator. Just as she was about to close the door, she received a call: “Gu Yi, right? Your friend got into a fight, come to the police station.”

“Huh?”

“I’m Pan Tao, from the Xu Jia Hui police station. Aren’t you the comedian Gu Yi? Your friend’s fighting again. Come to the same police station as last time.”

“Lu Ming?”

“No, his name is Liang Daiwen. How could you mix up the words ‘your friend is fighting’ with ‘Lu Ming’ in such a way? Aren’t you a comedian?”

The call was disconnected, and the elevator door opened on the 21st floor, just twenty steps from Xu Guanrui’s door. Gu Yi hesitated, looking toward his place for a while, then stepped back into the elevator and went downstairs, taking a taxi to the Xuhui Police Station. What puzzled her most at that moment wasn’t Liang Daiwen’s fight, but rather the police officer—how much did he enjoy stand-up comedy?

At the station, it was similar to last time. Pan Tao, who was short in stature, spoke with a venomous tone: “You and that girl last time really are troublemakers. Last time, it was for her, and now it’s for you. I think you people from outside the city are all too rich, fighting and causing property damage. Is money so easy to earn?”

“Sorry.” Gu Yi glanced at the bruised man inside the room and spoke to Pan Tao.

“Trapped by emotions, wasting people’s time and money.” Pan Tao’s dark circles were nearly reaching his cheekbones.

“They aren’t bad people.”

“I don’t need you to tell me that. People aren’t one-dimensional; we, the police, understand that best.”

Inside the mediation room, Daiwen and the two other men were sitting together. As soon as Gu Yi entered, she understood: spoiled rich kids were those who made fools of themselves when they got married. She wasn’t sure how Liang Daiwen found them, but the fight was real. He was fighting because of his own anger. After being persuaded by the police, the men signed documents and left. Outside the police station, they spat and demonstrated, completely not acknowledging their wrongdoings. Gu Yi pulled Liang Daiwen away and walked in another direction. After a kilometer, she asked, “How does it feel to fight?”

“It hurts.”

“Then why fight?”

“Because I’m angry.”

“It’s all in the past, so why still be angry? I don’t care anymore.”

“I care. Even if I’m not the main character, I can’t help but feel it. People with money and resources trample on others’ dignity as if it’s nothing. They’re actually so shallow and despicable, it’s disgusting.”

“But isn’t that the adult world?”

Liang Daiwen tightly squeezed her hand: “Having feelings is not a good thing. In the past, I could easily analyze and judge, maximizing efficiency in what I did and avoiding interactions with others. I thought everyone was kind to me; now I truly understand what hypocrisy is. A smile and politeness can hide so much malice, and people can have so many hidden intentions. Over time, there will always be feelings and sincerity, but the reality is that people are always scheming and calculating.”

Gu Yi turned around, Liang Daiwen was furious in the dead of night. The man, his face bruised, his clothes disheveled, was still worried about her: “Don’t laugh, I see now you’re not laughing, you’re sad.”

“How have you changed so much in the past six months?”

“Been hit by a series of life blows.” Liang Daiwen bit his lip in frustration. “I’ll take you home. Are you going to meet Xu Guanrui tonight?”

“Yes, I didn’t expect you to stop me this way.”

“Coincidence. But if you think this is a scheme, then you can consider it as one.”

She wanted to be angry, but seeing the man who had fought for her with his swollen eyes, Gu Yi couldn’t bring herself to be mad.

After picking Liang Daiwen up from the police station in the middle of the night and taking him home, Gu Yi arrived at the office early the next morning, only to be immediately urged by Jacqueline to select topics. The deadlines were piling up, and by evening, there was a big box of her deliveries at the front desk. Xu Guanrui had sent something for Guan Xingxin directly to the One Week office, and only then did Gu Yi realize she hadn’t eaten lunch—and Xu Guanrui hadn’t called her.

Maybe it was too late now.

