BO - 10

10. Jealousy-Driven Choi Si-baek. He’s Lost His Mind

I was just about to leave work when, unexpectedly, my ankle was grabbed.  

“Miss Seo. Did you wear nice clothes today because of the team dinner?”  

“Team dinner… today?”  

“It’s been planned for a week now. To celebrate Teacher Kim’s wedding.”  

“Oh.”  

Lately, my mind had been completely consumed by Choi Si-baek, so I’d forgotten all about it.  

Seeing my expression as if hearing this for the first time, Kim Eun-yoo, the dental hygienist beside me, feigned hurt and pouted.  

“I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy lately. But I didn’t forget that Teacher Kim is getting married. Let me congratulate you properly while I’m at it.”  

My plan to go on a date after work was crumbling before my eyes. Quickly pulling out my phone, I sent a text to Choi Si-baek explaining that I’d forgotten about the team dinner. Not long after, my phone rang. Just as I was about to answer, Seok-woo suddenly appeared behind me.  

“Miss Seo.”  

“Ah! You startled me!”  

“Why are you so surprised?”  

“Ah, no reason. You just appeared out of nowhere.”  

“Here, drink this hangover cure. I noticed last time that you seemed to struggle after drinking.”  

“I’m… fine, though.”  

I awkwardly smiled at Seok-woo, who stood staring at me, while shoving my vibrating phone into my pocket. Come to think of it, I’d vaguely postponed his earlier request for an “after-date,” and I hadn’t given him a proper response since then.  

Pushed along by the group, I ended up in the beer hall, sitting on the side of the table. Amidst the laughter of my colleagues, I felt like oil floating on water—unable to mix. I sipped my beer while avoiding eye contact with Choi Si-baek, who sat across from me at another table. His piercing gaze made me uneasy as he ignored calls, likely keeping an eye on me.  

Seok-woo, sitting across from me, glanced over his shoulder toward Choi Si-baek. To redirect his attention, I hastily handed him a skewer of fish cake. Of course, Seok-woo now knew who Choi Si-baek was. How could anyone forget that face after seeing it once? The thought of him recognizing Choi Si-baek sent cold sweat trickling down my spine.  

If Seok-woo were to find out that the man who totaled his car was none other than my boyfriend… The mere thought made my back prickle with anxiety.  

It wasn’t just because Choi Si-baek was the director—it was also because it felt too disrespectful to the man I’d gone on a blind date with. Sure, back then Choi Si-baek and I weren’t anything to each other, but look how things turned out. I felt responsible for the fallout.  

Innocent as I was, I somehow found myself shouldering all the blame for Choi Si-baek’s actions.  

“Congratulations, Teacher Kim. Don’t leave us! Boo-hoo.”  

“If that happens, will you hold me forever?”  

“Why? Didn’t we agree that if we’re still single past our thirties, we’d split rent on a three-room apartment? A three-room apartment—the dream of all solo dwellers.”  

“Find someone else, Teacher Yoo-na. I’ve already found someone to split rent with.”  

“That’s betrayal! Such a betrayal!”  

Amidst the lively chatter and laughter, I didn’t expect any questions to come my way.  

“By the way, Miss Seo. Did you change your perfume? You smell different today. It’s a nice scent.”  

This unexpected question hit me like an unannounced bombing raid.  

I’d spent the entire weekend rolling around in Choi Si-baek’s house, wearing his t-shirts all day. The scent must have seeped into my skin. Before leaving today, we’d played around in his dressing room—I even sprayed some of his cologne. I’d tried on his neatly arranged ties, slipped into his shirts, done all sorts of things.  

“It smells like men’s cologne.”  

“Ah… uh…”  

At Teacher Yoo-na’s sudden comment, I could feel Seok-woo’s eyes on me too.  

Unconsciously, my gaze drifted behind Seok-woo. There he was, resting his chin on his hand, staring at me. He flicked his crossed foot slightly.  

“I liked the scent, so I bought it, but turns out it’s men’s cologne. Still, it’d be a waste not to use it.”  

“Tell me what it is. I’ll get it for my boyfriend.”  

“I’ll let you know later. I’m not sure exactly what it is either.”  

Is this why guilty people feel their legs go numb? My heart raced more than during my first clinical rotation.  

Hurriedly, I lifted my beer glass to my lips, gulping it down. Was this even beer, or was it my own bile? It tasted bitter, almost astringent. Seeing Seok-woo offering me dry snacks with a gentle reminder to drink slowly only made it worse.  

“Miss Seo, I’ve always liked you.”  

“Suddenly?”  

“So don’t go anywhere. Stay with us at the hospital for a long time.”  

“It’s just the alcohol talking.”  

Other teachers shook their heads in exasperation, already more than halfway drunk.  

