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The days were still gray, with rain falling and stopping repeatedly.
Song-ah had slept a very long sleep. After a long time, she had a deep sleep in a profound silence without even a dream.
Though it wasn’t that long ago, her memory, like flipping through a dusty old book, recalled that night she wandered about two years ago.
That day she was running away from Lee Sang-heon’s grasp, half-undressed, that day she ran and ran trying to escape. A man popped out of a car that rammed into her body with a thud. Before she could even take care of her cold feet, she tried to run, but her arm was grabbed.
“Hey, kid. Why is she so jumpy?”
The man who got out of the driver’s seat had a familiar face, one she saw often and clearly.
Kim Jong-seop. His brow furrowed slightly as he looked down at her feet, blackened by the sleet.
“Jong-seop, can you take her to the hospital?”
The man who came out of the back seat, smoking a cigarette, said that. And what did Kim Jong-seop reply? A small sigh came first.
“Yes, brother.”
Then someone else spoke.
“Director, you’re not going to leave her here, are you? It looks like something happened.”
A woman with a round face and black eyes came out of the back seat and looked at her.
“Jung Cha-eon, get in. It’s cold.”
The woman with the warm muffler stared at her for a while and then got back into the car.
She couldn’t even guess how long she had been running. She collapsed as if fainting, and the man grabbed and held her up.
“Hey! Fuck, what’s wrong with her? Pretty, wake up.”
Fuck, are they insurance scammers? The voice faded away. And she woke up in the emergency room.
In her blurry vision, she saw a back talking on the phone.
“I don’t know. The big boss told me to come see if she woke up because the sister-in-law is worried. Anyway, the boss is completely devoted to Jung Cha-eon’s words. I don’t know what he’s doing. The boss, too, he’s doing a lot of things he didn’t used to do after meeting Jung Cha-eon. Anyway, it’s been 78 hours and 35 minutes since I fucked. My dick is itching to death. Should I drink? What do you think? Can’t you come up with something productive? Can’t you calculate it right? You’re talking a lot of bullshit. No, I’m going soon. I have to go, but she’s not waking up, oh, hey, hey, hang up. She’s awake.”
The man who hung up the phone came over and said.
“Pretty, are you okay? Did your dad beat you? I can’t solve that, go to the cops. Got it? Pretty, you fucking are.”
After checking her condition, he settled the bill and left. His last words were that he had left his contact information at the hospital, so to call if anything happened.
Of course, she didn’t contact him after that.
She saw a pair of shoes on the floor. They looked new, but she didn’t know who had bought them, so she went home without asking. Now that she was thinking about it, he might have told his subordinate to buy them.
Song-ah opened her eyes. She didn’t know how much time had passed, how many times day and night had changed, or how many times sunlight had shone into this hospital room. Her last memory was the face of the man thrusting his dick at her, and herself and Lee Sang-heon bleeding.
She closed her eyes again. The sound of someone opening the hospital room door, the familiar scent of perfume, and the faint smell of cigarettes.
“Oh, I don’t know, the hospital. I have to go up today anyway. The boss is coming. I have to go now. If I don’t sew up Cha Geon-ju’s mouth... Shut up, you crazy bastard. Just come when I tell you to. Can you handle it with your brother-in-law’s name? It’s because I don’t trust either your brother-in-law’s name or you that I’m telling you two to watch each other. Who knows, you might spread the sick kid’s legs and stick your dick in. Stop talking nonsense and come quickly. What’s so boring about three hours? You can come while fucking. Three hours is enough to go through two girls, at least. I’d have to see your erection and semen volume to calculate it accurately. What are you talking about, you crazy bastard? You’re so full of yourself. Go ahead and call more, do whatever you want. Just don’t spill cum in the car. What nonsense. Is our Song-ah’s pee the same as those bitches’ cum? Oh, hang up. You’re disgusting.”
A hand came over and touched her disheveled hair, then closed the curtains to block the sunlight.
The disconnected phone call, the slightly calmed breathing, the small sigh that followed. Everything was a little familiar. Kim Jong-seop. He seemed to have been here for a very long time. It felt familiar to see him looking down at her here for days.
He opened the door and left. The sound of the door closing with a click. She opened her eyes again, feeling the emptiness of his absence.
The empty hospital room was too quiet, a little scary. Even though Lee Sang-heon wouldn’t come back, why was she shaking so much?
The unknown fear pressed down on her with more pain than the deep wound in her vein.
Thwack, thwack. Thwack, thwack.
Jong-seop gritted his teeth at the punches to his cheek.
As expected, it was the boss. The number of blows wasn’t many, but each one carried a lot of power. It was the most painful beating he had received recently.
Kwon-seok, having finished the beating cleanly, put down his rolled-up shirt sleeves, fastened his cuff buttons, and returned to his desk.
“The chairman urgently called me, so I just came in for a moment. Until I leave the country again, get your head straight and come. Why aren’t you answering? Do I have to tear your mouth open?”
“Yes, I will keep that in mind, brother.”
“What kind of woman is she? Is she someone you’re going to live with? Is that why you’re acting like this? Did you get her pregnant?”
Jong-seop felt his sore jaw with his fingertips and answered.
“That’s in the plans. I think it will happen soon.”
“If you did, you did. What do you mean, you think it will happen?”
“She’s started not taking birth control pills, so she’ll get pregnant soon. I’ll tell you when she gets pregnant.”
“Jong-seop, I’m scared when you’re serious.”
