15. Lingering Heat

Three months had passed since the summer of unusually intense heat waves.

After that incident, Song-ah transferred academies. It was an academy not far from Kim Jong-seop’s house.

Although the season had turned to autumn, the lingering heat continued, making the midday still sweltering.

The unrelenting heat made the stuffy classroom, packed with students, unbearable. Regardless of the air conditioning, the sweat-filled classroom was hard to breathe in.

Song-ah, descending the stairs, spotted Kim Jong-seop standing at the academy building entrance.

After a moment of hesitation, she approached, and he kindly opened the passenger door. Kim Jong-seop wasn’t entirely self-centered. He would open the car door, cut her steak into bite-sized pieces, or bring bags full of her favorite foods before coming home. Even when he barged into her house and had sex until she was sore, he showed meticulous attention to these small things.

When they were in the bathroom together, he would stand behind her, acting as a support to prevent her from falling. If she picked up a knife to make a simple snack, he would frown and take it away. But when they had sex, he would lose his mind and push her to the limit. Even when she cried, drooling, that her lower body was broken and she couldn’t get pregnant, he wouldn’t let up.

He acted like he couldn’t hear anything, even as her urine spurted out, insisting he would get her pregnant.

People were multifaceted. Even he, who could be described as a beast, a scoundrel, or anything in between, seemed to be human.

“Is that bastard, Kim Dong-jeong or whatever, still trying to get into your pants?”

“After what you did, would he even dare to talk to me?”

He had a tendency to exaggerate. Just because a guy had asked for her phone number once, in his mind, that guy, Young Dong-jeong, was a lowlife who had tried to sleep with her. That’s how he put it. A pathetic loser who went around asking for numbers, dangling his fire, trying to lick a woman’s pussy, or a cheap thug who drooled over natural breasts, trying to stick his dick in.

In her eyes, he was just a smoker who rode a motorcycle and liked to hang out with girls, a typical twenty-year-old. But he had become the man Kim Jong-seop described.

“What kind of name is ‘virgin’? His face looks like a dirty rag, he should just suck dicks.”

The guy, Young Dong-jeong, who had tried to get her number, almost got killed. She barely stopped him from dragging the guy by the hair and let him escape. Thanks to the guy who had tried to hit on her and barely escaped, she was publicly known as a girl with a boyfriend, and thankfully or unfortunately, her life at the academy was peaceful.

“He doesn’t even come near me, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Then you should take better care of your pussy so I don’t have to worry. Every guy who sees you wants to touch your tits, their eyes turning red.”

It hadn’t even been two weeks since that incident. The academy elevator broke down, trapping her for an hour with a man she didn’t know, whether it was due to the sweltering heat or a mechanical failure.

Since she hadn’t contacted him even though it was late, Kim Jong-seop naturally called. When she explained the situation, he came running like a mad horse with his tail on fire and started banging on the elevator. That’s when the problem started. The power went out, and the elevator went dark, which made her a little scared. It wasn’t that she was afraid of the elevator stopping or being trapped in a small space, but she was afraid of the pitch-black darkness. She hugged her arms tightly, trying to calm herself down.

She was trembling, barely responding to the man next to her who asked if she was okay, when she heard a voice from outside.

“Sir, you shouldn’t bang on the elevator like that.”

“Fuck, are you not moving?”

“It’s more dangerous if you bang on it.”

She heard a brief argument between the building security guard and Kim Jong-seop, and he sighed repeatedly in frustration at the guard’s warning that banging was dangerous.

“You fucking bastard, if you touch Yoon Song-ah, I’ll peel your dick off and eat it raw. You fucking can’t take your dick off Yoon Song-ah, can you?”

He gave a terrifying warning to the man next to her. The noisy outside instantly became quiet at Kim Jong-seop’s words. She didn’t have to see it to know how people were looking at Kim Jong-seop. After about an hour, the elevator doors finally opened, and she still couldn’t forget the look in Kim Jong-seop’s eyes.

Why did she feel like she saw his heart then? Ironically, his distorted eyes, those unfamiliar pupils, looked like a child who had lost the love he thought he had.

After expressing his feelings, he acted even more recklessly, but he was clumsy at expressing himself, making it hard to understand his heart. It was the first time she had seen his heart with her own eyes. It might have been her imagination, but that’s how she felt.