Trying to breathe in some fresh air, I peeled Yoo-na off me, grabbed my bag, and headed outside. Seok-woo followed me out. I figured it was a good opportunity—I needed to give him an answer anyway. Though it wasn’t exactly the best timing after drinking, neither of us had consumed much compared to the others. Plus, delaying my response any further wouldn’t be fair.  

“Shall we move somewhere quieter?”  

He gestured toward a café sign across from the beer hall.  

Glancing back at Choi Si-baek, who had followed me outside, I nodded lightly. It didn’t seem like he was going to reject me outright or suggest we stay friends awkwardly. As we walked, my attention remained entirely focused on him. Even though he already filled every inch of my space, I couldn’t bear to spare even a glance elsewhere. My words to him earlier hadn’t been empty—I wanted all his gazes directed at me, just as mine were always fixed on him.  

I decided it would be better to speak here.  

“Um… Director…”  

First, I was startled by the large hand enveloping mine. Then, second, by the fingers intertwining tightly with mine. Turning my head in shock, I met Choi Si-baek’s stormy eyes. They were heavy with rainclouds, foretelling an imminent downpour. But beneath that, I saw the softness hidden within—a look I’d seen that night after our one-night stand. That shadowed gaze, as deep and suffocating as the night we’d spent together. Only now did I understand what those eyes had held that night. Choi Si-baek, even then, you had wanted me. You had desired my heart.  

Stopping in my tracks, I faced Choi Si-baek. Seok-woo approached belatedly, but my focus was entirely on Choi Si-baek.  

“Don’t go.”  

“…”  

“We agreed not to do this anymore.”  

“…”  

“You said you wouldn’t turn your back on me.”  

Everything about him was the same—his ashen eyes, his cold gaze, his calm lips, his deeply carved smile. Yet, his voice holding me captive left me speechless. It wasn’t pleading, yet it felt like a plea. His composed tone made it seem as though only the two of us existed in the world.  

You, who guard your inner self like a thick orange peel, revealing only a sliver of your true nature to me. That crimson sincerity that disarms me completely.  

Unable to pull my hand away, I bowed deeply to Seok-woo in apology. All my earlier worries about being caught now felt meaningless. Who cared if others found out about us, or if they gossiped? If I could hold this hand, none of that mattered. Only now did I realize how insignificant everything else was.  

He had known this all along, far ahead of me, yet he had patiently waited for me to catch up.  

Never mind. I’ll just open my own practice. After all, I doubt I’ll ever leave this man and Korea again.  

“I’m sorry, Director Seok-woo.”  

Leaving behind a bewildered Seok-woo trying to process the situation, I turned back to Choi Si-baek and nodded.  

Okay. I won’t turn my back on you.  

“Aah, wait, ah! Ahh!”  

Didn’t you say it was fine earlier, you crazy bastard?  

No sooner had we entered the parking lot than he slammed into me, biting fiercely at my nape and chest. He’d left angry hickeys earlier, which I’d carefully covered up, but now he tore them open again, licking as if determined not to leave a single empty spot. Despite my protests to stop, he acted like a madman, sucking greedily on my breasts, biting my nipples, and smearing saliva over my trembling areolas. By the time I realized it, I was half-naked, straddling him, and crying.  

Oh, this stone-cold man. Shouldn’t we at least make it home first?  

Caught in his determination to hold nothing back, I was lost, unable to find my footing.  

“Hang on, are you really planning to do this here? Weren’t you just going to reject the after-date idea? Aah, ah!”  

“If I hadn’t stopped you, where would you two have ended up? You both looked like you were about to die of happiness.”  

“When did I ever look like I was dying of happi—Aaah! Ahhh!”  

Just as I felt his fingers brushing against my inner thighs, his tattooed hands spread apart the folds of my labia and pushed inside, prying me open.

“Ugh, ahh! Haa!” His fingers, climbing the steep slope of my cliff-like vagina, finally began to rub and enter the folds of my vaginal walls, going in and out. I, overwhelmed by the almost fainting stimulation, clung to his neck and cried out as if the door would break.

Earlier, he had held me back like that, but as soon as I turned with him, Choi Si-baek’s expression was gone. Beyond good or bad, it was simply a pissed-off expression.

He was interrogating me with eyes that asked if going to a cafe alone after drinking was truly without any intention. I know what he’s thinking. It was a situation that could easily lead to misunderstanding, but I also told him that I intended to reject any feelings from that person. It was absolutely not meant to give him any lingering hopes. But his expression hardened even more. I had helplessly confessed that I had received something similar to a confession from Seok-woo.

When it comes to patience, it’s Choi Si-baek, and when it comes to reason, it’s Choi Si-baek, but in front of me, he seemed to have no intention of restraining anything, and he ended up clinging to me like this.

It was true that once someone with strong self-control breaks down, no one can stop them.

