Chapter 85

Don’t give this man the stethoscope!

In Guan Xingxin’s impression, men were like perfumes, with different scents bringing different life circumstances. But the first time she hugged Yu Dule, what she felt wasn’t the fragrance of gardenias, but the scent of a sweater—Yu Dule rarely wore sweaters, and this one was sea blue mohair, a little prickly. That night, she discovered a secret: whenever it rained heavily, Yu Dule would stay in her living room for a long time, actually because he was afraid of thunder. As the sweater brushed against her nose, she smelled the damp scent of rain, like the sea—she had always been fascinated by the scent of the ocean.

In that moment of the hug, Yu Dule clearly hadn’t expected it and wasn’t pleased, but she couldn’t care less. When she was anxious and wanted to hold onto something, she couldn’t help but act on impulse, just like now. Grabbing Yu Dule’s hand wasn’t that difficult, and if he rejected her, she would kneel and beg him, and he would always soften.

But there was an obstacle between them, and various misunderstandings piled up into a beautiful mess, creating a whole landscape. Once they reached the rooftop, she didn’t care about making the scene look perfect, nor about ruining her makeup or clothes. She just hugged Yu Dule tightly, her tears soaking his suit. “Dule, I love you. Give me another chance. No one is perfect. I’ve made many foolish mistakes, I wasn’t decisive enough, but now I’m absolutely sincere...”

“I just reviewed the footage from a few days ago,” Yu Dule’s voice was muffled. “How can you kiss someone else in the kitchen and still greedily try to hold onto me?”

“It’s not like that...”

“You want to say that those were just your way of making money and establishing yourself, right?” Yu Dule clenched his fists in the dark.

“This is my shortcut, but I followed the script. In the end, I didn’t end up with anyone. Yu Dule, I promise you, I only love you now. Everything I did was for you.”

“No need,” Yu Dule took a step back. “It doesn’t need to be so noble. I’m not worth you doing this. Is it that hard to admit you’re doing this for yourself?”

He pulled his hand away from Guan Xingxin’s, striding out of the venue. A spot on his back was wet, as if his body had opened up a gap, and the cold air kept seeping in. He went straight to the control room, turned on the air conditioner, and immediately opened the latest footage from the cloud. Guan Xingxin had rejected the male guest, openly admitting that she hadn’t found anyone she liked on the show, but was grateful for the experience of the shared house. The guests bid each other farewell at the airport, and Guan Xingxin stayed behind, returning to her familiar self—unwilling to engage with strangers, almost avoiding the crowd, only occasionally waving and flashing a smile. She had stuck to the initial script of the variety show, not getting involved with anyone. When they first met, she had also said, somewhat lonely, that she was tired of humans and did things to distance herself from people…

Yu Dule fumbled with the cigarette pack, but no matter how he tried, he couldn’t light the cigarette. A colleague, seeing Yu Dule, found it strange. “Senior, you’re holding the cigarette the wrong way.”

Gu Yi had stayed in her rented apartment for three days, unable to bear Liang Daiwen’s harassment. His tactics were indeed sly, with the cameras outside her door often emitting sounds: “Ms. Gu, it’s time to get up,” “Ms. Gu, it’s bedtime,” “Ms. Gu, are you home?”

It was just a few words each day, but they made Gu Yi feel socially dead, unable to escape. The neighbor next door, who lived with three generations, simply didn’t understand: “Little girl, can you take down that camera? My grandson thought he ran into a ghost in the middle of the night. What’s with the strange noises?”

Liang Daiwen didn’t argue. “There are plenty of rooms in my place; why not work there instead of going back to yours?”

“Just admit it, you’re clingy. Don’t make excuses.” After sending the message, Gu Yi couldn’t help but smile. Her previous girlfriend had broken up with Liang Daiwen because he was emotionally detached. A man with no emotions has no desires for his partner; while a robot with feelings wants to keep the person close, needing to see them every day to feel at ease. Those dry flowers and dog food might be the earliest clues of his attachment—she had noticed it first.

Liang Daiwen, answering the unrelated question, only responded: “Doctor Shen is back. Do you want to go to his place?”

Doctor Shen’s newly rented apartment faced the shopping district, with traffic flowing below. From amidst a pile of cardboard boxes, he popped his head out, as proud as ever: “I knew you’d be causing trouble. I know you’re happy, but don’t bully this single dog, alright?”

“I came to help you clean up, stop talking so much.”

