Chapter 28: The Wounded Girl: Jian Zhaowen’s Muse of Inspiration

Do you know how terrifying sexual desire can be? At night, people go online and exchange photos—mostly explicit ones.

Seeing Shi Rui still kneeling on the ground with a blissful expression, Jian Zhaowen sighed, closed the door, and knelt down beside her. Suddenly, Shi Rui placed her hand on her chest and began unbuttoning two or three buttons of her bright green dress. Sensing something was wrong, Jian grabbed her wrist: “Don’t do that.”

“Brother Zhaowen, my chest is actually quite big—I’m a C cup…”

“No, don’t do this.”

“Brother Zhaowen, just try it—I’ve never been touched before…” Jian took two steps back, visibly irritated. He moved his computer chair aside and gestured for Shi Rui to sit properly. He found a large sweatshirt, wrapped it around her, tightened the drawstrings, and leaned against the computer case on the floor, leveling his gaze with hers. His expression was solemn: “You like me, right?”

“Mm-hmm...”

“So why are you doing this? Do you think this will make me like you? When I came back from Beijing, I noticed something was off about you. My rejection might have hurt you—I apologize. But we need to sort out our relationship. If you won’t say it, then I will.”

“Is it because you like Yu Zhimei? She already has a boyfriend…”

Jian paused for a few seconds: “It has nothing to do with her. The real question is—who taught you to degrade yourself like this? Who told you to use this as a way to get into a relationship?”

“Does Brother Zhaowen dislike me?”

“You’re grasping at straws out of desperation.”

“I just want to be with the boy I like. Why does everyone either reject me or hurt me…?”

Hurt…?

“I just want to get married. If I don’t marry soon, it’ll be too late…”

“You’re still young.”

“I’m not young anymore! I’m twenty-five. If I don’t marry now, I’ll become damaged goods…”

“You want to get married, right? Look at me. Do I look like someone who’s ready for marriage?” Jian pointed to his chest and exhaled deeply, genuinely: “Marrying me would be bad luck.”

Shi Rui suddenly burst into tears, her tears flowing like water from a cracked clay jar. Jian, caught off guard, hastily grabbed tissues and sat with her as she cried for several minutes. Then it hit him—what he had sensed changing in Shi Rui. That once porcelain-like innocence, gleaming golden under sunlight and silver under moonlight, had vanished. Now, her purity and kindness were veiled. She was deliberately trying to break herself, even eagerly seeking someone to shatter her so she could cling to them like a piece of candy. Jian tried to convince himself that Shi Rui’s earlier actions weren’t malicious or bad—they were simply naïve, yet overly calculated. He grew tired of his own ability to see through people. Shi Rui had chosen him because of one reason—he was excellent.

He felt weary. Standing up, he opened the door for ventilation and walked step by step to the terrace. Through the window, he saw a small patch of blue sky. Just a few steps forward, and the view would be cut off by SOHO buildings and residential complexes. Those who could only see this small patch of sky would endlessly obsess over it—why are there no clouds, why isn’t it raining, why does this tiny piece of sky feel like it’s against them? Yet if they took a few steps forward, they’d realize it wasn’t a big deal. Life was just like that, but they refused to move. These girls, forced to seek stability before learning how to love, were told that a leaky house was safer than standing in the rain.

As for himself, he wasn’t exactly a good person either. Comforting a girl he didn’t like couldn’t even command his full attention. While consoling Shi Rui, his mind wandered to product requirements for his app and… the sound of gardening from next door.

After officially becoming an algorithm engineer at a big tech company, Jian followed the routine. He bought an Audi A4 with a Shanghai license plate, left early to avoid traffic, and returned home late at night. Working from ten in the morning to nine at night, plus commuting, Jian spent twelve hours a day busy. Despite being neighbors with Yu Zhimei, he hardly ever saw her, which made him anxious. And whenever Dou Yu visited every few days, even the slightest sound from next door fueled his anger. On a weekend night, Jian had just received the first round of interaction drafts from Xu Heng when he heard a sudden “thud” from the air conditioner unit outside. Stepping onto the terrace, he saw Lulu perched on the unit. Yu Zhimei’s balcony door was left open again. Listening closely, it seemed intentional—the smell of burnt food wafted over. Jian cradled Lulu and listened carefully. Yu Zhimei was frying fish indoors, and Dou Yu didn’t seem to be there.

“Yu Zhimei, your cat ran away!”

Coughing and shuffling in slippers, Yu Zhimei popped her head out, her eyes wide: “How did he get out? Did he open the door again?”

“Didn’t you let him out?”

“Of course not! This little troublemaker recently learned how to open doors himself. Wait, I’ll come over.”

Wearing an Ultraman-patterned apron, Yu Zhimei walked in, picked Lulu up by the scruff of his neck, and tapped his head: “If you keep this up, I’ll have to lock you up.” Turning to leave, Jian called out: “Won’t you stay for a bit?”

“My pan is still on the stove.”

“Is your boyfriend here?”

“No, he has class tonight.”

Jian slapped his forehead. Right, Dou Yu was a muscular dancer. A mischievous thought crossed his mind: “How about letting me share your meal?”

Yu Zhimei glanced at the clock: “He’ll come over after class. If he finds you in my place or me in yours, he’ll probably get mad again.”

“Is he that petty?”

“He considers you a rival.”

This remark struck a chord in Jian. Yu Zhimei hugged the cat tighter: “I’ll head back now.”

A few minutes later, Yu Zhimei called out to him from the balcony. Jian rushed over in quick strides. Through the air, Yu Zhimei handed him a plate: “We can eat here, maintaining a gentlemanly distance.”