Such a strong man, because of me, for the trivial reason that I was with another man. Everything was trivial, but the repercussions for Choi Si-baek were truly enormous.

The moment something trivial and insignificant becomes meaningful to someone, it’s a reason that can only be explained by love.

Everything he had been holding back was collapsing like a sandcastle.

“Ah, ungh! Choi, Si-baek, ah!” “You were all ‘darling’ a moment ago, and now it’s ‘Choi Si-baek.’ Ha.” Is that important now? Why is he so meticulous? How can he not forget even a bit of what I did that was embarrassing?

“You jealous, crazy, Choi Si-baek, huu, really, ungh, you’re not in your right mind.” “Yeah, I’m crazy. It’s really something that you’re just realizing now.”

He was sucking on my breasts as if he would tear them apart, and his fingers were choosing and spreading, crushing, and stabbing only the most stimulating parts that would make me go crazy. The simultaneous stimulation made me gasp for breath like someone who had just fallen from a bungee jump. Even as my head fell back, his fingers, moving in and out of my vagina, changed direction, standing like a comb, persistently stabbing and tormenting my vulva.

“You, crazy, ahh! Ahhh!” “That’s what you get for pissing me off by being alone with another guy.” “What, what did I do! Ugh!” “Don’t you know what kind of relationship you have with the director? What kind of lover wouldn’t be jealous when you go out drinking with the guy you went on a blind date with and then move to another place alone? Huh?”

He interrogated me with hot eyes, as if he had been wanting to do this all along.

His cock, rubbing between my thighs, was so red it was almost black. That endlessly bulging thing, it seemed like it would burst if I grabbed it and gave it a little push, it had been held back for so long. Even a heated iron rod wouldn’t be this hot. The erection, filled with accumulated excitement, dripped with pre-cum as if it would ejaculate at any moment, pushed aside the clitoral hood covering my vulva, and thrust its head in.

My vaginal walls split open as if breaking, and the glans, passing through the entrance like a tollgate, filled the passage, scratching everywhere. This tight sense of fulfillment, the heart-numbing pressure, I, gasping from the overdose of stimulation, buried my face in his neck and breathed roughly.

Even though he talks like that, Choi Si-baek fills me with love, dick, and everything else.

Even as my body and mind were crushed by him, I foolishly cried, laughed, and gasped.

Even in the midst of this, he put his hand behind my back to support me, stroking my back and helping me regain my breath.

Maybe it’s because of the little bit of alcohol, but just having his cock inside me made me feel so much pleasure that my head spun. The horn pillar, filling the hole to the point of bursting, the blood vessels rubbing up and down, were overwhelmingly stimulating. I started running, wearing a skirt awkwardly without panties and a shirt open without a bra.

“Haa... ahh... ah!”

When I tried to kiss him, he stubbornly twisted his head away.

It was obvious he was doing it on purpose. He knew better than anyone how easily I crumbled with his kisses. Since we started dating, he had shed the iron wall he always wore, at least for me. Everything was crumbling for me alone, and he was being honest for me alone.

His side that no one but me knew.

Honestly, I liked that too, so I didn’t completely dislike the fact that he was jealous now.

He was making an expression that seemed to say, “I seem to be doing only good things for you,” as if he had noticed me.

Since I had gotten used to kissing while he was thrusting, just hugging his neck and doing the up-and-down motion made my desire for him grow.

The phallus, soaking in my vagina, was swelling more and more, and the glans, buried deep inside my cervix, were gnawing at my deep spot, making me feel like I was about to faint, and tears welled up. A drop escaped my urethra and flowed down, and even in this situation, I was shamelessly wetting his balls, which was so good.

My lips, with nowhere to go, wandered around his neck, and eventually, I bit and held onto my lower lip tightly. It’s all because of Choi Si-baek, who trained me like this.

“Huu.” “You’d beg for kisses like this in front of that guy too, wouldn’t you? Huh.” “No, I wouldn’t, ahh! Ah! No, I wouldn’t, ah! Ah!”

He, who was now grabbing and shaking my ass vigorously, was also biting his lip. Even with his eyebrows twisted in anger, Choi Si-baek was still handsome and sexy, so I watched him again. Even as moans escaped uncontrollably, I bit my lower lip tightly. When my lip was so chewed up that it was soft, he finally put his finger in to pry it open and gently stroked the edge of my lip.

“That’s enough.” “Is it all right to drive me crazy and then run away?” “Hoo, ah! Kiss, quickly.”

Having sex with him without kissing felt like being punished by him. It was so good, and my body was reacting honestly, but it felt like he was punishing me. A man who said he never had sex without kissing was now giving me only his dick without giving me his lips, and I was about to go crazy.

Choi Si-baek knew that Seok-woo and I were nothing special.