“Did you hear that? This idiot never used to waste time on friends. He’d only come to me when he was really sick. So self-interested. Now that you’re so considerate, it’s actually a bit uncomfortable.”

“Because I realized everyone has their struggles. Once you start paying attention, you’ll see how often people are under pressure—from relatives, friends, lovers, even themselves… there are always unreasonable expectations. Our hearts need rest, but they’re constantly urged to stay alert, which makes us anxious. Over time, adults can’t be 100% honest; everyone has their own protective shields, and encounters are a clash of those shields. I’m no longer troubled by these emotions. I’ve slowed down and can feel things like ‘human warmth’…”

Doctor Shen pointed at Gu Yi. “You’ve got some skills.”

As they packed, they talked about developments after returning to the country. Gu Yi opened a miscellaneous box and found a photo frame. There was a picture with Doctor Shen and three other men, each with their own advantages. Doctor Shen stood next to them like a little brother, with the caption “Laboratory F4.” According to what he’d said on the phone, Doctor Shen was willing to bet and lose, agreeing to do some psychology popularization work in his spare time. But he seemed obsessed with the system and didn’t want to just stay in a psychological counseling center. He wanted to work in a hospital. According to his words, senior doctors in hospitals always enticed him to dive deeper into research. Being a psychologist was fine, but medical professionals who aren’t interested in research are fake. He couldn’t stray too far from that path, so he wanted to give it a try.

This was different from the Doctor Shen Gu Yi had known before. The man was indeed strange, pretending to be superficial, loving to gamble to push himself into decisions. In reality, because his peers were too excellent, he wouldn’t admit defeat and had a hidden competitive streak. On the other hand, Liang Daiwen was straightforward, still talking with Doctor Shen about the hospital’s app, which had many issues. The accessibility version hadn’t been updated for a long time, and it was full of lag. This was an inevitable flaw in creating both normal and accessibility versions. The large font version was simply a way to cut corners… Liang Daiwen’s hands trembled as he tore apart the box: “When innovation can solve significant problems for people with disabilities, isn’t it like unlocking a potential hazard that everyone might encounter? This is a business opportunity. You see, when you carry a large box that blocks your view, you’re half-blind too. Wouldn’t you always use an elevator instead of the stairs? Is the accessible elevator really only for the blind and those with limited mobility?”

Doctor Shen, packing the cabinet, threw a screwdriver at Gu Yi. “Take him away, he’s so annoying.”

Gu Yi stuck out her tongue, sitting on the floor organizing books. Liang Daiwen, as usual, said little, only talking non-stop when he had someone to converse with. After that, he’d be done, having discharged all his energy. His emotional disability might not improve much, with a 50% improvement. That still sounded regrettable, having only half the perceptiveness of others, but as Doctor Shen said, normal people are no different—they avoid talking about pain and disaster, have unspeakable secrets, and can’t smile genuinely. Emotions gradually become numb, and they stimulate themselves with taboo topics…

When she opened her thoughts, the world seemed cruel and a bit desolate.

Inside one of the big boxes, a person was crouched like a little person. She was focused on reading a psychology book and saw a stethoscope inside the box. She asked, “Doctor Shen, do you still use a stethoscope in psychology counseling?”

“Oh, that,” Doctor Shen said. “That’s from a friend of mine. He had some stuff left behind when he was in the U.S. and didn’t have time to take it. He left it with me. But I don’t think he’s short on stethoscopes. Do you want to take it?”

Liang Daiwen walked over, staring at the stethoscope with a very… strange look. Gu Yi immediately understood—the look was unmistakable, a seasoned one. She pushed Liang Daiwen, trapping him in a corner. She stuck the earpieces in her ears and placed the stethoscope on his chest. “Patient, your heart rate is irregular.”

“Is that so? I think you’re not very professional, that’s not how you listen,” Liang Daiwen took the stethoscope, put it on in a showy manner, then pulled out Gu Yi’s doll shirt from her waistband, and guided the chest piece to her chest, causing Gu Yi to let out a startled cry as the cool touch met her skin. The sensation was soft, and Liang Daiwen could obviously feel it too, a mischievous smile playing on his face. “Left atrium, right atrium, left ventricle, right ventricle, let’s check them all.”

The chest piece had already moved inside her underwear. She hurriedly pressed Liang Daiwen’s hand, lowering her voice, “Don’t mess around here!”

