Chapter 48

She gradually set down her phone, only then realizing her whole body was trembling. She climbed into bed, tightly wrapping herself in the blanket. She bit down on her hand and took deep, steady breaths for a long time until the trembling finally subsided.

She picked up her phone again.

It turned out she wasn’t dreaming.

Xitang felt as though she had found an ally.

Though perhaps not exactly an ally—someone hidden in the shadows, whose identity was unknown, whose intentions were uncertain, friend or foe.

At the very least, someone still remembered Zhong Qiao.

“If this person is real, at least someone else is also lost in the same past as she is. She isn’t completely alone.”

She sat on the bed, holding her head in her hands, carefully going over everything. Her first suspicion was that Gao Jiyi was behind this. It wasn’t impossible that he’d try to mess with her or stop her, but the letter Zhong Qiao left her was passed through an absolutely secure channel—delivered by Liao Shuru and handed to her directly by Ni Kailun. Besides, Xitang knew people like Gao Jiyi too well. A man like him, just like Zhao Pingjin, didn’t take her seriously at all. If he truly wanted to deal with her, he wouldn’t bother with such petty tricks as sending an anonymous text. If it wasn’t Gao Jiyi—then who could it be? 

Lu Xiaojiang? He’d helped her investigate some accounts, but he wouldn’t do anything to harm Gao Jiyi. Liao Shuru? No, Shuru wouldn’t send anonymous messages. Someone who knew Qiao and also had her phone number—who was this person?

Xitang went through everyone she knew one by one. Everyone seemed suspicious, yet no one was certain. All day today, she kept glancing at her phone, but the other party didn’t send another message.

Zhao Pingjin glanced at Huang Xitang again. She seemed completely disengaged from their conversation, barely touching the soup in front of her. She’d been absent-minded all evening.

Zhao Pingjin lightly tapped the table near her. “Stop zoning out. Eat.”

Just then, the lazy Susan turned, and Xitang, hearing his words, obediently reached out, scooped a spoonful from a dish that stopped in front of her, and was about to put it into her mouth.

Zhao Pingjin suddenly reached out and grabbed her wrist.

Xitang looked down—it was half a spoonful of corn covered in egg whites, something she was allergic to. Embarrassed, she smiled awkwardly and put the spoon down.

Zhao Pingjin frowned at her and lowered his voice. “Pay attention while eating. Don’t let your mind wander.”

After the meal, the men moved to the living room to drink tea and chat. Normally, they’d light up cigarettes after meals, but since Fang Langming had just announced his happy news, no one wanted to ruin the atmosphere. Qingqing, understanding this, took the opportunity to pull Xitang aside. She’d noticed Xitang’s gloominess all evening. “Let the men chat. Let’s go down to the mall for a bit. Will you come with me?”

Xitang wanted some air and immediately nodded.

Jiang Songxue chimed in, “Sure, I’ll come too.”

The men saw them out. At the door, Fang Langming said to Qingqing, “Be careful as you walk. We’ll stay upstairs for a bit—call me when you’re done.”

Qingqing held onto Xitang’s arm as they slowly descended to the luxurious mall on the ground floor. As soon as Jiang Songxue stepped out of the elevator, she put on a pair of dark sunglasses.

Qingqing started looking at baby supplies and enthusiastically bought a pile of items. Xitang helped carry them, and Qingqing said, “I’ll call Langming to come down and carry these.”

The two of them moved along and eventually wandered into a jewelry counter on the third floor. Jiang Songxue waved them over to look.

Qingqing, still in high spirits, said, “Let’s take a look too.”

The three women browsed together. Xitang noticed a watch at one of the counters. It wasn’t from a major brand but was priced at over 100,000 yuan.

Qingqing immediately encouraged her, “If you like it, try it on.”

The salesperson, recognizing them as VIPs, was eager to assist and carefully brought the watch out.

Xitang extended her wrist.

She had a good eye for things. Her slender wrist rested on the black velvet, making the platinum band and the tiny diamonds sparkle, enhancing both the beauty of her wrist and the watch.

Qingqing exclaimed in delight, “Xitang, it’s so pretty! You should buy it.”

Xitang smiled and shook her head.