Kwon-seok bit on a cigarette and lit his Zippo lighter. The red flame quickly burned and smoldered.
“Are you going to imprison her if she gets pregnant first?”
“If I can. Would she bite her tongue if she was pregnant?”
Kwon-seok’s sigh deepened. It seemed he had a lot on his mind, not so much because of what I had done, but because I was acting out of character, obsessed with a woman. But then again, so was he. I swallowed the words, thinking I’d get another punch if I said anything. Anyway, the fault was mine.
“The sister-in-law’s due date isn’t far off, please calm down, brother.”
“Anyway, if she can’t even talk, bring her once. Let’s see her face.”
“Brother.”
“Isn’t it because you’re sincere that you’re acting like this? That’s why you messed with Hyun Joong-hyuk and took care of him as you pleased. Do I have to clean up the mess you made now? Huh?”
“I’m sorry, brother.”
“Do you even know what kind of trouble you’ve caused?”
“Yes, brother.”
“Fuck, just bring her when you come to your senses. Do you think I don’t know who our family member will be? Why, do you think I’m going to fuck your woman?”
“Of course not, with the sister-in-law here.”
“Anyway, that bastard wouldn’t have been in his right mind even if he was born with a pussy. But why are you messing with those kids’ assholes? Let me know the reason. The workshop is so noisy with the screams of those ball-less bastards.”
“I was just about to go take care of that. I’ll tell you when I get back.”
The best thing to do was to leave before my brother’s sigh deepened any further. Kwon-seok’s gesture to leave was curt. Jong-seop bowed respectfully and left the office.
Jong-seop smoked, puffing away, looking at the dicks that were all mangled and the assholes that were like beehives. It was quite a sight to see those bastards, their sphincters ruined by days of gang rape, their entire asses covered in shit. If they smeared semen on someone else’s baby’s face, they should have expected this much. Those fucking whiners.
“How was it? Did you have some fun? I even picked out dicks with a special A-grade size. How was it? The dick meat is top-grade, you must have had a good time.”
Jong-seop extinguished the cigarette, which was almost burned out, on the eyelid of a man who was babbling incomprehensible nonsense. The man writhed all over, but with his teeth already mangled and his gums bloody, he was still mouthing something.
“If you wanted a handjob so much, you should have said so. Huh? I would have arranged it right away, you fucking bastard.”
Jong-seop lightly cut off the man’s wrist with a dagger and placed his still wriggling dick in the hand that was still twitching.
“Argh!”
“Why are you acting up again? Oh, are you losing your nerve? You fucking bastard, your pride as a dick is so fucking hurt? Then suck on a trough, you fucking bastard.”
At Jong-seop’s signal, a dark man who had been waiting thrust his dick in. Then, he pushed the raw dick into the gap between the sparsely toothed teeth. Every time the man screamed, he thrust the dick into his throat.
Even in this situation, the area around his mouth, which was sucking on the dick, was covered in saliva.
“Relax. You’re going to do a lot of fun things you’ve never done before. Relax, between professionals.”
Jong-seop chuckled and wiped his hands with a roughly pulled out handkerchief. The various plays that would follow made him happy.
“Hey, Yoon-do, he’s bleeding and crying. Sizzle him a bit. He’s going to die.”
There was still a lot to do, and it would be a shame if he died of excessive bleeding already. Jong-seop happily smoked, feeling as if his stress was finally relieved. Yoon-do, who was always setting up and preparing the bobbi, was put in as if he had been waiting. Listening to the sound of flesh being seared, he blew a long stream of cigarette smoke towards the dark, grimy warehouse ceiling.
Touching Yoon Song-ah was a crime punishable by death, but giving her a facial, fuck. If I had been a little late, her pussy would have been pierced right away. I have no intention of sharing my own thing, which has only received my cum since I took her virginity, with anyone else. Yes, fuck, to be more honest, just thinking about her writhing and receiving another peashooter, not my dick, makes me furious and sends blood pressure to my balls. Thinking about that pretty thing going to another guy makes me feel like years’ worth of anger is hitting me all at once.
I have everything about Yoon Song-ah. The moans she makes when her orgasm exceeds the limit and reaches saturation, the eyes she lifts up, the moans she makes while screaming, the pee she shoots out, the drool she drips from her slightly protruding tongue, the expression of someone who has lost her mind to orgasm, the thought of sharing those things with other dicks made him go crazy.
He would feel good, then feel bad again when he thought of Song-ah, who was covered in semen and closing her eyes, his mood going up and down, it wasn’t even a clock’s pendulum.
Cha Geon-ju, isn’t he going to go crazy and fuck Yoon Song-ah again? I should have called Choi Si-baek, but he’s a guy who would never come, so I called Cha Geon-ju.
His schedule suddenly changed, and he boarded the plane right after his brother left. While waiting for takeoff, he received a report from Hyung-pal that Yoon Song-ah and Kim Jin-han were driving on the highway. He didn’t know what he was thinking, but he dared to put his brother’s business trip aside and rushed out. He still didn’t understand why he made that decision.
Why was Yoon Song-ah so important that he would neglect his duty to serve his brother, or even go so crazy that he would jump out of a plane about to take off?
Yoon Hyung-woo was just a toy to bring Yoon Song-ah to me on his own feet.
A nobody who couldn’t even budge a hair on my head, whether he was there or not.
She was just a woman who would be thrown away when I got tired of her, but I didn’t know why that face, crying and clinging to Lee Sang-heon, grabbed me. Why did she make me so simple that I even forgot about my brother? I didn’t know.
