40. If that’s what you want so much.

A fragrant scent wafted from her hair.

To suppress the surging desire, Soo-hyun bit his lip. And pressing down on his boiling chest, he asked quietly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. When you said we’d use separate rooms, I thought it meant we wouldn’t sleep together.”

“I know.”

Hae-in nodded, saying she understood, but slowly began to take off Soo-hyun’s coat. And she said in a whisper, as if murmuring.

“......I know.”

Soo-hyun suddenly noticed that her hand, gripping his shirt collar, was trembling.

“I know everything, but......”

Hae-in, who had been trailing off, raised her head and looked up at Soo-hyun. Hae-in’s lips, looking up at him, were red. They were lips he wanted to hold endlessly, like red flower petals holding water.

However, unlike her face, which evoked lust, her teary eyes were strange. Soo-hyun grabbed Hae-in’s arms, which were trying to unbutton his shirt, and moved her away.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, nothing’s wrong.”

Hae-in, with her arms still held, stubbornly grabbed at Soo-hyun’s shirt buttons. Soo-hyun’s hand, holding Hae-in’s arm, shook her body violently.

“Are you ignoring me?”

“It’s not that.”

Hae-in seemed to know that she was making an unreasonable demand that wouldn’t work. The fingertips that had been brushing against the buttons soon fell down powerlessly.

“......Could you just hug me without pretending not to know?”

Hae-in’s expression, with her head down, was unreadable. However, her trembling was conveyed through Soo-hyun’s hand, which was holding her arm. Her slender shoulders were trembling finely.

“You need to tell me what’s wrong so I know. What’s going to be solved by just asking for a hug and crying?”

Contrary to his intentions, harsh words continued to come out. Hae-in listened silently to Soo-hyun’s words without raising her head. Soo-hyun grabbed Hae-in’s chin and forcibly lifted her face.

“......”

Looking at her tightly closed lips, it seemed she was swallowing her tears. Her eyes, as well as her cheeks, were already stained with tears, and tears were welling up at the tip of her chin.

What made you cry so much again? What are you so upset about?

Her face, which he finally met, looked so sad that Soo-hyun couldn’t continue speaking and released her chin.

“...Sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Hae-in covered her nearly naked chest with her arms and repeatedly apologized. Listening to her apologize while forcibly swallowing her tears, his heart felt stifling, as if it were burning.

“Was that all you had to say today?”

Even though he wasn’t angry at her, his tone gradually became sharper due to the frustrating situation. At Soo-hyun’s questioning, Hae-in shook her head from side to side and opened her mouth.

“......I wanted to ask you to hug me.”

After barely throwing out those words, she took a step back and continued.

“Who would want to hug a crying woman......”

A drop of tear that had welled up at the tip of her chin fell onto Hae-in’s chest.

“Damn it. You need to tell me what’s wrong! If you’re going to be so frustrating, let’s end it here.”

Soo-hyun couldn’t stand the frustration and burst out in anger. He couldn’t help but get angry when Hae-in made a sad face. It reminded him of his own incompetence in failing to protect her from having such a face.

Even after he got so angry, there was no answer, so Soo-hyun clicked his tongue and let out a short, loud sigh.

“Ha.”

Unable to bear seeing Hae-in only dropping tears on his feet, he turned away. Then, suddenly, Hae-in ran up from behind and hugged Soo-hyun’s waist.

“Sunbae...... I want to get pregnant.”

“What is this now?”

As he tried to pull away Hae-in’s arms, which were wrapped around his waist, she clung to him from behind, crying.

“My brother is sick. The chairman said he won’t give him any medicine or money for treatment.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. Sunbae. I’m really sorry.”

“Ha.”

“No matter what happens, can you hug me since I’ll take responsibility for everything?”

“What can you take responsibility for?”

At Hae-in’s words, Soo-hyun turned around with a serious expression. He faced her tear-stained face again. It was even more of a mess than before.

It wasn’t just him who felt incompetent.

Hae-in’s eyes, looking at Soo-hyun, also contained utter despair and sadness.

What was Hae-in thinking when she prepared the revealing lingerie herself? Did she expect that her husband, who had been so cold and distant, would hug her today?

And when she was rejected in that outfit, she must have felt miserable.

‘But still, you clung to me.’

Soo-hyun’s heart was complicated as he looked at Hae-in.

When he tried to understand her feelings, he felt disgusted by his own bad behavior, and her tearful eyes caught his feet, making it impossible to ignore her.

‘Is this how you’re destined to live, like prey struggling while waiting to die?’

Chairman Park, who was naturally losing his strength as he aged, became more vicious as the days went by. He was like a demon who fed on tormenting people.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know this would happen. That’s why he wanted to push Hae-in away from this family, this hellish place, as quickly as possible.