But his hand made it clear he had no intention of stopping. His fingers pinched the chest piece, moving it to a sensitive spot, feeling the protrusion before moving away, only to return a few moments later, making her feel uncomfortable, unable to make a sound, her expression caught between rejection and desire, her breath irregular. If this were at home, she would have wanted to rush to the bedroom, her body burning with unexplainable lust that couldn’t be satisfied. The man opposite her was truly wicked...

In the distance, someone cleared their throat harshly. “Heavens, what sin have I committed, asking you to organize things? Take the stethoscope with you. How about I book you a room?”

Liang Daiwen stuck his head out, acting all righteous. “What did I do?”

“The earplugs in your ears are for noise-canceling, but I can hear everything from the speaker.”

He coughed a few times, Liang Daiwen’s ears turning red. “Uh... Do you want to go out for dinner?”

The two of them went to Changning to watch Ah Zhi’s stand-up comedy performance. From the elevator to the sixth floor, they passed by a series of film and cultural incubation studios, at the end of which was Ah Zhi’s show. Gu Yi said, “I did a stand-up once here, it was the day I smashed my phone and missed the show, had to buy two new phones. Such a loss.”

“What’s magical about making you miss a show? Why didn’t you perform here, instead of signing with You Wurong?”

“Competitive spirit, damn it.” Gu Yi sat in the front row. “Don’t rush to prove yourself in a field you like. Ah Zhi was a fan of Lao Luo, gained followers when he taught English in the auditorium. He took stand-up as a form of tribute, not caring much about fame. But his jokes are much sharper than mine and Yu Dule’s. Full of energy and passion, plus he looks… well, he has a distinctive look. Some people are just born stand-up comedians.”

Before long, the show began, and Liang Daiwen immediately recognized Ah Zhi—black-rimmed glasses, a long face, a mole on the philtrum, and when he spoke, his downturned brows became apparent. He leaned toward Gu Yi and said, “You’re right, a person who’s unlucky can’t beat someone who’s funny just by looking good.”

Ah Zhi noticed Gu Yi in the audience. There were about thirty people, and his mood seemed quite good. “Hello, everyone, I’m Ah Zhi. Stand-up comedy has really exploded lately. You all managed to find this remote place, proving that Changning District is indeed an education gap, capable of attracting so many idle folks. People with kids can’t come to stand-up, after all, you have to wait outside English, taekwondo, and roller skating classes, not seeking spiritual growth, but peace of mind.”

“I’ve been doing pretty well lately, should be at the peak of my life. Don’t look at me like that, it’s not because I got promoted, made money, or my wife died—hold your expressions, don’t think of me as such a vulgar person. It’s because my wife finally recognized my stand-up career. She’s great, smart, generous, and understanding. You have to know, it’s really hard for stand-up comedians to have girlfriends, especially one who’s willing to marry me. I feel like she’s heaven-sent to help me, forced into it, and if she doesn’t serve me, she won’t be able to return to heaven. But I’ve paid a price for love. My wife likes to make unreasonable demands, like insisting we go walk in the rain in the middle of the night. The rain was like the sky had been cracked open. I said no, that’s too melodramatic. She said, what’s wrong, when you guys do kung fu moves and imitate Bruce Lee’s weird noises, we girls never think you’re idiots, equality for men and women. So, a woman who believes in gender equality can make unreasonable demands in any way. The worst one was when she made me twirl a hula hoop in the square. The square was full of elderly people dancing, all agile, but I was the only one who didn’t get full marks in middle school sports, and was the only one not fit enough to be in the cheerleading team. I was morally coerced: ‘Ah Zhi, if you don’t twirl it today, you don’t love me.’ I had no choice but to pick up the hula hoop and give it a spin on my waist. The scene was like this: thousands of people in the square witnessed a medical science lesson, seeing what happens when people born without screening for Down’s syndrome. Right?” Ah Zhi sighed. “Okay, you all just laugh.”

Gu Yi couldn’t help but laugh out loud, feeling uneasy inside—was she out of practice? Ah Zhi’s jokes were a hundred times funnier than hers. She must have been too focused on work and hadn’t done an open mic in ages! She glanced at Liang Daiwen beside her, the logical man analyzing things seriously, remaining calm. She found it ridiculous. “You’re not laughing?”

“It’s not that, it’s funny.”

“Then laugh!”

“I... I’m shy.”

“Huh?”

“Opening up and laughing in front of all these people, I... I’m not prepared.”

