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Psst! We're moving!
In reality, Yin Mengxi didn’t wait for Xiao Zhi to return that night. She left shortly after he did, and by the time he returned with dinner around eight o’clock, the apartment was empty—save for the lingering scent of the incense she had lit earlier.
Their relationship grew even stranger from that point on. Despite both trying to bridge the gap between them, an unyielding sense of distance continued to widen. The topic of their intimate relationship became taboo; any mention of it felt awkward, leaving both of them stuck in a tense stalemate.
Worse still, just a few days later, disaster struck.
—Yin Mengxi failed a core required course.
It was the same class plagued by issues: skipped lectures, caught during roll call, hastily completed assignments, and insufficient review. In the end, her professor showed no leniency and gave her an “F.” The glaring red letter stood out starkly on the grade-checking page. When she saw it, her mind went blank, her hands and feet turning icy cold.
Xiao Zhi was with her at a restaurant when this happened. Seeing her suddenly pale face, he immediately asked, “What’s wrong?” Lost in shock, she didn’t respond. After a moment, he silently took her phone and saw the shocking red “F,” along with a string of grades like “B,” “B-,” and “C.”
Her GPA for the fall semester of junior year: 2.11.
He remained silent, not saying a word or asking a question as he scrolled through her grades. Only when she belatedly snapped out of her daze did she realize he had seen everything. All the lies she’d told over the past semester crumbled instantly. His furrowed brows and increasingly stern expression set off the final alarm bells in her heart. Deep down, she knew all the small conflicts that had accumulated were about to explode at this very moment.
“Let’s go back first…”
His tone was unusually serious, his usually gentle eyes devoid of their usual warmth.
“…We need to talk.”
Returning to the house where her social death had occurred just days earlier, Yin Mengxi’s expression was already numb.
She mechanically followed him upstairs, into the apartment, and sat on the living room sofa. He walked into the kitchen, poured a glass of warm water, and placed it in front of her with a soft “clink”—a sound so light, yet it felt like it landed directly on her heart.
Then came silence.
Endless silence.
—Why the silence?
Don’t you know this is unbearable torment for me?
Her hands clenched tighter on her knees, her face growing paler by the second. Just as she was about to break, he finally spoke, perhaps having heard her silent plea.
“Let’s talk about your plans moving forward,” his voice was heavy, making her anxious for the first time. “What do you plan to do next? Are you considering preparing for graduate school?”
Graduate school…
Yes, she no longer qualified for direct admission. Although her GPA from freshman and sophomore years had been high, even after being dragged down by this semester, it was still 3.45. With effort in the next semester, she might have reached the cutoff for direct admission—but failing a course was a hard rule. Even if her overall GPA was 3.99, one “F” disqualified her. If she wanted to pursue a master’s degree now, she would have to take the entrance exam.
Graduate school…
That was too difficult. How much easier could it be than the college entrance exam? Countless people fought tooth and nail to get in. Without shedding blood, sweat, and tears, how could one succeed? Preparing for the exam meant giving up her internship—and she…
“I…” she hesitated, scraping her nails against her palm. “…Can I not pursue graduate school?”
Finally, she said it.
“No graduate school?” He didn’t understand how much courage it took for her to ask that question, his brows furrowing further as if she were a naive child. “Why not?”
She pressed her lips together, the pressure mounting inside her. She tried to explain clearly but stumbled over her words. “I think our major is more application-oriented. Graduate school might not add much value for work… I’ve already found a job at the TV station, and the leadership there appreciates me. I believe if I keep working hard, I can stay on and become a full-time employee after graduation… Preparing for graduate school requires too much time and energy, and there’s no guarantee I’ll pass on the first try. What if I fail the exam and lose my job? Besides, even with a master’s degree, I’ll still need to find work afterward. Instead of putting so much effort into getting that diploma, I’d rather focus on excelling in my work…”
Her words were disjointed, her tone scattered.
But he understood what she meant: she didn’t want to pursue graduate school. Her heart was set on working, and it seemed she had made this decision long ago, only choosing to tell him now.
He inhaled deeply, his expression growing darker. She was afraid, stealing glances at his face from time to time. Then he asked, “But last time we talked, didn’t you say you’d prioritize graduate school?”
“Were you lying to me then?”
“Or did you change your mind recently?”
Such a humiliating question. She couldn’t lift her head, mumbling, “I…”
“Are you sure about this?” he pressed further, showing a rare hint of assertiveness. “Is it really that you don’t want to pursue graduate school, or are you temporarily discouraged by failing and avoiding the idea of retaking the exam?”
“This decision will affect your entire life. I hope you’ll consider it more carefully.”
…How stern.