She removed the watch without lingering and walked away quickly. Quietly, she told Qingqing, “I can’t afford it with my current income.”

Jiang Songxue, who had been watching from the side, followed behind them and overheard. She exclaimed in surprise, “Wow, Xitang, you’re such a big-name star, and you can’t afford a 100,000 yuan watch? I heard your fees are super high—don’t you make tens of thousands per episode?”

The salesperson at the jewelry counter immediately looked up, glancing at them.

Xitang’s face flushed bright red.

Nearby shoppers overheard and turned to look. Some even whispered excitedly to one another.

The men upstairs came down at that moment, stepping out of the elevator as the scene unfolded. Qingqing quickly pulled Xitang away from the counter, hurrying toward them. Zhao Pingjin caught sight of this and strode over, his voice low as he asked Xitang, “Did you see something you liked?”

Xitang tried to leave.

Zhao Pingjin called after her, “Huang Xitang.”

People nearby had already started taking out their phones to snap pictures. Xitang’s face grew even redder as she lowered her head.

Zhao Pingjin stepped in front of her, shielding her from view. Turning to Jiang Songxue, he frowned darkly and lowered his voice. “Try messing with her again and see what happens.”

Taking Xitang’s hand, he turned and walked away.

Jiang Songxue adjusted her sunglasses with a feigned innocent expression. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… she’s so famous already…”

Back at home, Zhao Pingjin took a call from his assistant, issuing work instructions as he loosened his tie. After hanging up, he began to lose his temper. “I finally get it. I must not be paying you enough. Out there letting people look down on you—aren’t you just embarrassing me?”

Xitang ignored his outburst. “Who’s looking down on me? Let her say whatever she wants.”

Zhao Pingjin threw his phone and bag onto the couch in frustration. “You let people humiliate you over such a small amount of money—are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?”

Xitang turned to him, exasperated by his spoiled temper. “Who am I embarrassing? Just because I didn’t buy something? Do you think everyone in Beijing can afford things like that? Can you please be reasonable?”

Zhao Pingjin glared at her. “Huang Xitang, you’ve got quite a temper—daring to act tough with me. Have I mistreated you? You call yourself a big star, living large and spending money, but you’re so stingy. What were you even trying to buy?”

Xitang snapped back, “Yes, I’m reluctant to spend! My agent is saving for me, is that okay? I want to buy a house in Shanghai for my mom and me to live in!”

Zhao Pingjin froze for a moment, rendered speechless.

The next morning, Xitang got up late. She hadn’t slept well the night before and had lingered in bed. By the time she woke up again, it was already past eleven. Climbing out of bed groggily, she noticed the watch from the jewelry store sitting on her vanity.

The watch came in a pure black wooden box. She opened it to see the sparkling brilliance of the watch resting on velvet.

Xitang knocked on the study door.

Zhao Pingjin was inside working on his computer. When he saw her approach, he lifted his head.

Xitang softly said, “Thank you.”

Zhao Pingjin turned his head away, ignoring her thanks. Instead, he said directly, “I’m hungry.”

Xitang went to the kitchen, toasted some bread, and heated milk to bring to the study.

After finishing his work, Zhao Pingjin emerged and saw her sitting on the sofa, a script on her lap. However, she wasn’t reading it, looking instead like she was lost in thought.

Passing by her, Zhao Pingjin asked, “Something on your mind lately?”

Startled from her reverie, Xitang paused, then shook her head. “No.”

Zhao Pingjin scrutinized her. He hadn’t seen much of her lately because of his busy schedule. She must have been worn out from filming. Xitang’s usually radiant, fair skin now appeared sallow and tired. Silently, Zhao clenched his fists, placed a glass of water on the side of the sofa, and sat down next to her. Glancing sideways at her, he said, “You’ve been looking puffed up lately, like a balloon.”

Xitang smiled good-naturedly at his remark. “The catering on set is good; I’ve been eating too much.”

Zhao Pingjin continued, “You’re always either gaining or losing weight suddenly. That’s no way to live.”