Robots often have unexpected sources of embarrassment, like something as simple as “laughing,” which to him was a personality glitch. Back at home, she set up her iPad and started drawing comics again. Her public account hadn’t been updated in a while. The title was “The Difference Between Humans and Robots is Just That Little Bit in the Amygdala.”

“My boyfriend is a robot, and no, this isn’t a movie, it’s the real deal. He’s more like AI than AI itself, telling you from firsthand experience that idealism meeting reality, a robot boyfriend is basically a horror movie.”

The drawing depicted Liang Daiwen, his features trying but still failing to be recognizable, just a line drawn with “Handsome” beside it.

“Being in a relationship is like coding in his brain, but at least, though it’s just 0s and 1s, he’s still a straight man.”

“He’s often blank because he has no imagination and can’t feel emotions. Medically, this is called ‘alexithymia,’ roughly meaning he can’t understand human emotions. The result is: he speaks bluntly, his mouth sharp, hitting right at the core. When electronics break, he solves them violently, like smashing the remote, tapping the TV, kicking the washing machine… Many times, you’d want to do the same. But this machine is logical and meticulous, especially when it holds a grudge.”

“But he has one good trait—he doesn’t get angry easily. Whether I cut his hair badly, try to make trouble, or make silly mistakes, his first reaction is always to protect me, so when disaster strikes in life, it never feels like the end. He doesn’t hug, but he still reaches out his hand, a little stiff, but you still feel more reassured than with those who easily show kindness.”

The small handwriting beside the drawing added a crooked line: “Because you know he will never leave you.”

“Maybe human nature is born with both coldness and warmth. Some hold their hearts out, overflowing with sincerity, while others, still young, have already lived through a century of wisdom... But if you find someone you want to protect, don’t let go of their hand. The heartbeat hides deep in the chest, but you can sense closeness when touched; the body temperature is only 36 or 37 degrees, but it’s enough to warm a cold heart.”

“If you ask me how the robot modification is going, so far, it’s pretty obedient, so... the modification is successful.”

At the end, a childish smiley face was drawn.

After posting, Gu Yi happily went to take a shower. When she returned, she saw Liang Daiwen grinning while staring at his phone. She felt a little shy: “Don’t look at that public account. Didn’t you say you don’t pry into my privacy?”

“Almost ten thousand views, and you say this is privacy? I think you’re a little weird.”

“...Huh?”

Liang Daiwen pretended to pull out a stethoscope from under the pillow: “Come on, let me check your condition.”

Seeing the stethoscope, Gu Yi took a few steps back but unashamedly swallowed. The man, who had originally been lying on the bed, stood up, placed the stethoscope against his neck: “What are you nervous about? Am I that scary?”

“Don’t come over! When did you bring the stethoscope back? Sneaky, always up to something bad! And why do you always have tricks up your sleeve when it comes to these matters? I’m a proper person, so simple in these things, just hugs and kisses are enough... Don’t come closer!”

He, however, continued to advance with the stethoscope toward her, forcing her toward the corner of the wall. His silk pajamas were buttoned up, but he reached out to undo the collar, his Adam’s apple moving slightly: “Continue.”

“You’re enticing an innocent girl.”

“When you were on top of me, not once did you say that.”

“...”

Doesn’t he feel embarrassed saying such things? Is it that I lack enough courage? The man, who was so close, stood still, as though he had all the time to tease her, like waiting for a breathless patient to ask for a diagnosis. Damn, “Doctor,” with clear veins and knuckles on his arm, eyes filled with teasing. Gu Yi bit her lip. Damn, human hearts are terrifying. What’s “pretending to be weak to deceive the strong”? This is what it looks like. The stethoscope finally came closer to her chest: “Have you tried propping up a pillow? It might feel more comfortable.”

“Where to prop it?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”

“...”

The stethoscope was almost touching her chest through the nightgown when the phone rang. Gu Yi stared at her phone, out of breath—who was interrupting at this moment?

“Do you want to sell your public account to me? I’ll offer 300,000, and the articles and illustrations are extra.” Jacqueline, a true workaholic, was still eyeing her illustrations—but could it be during the day? It had been so long since she quit!

She threw the phone and turned around: “Continue.”

But Jacqueline seemed to have seen “The other party is typing” and assumed she saw the message. She started sending voice calls one after another. The vibrations drained all the desire from Liang Daiwen, who helplessly flipped open a book by the bed. Sadly looking at the stethoscope, Gu Yi answered the phone: “Zhang Junjie, are you even human? I’ve quit!”