IT - 1

Chapter 1: Emotions That Surface When Alone

The feeling was as if she had poured an entire month’s worth of mirror-gazing into today, all in preparation for the interview. Despite knowing full well that there was nothing to criticize about herself, Ji-soo couldn’t help but stand in front of the mirror every chance she got.

The rare occasion when a contract-based announcer from Taesung Group and an executive from the Innovation Strategy Division would meet felt as distant as the physical gap between the third floor, where the production studio was located, and the 45th floor, home to the executive office.

But more than that, the reason Ji-soo couldn’t hide her nervousness and excitement wasn’t just because she rarely showed personal emotions—earning her the nickname “Ice Doll”—but because the person she was interviewing today was none other than Executive Director Cha Tae-ha.

Ten years. From her freshman year in college to now, a decade had passed—a period long enough for mountains and rivers to change, yet Ji-soo’s feelings had remained frozen in place.

“Anyway, those quiet, demure types always end up showing up a few months later with a swollen belly after throwing themselves at someone. Just wait and see.”

Hearing voices approaching the restroom entrance, Ji-soo grabbed her bag from the sink counter and stepped into a stall.

“You’re talking too loud. What if someone hears you?”

“What did I say that wasn’t true? Honestly, it’s people like Han Ji-soo who make decent folks like me, who rely on talent alone, suffer.”

“To be fair, Ji-soo is objectively better in terms of skill. And prettier.”

“What does it matter how an in-house announcer looks on air? Ugh, it makes me so mad! That wretched woman.”

The women exchanged sharp remarks before pulling out their toothbrushes and brushing their teeth vigorously. The one referring to Ji-soo as “Ji-soo” was a colleague two years older, while the one complaining seemed to be a junior who joined last year.

“I mean, why would someone as amazing as her not go to a broadcasting network and instead join this company?”

Even though everyone knew the conditions here were far better than at any broadcasting station, the only thing they could nitpick about Ji-soo was this.

“I heard rumors she skipped the final training camp and turned down a sponsor meeting beforehand.”

“Pfft, that’s just her playing hard to get. Who knows what she’s scheming, sitting there all coy and mysterious, waiting to reel in sponsors through other means? Look at her today.”

From inside the stall, Ji-soo realized they were talking about the upcoming interview. Originally, it had been assigned to her junior, but it was suddenly reassigned to Ji-soo yesterday without prior notice. Overwhelmed by this unexpected stroke of luck, Ji-soo hadn’t slept a wink last night, while her junior was now cursing her as if she’d betrayed the nation.

“It was Executive Director Cha’s order. What choice does Ji-soo have? We’re just wage workers; we do what we’re told.”

“That’s exactly why she’s so cunning. People like her, who have nothing, sure know how to sniff out money.”

Her junior spat out her grievances along with foamy toothpaste.

“For anything else, given Ji-soo’s personality, she’d demand explanations and justification for such a sudden schedule change without prior discussion! She’d definitely say something clear-cut like that.”

By now, the frothy toothpaste looked more like sea foam bubbling over.

“We heard her yesterday, didn’t we? Saying ‘yes’ right away. Ugh, I hate it! It was my chance! I could’ve done well too! It was my opportunity to make a good impression on Executive Director Cha Tae-ha.”

“Hee-kyung, you’ll get another chance.”

Tae-ha wasn’t just some promising man from a successful division. He was considered one of the future leaders who would take the reins of Taesung Group.

Moreover, despite his striking features and impressive physique, which drew attention wherever he went, he had never once been involved in any scandal related to women.

His sharp, cryptic way of speaking led to exaggerated rumors that he was some kind of pervert who enjoyed unconventional relationships. But since these rumors conveniently spared him from forced matchmaking attempts, he saw no need to correct them.

“It’s disgusting how sly she is. Her contract is almost up anyway. She knows she has no real future here, so she’s probably trying to seduce Executive Director Cha with her decent face and body to secure a better life. Let’s see how far she gets… Huh!”

As soon as her junior locked eyes with Ji-soo in the mirror, she reflexively swallowed the toothpaste foam she’d been holding in her mouth. Her accomplice, who had silently listened to the malicious gossip, panicked, rinsed her mouth quickly, grabbed her toothbrush, and fled.

Ji-soo handed her junior a cup of tap water, poured into an expensive glass the junior had boasted about buying in Santorini last summer during vacation.

“It won’t kill you, but since toothpaste contains chemicals, it’s better for your health to rinse it out, don’t you think?”

“Th-thank you.”

Though she understood the suggestion, the junior hesitated, clutching the cup tightly. Meanwhile, the sneaky colleague slipped out of the restroom without so much as a goodbye.

“As people grow older, they accumulate skills and experience and move into managerial positions. I was considering a good offer from the media production team, but after hearing Hee-kyung’s bold declaration to keep an eye on me, I’m leaning toward staying here.”

“Congratulations, Se-senior.”

Her junior, whose face was beet red like a burst dumpling, muttered a quiet congratulatory remark.

“You’re only two years younger than me. Becoming the head of the announcer team at thirty isn’t bad, but Hee-kyung, who prepared for civil service exams after graduating late and joined the company just this year—isn’t she here thanks to family connections? A relative on her mother’s side? Or maybe an uncle?”