Separated only by the air conditioner unit, it was barely a step and a half away. The cat could leap directly onto the balcony, and so could Jian. He suppressed the urge to jump over and scare Yu Zhimei, instead taking the plate she offered. It contained a piece of salmon, a few asparagus spears, and a slice of lemon. The fragrance was refreshing. Yu Zhimei dragged a stool to the balcony and sat down: “My piece got burnt. I can’t serve guests poorly—it’s mine to eat.”

“Let me see how burnt it is.” Jian took the charred black salmon from Yu Zhimei and placed it on the stool, handing her the golden-brown piece: “I like the burnt ones.”

“Give it back. I know how picky you are.”

“Not really. I’m the kind of person who eats pork intestine noodles.” As he said this, Jian felt a pang of sadness. Without Yu Zhimei, he hadn’t gone back to that noodle shop since returning. Only after Yu Zhimei took her first bite did Jian finally settle down. Eating fish in the cold wind was incredibly fishy. Yu Zhimei must have lost her mind to come up with this plan. Once the burnt noodles entered his mouth, their bitter, fishy taste almost made him faint. He swallowed without chewing: “You said Dou Yu gets angry easily?”

“No, not really.”

“Lying to me isn’t fun. We’re close. Tell me—I won’t say anything.”

“He’s… very fond of arguing, with a lot of temper. He’s genuinely cheerful, but his temper can flare up.”

“And you tolerate that?”

“It’s not his fault for having a straightforward personality. I just try not to provoke him.”

“That’s not right.” Jian clicked his tongue: “Jealousy is one thing, but getting angry and fighting over trivial matters means someday he’ll dominate you. Isn’t that bullying?”

Yu Zhimei stayed silent. Jian pressed on: “The first time I saw him, I thought he had a terrible temper—like he was on steroids, rushing around buying batteries to chase you. He seems brainless. What do you even like about him?”

“He dared to confess to me directly.”

Jian was speechless.

“Let me ask you something. Didn’t you reject Shi Rui’s confession before?”

“Yeah.” Remembering Shi Rui unbuttoning her dress a few days ago, Jian felt a slight irritation.

“Can you tell me why?”

“Because I felt nothing. Her being overly maternal was like playing the lute to a cow. Besides, I was about to return to Beijing then.” Jian noticed Yu Zhimei zoning out: “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing. How far along is your software?”

“I just got the interaction draft. Still building.”

“So… if you’re still making a dating social app, is there any way to ensure girls won’t get hurt?”

“I have ideas, but completely preventing it is difficult.”

“That harsh?”

“A dating social app—what do you think? For every successful romance, ten people get hurt. Do you know how terrifying sexual desire can be? At night, people exchange photos—mostly explicit ones. Back at Lovedate , our operations team was mostly women. Every day, they’d open their computers to hundreds of nude photos—high-definition, full-angle images.”

“…”

“On our first day, besides discussing company policies and benefits, we held meetings to mentally prepare them. But opening the complaint list still scared them. After a wave of resignations, they got used to it and started critiquing body hair density, body shapes, bra sizes, and throwing insults.”

“Your employee benefits should probably include a psychologist.”

“Of course—twice weekly counseling sessions. But you can’t stop this. Sometimes what you see isn’t the truth. Those flirtatious netizens wake up the next morning, review their chat records, realize how disgraceful they were the night before, and quickly report the other party during their ‘sage time,’ competing to be faster.”

Yu Zhimei was silent, deep in thought. Jian set down the cold fish: “Are you troubled by something?”

“When I was younger, around twenty-two or twenty-three, I went through a period of confusion. I had just gone through a devastating breakup—being abandoned in a dramatic way. Then I… met strange men…” Yu Zhimei smiled awkwardly: “In short, outsiders would say I lost my chastity. Looking back, I invited them home because I wanted someone to love me, but I was used and discarded. If I didn’t digest the pain myself and mistakenly equated it with love, I’d only feel worthless. I couldn’t tell anyone, so I convinced myself they left because they saw my suffering and couldn’t save me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to face myself in the mirror. So is there any way… to prevent these girls from getting hurt? Maybe boys get hurt too.”

“So equality doesn’t exist in this world.” Jian clenched his fists tightly: “When you’re hurt, you can only swallow your pain silently. In my app, I won’t allow it.” Jian looked at Yu Zhimei, growing frustrated by her smile: “Don’t smile like that. Smiling after going through such terrible things only makes me心疼 (heartbroken). Damn it.”

“Do you look down on me?”

“Of course not.” Jian talked about his dual design for day and night modes, noticing Yu Zhimei’s sparkling eyes and feeling his heart race: “During my startup days, I’ve seen too much of men and women’s affairs. Even more—I think the wounded became my muse of inspiration for this app. It might sound excessive, but an entrepreneur’s passion often stems from the evils they witness. In the end, they measure themselves by the value they create alongside the harm they cause—otherwise, why would so many charismatic bosses go on pilgrimages to seek peace?”

“What about you? Will you become a bad person?”

“What do you think? I’m someone who wants to save the world. Even if my software changes just a little, I believe I’ve created value.”

Yu Zhimei smiled at him. Jian thought of Shi Rui and found Yu Zhimei’s story suspicious. Unable to resist, he asked: “Did something happen to Shi Rui while I was gone?”

Before his words even faded, there was a knock at the door behind him. It was Dou Yu. Yu Zhimei hastily gathered the dishes and avoided answering directly: “Let’s stop here. Wait until your app officially launches, hero.”

PS: The update is a bit late today because I went out over the weekend. Thank you all for reading! As always, I look forward to everyone adding this to their bookshelf, voting, and leaving comments to chat! 😊