When I arrived at the beach, Hyung-pal was already lying there, beaten up. He had been hit in the back of the head, and his face was down.
It was an important contract for my brother’s business trip, so I had no choice but to leave Hyung-pal instead of Yoon-do, but he couldn’t stand it and caused an accident. Yoon Song-ah.
No, I thought she would be over when I got tired of her.
Even if she was just a woman I played with while touching her breasts, she was still mine.
I’ve been fucking all my life, so I didn’t think there was any need to treat a woman I brought to fuck with any special care. So, I had no reason to feel jealous or anything like that towards a nobody like Hyun Joong-hyuk or a worthless guy like Lee Sang-heon. It was also true that I was lax in monitoring Yoon Song-ah, acting arrogantly.
Why bother with a cum dumpster, why waste time? I used to go in and out of Yoon Song-ah’s house like a whorehouse and say things like that.
I’m doing something ridiculous, ruining my brother’s schedule and smoking at a woman’s ass, my dick burning.
How did it come to this, Kim Jong-seop?
“Why are you looking? It hasn’t been that long since we saw each other.”
“What are you looking at, you bastard? Haven’t you ever seen someone sucking a dog’s tail? Should I stick one in your ass too?”
One of the men who had been glancing at him up and down, suddenly showered with insults, turned pale and ran away.
Song-ah dragged her slippers and walked to the intensive care unit where Jin-han was. She had been told by Cha Geon-ju to stay put, but she couldn’t just sit still. The scene of him being hit in the back of the head, which she had seen with her own eyes, was as clear as a photograph. The surgery was successful, but the prognosis was more important, so they were keeping an eye on him. They had overcome one hurdle, but it was still too early to relax. She heard that he would be transferred to a hospital in Seoul when his condition stabilized.
She didn’t know the details, but thinking that there must be a university hospital with a large amount of Munseong’s capital, she felt reassured again. But when she looked at Jin-han, she became anxious again. Her unpredictable feelings continued like the fickle weather.
The intensive care unit, with its fixed visiting hours, didn’t allow her to stay indefinitely.
As she left the intensive care unit and returned to her hospital room, her legs trembled, and she had to stop several times. She was standing there blankly, holding her forehead, when a hand suddenly touched her shoulder. Startled, she instinctively pushed his arm away with her hand. Geon-ju, surprised by her startled reaction, chuckled.
“How should I interpret this intense reaction? First, you pissed yourself because you thought I was going to fuck you.”
“......”
“Second, I was hungry, so my hand went out on its own. Or maybe.”
“......”
“Third, you were practicing the keyboard. Were you practicing an intense symphony? Oh, or maybe. You don’t like it because it’s not Kim Jong-seop?”
The man, asking as if he had realized something significant, was definitely Kim Jong-seop’s close friend.
The man, who seemed a bit crazy, didn’t hesitate to say strange things. Without waiting for an answer, he nodded as if he had concluded that the last option was correct. Then he stared at her with a calm gaze. The man, who had lost his playful demeanor, even gave off a cold impression. It was as if the words he had spoken earlier, which seemed like jokes, were all an act.
“I think you know what I’m going to say, but don’t be so surprised. Those brothers, no, those guys who were bothering you won’t be coming back. Their name was, Lee Sang-heon, wasn’t it? Those guys.”
She knew. She had seen him being stabbed in the neck with her own eyes.
“Should I say thank you?”
“You don’t have to say it to me, but you should say it to Kim Jong-seop, shouldn’t you? He went crazy for you, canceled his business trip to Japan, and probably got his balls cut off by his brother. He’s a dead man without his dick, he needs to take good care of it.”
Tsk, the man, clicking his tongue seriously, glanced at her face and observed her carefully. When she didn’t respond easily, keeping her mouth shut as if trying to gauge her reaction, he chuckled and said something incomprehensible again.
“Our sister-in-law is going to have a friend soon.”
“Pardon?”
“Go inside. Wait quietly for your dick husband. He’s either cutting people or fucking, but judging by his recent behavior, he’s probably cutting people, not fucking. He’ll be here soon.”
“Why do you think I’ll be waiting?”
“Well, because he has to pay the hospital bill?”
He smiled, only lifting the corners of his mouth while keeping his eyes cold. He wasn’t normal. Well, if he’s friends with a madman, he’s likely to be mad himself. She wanted to save the energy she would waste arguing and use it to wash her hair.
“Even though he doesn’t look like it, he’s as proud of his dick as he is of his nose, so he doesn’t ask women to sleep with him first. He has a headache because women keep clinging to him, but as I said earlier, he feels like he’s unintentionally clearing his past after meeting you, so don’t worry.”
“I didn’t ask. And I don’t worry about that.”
“Is it a crime to tell you in advance because I thought you were going to ask soon? You’re quite charming, aren’t you? Is that why Kim Jong-seop is always fucking you without even letting you pee?”
A passing nurse glanced at them. Whether she did or not, the man, who didn’t care about other people’s eyes any more than a booger in his nose, seemed to be a similar type of person to Kim Jong-seop.
Not only does he fuck without letting me pee, he fucks while I’m peeing.
She suppressed the urge to reply. She didn’t want to talk about dicks in front of passersby anymore.
“Jin-han’s surgery went well, so he should be fine, right? The doctor says it’s too early to tell, but if he’s overcome one hurdle, everything will be fine. Don’t worry and come out unnecessarily. Kim Jong-seop guarded the intensive care unit while you were lying down.”
