Chapter 65: Accumulation

Then came a full day of cramming.

At twenty years old, Yin Mengxi finally experienced the struggles of being an underachiever in her junior year. Hunched over in the library, she wasn’t so much preparing for exams as praying for miracles—hoping to master everything within 24 hours. Xiao Zhi had returned to campus specifically to keep her company. They sat together studying, just like before. The difference was that he was still writing papers destined for top-tier academic journals, while her goal had shifted from “aiming for A’s in every course” to “just don’t fail.”

She flipped through her books frantically, but countless terms were hard to cram into her brain in such a short time. Encountering unfamiliar concepts only made things worse. After all, she’d skipped so many classes this semester and lacked decent notes. Her only recourse was to search online repeatedly, careful not to let him notice her browsing encyclopedias.

Her phone buzzed intermittently—colleagues from the station contacting her about post-production matters. Occasionally glancing at it, she eventually drew his attention when he lightly tapped her desk, reminding her to focus on studying. She quickly set her phone aside, feeling increasingly tense. What was once a sweet and joyful experience—studying together in the library—now felt somewhat torturous.

After forcing herself to study late into the night, she finally completed her last two exams the next day.

Many topics she hadn’t reviewed, and even those she had seen while flipping through her books eluded her memory during the test. In desperation, she filled the answer sheets with whatever came to mind, hoping the sheer volume of text might earn her some pity points from the teacher.

Just don’t fail… even a B- or C would suffice…

This thought felt degenerate. Wasn’t she supposed to be the outstanding student who won first-class scholarships? The sense of emptiness continued to fester. Perhaps this was when her self-doubt began to take root.

Fortunately, the days following the exams were relatively pleasant.

Her internship had wrapped up, and he had returned to the country. They went on dates daily—eating, watching movies, visiting various interesting exhibitions. Their intimacy remained intact—they held hands constantly, shared drinks from the same cup, and exchanged kisses, mostly brief and gentle, when he dropped her off at her dormitory, unlike the passionate ones from before.

…Was this normal?

“Of course not!”

Min Rui, who hadn’t left campus after finishing her exams, earnestly analyzed the situation.

“You’ve been apart for half a year. When you reunite, shouldn’t it be like dry wood meeting fire? Even if Xiao Zhi is a godlike figure, he’s still a man. How can men not have those desires?”

“This isn’t normal! Yin Hehe, you need to take this seriously!”

Yin Mengxi also found it abnormal. Over these days, a subtle distance lingered between them. She longed for their previous state of inseparable affection—when he used to kiss her frequently and passionately.

“So… what should I do?” She was already panicking, unsure of the problem’s source or how to resolve it. “He’ll leave again soon…”

Moreover, she hadn’t been home in a year. With the upcoming Spring Festival, their time together would inevitably decrease.

“Well, what else can you do?” Min Rui smirked knowingly, crossing her arms. “Seduce him!”

“Let me emphasize this again—men are fundamentally the same. Drop a hint, and they’ll fall for it easily. Once you do that, your awkwardness will disappear, and you’ll be sweet and inseparable again.”

“Shall we go shopping, sis? I’ll help you pick out some sexy lingerie?”

…No, thanks.

Yin Mengxi lacked the courage to wear sexy lingerie and seduce anyone. However, her desire to restore their passionate relationship was strong. Subconsciously, she tried to dispel her underlying insecurity. Taking Min Rui’s advice to heart, she decided to muster the courage to give her boyfriend a hint.

Easier said than done. With her thin skin, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything during their usual dates. How could she? Under the bright sky and clear daylight, how could she directly suggest…?

It was maddening.

After much deliberation, she devised a plan. She called him, claiming she’d left a pair of headphones at his place last semester and asked if he could bring them when they met for dinner. Naturally, he agreed to retrieve them. Meanwhile, instead of heading to the restaurant, she sneaked into his apartment early to wait for him.

He had given her a key before leaving for abroad, saying she could stay there if she encountered any special circumstances. She’d visited a few times when returning late from internships and missing curfew. This time, she arrived smoothly at four in the afternoon, lit romantic scented candles, applied heavier makeup than usual, and, after getting ready, rummaged through his wardrobe for one of his shirts. Changing into it, her face flushed red, marveling at her audacity today.

Nervous and excited, she waited in the apartment for over an hour, imagining his reaction upon seeing her like this. Would he be purely surprised? Or… would he show some admiration? She remembered his different gaze when she wore his shirt last time—it was more intense, more…

Sigh.

