Chapter 80

A traveler far from home may lose their name.

When it is called again, it is like a spell that knocks on the door of the heart, and under this name, you must face yourself honestly.

Xie Que Shan had always resisted honesty, but at this moment, he was at an unusual disadvantage.

And yet, he felt a bit happy.

The tent was still eerily quiet, and it felt as if, from a distance, a drop of water had fallen into a lake, creating endless ripples in silence.

Nan Yi could hear her own heartbeat growing heavier.

Was she nervous about that answer?

Zhang Yuehui’s words lingered vaguely in her mind. She had never viewed this matter from the perspective of an onlooker. Forget all the emotions; words can deceive, and so can actions. Don’t focus on what he said, focus on the result.

The result was that she safely left and even saved the Yucheng army. A man like Xie Que Shan, who never overlooked anything, would never have left her a chance to survive. Yet, it was he who had broken the jade bracelet.

Now, looking back at these details, she realized there might be hidden meanings within.

He had also rescued her from the Returning Hall and made sure she healed properly. She could clearly feel that he wanted what was best for her.

When they first met, she was afraid of him, kneeling and looking up at him. The second time, she only wanted to escape, but was forced to stand beside him, looking him in the eye. Yet, at this moment, with her wings fully grown and clearly capable of soaring high, she only gazed down at his face and his eyes, almost wishing to see through him.

What kind of person was he? This was important. It concerned why she had become the person she was now.

“Did you purposely break the bracelet so I would deliver a message to the Yucheng army?” She asked again, unsure if her question was clear enough.

Even though it was not an ideal time to be open and honest, she still couldn’t wait to ask.

Her voice was soft, and the warm breath from her words brushed against his ear.

Xie Que Shan finally lost his composure, avoiding her penetrating gaze. He smirked with some pride: “Hmph, you do have some insight.”

Nan Yi let out a long sigh of relief—he admitted it! She had thought it would be incredibly difficult to extract the truth from him.

“You scared me—” Realizing her voice had gotten louder, she quickly clamped her mouth shut.

Xie Que Shan held back a low chuckle, his voice filled with amusement: “The person is already gone.”

Nan Yi glared at him. “Then let go of me.”

Xie Que Shan remained calm, looking at her steadily, his arm still wrapped around her waist. “I have already sold out my country for glory. Even if it’s really a ‘golden house to hide a beauty,’ it wouldn’t be too much, right?”

Nan Yi was stunned. Had she shot herself in the foot? She couldn’t quite figure out if Xie Que Shan was teasing her or if he was being serious.

Naturally, she thought of that intimate encounter, but that was a huge puzzle, filled with complex and taboo emotions. She always instinctively avoided it, afraid to delve too deep.

“That day... was it all fake?”

Xie Que Shan froze for a moment.

He had been teasing her. It wasn’t really about hiding a beauty in a golden house, but he couldn’t let go. He had been enchanted by the intoxicating scene tonight and was walking on the edge of a dangerous boundary. But with her question, he was immediately pulled back.

Yes, it had all been a performance. The small bit of real emotion within that play? No need to speak of it.

“Of course it was fake,” he admitted openly, gently loosening his hold.

Nan Yi felt the hand on her waist move away, and the restraint was gone. Hearing him admit that everything had been fake, the burden pressing on her heart was finally lifted. The kiss in the cabin, the shocking love—it was all fake. This was the simplest way to understand it, wasn’t it?

She hurriedly sat up and straightened her clothes.

Pretending the previous joke hadn’t happened, Nan Yi tried to return to their previous topic, lightly complaining, “You didn’t even tell me in advance. What if I couldn’t escape and really died in that mountain?”

“You won’t die.”

He sat up as well, and they both sat rigidly on the edge of the bed, pretending to act as if nothing had happened.

“...But there should have been a more thorough plan, right?”

“You’re leaving, aren’t you? If I made it thorough, you wouldn’t be able to leave.”

Nan Yi was stunned, incredulously asking, “You actually want to let me go?”

“Yes, I let you go.” His tone was calm, as if it was just a common decision, but his gaze lingered on her face, greedy and unwilling to look away.

Nan Yi’s lips trembled, unable to say a word for a long time. She was greatly shocked, even more so than when she confirmed that he didn’t actually want to kill her.

She had thought he only cared about his family, protecting Lady Gantang like he did with Uncle San, which was why he saved the Yucheng army. She had been just a part of his plan. The fierce expression he showed her was just a precaution, fearing she might reveal his secrets. After all, any of these things, if exposed, could cost him his life.

She had come to terms with this. She was just a pawn to him. Living in this house, she had accepted this fact. If she fell into his hands again, she probably wouldn’t escape. She had prepared to use her wits to resist him, but now, he was saying that, on that night, he had actually planned to let her go.

No, not just to let her go. That day, he had given her something far more important.

If that night, they had gone downstream to Jinling, she would still be in fear, not knowing where to turn. But it was because she had saved the Yucheng army that she gained a greater power, becoming strong in a single night.

“Now, too,” Xie Que Shan said in a soft voice, “This is what I promised you.”

Nanyi felt like crying.

