Chapter 13

The unclear and unexplainable things, not just you who doesn’t understand

Gu Yi froze. Liang Daiwen was on a business trip in Beijing and hadn’t mentioned anything about attending the annual meeting. Moreover, when looking at the program list, there was no mention of his name at all?

She had been so nervous that her palms were sweaty, but now, this tree with a face passed right by her. With its expressionless look, its gaze scanned her, and wherever it landed, a chill ran down her spine. She couldn’t help but recall how she had spun her head like a power drill just moments ago and made sarcastic remarks, causing the atmosphere to go cold. For the first time, Gu Yi was desperately relieved that Liang Daiwen had emotional barriers, hoping that he wouldn’t be angry at this moment.

But wrapped in tree bark... it really suited his personality. Climbing the stairs was too troublesome, so he lifted the tree bark to reveal his legs, with polished shoes and slim ankles exposed. With the body hidden beneath the bark, he lost his sense of direction and just walked toward the audience. He almost stepped off the edge with just two steps left, but a colleague grabbed him and pulled him back. The bark fell with a thud, revealing his face—still the familiar, expressionless look. The audience burst into laughter. The atmosphere, which Gu Yi had just cooled down with her stand-up, was now revived.

The song probably had lyrics and composition by the employees themselves. The lyrics, accompanied by subtitles, were supposed to use green, but for some reason, someone with a lack of brains decided to make it more “internet” by using white background with FZHeiTi font. The screen switched abnormally... it was quite dreadful. Gu Yi wondered, if the poem reading was this awkward, the bosses must have been more uncomfortable than she was during her stand-up.

Liang Daiwen, inside the tree costume, swayed to the music, but judging by his expressionless face, Gu Yi guessed he was just waiting for the program to end. She stared at the tree absentmindedly. After spending time with him, it seemed like even a face without expression could convey multiple emotions: shyness, dazedness, stiffness... From her position beneath the stage, she could clearly see that the face of the tree was now lost in outer space. Even though he had no expression, his eyes were still darting around, and he was genuinely bored with the patient and serious performances of those around him. Even without the ability to sense emotions, he could still find this occasion dull.

Among carnivorous animals, a tree seemed out of place.

The spotlight shone on the colleagues in front who were performing the choir. It was unbearable. Each person was wearing a green cultural T-shirt, which, when turned around, revealed a slogan aligned with the company’s eco-friendly values. Gu Yi thought to herself, this app’s tree-planting feature is probably used to track affairs based on energy consumption. Indeed, it’s green in both style and level.

After stepping off the stage and shedding the “tree bark,” Liang Daiwen was wrapped in a gray-black shirt and tie, his face pale, with large dark circles hanging under his eyes. The changing room was connected to the backstage area beside the banquet hall, with props lined up along the passage. Colleagues came and went, and when Liang Daiwen saw Gu Yi, he instinctively protected her as he was carrying a box.

Gu Yi hid behind him, watching his shoulders and ears. No one said anything as they passed by, every colleague greeting them with a smile. Tonight’s performances were full of drama—the awkward stand-up comedy, a hot-tempered designer performing as a plant—it seemed there was nothing more entertaining than gossip. Gu Yi thought to herself that internet people still had energy. Logically, no matter what happened at the annual meeting, it was just a formality before the holiday, and such gossip wasn’t tied to any interests. It clearly didn’t need to be dwelled on.

Hiding behind Liang Daiwen, his distant and unapproachable aura seemed to create a protective barrier around her. She could smell the shower gel on his body, and once she brushed against him, their scents seemed to match.

Liang Daiwen returned to his seat, where female colleagues in evening dresses were gathered around a round table. Less than ten seconds later, he stood up and walked to the side, leaning against the wall while checking his watch. A female colleague approached him to exchange contact information. He nodded expressionlessly to apologize, pulled out his phone which had turned off due to a dead battery, and politely declined. The boss came over with a drink to chat, and when clinking glasses, Liang Daiwen gave a brief, fake smile, exactly like a version of Ding Haein. Gu Yi watched from afar, feeling unusually nervous. Could it be that after finishing this drink, Liang Daiwen would be fired?

The more she thought about it, the more anxious she became, and she approached Liang Daiwen: “Why did you come back?”

“I’m bored out of my mind,” Liang Daiwen loosened his tie, and his masculine aura spread through the gaps in his fingers and collar. Gu Yi felt dizzy watching him. He didn’t notice: “I had a fight with a client and got complained about. The schedule was empty, and I was afraid you’d be left hanging, so I came to cheer you on. After seeing your brilliant performance, I think I’m probably going to lose my job. Tell me, how many minutes did the stand-up last?”