So embarrassing.

She patiently waited on the couch. At around six-thirty, she finally heard footsteps approaching the door—it must be him. Suppressing a smile, she thought how punctual he was. Playfully, she tiptoed to the door, planning to jump into his arms and startle him as soon as he opened it.

Click.

The key turned in the lock, and as the door cracked open, her smile couldn’t be contained. She sprang out from behind the door, ready to leap into her boyfriend’s arms—but realized another person had entered with him. A dignified, elegant middle-aged woman stood beside him, looking utterly astonished.

It was…

…his mother.

How could one describe Yin Mengxi’s feelings at that moment?

“Awkward”?

That was too mild. Amplify its meaning tenfold, and it still wouldn’t capture even one percent of her distress—not only unexpectedly appearing in someone’s home but also wearing their son’s clothes with bare legs… Who would have a good impression of such a girl? Especially considering Xiao Zhi’s mother was a composed and respectable university professor!

Yin Mengxi couldn’t recall her expression then. Her face burned hot, likely alternating between red and pale. Desperately wishing for a crack in the ground to swallow her whole, she stood frozen, enduring their scrutiny.

Xiao Zhi probably didn’t expect this scene either. After a brief shock, he quickly reacted by shielding Yin Mengxi behind him. Turning back, he gently urged her, “Go change your clothes in the room…”

His tone carried a soothing gentleness.

But she couldn’t move past her embarrassment. Nodding awkwardly, she managed a stiff bow to Xiao’s mother, avoiding eye contact entirely. Rushing into the room and shutting the door behind her, her emotions collapsed. Leaning against the wall, she buried her face in her arms and cried.

Sigh.

Why… why did things turn out like this?

About ten minutes later, Xiao Zhi knocked on her door.

She remained silent, still sitting on the floor, but dared not cry anymore, hurriedly wiping her eyes. After a pause, he knocked again, his voice softer, “Xiao Xi?”

Hearing no response, he tentatively turned the doorknob. The room was pitch black except for the faint light from outside. Seeing her sitting on the floor, calling her name elicited no reply. He sighed, lifting her onto the bed.

He didn’t turn on the lights, perhaps aware she had cried and didn’t want to be seen. Sitting beside her in the dim light, he gently touched her head, whispering, “My mom has gone home. You don’t need to feel pressured…”

Don’t feel pressured…

How was that possible?

He had mentioned introducing her to his parents multiple times, but she always declined, fearing she wasn’t good enough and would be looked down upon. This semester, she had worked tirelessly, sacrificing her sleep and grades, all to become better and gain their approval.

Now? Being seen in such a disheveled state, what would the elders think? Surely, they’d label her as some frivolous, improper girl.

Feeling even more wronged yet too ashamed to cry, she struggled to hold back tears, adjusting her breathing. After a while, she asked, “…What did Auntie say?”

“No,” he replied quickly, which made it sound less genuine. “She just came to pick up a few books today and left immediately… Don’t overthink it.”

What about the latter part?

Changing the subject?

Her despair deepened. Sitting on the bed hugging her legs, she remained silent. He sighed again, slowly pulling her into his embrace.

“I’m sorry…” he apologized, admitting to a non-existent fault. “I didn’t know you’d come today…”

—How was this his fault?

She had deceived him, and now this mess was entirely her doing.

Both fell silent. The room grew slightly cold. He tucked her into the blanket, then carefully chose his words, “I’ll go home to explain to my parents… I’ll return later and bring you dinner?”

Explain…

Explain what?

That she wasn’t some frivolous bad girl? That they were genuinely in love?

And what would he do when he returned? Comfort her? Or awkwardly complete what she had initially intended tonight?

She had lost all those romantic thoughts. Initially wanting to bridge the gap between them, she had instead botched everything, leaving him to clean up the mess… Enough. She had no face to confront him. Bowing her head, she muttered a soft “okay,” her voice barely audible like a dying mosquito at the end of autumn.

He seemed to want to say more, but her refusal to communicate left him helpless. Ultimately, he kissed her forehead softly in the darkness before leaving the room, gently closing the door behind him.

She sat in the dark, lost in thought, hearing the faint click of the front door opening and closing.

“Click.”

…He was gone.

________________________________________

Author’s Note:

(Whispering: Probably three or four chapters left until the breakup.)