With Cha Geon-ju’s escort, or perhaps forced escort, she returned to her hospital room. It had been raining all along, and just when it stopped, it looked like it was going to rain again.
She was afraid to put her hand in, ignoring the warning that water shouldn’t touch it yet, but it was too uncomfortable to just leave it. How long had it been since she regained consciousness? Following the nurse’s advice that a shower was too much, she roughly washed her hair with help. After washing her face, she wiped her breasts several times with a warm washcloth.
Her breasts were so clean that she wondered who had wiped them while she was unconscious, which made her suspicious. After finishing tidying up so that the IV line wouldn’t get tangled, she returned to the bed. Her body was uncomfortable, so her movements were restricted, making daily life difficult.
Even in this situation, she was thinking shallowly that it was fortunate that her lower body hadn’t been violated.
Jin-han was in a critical condition because of her, but at least the surgery went well.
She closed her eyes again. She lay on her side, curled up like a larva curled up in its shell, and folded her legs.
The window rattled in the wind, the hospital room quickly darkened due to the weather, and she couldn’t easily fall asleep even with her eyes closed. The unfamiliar scent of shampoo also disturbed her sleep today. Even though she wasn’t particularly sensitive, her senses, which had become excessively sharp, pricked her body like sharp awls.
She kept smelling the blood from that day, and her nose felt stinging. When the smell of blood subsided, the fishy smell of semen choked her. It wasn’t that she was smelling semen for the first time, but the scene of Jin-han’s pupils dilating and falling down kept replaying among the dark shadows.
Her only act of rebellion since birth had left only innocent sacrifices and scars. Unable to sleep, tossing and turning, drifting in a semi-conscious state for a long time, Song-ah woke up with a start, feeling her arm being pressed down.
“Hah, ha! Ah!”
She waved her arms, telling him to let go, and then black shoes, approaching quickly, appeared in her blurry vision, and then both her shoulders were grabbed firmly.
“Ah…”
The sudden sleep seizure I had unconsciously triggered seemed to startle not just me. Kim Jong-seop, with his brows deeply furrowed, threw away the cigarette he had been holding between his teeth and grabbed my shoulder. Wasn’t this a hospital? Even though he hadn’t lit it up, he clearly intended to smoke it since he’d been holding it. I got momentarily distracted by something trivial, but somehow my body felt better.
“Are you smoking… here?”
“Kim Jong-seop, you busybody, always having to run off with some new guy, stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“How is pointing out smoking in public being nosy? It’s basic public etiquette. No, it’s against the law. It violates Article 34 of the National Health Promotion Act. If I report it, you’ll get fined.”
“Shit, I’ve never met someone who talks about the law in front of me while pretending to care about ‘national health.’”
“What did you say?”
“What do you mean, ‘what?’ Didn’t I just call you pretty?”
It wasn’t the first or second time that pointing something out resulted in either another insult or him brushing it off with this sleazy attitude. Arguing with him only left me exhausted, so I didn’t even bother trying anymore. Talking to a wall would have been less frustrating. Like casting pearls before swine.
“Go ahead, report me. What’s a fine gonna do? I’ve done time in jail before.”
I shook my head. Conversations with him were always like this.
“Did you go to jail before, Mr. Kim?”
“Why, are you curious?”
The question came out of nowhere.
“Huh? Baby, are you curious?”
The man’s eyes, sinking into the waves and flashing violently, were excessively aggressive. Mesmerized, I shook my head. I didn’t want to know. Sometimes ignorance was bliss. Assault, injury, murder—none of those charges were minor. And yet, given Mun-seong’s connections, pulling strings to help someone out wouldn’t be impossible. But he wasn’t born into the Mun-seong family, after all.
No matter how much I thought about it, nothing seemed to fit any normal narrative.
As I bit my lip and furrowed my brow, he muttered something unintelligible.
“What, do I smell bad? Damn, I showered for two hours. I scrubbed my skin raw.”
His cologne reeked as he continued to mutter nonsense.
Maybe he was genuinely unwell. Perhaps the one who needed help wasn’t me, but Kim Jong-seop.
“Look at that sour expression. How’s your hand doing now?”
“Yes, thanks to you.”
“Are you being sarcastic or kissing up?”
“Neither. I’m just saying, thanks to you, my hand is fine. Pure fact.”
“Damn, you’re always so fucking logical.”
A brief silence fell. Honestly, if Kim Jong-seop didn’t keep provoking me, there wouldn’t be much reason to argue. The problem was that every time he opened his mouth, it felt like he was scraping at my insides. The unfamiliar orange-scented shampoo irritated me, and the hospital gown made everything feel awkward. My gaze kept dropping to the floor.
Mixed with anger from that chaotic night and guilt over his nephew fighting for his life because of me, my emotions were tangled. I knew, logically, it wasn’t entirely my fault. My head understood, but my heart couldn’t ignore the weight pressing down on me. It felt like a boulder crushing my chest. Where should I even begin untangling this mess?
Thinking about that night still enraged me, but the guilt of being partly responsible for pushing his nephew to the brink of death was suffocating. If only I hadn’t left with him, or if we hadn’t been neighbors upstairs and downstairs, or if I had been harsher with him back in high school—maybe none of this would have happened.
I knew these thoughts were pointless, but I couldn’t shake them off.
Coincidence or misfortune—it all felt like my fault again.
“Let’s clarify two things. First, I’m sorry about your nephew. Whatever the circumstances, I take full responsibility. That’s… Hyeon.”