“Five minutes...”

“How long did it take to prepare the script?”

“About a week...”

“How long did the last part take?”

“30 seconds...”

“How much guts do you have?”

“…”

Liang Daiwen didn’t ask anymore. His Windsor knot tie, which had been neat, was now messy, and Gu Yi thought he was exuding an overwhelming amount of testosterone, not even knowing where to look. “Are you angry?” she asked.

“I’m not angry,” Liang Daiwen replied, “Do you still want to stay here? The air’s terrible, it’s stifling.”

Even though Liang Daiwen didn’t have the ability to express emotions normally, Gu Yi could still tell he was in a bad mood. After all, she was the one who messed things up. Feeling guilty, she packed up her things and obediently followed him. She decided, if Liang Daiwen got demoted or fired because of her, she would write an apology letter, record a video with no makeup to bow in apology, and post a long message on Weibo, vowing never to accept any more corporate events. But the passionate youth grabbed her suitcase, placed it on top of his own bag, and pulled it along, not even wearing his down jacket. The wind in the suburbs made Gu Yi sneeze three times. She thought Liang Daiwen would give her his jacket for warmth, but he stopped at the intersection and put it on himself.

His movements were fluid.

On that dark and windy night in the suburbs, Liang Daiwen unexpectedly called a car back to Shanghai. Gu Yi was calculating how much the taxi fare to Shanghai would be, while also wondering if it was because he felt truly ashamed and was fleeing back to Shanghai overnight. But wait, wasn’t his phone off because it had run out of battery?

She swallowed, testing Liang Daiwen: “Will I really lose my job because of this…?”

“You don’t have that much influence.”

Gu Yi was left speechless all the way. Liang Daiwen fell asleep in the car within seconds, no snoring or grinding his teeth, quietly resting in the backseat. His calm and steady breathing was contagious, and Gu Yi, after closing her eyes, quickly drifted into a light sleep. In her dream, she had short hair like a boy and was skipping class, climbing over a wall with a thin boy, riding a bike down a slope. When she looked back, a narrow and handsome face appeared—it was Liang Daiwen. He stood up, pedaled past her, and turned around to grin challengingly. They passed by train tracks, and before they could stop, the crossbeam directly hit...

She woke up abruptly, her body bent 90 degrees, resting on Liang Daiwen’s leg, hugging the down jacket he had draped over her. Her waist hurt, but she felt warm and comfortable—probably the best sleep she had in months. Despite the bumpy road, she felt steady, and there was a hand on her cheek. Gu Yi didn’t move, just followed the direction of the fingers. Liang Daiwen, the crooked old tree, hadn’t woken up. One hand was resting on Gu Yi’s head, the other cradling the back of her neck, as if preparing to unleash a Kamehameha.

It was a bit humiliating. Gu Yi opened her eyes and stared at the seat behind the driver. She couldn’t think of a metaphor to describe this odd position in a romantic way. But on this impromptu and awkward night, she didn’t feel like she had won. Liang Daiwen’s warm fingers made her feel that, even if she was an outcast, she still had a companion.

She hoped that when she closed her eyes again, she would return to that dream, to hear Liang Daiwen laugh once more. But instead, she dreamt of all the moments she had been awkward and forgotten her lines at ounce, her repeated failures keeping her awake. She could only miserably reflect on her life on the road, especially since meeting Liang Daiwen, feeling like she was at the starting line of a hundred-meter hurdle race, knocking over all the obstacles only to be caught in the net at the end, twisted in position, reminding herself that it was okay, all the losses had been digested, and from now on, she would be someone who could endure losses without indigestion.

When they arrived home, Gu Yi felt like her waist had completely fallen apart. In the elevator, she felt like a broken screw. Liang Daiwen had remained silent the entire time, and she felt a bit guilty: “I messed up, I know, I’m really sorry. I just speak too bluntly and don’t know how to communicate. I’ll charge my phone upstairs and immediately order a communication skills course from Tsai Kangyong.”

“Forget it,” Liang Daiwen said, staring at the light above: “If you could learn, you would have made a decent salesperson by now. In a corporate event like this, still trying to keep it real, you should go be an underground rapper.”

His jab made her snap back to reality. Liang Daiwen had poor luck with people, and it was bad luck for him to encounter her. Losing his job was probably well deserved.

In the elevator, Gu Yi got irritated seeing his business suit reflection. She went in and immediately changed into a loose T-shirt: “I probably shouldn’t do stand-up comedy in formal wear. In those super corporate settings, I always end up elevating my values and unintentionally angering a lot of people.”

