SOTBW - 118

With Maximón’s help, Najane toured the slave shops on the outskirts of the black market. There was not a single platinum-haired slave to be found. Although she had heard that sometimes people dyed their hair, she carefully examined their faces, but the person Najane was desperately looking for was not there.

As Maximón had predicted, the shopkeepers, even recognizing the two, pretended not to know them. Some actively tried to sell slaves to Maximón, but most were ignored. Najane was fascinated by the different atmosphere compared to the auction house, and Maximón, finding her reaction quite cute, explained it to her.

“This is normal. This is just my guess, but I think the ones who tried to provoke us probably didn’t want to live anymore.”

“So, you’re saying... those people tried to kill themselves because they wanted to die at your hands?”

“Exactly.”

“...Ah... I see...”

It was a very absurd claim, but when she thought about how those people had boldly confronted Maximón without fear, she wondered if it might actually be true.

After finishing their visit to the last shop, Najane and Maximón left the black market. Whether it was because the rumors about them had already spread or not, there were quite a few people whispering that they had seen them near the slave auction. Although Najane had pressed her hood down tightly, there were still some who recognized Maximón with just a glance.

In the past, Maximón had come and gone freely from the black market, but now, for Najane’s sake, he wore a hood. As they walked side by side, Najane began to seriously question why people were still recognizing them. Her face was sufficiently covered, and they were quite far from the commotion at the slave auction...

For a moment, Najane’s expression grew serious as she glanced at their joined hands. Could it be because of this? With a look of realization, she glanced around and noticed that there were no other couples walking hand-in-hand on the street. She hadn’t considered that Maximón’s muscular build and tall stature naturally drew attention, nor had she thought that holding hands in public could be the issue.

At that moment, the advice from Dídina crossed her mind. Push and pull... But what exactly did that mean? Dídina had said it wasn’t about physical things. So, was it something to do with words? If it was about pushing away with words... did that mean she had to tell Maximón that she didn’t like it? Pulling would be saying it was okay, right? But why would she have to say she didn’t like it? She didn’t want to say that…

Wouldn’t pushing someone away hurt their feelings? Was this how others navigate relationships? Using such a cruel approach? The way to confirm someone’s love seemed so difficult and complicated...

Najane was deep in thought about Dídina’s advice when she looked up at Maximón. Whether it was about push and pull or not, it ultimately all depended on Maximón’s attitude.

While lost in her thoughts, Najane suddenly let go of Maximón’s hand as they left the black market. She didn’t have the heart to push him away completely, but she slackened her grip, letting her palm drop. Just as her hand began to move away, Maximón grabbed it firmly.

Startled, Najane looked up at Maximón. However, Maximón, unaware of what was wrong, held her small hand gently and continued walking toward the main street.

“No, this is not what I meant...” Najane, now embarrassed, wasn’t sure what to do and awkwardly pulled her hand out of Maximón’s grip. As her hand slipped free, Maximón stopped in his tracks and turned around. He looked at Najane with an expression that asked if there was a problem.

“...I think it’s better if we walk without holding hands,” Najane said in a calm and soft voice, hoping to avoid hurting Maximón’s feelings. Maximón, surprised by the sudden change, looked at her for a moment. Had he squeezed her hand too hard? Or had he been walking too fast without considering her stride?

A faint look of confusion crossed Maximón’s face. Hadn’t they been holding hands ever since they left the knight’s order and entered the black market? There must be a reason why Najane pulled her hand away. Maximón thought hard, trying to solve the problem, and then looked down at his sticky gloves. The blood on them had made the leather feel tacky.

Then, Maximón had a small realization. Ah, so it was because of the blood. He thought he had figured out the cause, and without hesitation, he removed his gloves. A surprised Najane watched as Maximón shoved one glove into his pocket.

It was a winter day, with the cold wind blowing through the spaces between the buildings. People were so bundled up that they would stop by the bakery ovens to warm their hands. In a panic, Najane quickly took off her own gloves and grabbed Maximón’s hand.

“What will you do if your hand gets cold?”

“I thought you didn’t like it because of the blood.”

“...The blood?”

Najane blinked rapidly, and Maximón looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“Was it not that?”

“I’m not sure what you mean...”

“You said you wanted to let go of my hand.”

“Ah... ah, that’s...”

Najane was startled and quickly let go of Maximón’s hand.

“It’s not because of that that I wanted us to walk without holding hands. I just thought it would be better because people were staring at us like we were some kind of spectacle, so I suggested it... I didn’t mean to cause any misunderstanding.”

“Because of people’s gaze?” Maximón’s face twisted.

“Did you really hold on to what those bastards said?”

“No, no, absolutely not!”

Najane immediately denied it as Maximón’s reaction was stronger than she expected.

“I just thought it would be more comfortable if we didn’t hold hands. And, since people were staring at us...”