He had been her gentle and considerate boyfriend for so long that she had forgotten he was also an excellent teacher. Teachers don’t always speak softly; when faced with a “misbehaving” student, criticism was inevitable. He was subtler, never resorting to anger, but the mere furrowing of his brows doubled the pressure, making her feel like an incorrigible failure, one even his patient nature couldn’t tolerate.
“I’ve thought about it…” she tried to explain, desperate to bare her soul to him. “It’s not that I’m afraid of challenges. I genuinely love my current job—I really do…”
But she trailed off again.
He continued to watch her, maintaining a distance that felt like a formal examination. She felt as though she were defending her thesis under the harshest scrutiny.
“What exactly do you love about it?” His brows furrowed further. “Last semester, you were constantly exhausted, and your colleagues made you unhappy. What specifically attracts you to this job?”
—Of course, it’s because of the money.
She already had a clear answer in her heart, but she knew such a response wouldn’t hold up. So she lied again: “Because producing shows gives me a sense of accomplishment. Seeing my name on TV feels exciting…”
“Xiao Xi.”
He interrupted her.
For the first time since they met… he interrupted her.
“How long do you plan to keep lying to me like this?” The warmth of spring vanished, replaced by winter frost. His eyes, once like a serene lake, now froze over. “Hiding things won’t solve the problem—it will only make things worse.”
“Is this really the reason you’re so determined to do this job? Just for a sense of accomplishment?”
…Not particularly harsh words.
After all, he was a man of great composure, never raising his voice or losing his temper. Yet she felt as though she had been completely pierced, exposed under the bright light of day. All her carefully concealed, shameful thoughts were laid bare. Perhaps this was the cruelest punishment imaginable.
—This wasn’t what she wanted.
She wasn’t strong-willed; she lived under others’ gazes. While he could ignore the gossip on the school forums, she couldn’t help but check daily. Among everyone, he mattered most to her. She wanted to show him only her best side—80 points weren’t enough, nor were 90 or 100. She needed to be perfect to feel momentarily at peace.
…But now?
He saw through her. Her inflated scores were brought crashing down. Could a liar even pass the minimum standard? He probably guessed she was doing it for the money. Would he despise her for chasing wealth and materialism?
Her fragile defenses collapsed entirely. Perhaps the lingering emotions from unexpectedly meeting his mother a few days earlier fueled her breakdown. She lost control, masking her collapse with a facade of defiance, unconsciously adopting the aggressive tactics she’d learned in the workplace.
“So, what do you think?” For the first time, she challenged him, her raised eyes carrying a rebellious glint. “You already have an answer in mind, don’t you? No matter what I say, you’ll judge me based on your assumptions.”
“All right, fine—I admit it. I’m doing this for the money.”
“Is that enough for you? Are you satisfied now?”
…Things began spiraling out of control.
She hadn’t expected such intense emotions to erupt, nor had she anticipated lashing out at him, who had done nothing wrong. He seemed equally surprised, the gentle breeze between tree branches turning sharp, scattering yellowed leaves.
“Xiao Xi,” he sounded as though he wanted to give her another “F.” “Calm down first.”
“Junior year is indeed a time of significant choices. Everyone must take responsibility for their own life. I’m not trying to interfere; I just want you to confirm your true intentions.”
“I admit I prefer you pursuing graduate school. It would give you more time to explore and reflect. You have a talent for academia—your previous papers and projects were excellent. I don’t want you to waste your potential.”
…How mature of him.
Even in the face of her barrage of accusatory questions, he remained rational, unaffected by emotion. But she couldn’t rein in the wild beast raging within her. It roared to break free of reason, releasing the fatigue and inferiority she had accumulated for so long.
“But that’s just your opinion!” She lost control entirely, her voice rising sharply. “That’s not how I feel!”
Enough.
“Do I have to live according to your expectations? Did I write those papers and complete those projects because I enjoyed them? No! I did it for you! I did it to be noticed by you, to earn your attention!”
Stop.
“I actually hate doing those things! I want a fresher, more exciting life! I need money—I want to buy houses and cars like my colleagues, to stop being looked down on by salespeople in luxury stores!”
That’s not true.
“And why do you assume I can make the same choices as you? Not everyone has the privilege to pursue academia! After finishing a master’s, then a Ph.D., I’ll be almost thirty by the time I graduate! Thirty and not earning money! Is that realistic? Can someone from an ordinary family afford that?”
“I just don’t want to live in a fantasy! I don’t want to end up with nothing!—Am I wrong? Am I!”
…It’s not supposed to be like this.
All her grievances and vulnerabilities were buried deep inside, while what surfaced was aggression and ferocity. The once soft little rabbit had finally grown fangs, its fierce and desperate appearance revealed to him first. All traces of pure affection seemed to vanish in that moment, leaving her feeling mismatched and destined to lose what mattered most to her.
“Xiao Xi…”
The look in his eyes gradually turned cold, unfamiliar—as if he had never known her.
“…How did you become like this?”
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