“Tell me quickly that you won’t see him again.” “Stop, going, to the hospital, huh? Ah, ah!” “Then you’re going to crawl back into that hospital?” “Ahh! No, ah! Ah! Wait, ah!”

Before I could answer, he shook my ass mercilessly. My lower mouth was being shaken back and forth, quickly chewing the dick he had planted in my center.

He was busy ramming his raw dick with his chewing muscles, completely forgetting that this was a parking lot. I, unable to swallow all the stimulation he was pouring into me, ended up screaming so loud that the parking lot would have heard. Choi Si-baek, his eyes turned upside down with jealousy, and me, secretly feeling exhilarated by the jealousy he couldn’t hide. It wasn’t a matter of right or wrong. It was simply a matter of each other.

His glans, which had been hitting the bottom of my cervix and lifting my intertwined uterus, finally hit my deep spot properly. A few more thrusts from him, hitting me properly, sent me wandering through a strange world where the world was constantly turning upside down.

“Ahhh!”

My vision went dark, and I heard a ringing in my ears. In a world where I couldn’t hear or see anything, I was using his breath as a guide, and then something thick and moist penetrated my parted teeth.

Then, like a puzzle piece, our lips fit together perfectly, without any gaps.

As if a floodgate had opened, his tongue entered and took its place inside me, and a wave-like climax swallowed me whole. As my lower abdomen tightened madly from the unexpected climax, something thick was ejaculated inside me as well.

Nevertheless, we didn’t part our lips and focused only on the kiss. Two tongues, soaked with lust, intertwined, making lewd noises as if they were melting this bursting heart. It was so wet that it sounded like it was coming from a damp back room of a motel. But it was incredibly delicious. All of that was clearly love.

Then, as we parted our lips and stared blankly at the drool, what he said was a spectacle.

“Did you enjoy facing that guy?”

Can I just faint?

“Are you going to see him again, or not?”

“......”

“Answer me quickly, before I lose it completely.”

“I don’t know.”

“You...”

I watched him, pretending not to notice that he was suppressing his anger.

It was also secretly thrilling to see him lose his composure because of me.

I guess I wasn’t completely normal either.

Bound together in the category of love, we were helpless in this game where we were each other’s only answer. A game where you hold the answers to all my questions, and I can fulfill all your desires. A stage where neither of us can advance a step without the other, a stage with an obvious answer.

Even though we knew that we only had to answer the predetermined question, we went around in circles, got hurt, and yet, we were miserable because it wasn’t you, but in the end, it had to be you.

“Are you really going to do this?”

Knowing that I was the cause of his suffering, I was also the only one who could provide the answer.

A man who was always composed and calm was now urging me to give him my love, with a face that demanded an immediate answer.

I hugged us tightly, wanting us to become meaningful pieces to each other, bound by the same image.

After a long while, I finally managed to get up, my body heavy. I had collapsed as soon as I entered his house, and it seemed like I had slept for at least three hours since then. It was already past midnight. When I threw off the blanket I was wrapped in and came out, it was excessively quiet.

The space, already white and empty, felt overwhelmingly empty without him.

It seemed he had gone out again to take care of work, leaving me behind. Now, his presence was practically the entirety of my world, so I could tell whether he was in the same space or not without having to look for him.

I turned on the TV, lay down on the sofa, and aimlessly flipped through the channels, then looked at my phone. There were no messages. He probably didn’t contact me so I could sleep soundly.

I thought about calling him, but decided against it. I didn’t want to disturb him while he was working either.

I aimlessly opened the refrigerator, looked into the cupboards, sprayed perfume in the empty dressing room, and then came back to the living room after doing useless things.

Why do I miss him so much?

When I see him again, I’ll tell him that my world has been filled with Choi Si-baek for a long time, with some cheesy talk.

It’s not like it’s a big deal.

I’ll tell him the things I couldn’t tell him earlier. I repeated these promises to myself as I wandered around the living room.

I was a little hungry and headed to the kitchen, but then remembered that there wasn’t much in the refrigerator, so I gave up on that too.

I aimlessly scrolled through social media and then browsed the web, which I wasn’t even interested in, when I heard the sound of the password being entered at the front door. I put aside what I was looking at and headed to the entrance.

Choi Si-baek, holding something in one hand, was coming in.

“You’re awake. Wait here. I got you some sweet and sour pork, which you like...”

I couldn’t hold back any longer and hugged him tightly. I nestled deeply into his arms.

His hand brushed my earlobe and settled on my neck.

“...I smell like you, Seo Jae-yeon.”

“I love you.”

I couldn’t contain his overflowing love, and I stood on the feelings that were endlessly pouring down beneath my feet. I was heartbroken because it was too precious, but he hugged me tightly as if he would give me his unchanging sincerity, no matter how much it overflowed.

We were holding onto each other, fiercely navigating another season.

Our season that we loved dearly.