“So, you’re saying walking with me while holding hands is uncomfortable?” Maximón interrupted, his voice sharp. He was visibly impatient, and his gaze at Najane was filled with hurt. The way Najane responded now would decide whether Maximón would be in a good mood today or not, and whether the knights of Romsoa would face hell.

However, Najane was flustered because she thought Maximón might be upset by her words. She hadn’t expected this situation, and her mind was filled with confusion. She had intended to try the “push and pull” strategy, but somehow, the atmosphere felt off. It seemed different from what Dídina had mentioned.

Najane, unsure of how to respond, fell silent. Maximón frowned, looking at her with frustration.

“What’s the problem?”

“It’s... it’s just...”

“Najane. Since we left the knight’s order, we’ve always walked hand-in-hand, right? We held hands when those bastards mocked you in the black market, and we did the same when we left. Am I wrong? Why are you suddenly worried about what others think? What’s the issue? Please, tell me. I want to understand you. I’m completely ready to understand you. What are you thinking right now? If it’s the people staring at us, I can rip out their eyes for you. I can tear out the tongues of those who called you a bitch.”

“No, Commander. I... I absolutely don’t want anything like that...”

“Then what is it?”

“I just...”

“Najane.”

Maximón gently pressed on Najane’s shoulder, urging her to answer quickly. Her mind went blank, and she realized she couldn’t do anything more here, so she gave a guilty look.

“...Actually, I was trying to do the ‘push and pull,’ but I think I’ve failed.”

In the end, Najane, who couldn’t become the fox, admitted the truth.

Maximón, surprised by her unexpected confession, asked with disbelief.

“...What did you just say?”

“Push and pull...”

Najane spoke hesitantly, her face apologetic as she glanced at Maximón. He was confused, trying to piece together the situation. So, Najane let go of his hand to try the push and pull. What did holding hands have to do with it in that case? What exactly was “push and pull”? Was it related to the body, or to emotions?

As Maximón tried to understand, his eyes narrowed. If “push and pull” meant suddenly letting go of his hand and saying she didn’t want to hold it anymore...

Maximón looked down at Najane and let out a faint smile. So, it was a way of provoking the other person’s feelings. Najane must not have been good at such things and failed to do it properly.

Maximón let go of Najane’s shoulder, looking bewildered. Which bastard had dared to teach her such manipulative tricks?

In their relationship, the one holding the reins was Najane from the start. She didn’t have to do anything. Just by standing still, she could stir Maximón’s feelings. But because Najane thought Maximón was upset, she lowered her head, looking guilty.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Commander... I’m sorry.”

Najane, unsure of what to do, watched Maximón’s expression. However, the way she was paying attention to him didn’t seem so bad. It felt like the balance of power in their relationship had shifted toward her. Maximón, being quick-witted, deliberately stiffened his expression. If he played his cards right, he could definitely draw Najane closer to him.

“So, what you’re saying is you didn’t want to hold my hand, huh? I didn’t realize I was that clueless.”

“No? No, that’s not what I meant...”

“Then let’s just walk. Follow me closely, so we don’t get lost.”

Maximón didn’t look at Najane and turned his back on her. In a hurry, Najane chased after him. His long legs made his pace a bit faster, and to keep up with him, Najane had no choice but to occasionally run.

Hoping that he might glance back at least once, Najane stared at the back of his head the whole way. Maximón was probably aware of her gaze.

However, Maximón didn’t turn around until they arrived at the knights’ order. With a downcast expression, Najane lowered her head. She realized that her previous attempt had been too capricious and strange. Anyone else would have found it odd. Or maybe Maximón just doesn’t like the push and pull? His expression seemed off...

Najane quickened her pace and caught up to Maximón’s side. Normally, he would have looked at her once, but Maximón stubbornly kept his eyes straight ahead.

“Commander, actually, I...”

Just then, Maximón suddenly stopped walking. He turned to look down at Najane, who had staggered to a halt. His cold, indifferent gaze made Najane’s heart sink. It felt as though she were seeing the old Maximón again.

“I need to temporarily leave for the Noctis Fortress for reconnaissance. If there’s no important business, we should part ways here.”

“Oh, you’re busy. I’m sorry for taking your time. I’ll... go now.”

Before Najane could even finish her sentence, Maximón headed toward the training grounds. With her mouth tightly shut, Najane awkwardly stared at his back and scratched her forehead.

There were no casual words like “let’s meet later” or “let’s meet at lunch,” like usual. She stood there, feeling like an abandoned child, and reluctantly took a step forward as the cold wind blew. She felt uncomfortable, as though she had made a big mistake.

“...Is it really such a big deal that I wanted to let go of his hand?”

Or does he really dislike the push and pull?

Embarrassed, Najane kept muttering to herself before suddenly stopping. She realized she might need someone’s help. In deep thought, she rushed to the maid’s office. She was terrified that their relationship might revert to what it had been before, without her even understanding Maximón’s feelings.