She thought he would take care of the man next to her first, but he hugged her tightly, as if clutching the returned love.

“You said you’d protect me, I guess you meant it this time.” She wanted to ask, but she couldn’t.

At least at that moment when he was hugging her, he seemed sincere.

Song-ah, recalling that day, opened her mouth.

“Turn left here.”

“Do we really have to do this kind of thing?”

“These are things normal people do.”

She had finally escaped the bedroom after demanding they have a normal date instead of just sex. It was something they had started recently.

It felt a little strange to call it a date. But it would be strange not to call these outings dates. They had been trying out typical dates for a week now. Otherwise, she felt like her day would end with just sex in the bedroom.

Waiting in line at a famous restaurant, going to a trendy bar for cocktails, visiting an exhibition, etc. Of course, he didn’t seem very happy about it. At first, he tried to light a cigarette in a cafe and got kicked out. She knew he would smoke anywhere, inside or outside. It took a lot of effort to go out with him. Of course, she couldn’t handle his aftermath.

People were weaker than expected in front of strong people. Strong to the weak. It was an emotion she had never felt in her life. Someone becoming weak in front of her. Someone apologizing when she was the one at fault.

After a tumultuous meal, the real ordeal began.

The last part of the date was, of course, sex, and the problem was that he didn’t care about the location. On the day they drank beer at a pub, they had sex in the shopping mall bathroom while she peed, had sex in the car after eating, and put her in various difficult situations by having sex in various ways. Kim Jong-seop always made her say, “Let’s just go home.”

Of course, he didn’t go home obediently. When she threatened to not let him touch her outside again, he just stared at her face all day during the date yesterday. When she told him to stop looking and eat, he stabbed the veal steak with a fork and ate it in chunks, still looking at her.

His ridiculous behavior made her laugh, sigh, and confused her.

Kim Jong-seop, who had been suppressing his urges to accommodate her, completely unleashed himself during sex. He must have been having a hard time suppressing something that didn’t suit his personality.

In truth, Song-ah didn’t have a hobby of deliberately going to the cinema. She didn’t dislike movies, but cinemas weren’t exactly comfortable places for her. When she was kicked out of her house and had nowhere to go, she often watched movies at the cinema, feigning a hobby she didn’t truly have. Since then, she had come to dislike cinemas.

Throughout the movie, Kim Jong-seop, arms crossed, only watched Song-ah, who was trying to focus on the screen.

Her eyes facing the screen, her nose and lips occasionally hissing as she breathed warm air, her cheeks. His gaze was so blatant that she could fully feel where it landed. What was the point of coming here?

Whether she was at home, in the cinema, or anywhere else, the location was meaningless.

Unable to concentrate, she simply rolled her eyes, and then his hand slid into her space from the darkness. Startled, she felt his familiar touch as his hand moved to her thigh, then inside, rubbing the entrance that always struggled to accommodate him. It seemed as if he would insert his hand into her panties at any moment.

“Why, why are you doing this? What if someone sees?”

She whispered, their bodies close. There were no people on either side, but the auditorium was about half full.

“Please. Let’s do it at home later.”

She urgently grabbed his arm. There were quite a few eyes watching nearby. His gaze, looking at her clinging to him, was as deep as a calm wave, without any agitation. She had to soothe him with her words while cursing him in her mind. He didn’t care about other people’s eyes.

“Huh? Let’s go home, instead.”

Now, she was the one clinging to him. Did he have to push the situation this far to be satisfied? Just as she was about to burst with resentment and anger, he scoffed.

“I don’t want to. It’s more fun to be cramped in here than at home, why?”

He smiled silently, watching her tremble. He was like a devil, drooling as he waited to devour her. A ghost from hell. As soon as he moved his body, Song-ah seized the opportunity and left the cinema. Wherever they went, they continued their abnormal, somewhat strange, and yet special dates.

Song-ah was the one who came up with ideas, as Kim Jong-seop had never experienced a normal relationship, but Kim Jong-seop was the one who took the lead. The initiative was definitely his, but she was so used to it that she didn’t even find it strange.

Afraid that he would drag her to the bathroom and make her miscarry, she almost ran into the elevator. It was strange for him to just watch her do as she pleased, and that made her even more scared.

Kim Jong-seop sneered, looking at her with incomprehension as he drove.

“This is what normal people call a date?”

As expected, he was pessimistic about having to watch a movie with her.