I swallowed hard, unable to continue smoothly.
“It’s my fault.”
In a way, Kim Jong-seop had kept his promise to protect me from other men—but at the cost of his nephew getting hurt. Regardless of the process or reasoning, that was the outcome. No matter how much I tried to justify it by blaming myself, the fact remained: Jin-han was lying in a hospital bed.
If only I hadn’t suggested going to see the sea when he proposed running away together, or dragging him to drink on the beach. Regretting these things wouldn’t change anything. Regret was an emotion that hindered decision-making, offering neither efficiency nor utility, only draining energy.
I tried to avoid it whenever possible, but every time something beyond my control happened, I found myself trapped in the cycle of regret, running endlessly like a hamster on a wheel.
“And second, that night—you said if I endured it, our relationship would end. Well, it’s over.”
That was when Kim Jong-seop, who had been unusually quiet, finally frowned.
“What do you mean, endure? Did you walk out on two legs or crawl out on all fours? You clung to me like a lost puppy. Don’t talk nonsense about enduring.”
“I may not know much, but I know the drug you gave me was strange. How could I possibly stay sane after that? Do you know how much… how much I suffered?”
I already knew crying wouldn’t solve anything. I’d learned that lesson over years under Yoon Hyung-woo.
“So what now? You clearly said if I endured, it would be over.”
“If you felt wronged, why didn’t you endure it? Or do you think people will believe I enjoyed it? Watching you losing control like that.”
“You forced that drug on me!”
“Oh, please. What’s with this sudden talk about drugs? You’re usually worse than this.”
I ran out of words. This conversation was futile. Logic wasn’t on my side here. There was no way to counter Kim Jong-seop’s accusations constructively.
“You like being rational and logical, right? I’m here to protect you from things like this. Can I guarantee you won’t get chewed up by the world? Or drugged again?”
“Guarantee what?”
“The… damn, gangbang. Look, isn’t it enough that I’m protecting your ass? Do you think Lee Sang-heon is the only guy who wants you? Use your brain unless it’s filled with popcorn.”
I sighed deeply.
It was absurd. Why didn’t these nonsensical exchanges with him feel strange anymore? It was as if they’d become part of my routine. My short, chaotic life had intertwined with Kim Jong-seop so much that our conversations now felt like an inseparable part of my existence.
Why did I feel relief seeing Kim Jong-seop’s face the moment I closed my eyes? Logically inexplicable, confusing, and foreign. Why did I feel comforted knowing he came to save me, even though he was the one who drugged me and did… that?
Even if humans are capable of ambivalence…
Kim Jong-seop was the most infuriating person in my life, yet somehow, when I was with him, I felt a strange sense of peace—as if I could survive anything, even an invasion. Feeling this irrational sense of safety with a man who could kill someone like Lee Sang-heon without hesitation—it made no sense unless I was losing my mind.
Why did I grab Kim Jong-seop’s hand? Why, when he appeared before me just moments before I was about to be violated, did I feel relief at the thought that I’d be saved? He was crueler and more ruthless than Lee Sang-heon.
My head throbbed. Trying to understand and rationalize emotions that defied logic only made it worse. Though I wasn’t particularly fond of math, at least with mathematical problems, there were formulas that led to clear answers. Human relationships, on the other hand, felt like an insurmountable challenge.
The sex I knew—at least what I understood about intimacy—involved some level of mutual understanding between two people. But here I was, having conversations about values with a man who saw no problem with one-night stands and acted accordingly.
That alone was already a dilemma for me.
But what made it even more absurd—and strangely comforting—was that, in this moment, I felt happier not facing Yoon Hyung-woo. The fact that she didn’t have to stand like a doll in front of men who scrutinized her like a commodity, whether they were politicians or their sons, brought her immense solace.
Was I losing my mind? At this point, debating who was crazier seemed meaningless.
“Fuck, why’d you go off meeting some other guy without saying anything? Considering how much I’ve bent over backward for you, cut me some slack. Should I suck your ass too?”
He had the audacity to demand forgiveness. Typical Kim Jong-seop.
“What? You want to throw hands?”
“No need to humor me. I don’t expect it.”
How foolish of me to ask him to treat me with respect, to appeal to his nonexistent sense of decency. Asking such a man—who stood at the polar opposite of integrity—to treat me like a human being was laughable.
“You’re not just going to abandon my nephew after bashing his head in, are you? Right? Or are you?”
Was it wrong of me to think he only used Jin-han when it suited him?
“Aren’t you the one who said getting hit once isn’t a big deal?”
“Is getting punched and falling over the same as having your skull crushed by a metal pipe? What the hell kind of nonsense are you spouting?”
God, if only he could shut up.
I had no idea where to start or how to steer this conversation. It was beyond exasperating; my head felt numb. Every moment with him was like navigating an impossible maze, unpredictable and exhausting.
His eyes practically screamed: This difficult bitch, seriously.
Still, I stared at him defiantly, refusing to fall for his manipulative games.
“I’ll rip your dick out if you keep pushing me. Fine, I’ll let it slide this time. One slap…”
Slap. Without hesitation, I struck his left cheek. To him, it was probably akin to a light massage, but for me, it was a satisfying swing.
Compared to everything I’d endured, this was hardly fair compensation, yet… why did it feel so cathartic? When else would I ever dare slap him across the face? But I knew when to stop. I had enough sense to know that pressing further would only backfire, given his temperament.
“Damn. Now I’m getting slapped by a high school girl.”
