Chapter 23

Xie Xinqi realized that her on-and-off relationship with Su Jiannian was something she had created herself. At first, she didn’t feel much for him, but he was different from other men—he never proactively contacted her, which made her more concerned about his every move. Even when he just liked something on her social media, she would be thrilled, her heart racing, checking her phone at least a hundred times in a night. She was so anxious that even the usually focused Xie Xiuchen couldn’t help but take off his glasses and ask suspiciously, “Is something going on, do you want to go out?”

Their study rooms were separated by a glass wall with blinds. She dressed casually at home, so she usually kept the blinds closed. But recently, he had noticed that she no longer closed the blinds, and her sitting posture was becoming more unkempt, with her thighs resting on the sofa, her skirt almost sliding up to her thighs. Xie Xiuchen frowned, then turned his attention back to his book. Xie Xinqi hung upside down on the sofa, doing yoga in an odd position, her long hair like clouds, draping to the floor. “Bro, put your glasses back on, let me see.”

“Why?”

“You look handsome with glasses… and then I wonder what Su Jiannian looks like with glasses.”

Recently, “Su Jiannian” had almost become her catchphrase. Xie Xiuchen didn’t look at her: “If he’s not replying to your messages, then there’s definitely more than one woman around him.”

“But… I’m not that bad, am I?” Xie Xinqi flipped over, “By the way, bro, I just did a psychological test, and I think it’s really accurate. The question was: when you see these things, who do you think of? Most of the words were meteorological terms. When I saw ‘snow,’ I thought of Su Jiannian. Do you know the answer? The person you think of when you see ‘snow’ is someone ‘who might become your lover if you were a bit more proactive!’”

Xie Xuchen obviously ignored her. She cupped her face and said to herself, “And then I saw ‘sky.’ Do you know who I thought of?”

“Me.”

“Huh? How did you know?”

“Because now you need to flatter me so you can say, ‘Brother, what should I do?’ trying to get me to give you some advice.”

While mimicking her tone, he deliberately blinked his eyes quickly, like a Barbie doll. She was defeated, just like her. Since her little trick was exposed, she stopped hiding it and said the line she had prepared: “You’re right, ‘sky’ is really you. Do you know what the answer for ‘sky’ is?”

Seeing that he stayed silent, she deliberately paused and then said, “It’s ‘the ideal person in the heart.’”

Xie Xuchen still didn’t react, just lowered his head and looked at his book, frozen in place, though with a slight difference from earlier. She ran over to him and shook his arm. “Brother, look, I pick boyfriends according to your standards. The most handsome brother in the world. I don’t know why, but every time I meet Su Jiannian, I can’t do anything. So now, I’m afraid to act rashly. Can you help me think of a way?”

He looked up and smiled, patting her hand. “You should go to bed.”

“Oh, right. Since you’re like the sky, what do you think resembles me? Meteorological terms, okay?”

He thought seriously for a few seconds. “I don’t know. My imagination isn’t as rich as yours.”

“So hard to think? What about the moon? Quiet and pure, that sort of feeling.”

“Definitely not the moon.”

“Then what about something like a spring? Calm and fresh?” Seeing him shake his head thoughtfully, she grew more curious. “Then just tell me! You must give an answer.”

He thought for a while and finally came up with an accurate term. “Tide.”

She frowned, not satisfied with this unromantic answer. “Why does that sound so terrifying? Can’t you give a more elegant answer? Can you change it?”

“Typhoon.”

“...”

“Still no?”

“No.”

“Then how about a sandstorm?”

“...”

“Then an earthquake?”

“... It’s a meteorological term, not a disaster term.”

He was stumped and thought hard for a long time. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. “Oh, I got it. Smog.”

“Smog?! I treat you like my sky, and you’re calling me smog and sandstorms!” She grumbled and scratched at him. He was extremely ticklish and shrunk his neck away, laughing like a child, as if his skin were glowing. “Well, it’s perfect, isn’t it? Because of sandstorms and smog, the pure, blue sky is turned black. Xinqi, that’s the fate of being your brother.”

“Fate, my foot!”

They playfully tussled for a while, and Xie Xinqi felt a bit tired. She yawned. “I’m sleepy... I don’t want to sleep alone. Can you put me to sleep like when we were little?”

He sighed, not saying a word, picked up a book, and stood up to walk her back to her bedroom. He sat in a chair, opened the book in his hand. “Go take a shower. I’ll wait here for you.”

“Got it.”

She lazily walked to the wardrobe, directly took off her stockings, and threw them on the floor. She felt something was off nearby. Xie Xuchen looked up at her for a moment, but froze—she was wearing only a black bra, facing away from him, and was now rummaging through drawers looking for a nightgown. After looking for a while, it seemed like the bra itself was uncomfortable for her, so she unbuttoned the front and let it hang loosely. For a moment, he felt a buzzing in his mind, unable to think clearly. Xie Xinqi then turned around, holding a towel and pajamas, just in time to cover her chest. She casually smiled at him, “I’ll be quick, wait for me here.”