She had always been someone who was not valued, and she had gotten used to it. She had once entertained a fleeting thought: if she were Xie Xiaoliu, she would have scolded Zhang Yuehui harshly, thrown down some words she would never forgive him for, and walked away with a carefree attitude. But she wasn’t him. Even though she had been hurt, even though the promise she had kept for three years turned out to be a lie, she still forgave him with grace.

Because she had grown used to her place in life, she subconsciously understood Zhang Yuehui. Even if he had real feelings for her, she was still just an inconspicuous country girl. No matter how good she was, could she ever compare to endless wealth and ambition?

The first half of her life had been spent being overlooked, lowering herself, continuously being disregarded, and constantly diminishing herself. Even though her situation was slightly better now, some deeply ingrained thoughts still lingered in the depths of her consciousness. She didn’t even feel that the promises made to her had to be kept.

Especially with Xie Que Shan. He had too many reasons to look down on her. There was no signed contract, no official commitment; the things he said could be taken as mere words. But he didn’t, he didn’t at all.

This was a respect and courtesy far beyond anything else.

“The house isn’t safe anymore. If you want to leave, it must be soon. Tomorrow at Chen time, I will divert all the surveillance around here, and you can go out,” he said.

He wasn’t giving her an order but rather offering her the freedom to go anywhere she wished. But he also had a small selfish desire, hoping that she wouldn’t dislike him so much.

Nanyi’s already dry eyes became sore and swollen again. She was moved but didn’t want to say anything too sentimental. Instead, she forced out a joke: “Xie Que Shan, you’re suddenly being so nice to me. I might mistake you for a good person.”

Her voice carried a slight suppressed sob, and by the time she spoke the last word, the tears had fallen.

She lowered her head, the tears falling onto her hand. He looked down and pretended not to notice.

He simply smiled. “Within my limited range, I still have some feelings. After all, you’ve helped me with a few things.”

“That was only because you scared me into it,” Nanyi’s voice choked up more clearly, and her hand was soaked with tears.

So, girls really have so many tears.

He tried to lighten the mood: “You’re not going to run straight into Zhang Yuehui’s arms as soon as you leave, are you?”

She finally managed to laugh through her tears. “Do I look that silly to you?”

Xie Que Shan was still smiling, but a faint loneliness crept into his face under the candlelight. “Don’t look back.”

Nanyi also sensed a strange atmosphere spreading, one that felt like a distant tide rushing toward them, threatening to dampen their clothes. Subconsciously, she began to step back, trying to make herself look lighthearted with a joke: “I won’t look back. I’ll just run off, live a good life, eat delicious food... Didn’t you say you’d make sure I live out my remaining years in peace? Don’t you still owe me silver notes?”

“… You’re quite bold,” he replied.

“Lord Xie, you decide. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a lot or a little; it all depends on whether you’re generous enough,” she teased.

The small, self-satisfied person was still quite charming.

“Go to sleep.”

“Got it, my lord—hopefully, when I open my eyes tomorrow, I’ll be woken up by the smell of gold,” she replied.

Nanyi quickly crawled into bed and closed her eyes. The complex emotions still swirled in her chest, making it hard for her to fall asleep, but she could only pretend to be asleep, leaving enough space between her and Xie Que Shan to maintain a respectable distance. She heard him quietly extinguish the light, and his footsteps retreating. He seemed to stand by the curtain for a long time. She wasn’t sure, but when she secretly opened her eyes to look, he was already gone.

—

Meanwhile, Zhang Yuehui was still plotting how to take Nanyi from Xie Que Shan’s grasp.

Xie Que Shan was already very cautious. The people from Husa were able to follow because he had secretly nudged them in that direction.

He knew that once the house was exposed, Xie Que Shan would immediately move Nanyi. Once she was out of this tightly guarded house, there would be many things Xie Que Shan could no longer control, and that’s when he would have a chance to take her.

Things in this world cannot be won with reason. Deceit, tricks, and manipulation were the only ways to carve a path in troubled times. He didn’t care about things like broken mirrors. If one mirror shattered, he would create thousands of perfect mirrors to show her that the world never had broken mirrors.

He simply wanted to have her, for she was his last home in this world. They had once had such a good past together, and he couldn’t believe there was no possibility left between them. Whether it was called obsession or stubbornness, he just wanted to create another dream for them.

He hoped she would like it.

Sure enough, early the next morning, a tightly covered carriage left the house.

Immediately, the people from Husa followed.

Zhang Yuehui remained cautious, suspecting this could be a diversion. As expected, another cart carrying vegetables entered the house, and when it came out, the bamboo baskets on the cart were covered with a lid, revealing only the corner of a garment.

Only then did Zhang Yuehui follow.

…

When Nanyi woke up, the house was silent. Xie Que Shan had already left. There was a stack of silver notes at the head of the bed.

Full, yet empty.

She quickly disguised herself and left through the back door. The moment she stepped outside, she felt an unprecedented sense of freedom, mixed with a strange sense of loss.

Her steps didn’t dare to stop; she kept walking forward.

There was a shop in the city, “Liang’s Rice Shop,” which served as the meeting point for the Bing Zhu Si and the Yucheng Army. Nanyi knew it was the only place she could contact Bing Zhu Si.