“Was that unintentional?” Liang Daiwen came out of the bedroom, still in his clothes, having not yet changed. For the first time, he sat on his own sofa, the bald patch on his head visible, reminding Gu Yi of the shock he had caused earlier.

“Mostly, the men are all sharp in suits, and the women wear little dresses. The way they have their hands tied behind their backs, with so many people in the audience, the video gets uploaded online, and people recognize you, then judge you for being cheap, dressed so provocatively, clearly just to get groped.” After saying that, she threw herself onto the sofa. Liang Daiwen immediately stood up as if by reflex and went to the kitchen to drink water.

“Liang Daiwen, does your leg hurt when you sit?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“When I sit, you stand to the side. You didn’t sit during the annual meeting either...”

Liang Daiwen drank his water silently. “Your skirts and dresses are too short. The angle from where I sat, it’s not really appropriate.”

Gu Yi was stunned. At the icebreaker program where everyone was cheering, most people were celebrating the intentionally staged physical contact and ambiguous gestures. But Liang Daiwen, just sitting there, felt it was wrong to take advantage of women with his gaze.

What kind of cool and abstinent personality is this... it’s driving me crazy...

After working on the script all week in the office, Gu Yi received a payment of one thousand yuan on Alipay on Friday morning, and the HR she had been coordinating with transferred two thousand more via WeChat, leaving a very polite message: “Teacher Gu, the payment for the annual meeting performance is complete.”

After thanking them, Gu Yi felt something was off. The performance fee was three thousand yuan, but the Alipay transfer didn’t include any deductions for taxes, so why was the payment split into two parts via WeChat? Does such a large company really need to use this method for such a small amount?

As a senior who often submits receipts for reimbursement, Gu Yi only thought of one explanation: the performance fee was actually just one thousand yuan, and Liang Daiwen had asked the HR to make up a reason to pay the rest. However, he had overlooked the fact that HR needed a screenshot to upload to the company’s system, so the payment had been split into two.

She wasn’t one to keep things in, so she directly asked HR: “Excuse me, is the performance fee for the show introduced by Devin really only one thousand yuan?”

The reply came after a long pause: “You guessed it. Devin and I are on good terms, and he asked me for a favor. He said that comedy shows generally have low earnings, and the company could inflate the amount a bit to reflect value. That way, you might feel more confident about performing. Actually, he’s an independent designer under contract, taking commissions from clients, and didn’t really need to be at the annual meeting. He specially came to play a tree for you...”

Gu Yi felt like she had just been injected with adrenaline and was ready to confront Liang Daiwen when she got home. Just as she opened the elevator door, she saw him holding a racket, preparing to play squash. She pushed Liang Daiwen back into the elevator, and when the button was pressed from upstairs, in that moment of weightlessness, she blurted out, “You have emotional expression disorders, don’t you?”

Liang Daiwen glanced at her. If he were a normal man, his eyebrows would have furrowed in surprise, but his expression was flat as if his brows had been ironed out. “How did you know?”

“Guan Xingxin told me. She said that the emotions you feel and convey are only about 10% of what they should be.”

“Now that you know, I won’t hide it anymore. But can you do me a favor? Don’t tell anyone.”

Liang Daiwen hated using the phrase “help me,” as it implied weakness. A family with a stroller came in, and Gu Yi was squeezed in front of Liang Daiwen. His scent enveloped her, and he politely turned her toward the corner to protect her. As he did, her heart cracked. Liang Daiwen, the average gentleman, was just another heartbreaker. She glanced up at him for a second, but there was no change in his expression—no blush, nothing. She felt a bit defeated—no feelings, nothing.

When the elevator returned to just the two of them, she quickly moved to the other side. “I promise I won’t tell anyone. But can you tell me, what does all this mean? Did you choose me to be someone you can confide in because you think I’m like you, an outcast, or did you just want to help me out since I’m unlucky, or—do you like me?”

After saying that, she regretted it. She couldn’t keep seeing the world through a dreamy lens. For someone condemned to die by love, the bubbles of dreams felt like oxygen greenhouses—once pricked, it was even harder to breathe.

“I see you, and I feel uncomfortable. I can’t explain what that feeling is.”

Gu Yi stared blankly at Liang Daiwen. The discomfort he once had for his ex-girlfriend had now been transferred to her. What did that mean? Just as she was about to ask, her phone suddenly rang. On the other end of the line, with a sobbing voice, was Guan Xingxin: “Liang Daiwen, I’m at the hotel. I bought charcoal. I... might not want to live anymore.”