She paid close attention to his reaction. Even though they were family, he should avoid this kind of situation, right? But he didn’t leave, just nodded at her as if nothing had happened and continued looking down at his book. Finally, she was sure: her brother was definitely gay. His reaction to seeing her in little clothes was just like all her gay friends: no embarrassment, no avoiding eye contact, just looking at her. Although she felt a bit regretful that her brother couldn’t carry on the family name, she was secretly happy. Because having a gay brother meant she had both a brother and a sister. Of course, she didn’t know that the reason Xie Xuchen didn’t speak was that his mind had short-circuited. After she went to the bathroom, he rubbed his forehead, unable to digest the words in his book, his mind filled with what just happened. He had always thought Xie Xinqi’s body was flat because she liked to wear padding in her clothes. But the truth wasn’t like that...

“Xinqi, what exactly are you doing...” he mumbled to himself, feeling utterly confused.

But the nightmare didn’t end there. After taking a shower, Xie Xinqi returned to the bedroom, her long wet hair dripping. She was now wearing a semi-transparent dark red silk nightgown. Seeing this, Xie Xuchen was once again shaken. But she just jumped onto the bed, curled up under the covers with an innocent, expectant look in her eyes, patting the pillow. “Brother, come here.”

He hesitated for a few seconds, then, unable to resist her second request, put down his book and lay beside her. She poked her head out from under the blanket, her face bare, still as fresh as when she was a child, though her cheeks had slimmed down a little, giving her a more feminine touch. She lifted the blanket and wrapped him up, snuggling in his arms.

The night was a dreamless, peaceful sleep. Only a gentle breeze moved the roses on the windowsill, causing their petals and dewdrops to sparkle and dance. The soft light, the childhood sweethearts, in his eyes, this scene was like something from an old movie. The male lead embraced the female lead, doing nothing but stroking her hair, saying, “I love you, endlessly.” The female lead smiled sweetly and kissed his palm, saying, “I love you too.” But at this moment, all he could do was stroke her forehead and say, “Rest early. Sweet dreams.” He then withdrew his hand, not wanting to linger on her skin. But she caught his hand, sniffed it gently, and in a soft voice, said, “From childhood to now, your scent has never changed, it’s sweet like a girl’s.” She then opened his palm and kissed it. A powerful electric current shot up from his palm, numbing his nerves.

Xie Huian couldn’t fathom it. Could this really be happening? He could take that final step forward. She’d said he was her everything... Now, they were mere inches apart. With just a little more... He glanced at her lips, his breath hitching.

Having kissed his palm, Xie Xinqi smiled and pressed his hand to her cheek. She knew her brother was under immense pressure. Their parents were traditional and strict, and as the sole heir to the Xie family, they would never allow him to come out. But she could at least support him, help him strategize – like finding a female partner for a same-sex marriage or encouraging him and his boyfriend to get married abroad. But before that, he had to confess to her. And she had to let him know that she respected him, whether he loved men or women. With unprecedented tenderness in her eyes, she said, “Brother, I love you. So no matter what happens, I’ll always be the first to...”

Before she could finish, her lips were claimed by his.

Time and heartbeat seemed to pause simultaneously. Xie Xinqi’s eyes widened in shock, unable to react. Then, like a wildfire, his kiss aggressively invaded her lips. He sucked on her lips, his breath hot, burning her skin. Overwhelmed, she couldn’t resist and even accidentally allowed his tongue into her mouth... Finally, she moaned and pushed him away abruptly, sitting up on the bed. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”

He sat up as well, looking at her with an interrogative gaze. Compared to her incoherent words, he was surprisingly calm. “What do you mean?”

“...You’re not gay?”

It was a revelation. His heart turned cold instantly, but he didn’t let it show, instead flashing his signature smile. “I knew you were up to something, and I’ve already told you not to meddle in my private life. Happy now?”

Outside, the moonlight was cold and lonely, casting a solitary shadow across the island road. The stars pulsed like second hands, their silver light soaking into the dewy bodies. Even though it was a warm May, Xie Xinqi felt freezing cold, the once-fiery little wildcat transformed into a helpless lamb. She pulled the blanket over herself and cried, her face buried in the pillow, “I was just worried about you, how can you do this?”

So, this was the end result. Too much love could only hurt her. He pushed the blanket aside, got out of bed, and turned to leave. “If you dare to guess that I’m gay again, next time the punishment...” He smiled without saying anything.

“Wait.”

He stopped but didn’t turn around. She was impulsive and now highly agitated, her voice trembling as if she were about to cry. “Brother, don’t you think you’re going too far? Okay, I’m your sister, I don’t have the right to lecture you like you lecture me, and I have no right to interfere in your love life. I was just overthinking things and misunderstood you. I admit it’s my fault. You can hit me, scold me, I won’t hold it against you. But you’re my brother, doing something like this, do you think it’s appropriate? Do you think this kind of punishment will do any good?”

“I’ve tried other methods to discipline you. Did they work?”

“Even if they didn’t, you can’t do this! By doing this, do you want me to feel dirty...” Her muffled sobs were swallowed up by the blanket.

He didn’t want to hear anything more. He didn’t want to experience this feeling of anger and heartache again. He turned and left without looking back. For the first time in over twenty years, he left her alone to cry.