“My aunt.”

While washing her hands carefully, Ji-soo made sure the subtle perfume she’d sprayed on her wrists didn’t wash off.

“If I become the head of the announcer team, I’ll take Hee-kyung’s advice and thoroughly investigate employees who are older, don’t work much, and seem to have ulterior motives before assigning tasks. I’ll also coordinate schedules in advance to prevent any scheming.”

Her junior, still clutching the cup, unknowingly gulped down the water in one go, as if parched. After trembling slightly, she left the restroom, forgetting even the prized Santorini glass.

Once her fuming junior had left, Ji-soo’s previously confident and composed expression turned bitter. She stared at herself in the mirror.

Someone once said that the most honest emotions surface when you’re alone.

What was she feeling right now? Though the conversation had been malicious, most of it was true.

Just before graduation, Ji-soo had made it to the final rounds of auditions for announcer positions at three major broadcasting networks. Each time, she stumbled at the last hurdle due to circumstances that were deeply personal.

“Yeah, damn personal issues,” she thought bitterly.

She tried not to blame others, but every time she recalled those days of failure—failures beyond her control—her head throbbed with a heavy ache.

Her mother, who had been infatuated with men and dancing since Ji-soo was young, left behind more than ten lovers in her wake. Ji-soo had heard from debt collectors that her mother ran off to a warm country with a man younger than herself. Because of this, Ji-soo’s recent life had been relatively peaceful compared to the chaos of her past.

Walking out on promises of financial support and sponsor-introduction meetings was her way of rejecting the kind of life her mother led—a life devoid of roots, leaning on alcohol and men, losing hope and future along the way.

“Ji-soo, why bother studying? You’re so pretty, just like me. Forget about books and focus on taking care of your looks. That’s all you need to live comfortably!”

A few years ago, when her mother showed up at her workplace asking for travel money to go on a trip to Namhae, Ji-soo didn’t add the biting remark that her mother had only gotten by because of her looks. She felt anger, yes, but also pity for her mother’s tragic life. How desperate must she have been?

Tears rolled down her cheeks, bitter and sorrowful, undoing all the effort she’d put into staying composed.

“Why am I crying like a fool?”

No matter how tightly she wrapped herself to keep from falling apart, the misfortunes of poverty and the emptiness of family would occasionally seep through and shake her.

She rummaged through her bag for makeup to wipe away the moisture from her face and patted it dry. Admitting to herself that she wanted to cry, she bit her trembling lips.

“I can do this. I’ve done well so far.”

She had skillfully avoided Cha Tae-ha’s piercing gaze for ten years and perfectly concealed her feelings for him.

“Trying to seduce Executive Director Cha to improve her lot in life...”

Ji-soo couldn’t help but dwell on her junior’s words as she removed the pearl earrings she had worn to dress up.

Could something like earrings really seduce Tae-ha? The more she loved him, the more her already uneven fate seemed to bare itself cruelly, leaving her feeling like crumpled laundry.

Ji-soo adjusted her neatly pressed collar and stepped outside.

It was late afternoon on a Friday in February, caught between the tail end of winter and the early days of spring. The sunlight was unusually warm and comforting.

Ji-soo had agreed to join the team producing Taesung Group’s spring newsletter, Sangchun, at the suggestion of PD Kang Eun-ho from the planning department. This opportunity solidified her decision to renew her contract and stay with the company.

Even if she left Taesung Group, she knew she wouldn’t stop loving Tae-ha, and she had little confidence that her life would improve elsewhere.

It was almost funny how she had considered leaving because of her unrequited love but quickly decided to stay once she had the chance to work with Tae-ha. Rationalizing that indulging a little longer in her one-sided affection wouldn’t be so bad.

Though there was still an hour before the interview, Ji-soo headed to the studio. It was already set up to resemble a cozy café.

As she carried a cup of coffee toward the waiting room, she paused at the entrance. Tae-ha sat on the expansive sofa that always seemed too large to Ji-soo, his arms crossed, eyes closed.

Though Ji-soo usually moved quietly, careful not to make a sound, she accidentally backed into the wall, causing the coffee in her hand to slosh slightly—but not enough to disturb Tae-ha.

If emotions revealed themselves most honestly when alone, what color or shape was Tae-ha’s heart right now?

A dangerous curiosity nudged Ji-soo forward.

He looked impeccable in his usual tailored suit, but he was equally striking now, wearing a white shirt with a loosened tie. To someone who had loved him for ten years, everything about him seemed perfect.

It appeared he had come straight from the airport after a business trip abroad; his jacket was casually thrown over the back of the sofa, along with his travel bag.

According to the schedule secretary of the Innovation Strategy Division, Tae-ha had squeezed this interview into his packed agenda. Afterward, he had to attend a forum in Jeju Island. If he managed to rest briefly, it was likely because he took an earlier flight than planned.

Deciding not to disturb him, Ji-soo carefully hung his jacket on a hanger to prevent wrinkles. To avoid making noise, she slipped off her clicking heels and tiptoed behind the sofa.

“Ahh!”

Before she could even pass by Tae-ha, his firm grip suddenly seized her wrist. Ji-soo stumbled forward, landing against his broad chest. As she raised her head, the face she had only dreamed of drew near—close enough for their lips to touch.