He chuckled as if unfazed, like someone who’d never been slapped and forced to endure it.
It had been years since graduation, yet in his eyes, I was still just a high schooler. Then again, what difference did it make? In his world, I was probably just another person to stomp on, someone who wouldn’t even squeak before being crushed.
Come to think of it, there was a faint trace of blood on the edge of his lips, which he flicked with his tongue. I hadn’t hit him hard enough to cause that, so where had he gotten hurt?
“That bastard lost his mind because of you, canceled his business trip to Japan, and probably got his balls ripped apart by his boss.”
Ah, so his “boss” was the one who roughed him up. Fascinating. It was hard to imagine Kim Jong-seop bowing to anyone. Occasionally, I’d overheard him talking on the phone after we’d finished having sex, using honorifics.
“Do you think slapping me will fix things? Why don’t you boil my balls and eat them while you’re at it?”
“I have a weak stomach. That’s enough.”
“Oh, so you’re the one who begged to suck me off because you’re ‘weak’? Did you really think milk would come out while sucking on my ass?”
“Please, stop saying such things.”
Ignoring my plea, he reached for another cigarette. It was a habit. Song-ah snatched the cigarette from his mouth.
“Well, well.”
“Very well. No smoking here, okay? Someone might actually report you.”
“If you wanted me locked up so badly, why didn’t you just call the cops and report me as a thug harassing some poor old man?”
Who did he think he was fooling? As if the police would arrest Kim Jong-seop. Not with Yoon Hyung-woo pulling strings and protecting him.
I wondered why he gave up so easily this time, but then I noticed something else. The cigarette butt had burned her wrist.
She lowered her hand, trying to hide it, but he wasn’t the type to overlook such things.
“So, cutting yourself is your new hobby? Why do you keep slicing your wrists? Just end it early and save us all the trouble, huh?”
“It wasn’t a suicide attempt. Not then, not now.”
“Whatever. Just hurry up and die. I’ll break open the gates of hell for you.”
“Right, because breaking into my house wasn’t enough—you’re aiming for hell’s gates now?”
If there was something he wanted, he’d jump into a fiery pit without hesitation. Song-ah shook her head.
“That was from someone else, wasn’t it? Yoon Hyung-woo? Lee Sang-heon?”
“When was that?”
“The first time you came to meet me. You looked pretty pathetic then, too.”
So he was referring to the time I went to his office for our first meeting. Back then, it was probably Lee Sang-heon. Kim Jong-seop didn’t press further when I didn’t answer.
“You remember that time two years ago? The freezing winter when you ran around like someone possessed? Was that also because of those guys?”
I was surprised he even remembered. It had been just another day, a fleeting event among countless others. Curiosity got the better of me.
“How do you remember that?”
“I told you—I said you weren’t an ordinary slut. Your tits seem bigger now than they were then, but yeah, I remember.”
Of course Kim Jong-seop would remember a woman by her breast size. He even knew they’d grown at least a cup size since then. Still, I didn’t bother arguing. This was just who he was. Accepting that made it easier to deal with him.
“Lee Sang-heon.”
That fucking bastard. He gnashed his teeth, muttering curses under his breath.
“Men are all the same. Even when their fathers lose their eyes and go insane, they can’t help but notice beauty. You were barefoot back then, right? I think I sent someone—Seok-joo or whoever—to buy you some shoes.”
Learning this unexpected detail felt strange. So it was Kim Jong-seop who had sent those shoes. Coincidence—or perhaps bad karma.
“Are you suddenly impressed? How sensitive of me.”
“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“Alright, that’s enough. Just leave.”
The more we talked, the worse it was for me. When I pushed his chest to make him go, he didn’t budge an inch—like a rock. At this point, I almost felt grateful that he had let the slap slide. Arguing about our physical strength difference was pointless, but moments like these reminded me just how terrifying he could be. Should I thank him for not beating me like Yoon Hyung-woo might have? A bitter laugh escaped my lips.
“Hurry up and leave. I’m going to sleep now.”
If he left just like that, he wouldn’t be Kim Jong-seop. Why was he so insistent on staying here as if there was something worth seeing? He loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“If my nephew’s life is hanging by a thread, do you think I’d just abandon my post?”
“Then don’t stay here. Go wait in front of the ICU or something.”
“You’re such a pain in the ass. You trying to suffocate me to death or what?”
He completely ignored my words, unbuttoned his shirt, and climbed onto the bed. He pulled me close, saying, “Let’s sleep.” Was he seriously suggesting we share the same mattress here in the hospital?
“What… what are you doing?!”
“Come here. Or do you think someone’s gonna eat you up?”
“That’ll happen soon enough.”
“I haven’t expanded my tastes to human flesh yet.”
What kind of sick joke was that? He added, “There’s so much delicious meat in the world. Why waste time eating those disgusting bastards’ guts?” This man really knew how to make even a joke sound menacing. Truly, he was someone you shouldn’t get too close to.
“...I hope you keep that preference.”
“Why are you so scared? Hurry up and come here. Let’s sleep. You’re the one who just got your hand stitched up, and here you are raising hell. Want those stitches to burst open again?”
Reluctantly, I was pulled into his arms and forced to lie down. Didn’t he realize he should let me rest after all that? I tried to pull away, but his hand caught the back of my head, gripping my hair tightly and yanking it upward. I had no choice but to look at him with my head tilted back.
“How long were you planning to run away before coming back, huh?”