As she was leaving the office, holding the box, she saw Liang Daiwen waiting downstairs. After the fight, Liang Daiwen’s nose had a band-aid, and his face was bruised, but he was dressed quite formally. He asked, “Are you going to see Xu Guanrui?”

His sudden question confused Gu Yi—what happened to the real Liang Daiwen from last night? Liang Daiwen looked at her: “I’m planning to have dinner with that colleague soon, to talk with her.”

Gu Yi almost dropped the box in surprise. Looking at Liang Daiwen, who had suddenly turned angry, she snapped, “If you like her, then go ahead. You two would probably be a better match.”

Liang Daiwen’s face showed anger: “Is that what you really think?”

Of course, she didn’t think so. But seeing Liang Daiwen angry, she couldn’t help but push back—if he truly cared only about her, he wouldn’t even give her a chance to confess. Now, he was going to meet her for dinner; might as well just go home together!

Liang Daiwen spoke first: “I understand. You’ve told me in so many ways. Half a year has passed, and no matter if Xu Guanrui is in the picture or not, you won’t choose me.”

Without looking back, he walked away.

Gu Yi carried the box to give Guan Xingxin the album. Xu Guanrui’s box of albums and photo books was heavy, pressing against her chest and causing pain. She placed it on the table and immediately asked Guan Xingxin, “Do you have any alcohol?”

Yu Dule and Guan Xingxin exchanged a glance, both understanding what was going on. After opening a bottle, Gu Yi drank a few sips: “Liang Daiwen said he was going to have dinner with his Harvard female colleague, maybe they’ll be together this weekend.”

“It won’t happen, Liang Daiwen isn’t like that. He knows how to judge people,” Guan Xingxin shook her head.

“The main thing is, he can now recognize his feelings. When I first met him, he was like an elementary school student, but now he’s at least graduated high school. The other party is a Harvard girl, sounds like Liang Daiwen doesn’t dislike her.” The more she thought about it, the angrier she became, and she slammed the bottle onto the table. The beer foam spilled over like jealousy.

Yu Dule frowned: “This is your small-mindedness. You’ve already become a stand-up comedian, and artists shouldn’t stoop to the level of ordinary people.”

“In front of a Harvard girl, saying I’m a stand-up comedian would make me look like a joke, alright? Just because there are so many people from Harvard in Shanghai, do you think everyone is equal? In our generation, the Harvard girl Liu Yiting was a national treasure, selling millions of copies... Harvard isn’t the Harbin Buddhist Academy, it’s the top university in the US, man!”

Yu Dule clicked his tongue: “She’s gone crazy.”

Before the two of them could come up with a plan, Gu Yi suddenly stood up. Yu Dule asked, “Where are you going at this time of night?”

“To the office. I’m also the editor-in-chief of a public account, my work isn’t done yet.”

Gu Yi worked late at the office. Not only did she plan the first-quarter ads and topics, but she also screened through the advertising slots that could be filled, writing three articles in a row for the week, and sent them all to Jacqueline. Jacqueline replied almost immediately: “Got it, let’s discuss in my office tomorrow, there are other arrangements for two-week follow-ups.”

This was Jacqueline’s reassurance—she always responded immediately, never discussing personal matters. Gu Yi looked out the window at the gray-blue skyline; the surroundings were quiet. Advertisers, celebrities, artists, KOLs... all these things, which could never be her top priority, had become her companions. “Emotions are unreliable, work is,” she thought. She spent at least ten hours a day immersed in the industry. People didn’t even spare two hours a day for love, and her hand scrolling on her phone only moved a few seconds apart. Whether achieving success or facing torment, the feedback—both good and bad—became a part of her, gradually shaping her so-called “character.” She had a refined aesthetic, calm and prudent when predicting the industry and customer needs, which had been cultivated through years of experience, aside from her stand-up comedy career.

Maybe in the city, love had to be sacrificed for the city and career. Perhaps the complexity of the city made love harder to find, with people running through the maze, their red strings tangled, not knowing who they would end up with after untangling them.

