Chapter 39

Where to Go

Nan Yi sat by the bridge for a long time, feeling empty. She hadn’t heard any news of someone jumping into the river again, and thought that Song Mu Chuan must have come to his senses and returned to Wang Xuewu.

She was also a person who pretended to be tough but had a soft heart. She had always admired scholars, and when she spoke her harsh words, she feared that she might have pushed him too far and that he might actually try to take his life. Thankfully, he didn’t.

For some reason, after saving Song Yu Shu, her impulse to run away had faded. In this chaotic world, everyone was struggling to move an inch. She was just a small ant; where could she go to survive?

But what would going back change? People called her “Madam,” yet looked at her with disdain and contempt.

She wasn’t worthy of her position, and naturally, no one took her seriously or respected her. And Xie Que Shan wouldn’t let her go, forcing her to squeeze out the last bit of her value.

Even though Nan Yi spoke firmly to Song Mu Chuan, when it came to herself, she was just as lost.

On her way back to the room, she overheard the maidservants gossiping that the precious object lost by Concubine Lu had still not been found after two days of searching.

Concubine Lu’s maternal family had been noble in the previous dynasty, but after the kingdom fell, they had fallen into ruin. Still, they had passed down some treasures, including the jade pendant that Concubine Lu had lost. She had mobilized the entire household to search inch by inch, even gathering the maids to search their bodies.

Nan Yi hurried back to Zhe Yue Pavilion, not even realizing someone was already sitting inside when she entered.

Looking up in surprise, she saw Xie Que Shan sitting there, his face dark and making the air around her feel cold.

Nan Yi froze for a few seconds, feeling an overwhelming pressure. She instinctively tried to kneel, but Xie Que Shan quickly grabbed her wrist.

His hand tightened around her wrist, and there was anger in his gaze.

“What did I tell you?”

“What?” Nan Yi was momentarily stunned but quickly realized, answering guiltily, “I won’t kneel to anyone except my elders.”

“And what else?”

Nan Yi stared blankly at him, genuinely unable to remember.

Xie Que Shan disdainfully let go of her wrist, throwing out a cold command: “Take off your outer robe.”

Nan Yi, like a startled bird, stepped back in fear, looking at Xie Que Shan.

He couldn’t be bothered to say more. He drew the sword at his side, and with a swift flash, the sword sliced through her belt, and her robe came undone. He didn’t say a word, but his sword tip pressed against Nan Yi, and she stumbled back until her back hit the doorframe, leaving her with nowhere to retreat. The tip of his sword flicked open her outer robe.

What she had hidden in the robe fell to the ground.

It was a finely crafted, exquisitely carved jade lock pendant.

Nan Yi was left in only a white inner garment. The inner garment wasn’t fully dry and clung to her body, wrinkled and sticky. She stood trembling, afraid, and deeply embarrassed.

She had been possessed by some sort of madness. Yesterday, she had found this object in the Grand Lady’s courtyard, and in a moment of impulse, she had hidden it in her sleeve.

Half of her had wanted revenge, and half had hoped to turn it into some private money for herself, to plan for her future life outside the manor.

When she left the manor today, she heard that the jade pendant was extremely valuable. Nan Yi dared not pawn it at the pawnshop in Lidou, fearing they would trace it back to her, so she decided to keep it with her.

She had no idea when Xie Que Shan discovered it, as she had thought she had hidden it perfectly.

“Didn’t I tell you to put away your petty thieving ways?”

“Yes…”

“Then why are you still stealing?”

She tried to explain, “I found it in the Grand Lady’s courtyard... I didn’t know whose it was.”

“Taking something that doesn’t belong to you is stealing!”

Indeed, she was a thief, and she hadn’t changed her bad habits. She was a person tainted by the corrupt world, guilty, lowly, and certainly in the wrong.

But what annoyed her even more was Xie Que Shan scolding her. All the suffering she had endured had come from him.

Nan Yi raised her head, her eyes already red, feeling utterly humiliated. Without thinking, she retorted, “You’re the one who doesn’t know shame!”

Xie Que Shan’s expression clearly froze.

Nan Yi realized what she had said, but the words were already out. Today, she just didn’t want to hold back anymore.