Hae-in, who didn’t know what Soo-hyun was thinking, repeated the same words in front of him.

“Sunbae, I’m sorry. I feel like I’m interfering with sunbae’s life...... I’m sorry.”

“If you know, why don’t you just quit now?”

Knowing she wouldn’t accept, Soo-hyun expressed his wish. Unlike him, Hae-in clearly valued her family more than her own life. It was a feeling that Soo-hyun couldn’t understand.

Family, what’s so special about them?

“......If you quit, I’ll take responsibility for your brother somehow.”

“How will sunbae do that?”

Hae-in, looking at him, was full of distrust. It was only natural, considering he hadn’t done anything to give her trust in the past. It was a marital relationship that hadn’t built trust, let alone intimacy.

“We’re still a couple, even though things have turned out this way. So, how about trusting your former husband for once?”

“How can I trust someone who told me to abandon my family......”

As soon as Hae-in’s words fell, Soo-hyun sighed deeply. He didn’t think Hae-in would believe anything he said now. Hae-in, watching Soo-hyun only sighing repeatedly, slowly opened her mouth.

“......I wanted to become sunbae’s family.”

Whatever her intention was, Hae-in’s words touched Soo-hyun’s nerves. Soo-hyun saw Hae-in as a fool who believed that she could make the world beautiful with a pure heart, without knowing the other person’s heart at all.

“Family? You don’t know anything about me, so what are you talking about wanting to be family?”

“We’re family now, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, family. Fake family.”

Soo-hyun, who had been refuting Hae-in’s words, raised his voice and continued.

“Don’t you know what it means for you to get pregnant? Once you have a child, you create a bond that you can’t break for life. Do you want to do that with someone like me?”

“......”

“No, not just me, but you’ll be family with Chairman Park, that monster. Is that what you want? Your top priority is money to save your family. Do you not care at all because you think of your child as just a means?”

“No. That’s absolutely not true!”

“What’s the difference between you and Chairman Park? Using your child as a means, you look the same to me.”

“That’s not true. Do I look like that kind of person to you, sunbae?”

“I don’t care what kind of person you are. I have no intention of making a child.”

“At least tell me why.”

“Why don’t you know? I don’t want to see the cursed bloodline passed down to my child.”

“Ah......”

Hae-in’s surprised eyes searched him. Soo-hyun smiled bitterly and laughed helplessly.

“You don’t know. What it feels like to know that the person I resemble most is the person I hate most.”

“Sunbae, you don’t resemble him. Don’t think like that.”

“Don’t bother with useless comfort. It won’t convince me, so don’t even try. I know myself better than anyone.”

An unwavering judgment and excellent management skills, showing no sentimentality in business.

These were the words of praise Soo-hyun had heard throughout his time in the family business. And at the same time, the words that he resembled Chairman Park in his prime always followed.

It was a talent that his father, Tae-hoon, didn’t have.

If he resembled any of the elders in the family, it was Park Yoon-hwa. Soo-hyun was reminded of the fact that Park Yoon-hwa’s blood flowed through him every time he did well. It was a terrible feeling.

Soo-hyun secretly resolved to use his excellent management skills, if he resembled Park Yoon-hwa, to devour Taesung and then tear it apart again, erasing its name from this land as if it had never existed.

It was revenge for what Chairman Park had built over his entire life.

After achieving all that, he planned to end his own life.

‘Ha...... And now you’re stopping me.’

Hae-in stood there in a daze, her eyes unfocused and dull, as if she was shocked by what Soo-hyun had just said. A cold wind blew through Soo-hyun’s chest as he looked at her.

‘This too, it’s my fault for having feelings for you. I should have never had any feelings for anyone.’

Soo-hyun recalled the first time he encountered Hae-in on campus a long time ago.

How dazzling her smile was that day, how brightly she was smiling.

That smile caught his eye so much that he turned back once, then twice, and then just stood there watching until she disappeared.

And he couldn’t forget her after that day. That figure disappearing into the sunlight.

‘It’s my responsibility. For making you like this. So......’

Many thoughts swirled in his mind, but only one thing calmed them down. If he couldn’t solve her misfortune right now, he had to take at least minimal responsibility.

Soo-hyun walked to the bed and sat on the edge.

“I’ll hug you. If that’s what you want so much.”

Hae-in’s gaze, which had been staring blankly into the air, returned to Soo-hyun.

“Come here.”

Soo-hyun reached out and pulled Hae-in, who was standing in front of him, towards him. And he slowly raised his hand and embraced her.

And he lightly kissed her intimate skin that he knew well, that he was already familiar with. As his lips touched the thin lace and straps, Hae-in flinched and trembled finely.