He couldn’t understand the act of watching a screen when there was someone else to focus on.

“Yes. That’s what normal people do.”

Although the movie with its predictable plot was incredibly boring, Song-ah answered shamelessly. It wasn’t likely that Kim Jong-seop would have gone to see a movie to date a woman. He would probably gather women who looked like movie stars in one room and have a gangbang.

“How is what we’re doing any different?”

“It’s different, of course.”

How could spending all their energy in a room having sex be the same as spending time on normal entertainment?

“Whether we’re fucking, watching a movie, or eating, I’m just looking at you.”

Song-ah was taken aback by his unexpected words.

He was completely sincere. He wasn’t the type to be kind enough to soothe others with insincere words.

“No, it’s not. It’s not like you can only look and not touch, like some cultural artifact. What kind of date is this? Do you enjoy sitting people down and watching other women?”

He was talking about when she suggested sitting in a cafe, quietly watching people, and enjoying tea time.

Unlike Song-ah, who enjoyed quiet hobbies, Jong-seop, who wanted to be physically close and do everything together, seemed to be upset. Although she knew this, she proposed normal dates to him, treating it as if she were taming a beast. The conclusion was her crushing defeat.

“They say anything is fun with someone you like, I guess you don’t like me, Mr. Kim Jong-seop.”

Honk! Honk!

A deafeningly loud horn sounded. Startled, she covered her ears.

“That fucking piece of shit is cutting in. Did he eat a dog’s balls? He’s just crawling around. I should put some marbles in his throat to wake him up, you bitches. What did you say?”

She instinctively knew that the last question was directed at her.

“...Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

Song-ah let out a small sigh as he pressed her.

“So, what do you want to do this time?”

“You’re going to be looking at me anyway, no matter what we do.”

“Why? Some of them were kind of interesting. Keep talking.”

He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, then rolled down the window. The acrid cigarette smoke drifted out, and fresh air rushed in. As familiar outside noises flowed into the quiet space, he casually threw away the cigarette and rolled up the window. He particularly disliked anything coming between them. He was always sensitive, but he was acting unusually so.

“I don’t know anymore. You said meat has to be chewed and sex has to be had to taste good. Only those who know how to play can play. And what’s the point of doing more? The end will be sex anyway.”

“Your period?”

“...Not yet.”

“If you’ve secretly taken pills again, I’ll suck your pussy to get them all out.”

“It’s the back, not the front. And it’ll all be absorbed before it comes out as poop.”

“You fucking want to be unnecessarily logical?”

Recently, she had been caught taking birth control pills, and they were taken away. Since then, she had been subjected to daily luggage checks, and someone was even assigned to monitor everything she put in her mouth. Her menstrual cycle was irregular, so they couldn’t accurately calculate her pregnancy, which made it worse. It had been weeks since she had taken any pills.

She was already anxious because her period was late this month.

He wouldn’t let her take birth control pills, let alone emergency contraception, and she couldn’t go anywhere even if she wanted to leave him. Why was he acting so anxious?

He was excessively persistent. Sometimes, he was scarier than the horror movies she hated.

She’d rather it happened after the college entrance exam…. She worried about a form that might suddenly appear, unprepared, while she nervously fidgeted with her fingertips.

Song-ah thought of the birth control pills she had bought at the pharmacy today and swallowed dry saliva. She wondered if even Kim Jong-seop would notice if she said her menstrual cycle was irregular. Even though she wasn’t pregnant, her heart pounded as if a storm had blown into it. Compared to Yoon Hyung-woo, who didn’t bat an eye while handling large sums of illegal gambling funds, she felt like a serious criminal for merely hiding a single pill.

Given who he was, it was better to be cautious.

“Please drop me off at the convenience store here.”

“Why?”

“I need to buy a notebook.”

“They sell those at convenience stores?”

“Yes. They don’t just sell condoms and cigarettes.”

“I’ve never bought condoms.”

“I know because I’ve seen them sold. Oh, just a moment.”

As soon as the car pulled over to the side of the road, Song-ah went into the convenience store. She quickly picked out a pen and a notebook and bought a pregnancy test. As she put them in a bag and came out of the store, Kim Jong-seop, who couldn’t wait, was outside smoking.

“Yoon Song-ah?”

Blocking the space between Kim Jong-seop and her was a familiar face. A face she had recently forgotten, or almost forgotten. A face she would have been happy to forget.