Running away—it wasn’t from him, but from my own world. Yes, I wanted to avoid Kim Jong-seop. My wrists could heal, but my chest… it had torn open so badly that it felt beyond repair. I couldn’t bear to face him again, nor did I want to.
What was my deepest wound? That Kim Jong-seop had violated me with some strange drug? The despair that he wouldn’t protect me from Yoon Hyung-woo? The fear that I’d never escape Yoon Hyung-woo, or that he’d hurt the people around me?
It was impossible to pinpoint just one thing. All these emotions were tangled together, pressing down on me like iron chains. If I had to name the cause, it would be my escape—from everything, including Kim Jong-seop.
Nothing would change now. I hadn’t forgiven him enough to lie here peacefully with him. So why was I letting him into my space? Maybe I’d never find an answer. It felt like standing at the edge of a cliff, dipping my body into a pond whose depth I couldn’t fathom. That terror gripped my ankles at every turn. Even though I knew his embrace was a thorn-filled inferno, I couldn’t let go. Pushing him away wouldn’t work; blocking him wouldn’t stop him either.
I’d already tasted the bitter failure of trying to escape once. Every time I prayed for Jin-han to wake up safely, the thorny brambles around me seemed to tighten their grip.
“I wouldn’t have run if I thought I’d end up back here,” I snapped bitterly, my voice sharp with self-mockery and frustration toward the man who controlled me.
One of his eyebrows shot up mockingly.
“You know, if we do it now, contraception won’t work. Though I doubt your birth control pills can handle my load anyway.”
It had been five days since I stopped taking the pill—the day we were at the room salon with Kim Jong-seop. Counting the days felt meaningless now; relying on the pill for protection was futile.
I tried to provoke him, but instead, I ended up flustered. Shaking my head, I instinctively grabbed his forearm despite the discomfort of the IV pulling at my arm. His arm was hard, solid muscle—like a grater wrapped in steel.
With a man built like this, it was only natural to feel afraid.
He shifted positions suddenly, moving from lying on his side to hovering over me.
How long had it been since my whole body was drenched in semen during sex that left me feeling utterly wrecked?
“We need to get you pregnant soon. Watching you, I don’t think you’ll last. Every chance you get, you’re ready to spread your legs for another guy.”
Kim Jong-seop. Hoping for compassion from him was laughable. My head buzzed as if someone had flicked on a metronome switch. A sudden wave of dizziness made me clutch his arm tighter. As I closed my eyes momentarily to steady my breathing, he pulled down his loose pants and underwear, grabbed my chin, and tilted my face up to check if I was still coherent. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know he was staring at me.
Catching my breath after gulping air like a drowning person, I slowly opened my eyes. Deep brown irises bore into mine, darkened by shadows, like a finely etched portrait drawn with a fountain pen. Looking into those eyes always gave me the sensation of being hypnotized.
His sharp features and intense aura contrasted sharply with his crude behavior.
“What are you looking at? Never seen a sculpture before?”
“Get out of my face.”
“It’s a natural masterpiece. Appreciate it more. And my dick’s natural too—100% original.”
Teach him one thing, and he twists it into ten ways to torment me. His lips curled into a wide grin, splitting his face like a Cheshire cat. Did the gods ever imagine they’d create someone like him?
“Move! Before I really hit you!”
“Hit me. Getting blown while getting slapped feels amazing. Damn, just thinking about it makes my dick twitch. Pretty baby.”
Why did he keep calling me “pretty baby”? I wanted to slap him again. Summoning courage, I raised my hand to strike his cheek—but suddenly, his head dipped down, and he buried his nose between my legs like an arrow piercing its target.
“Ahh!”
Startled, I squirmed, but he held my thighs apart, forcing himself into the tight space. I gasped. There he was, sucking on me like two giant sea snails, slurping loudly as if cleaning double doors. His crazed muttering followed.
“Damn, you smell so good down here—it’s been a while since you showered. Shit, I’m about to cum. My dick’s breaking because of you, damn it.”
His hoarse, aroused voice carried an unsettling sincerity that choked me silent.
“Get, get off me! You crazy bastard! Ahhng!”
“Just a blowjob, huh? Baby, don’t wash anymore. I’ll suck you clean. Who told you to wash this and sit around? Crazy bitch.”
I clawed at his hair, shoved him away, and even smacked his head like pounding on a watermelon—but he remained unfazed, lost in his frenzied oral fixation.
After running away, I hadn’t showered for days. How many times had I peed without cleaning up? Not once had I washed down there. Of course, the day I fled home was no exception, and after surgery, I was unconscious in bed for days. But I had to go back further—to the night I was drugged and left the club wrapped in his arms, unable to clean myself. It was the longest stretch of my life without washing below.
“I guess you don’t smell like other guys. Damn, it’s surprising—or maybe fortunate—that Kim Jin-han hasn’t touched you yet.”
“This crazy, insane bastard, ugh, ahh! Ahaah!”
Jong-seop had to suppress the urge to ejaculate every time he thrust his tongue into her newly opened double-folded meat and swirled it around. He snatched and tore her bra cups, freeing her swaying milk jugs. While he was licking her pussy, he couldn’t see Yoon Song-ah’s expression, her tongue loosening and her reason breaking down because of the mountain range of her breasts, but he used her heavily swaying breasts as a side dish instead.
She struggled, trying to minimize the pain caused by the shaking by putting her arms under her breasts.
He repeatedly opened and closed the peculiarly wide double doors, wetting his tongue by irrigating the pooled pussy juice. The clam broth, having been left for a while, hadn’t been rinsed away, and the clam juice was thick. He sucked and licked with his mouth suction cup like a ravenous beggar.