“I can only wait for your grace, for your reward. That’s the only thing I can have. But sooner or later, you’ll just take it away! Do you know how cruel it is to suddenly give a beggar wealth and glory? Because one day, you powerful people will take it all back, and I’ll still have nothing, even less than before!”

Xie Que Shan fell silent, and the anger on his face slowly faded.

He had originally thought that, since she was well-provided for in Wang Xuewu, stealing the jade pendant from Lu Jin Xiu was purely out of greed and selfishness. He didn’t want her to fall back into the bad habit of petty theft. 

But he noticed something was off with Nan Yi.

He took a step toward her and stared at her intently. “Who has been bullying you?”

Those simple words were like a flood crashing through a dam that had already been weakened beyond repair, and her tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.

He felt a bit lost. In the past, her tears were mostly out of fear, often feigned, and occasionally, they were tears of sympathy. But now, she was truly heartbroken.

It seemed that, without him noticing, she had endured a great deal of suffering.

Yet Nan Yi didn’t think he would help her; she hadn’t even considered that possibility. Such trivial matters in the inner chambers, how could they stir anything in his cold heart?

“Please leave, I beg you—” Nan Yi pushed Xie Que Shan towards the door. “If you want to scold me or even kill me, can you come back tomorrow? Please let me have some peace for a moment.”

Xie Que Shan refused to move.

He was a little angry. She was a little wild thing he had taken in, he provided for her, taught her how to stand on her own, taught her strategies, and would continue to teach her how to read and write, to learn more principles so she could live honorably in this world without being bullied. He was harsh with her because he didn’t care if she hated him; as long as she could grow, that was enough. But who, in the end, had hurt her?

At that moment, the courtyard door was suddenly swung open with force, and heavy footsteps approached, stopping at the entrance.

He Ping’s voice came from outside. “Concubine Lu, the master is inside.”

Lu Jin Xiu immediately dared not act rashly, her voice carrying some hesitation. “I lost something, and someone said they saw Madam pass by here yesterday. I wanted to ask her about it.”

Xie Que Shan glanced at the jade pendant in his hand, then looked at Nan Yi.

Nan Yi visibly trembled, clearly not wanting to be caught by Lu Jin Xiu, fearing endless humiliation. But now, her face and dignity were in Xie Que Shan’s hands.

“Let her in,” Xie Que Shan said indifferently.

Lu Jin Xiu entered the room with her personal maidservant, only to find that Nan Yi seemed to be absent. Only Xie Que Shan was sitting in the main seat, his face dark, looking like he was in a bad mood. She dared not provoke him further.

Xie Que Shan extended the jade pendant toward her. “Concubine, is this your possession? I thought it belonged to my sister-in-law, and I was going to deliver it to her, but I found she wasn’t here. Just as I was about to leave, you arrived.”

Lu Jin Xiu didn’t dare question him and hurriedly stepped forward to take the pendant. “Yes, this is mine. Thank you, Master.”

Though Lu Jin Xiu lowered her eyes, her gaze still darted around the room, and this small movement didn’t escape Xie Que Shan’s notice.

“Master, then I will take my leave.”

Xie Que Shan nodded. Lu Jin Xiu quickly turned to leave, but her hurried steps revealed a hint of guilt.

Of course, she was guilty. She feared Nan Yi would complain to Xie Que Shan, and upon seeing him in Zhe Yue Pavilion, she had become tense. Fortunately, Nan Yi wasn’t in the room, and Xie Que Shan didn’t show any unusual reaction. She then reassured herself; after all, these were private matters within the inner chambers. Even a shameless girl wouldn’t go around talking about them.

She let out a sigh of relief, but she didn’t want to stay in this oppressive atmosphere any longer.

Her hasty departure, however, raised Xie Que Shan’s suspicions. Lu Jin Xiu was usually meticulous, maintaining proper etiquette at all times. Her abrupt entrance into the courtyard had been somewhat rude, and now she was about to leave without even mentioning the host of Zhe Yue Pavilion. It seemed like something was off…

“Concubine Lu—” Just as Lu Jin Xiu was about to step out the door, Xie Que Shan called to her.