“It’s the nature of my work,” she replied. She had kept her role as the princess in the drama close to her heart. Yin Nan, her co-star, once told her that an actor must not only learn to immerse themselves in a role but also to step out of it. However, she found this incredibly challenging. For a while, her role involved emotionally grueling scenes, crying daily in front of the camera. Even back at her hotel, she’d cry at night.

Her recent scenes required her character to be pregnant, so the director had asked her to gain weight. Xitang, already struggling with insomnia, forced herself to eat several meals a day, even indulging in late-night cheesecake. The puffiness and weight gain made her pregnancy portrayal look utterly convincing on screen.

When Ni Kailun visited her on set, his first comment was, “Why have you gained so much weight?”

Xiao Ning, her assistant, explained, “She’s filming pregnancy scenes. The director asked her to gain weight.”

Ni Kailun disapproved, “Most actresses just layer their clothing to appear heavier. Why would you sacrifice your figure? Be careful—you might have loose skin when you lose the weight.”

He then instructed Xiao Ning, “Stop letting her eat so much.”

Zhao Pingjin saw her zoning out again and casually remarked, “If you’re feeling unhappy, use my card to buy something.”

Xitang politely responded, “Alright.”

Zhao Pingjin knew she was being deferential. Lately, she had been agreeable about everything, maintaining a distant, courteous demeanor. She never shared her inner thoughts with him anymore. The rift between them ran too deep. Even the card he had given her, which tracked all transactions on his phone, had never been used.

After lunch, Xitang started packing her things to return to the set.

She glanced at Zhao Pingjin as he lounged on the sofa, sipping water, oblivious to her watching him. Her heart began to beat faster.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she casually asked, “I have my last scene tomorrow morning at Songzhuang, and it involves horseback riding. Do you want to come and watch?”

Zhao Pingjin looked puzzled. “Didn’t you just wrap up filming a few days ago?”

Xitang maintained her composure, answering smoothly, “That was just the media event. Director Feng is very meticulous. We’ve been rushing to finish this extra scene.”

Zhao Pingjin asked offhandedly, “Your grip is weak. How are you going to ride a horse?”

Xitang managed to suppress any visible reaction, maintaining a natural tone as she replied, “There’s a stunt double for the riding shots.”

“But what about the close-ups of your face?”

“Some parts require me to ride myself.”

Zhao Pingjin paused for a few seconds before asking, “What time?”

Xitang thought for a moment and answered, “We leave the city at six in the morning. The scene will likely start around eleven.”

Zhao Pingjin looked at the petite figure crouched by the sofa, packing her makeup bag. She was so different from the other actresses he had dated. Huang Xitang never flaunted him to others. In fact, she tried to avoid drawing attention to their relationship. Even though she had been in Beijing working for over three months, she had never asked him to visit her on set.

It reminded him of her early years in college, when she had just started acting. Back then, he often visited her on set. During one summer, while she was filming at the Duan Qirui Government Headquarters in Tie Shizi Alley, he would use his lunch break to bring her meals. Often, she was still working when he arrived. The repetitive nature of filming could be tiresome—shooting the same scene over and over again. Yet, both of them were young and in love, finding it all novel and delightful. Zhao Pingjin would watch her from the shade of a tree as she ran around in a white dress and two braided pigtails, her slim figure glowing in the sunlight. Her smile was as radiant as the spring sunshine, filling him with endless affection.

After their breakup, he had grown to despise film sets. The discomfort of filming conditions—sweltering in summer, freezing in winter—disgusted him. Now that this drama was almost finished, it was the first time Huang Xitang had invited him to visit. Checking his phone, Zhao Pingjin glanced at his schedule for the next day. “I’ll come by after you’ve started filming.”

Xitang pursed her lips and smiled faintly, as if she were just a little bit happy. She picked up her bag and said, “I’m heading back to work.”

Zhao Pingjin, lounging lazily on the sofa, said, “Come here.”

Xitang obediently walked over. Zhao Pingjin wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his embrace. He held her close for a long moment, as if reluctant to let go. Finally, he kissed her hair and said, “Go on.”

As the car drove out onto Jianguomen Outer Street, Xitang leaned back against the seat in the rear. It was Zhao Pingjin’s car, carrying his scent. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew that every time she saw him, it would be one time less.