“Ugh, euung! Ang!”
He applied a thick coat to both folds and scraped the inside of the hole, sucking the pussy juice residue. He easily swirled his tongue and satisfied his lust, even getting rid of the byproducts that had been stuck like dander between the wings. Song-ah, who was screaming, seemed to have given her lower abdomen a big push, and the sound of pussy juice bubbles bursting echoed from inside her vagina.
“Feels like I’m on drugs, fuck.”
It was as if he had applied water drugs, and every time he licked her drugged pussy, his whole body tingled, and his vision blurred.
He was immersed in the world of ecstasy, thrusting his tongue deep and focusing on the hole like a madman, when he heard someone coming. In fact, Jong-seop didn’t realize someone had entered until later, as he was focused on licking her pussy.
“Hey, why aren’t you answering Si-baek’s calls? Huh?”
Cha Geon-ju, who had opened the door and entered, was starting to nag again. That bastard, whose hobby was to make a fuss, would start talking nonsense every time, making things difficult.
“Euung! Ang!”
Song-ah was confused because Kim Jong-seop, who still didn’t take his head away, knew that someone had entered the room, and she was even more shocked by Cha Geon-ju’s reaction, who didn’t seem surprised at all. How immune were the people around this man to this kind of thing?
She hurriedly tried to pull down her hospital gown to cover her painfully shaking breasts, but Kim Jong-seop pushed it back up, telling her not to.
“Why are you covering them? I should show them off to the others.”
“No, you fucking bastard, answer your phone. You can answer it while you’re licking. You fucking bastard. If you’re not going to answer, why do you carry a phone? Do you mix it with your brain when you’re eating the kids’ heads? Or do you wrap it in your dick skin and eat it?”
Cha Geon-ju, who had been ranting in anger several times, sighed deeply, swept his hair back, and picked up his phone.
“Si-baek, can you spare an hour? Yeah, I’m busy with that woman I told you about. He’s so obsessed with licking that he can’t see anything right now.”
Then he left the room. He had come in while on the phone. The third shock made her whole body tremble painfully.
They were gangster bastards who didn’t have any of the morality, social shame, or decency that normal people had. Men who lived in a world where they would treat her as the strange one if she talked about decency.
He unzipped his pants, pulled out his thick, roasted dick, and finally pierced her pussy.
“Aaaah!”
He had finally finished, even though someone had just come in and out.
“I’ll only cum inside. Just stay still. I wouldn’t fuck a dying woman.”
He thrust in and out with two or three big thrusts, scraping the hot inside, and then ejaculated, quickly flicking his dick ring.
“Ahuu... euung. Cum inside, please, pregnancy, no, aaah!”
“Pretty, do you like it when I cum inside?”
Her tears, resentment, and moans were all mixed together, and she let out a sound like a female animal giving birth.
Even then, her weak body, having been with him, faithfully released a concentrated orgasm. He stirred the inside, adding heat to her pleasure, and poked the H-spot in her vagina with the umbrella of his glans. He deliciously attacked the orgasm gathering place at the very peak of her vagina. The clam juice, starting to squirt from the blunt glans, wet the dick plug that was blocking the hole.
“Ugh, aaah! Ahheung!”
Seeing her worried about the dripping juice, he put a blanket under her butt. Then, the vomit from her pee hole burst out deliciously, reaching its climax.
“It’s a hassle to go pee with the IV line, why bother.”
Jong-seop smiled as if she was pretty, watching her pee deliciously.
When she stretched out her hand, trembling all over, he lowered his upper body in a plank position and looked at her. Song-ah pushed his shoulder away as if trying to grab it. The man didn’t move away at all, of course.
She thought it would be better to avoid him than to face him like this, so she ended up hugging his neck.
________________________________________
Song-ah shook her head, feeling frustrated, while eating the bland hospital food.
That crazy man had blocked her from taking a single step outside the hospital room and had gone on a business trip.
This wasn’t protection, it was thorough surveillance. It was his intention to prevent her from doing anything, whether it was taking emergency contraception or running away.
She didn’t feel like eating. She put down the spoon she had been picking at and drank a glass of warm water, and then Cha Geon-ju, who hadn’t even come into the room much, came in and turned on the TV.
The man seemed completely unfazed, which was hard to believe considering he had suddenly barged in on her and Kim Jong-seop yesterday.
How many more filthy things had he seen to live like this? The man, holding the remote control, crossed his arms and leaned back.
She glanced at him with suspicious eyes, wondering what he was trying to do.
The anchor on the news was delivering today’s news in a calm voice. The soaring oil prices, various real estate problems due to rising construction material costs, a certain celebrity’s gambling problem, and then the next news story featured a familiar face.
“Police have announced that they have requested an arrest warrant for Yeonjin Party Representative Hyun Joong-hyuk, who is suspected of receiving 3 billion won in bribes.”
The news was about Hyun Joong-hyuk, who was suspected of receiving a large amount of bribes.
Cha Geon-ju, who was just watching with his arms crossed without any change in expression, was definitely aware of something. Was Kim Jong-seop the one who did this? She was trying to figure things out, and then there was a knock.
“Boss, you need to come see this for a moment.”
A man with a panicked face called Cha Geon-ju. At that moment, she felt all the blood drain from her body through her fingertips. A bad feeling hit her like an instinct and tightened around her whole body. She was frozen, unable to move, like someone bound by invisible chains.
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