She was scared, but still fascinated by it all. Could she make these thoughts clear to Liang Daiwen, who had just reconciled with her? If the person on the other side of his red string was someone else, and she was just a passing connection in the process, could she really bear to let him go?

Before she could sort out her thoughts, she fell asleep. When she woke up, she was resting at her desk, and no one had woken her up—it was at Jacqueline’s request. She opened her phone, and the work group and her friends’ group were mixed together. Liang Daiwen had said in the group, “I’m about to head out for dinner with the Harvard girl, wish me luck.”

The other group exploded: “Gu Yi, go stop him!”

“I still have to meet with Jacqueline this afternoon, I can’t leave. Also, it’s been at least forty minutes since he left, he’ll probably reach the restaurant in ten minutes.”

In the group with Liang Daiwen, Guan Xingxin asked, “Don’t you want to reconsider?”

There was no new message in the group.

Gu Yi was called into Jacqueline’s office. The other group was shouting, “Gu Yi, hurry up and stop him, you can even stop him in the group, can you really bear to let Liang Daiwen go?”

“Is it too late for me to say anything now?” she typed with trembling hands.

“‘I like you’ and ‘I love you’ are unconditional forgiveness. Little bunny, happiness should be in your own hands, don’t miss it.”

Jacqueline said in the meeting room, “Gu Yi, come in a little later, I have to take a call.” It was too late, and Gu Yi gripped her phone, crying, “I’m so anxious—how should I tell him I like him? I’ve already rejected him, and said ‘one day he will regret it,’ so if I say I like him now, won’t it be a total contradiction? Oh my god, I’m so scared, I regret saying all those harsh things. Please help me, his colleague is from Harvard. What should I do if he gets taken by her? I like him! He’s my star that I chased after—how could I let him go to someone else? I’m going to cry... can someone pass this on for me?”

After sending this message, the group was dead silent. Gu Yi sat anxiously in the office, her heart pounding. What was wrong with these people? Just now they all wanted to help, but now no one was speaking?

She opened the screen, ready to complain, but then looked up at the group name, and froze.

She had sent that message to the wrong group.

The two groups were next to each other, with completely different names. She was so nervous that after sending it, she didn’t check for two minutes, and retracting it wasn’t an option.

Who... can help me smooth this over...

The other group was laughing hysterically: “Hahahahahaha Gu Yi, was this on purpose? Your mom really gave you the best pun name in the world, how come you pull this silly stunt just now?”

Gu Yi took a deep breath: “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Yu Dule kept posting emoji stickers: “I know, you’re such a klutz. But how could you keep making mistakes like this, hahahahaha!”

“Stop talking, I just want to find a crack in the ground to crawl into.”

“What are you afraid of? It’s just a mistake in the group chat, it’s not like you did something embarrassing. Besides, now he knows, it’s fine, you’re probably the funniest person on this year’s stand-up variety show…”

At this moment, Gu Yi felt an overwhelming sense of regret—shame, embarrassment, nervousness… it felt like a thousand arrows piercing her heart. But Liang Daiwen seemed to have no reaction. Holding her phone, Gu Yi was angry and humiliated, thinking to herself, “Liang Daiwen, you’d better react, don’t just leave me hanging and embarrass me.”

She was, of course, very nervous. Her face was hot, and her palms were sweaty. With her phone notifications on, yet it still hadn’t vibrated. She went to have a meeting with Jacqueline, made coffee, and even received a delivery, but still, her phone showed no response. The silence was like rejection. Damn it, Liang Daiwen, are you going to reply or not?!

Finally, her phone vibrated. A private message from Guan Xingxin came through: “Actually... Liang Daiwen asked us to help set a trap for you... but he didn’t expect you to send the wrong message to the group first. He was actually waiting for you at the restaurant.”

“……”

It was a trap, all a trap! Didn’t we agree no lies?!

New messages came in from the main group, and the quiet chat was filled only with Liang Daiwen’s words, still in the tone she taught him:

“Okay, got it, I’ll pass the message along.”