The woman, who seemed to be heading into the convenience store, stopped and stared at her with a strange expression, unlike her past self who would have immediately lashed out.

It was the face that had tormented her throughout her school years. Her hair seemed to be longer than the last time they had met by chance. She didn’t want to run into her, even by accident, but now, perhaps having attained a sense of detachment, she didn’t feel as annoyed even when facing her.

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

“What?”

Her gaze was still disdainful, but her calm tone didn’t reveal the usual contempt.

It was both funny and sad that this was the most normal conversation they had had in the past four years of knowing each other.

“Those guys and your father back then… did you have something to do with it?”

“What are you talking about?”

Unintelligible words followed, but Song-ah didn’t bother to ask further.

“Well, it’s not like you have some powerful backing to take down those guys and my father, who runs a small business. It doesn’t make sense. Never mind.”

“What… you, what… never mind,” she said, not forgetting to sprinkle her words with mockery and scorn.

As if to say, “You’re not capable of doing something like that.”

“If you have something to say, say it clearly.”

“It’s nothing.”

She didn’t want to argue anymore. She hadn’t expected an apology in the first place, so there was no room for disappointment.

The girl brushed past her and went into the convenience store. When the obstruction disappeared, Kim Jong-seop, standing crookedly, came into view. Song-ah gripped the plastic bag tightly and walked towards him.

Then, a thought occurred to her.

She didn’t know what circumstances had led her to say those things, but a small suspicion sprouted that Kim Jong-seop might be behind it all. But why would he take revenge for what happened back then? Even though she knew it was unlikely, the suspicion kept growing. She felt like she was about to sing the national anthem with all four verses, so she casually threw out a probing question.

“Kim Jong-seop… is this your doing? Why did you leave her alone? You’re not the type to spare someone just because they’re a woman.”

“Her dad’s been eating my money lately, cleaning up my messes. He’s got so much debt, it’s coming out of his ass.”

Kim Jong-seop’s eyes flashed as he spoke. Like a vicious beast about to hunt down an interesting prey. She wondered what unfortunate person had fallen into Kim Jong-seop’s clutches this time. But then again, there were so many people whose lives had been ruined by him.

“So, you knew her dad before?”

“We did some business. Isn’t everyone in need of money? People will even suck their own father’s balls for money. Do you know how many guys lift their daughters’ skirts to pay off interest? Not that I’m going to touch her.”

He said that, but Song-ah knew why Kim Jong-seop had targeted her.

“Do I only get hard for you? I’m starting to seriously doubt if my dick’s broken.”

“…I’m sure it’s not, so don’t worry about it.”

He chuckled. Song-ah was struggling to keep up with him, who was always one step ahead.

“You look pretty when you smile. Let’s go. It’s been 14 hours since I came. My balls are about to burst.”

“I need to study. I have to review today’s material….”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re going to have sex, so spread your legs as soon as we get in.”

Song-ah gripped the hem of her skirt and turned her gaze out the car window. She didn’t know that Kim Jong-seop had taken care of the men who had done this to her wrists. She had tried to forget the pain and erase it from her memory, pretending it never happened. She thought it was enough that she had beaten them up too, and that since she had been beaten before, she should just forget about it.

But Kim Jong-seop hadn’t forgotten or forgiven her pain.

It felt like he was carrying the burden of her wounds, which she had tried to erase. There was no need to take it so grandly, but Song-ah felt strangely moved.

“You didn’t have to go that far. Please don’t do it anymore. I don’t like her either, but there’s no need to go this far….”

“What the fuck are you talking about? After seeing what she did to you? If someone slaps your right cheek, you slap their left cheek four times. Got it? I’m holding back from wanting to burn all her hair off right now. If it were anyone else, her head would be a bald patch by now. What the fuck is wrong with her? Friends should get along, the bitch.”

“I don’t think you’re in a position to say that.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. After all, the pot calling the kettle black. His words were always full of contradictions. He stared at her as she couldn’t stop laughing while he was driving.

“…You’ll cause an accident.”

“I know. Don’t worry. You won’t die alone.”

Why did she think that she wouldn’t feel lonely even if she died, as long as it was with him?

At least she wouldn’t feel wronged. That’s what she thought.

She knew she was going crazy. Kim Jong-seop had turned her into this.

He had made it impossible for her to think rationally.