MHD - 80

Chapter 80: Stop Acting

The moment Jae-min heard the news of his sister’s death, he returned to Korea.

However, her home had already been sold. When he tracked down the man she had lived with, he discovered that he was an assistant director at the New York Ballet Company—only then did Jae-min understand why Jae-eun had moved to Korea.

But the man’s younger brother, who worked odd jobs around the country, was difficult to contact. Even after finally obtaining an address and visiting, the family who once lived there had long since moved away.

Nearly twenty years passed this way. When Jae-min first saw Hee-soo at the audition, he momentarily thought his deceased sister had somehow returned to life.

But when he learned that Hee-soo’s parents were both alive, any flicker of hope vanished. Still, unable to forget Hee-soo’s face, he immediately cast her as the protagonist in Paradise Lost.

“What a coincidence—what an incredible coincidence.”

Jae-min paused mid-story, overcome by emotion.

“It seems that destined encounters find their way eventually, no matter what.”

“That’s true.”

Hee-soo glanced at Jae-min’s hand tightly gripping hers and suddenly wondered how he had come to know all these facts.

“Director, how did you find out all of this?”

At Hee-soo’s question, Jae-min hesitated, on the verge of mentioning Jae-hyuk but then stopped himself.

“I’ll quietly support from behind the scenes now. Please don’t mention me to Hee-soo.”

Jae-hyuk’s face as he entrusted Hee-soo to him came to mind. It was clear that Jae-hyuk and Hee-soo weren’t just acquaintances—but...

As someone unaware of their relationship, Jae-min decided it would be best to honor Jae-hyuk’s request and keep the secret for now.

If they were truly fated to meet, they would find each other again someday.

Smiling wistfully, Jae-min shrugged at Hee-soo, who was still waiting for an answer.

“Well, I suppose the time was right. As I looked into things, the truth revealed itself.”

“I also tried to investigate many times, but my aunt kept hiding the fact that I wasn’t her biological child. Plus, we’d been apart for so long.”

To Hee-soo, her aunt had never felt like family. The days they hadn’t lived together far outnumbered those they had, and during the time they were together, she endured endless suffering.

“Earlier, I noticed you reading a script. How’s it going?”

Jae-min shifted the topic to discuss the new project.

With a new investor on board, casting offers for the male lead would soon be underway—a piece of good news.

Hee-soo had already memorized the entire script after reading it multiple times.

My Hateful Darling, inspired by Jae-min’s sister’s story, depicted the life of a ballerina.

It told the tale of a dancer who lost her ability to leap due to an accident and the rival ballerino who intentionally caused it.

The protagonist, traumatized and unable to soar, relentlessly strove to overcome her limitations. This resonated deeply with Hee-soo.

“As I read the script, I realized something—I’ve always run away from my problems.”

“Everyone has their own way of dealing with things.”

“What if I hadn’t run away? What would have changed?”

Hee-soo stood and walked over to the table where her annotated script lay.

“I used to confront problems head-on, tackling them repeatedly until they were resolved. But somewhere along the way, I became a different person.”

“When someone’s personality changes drastically, there’s usually a reason. Was there a turning point in your life, Seo Hee-soo?”

At Jae-min’s words, Hee-soo recalled the turmoil of her twentieth year.

She hadn’t had the strength to face or solve anything. Unable to endure the pain, she chose to escape and turn away, pretending nothing had happened.

The bold young girl who had spoken up about injustices in the ballet troupe had become someone desperate to erase everything and forget.

“Yes. There was something incredibly painful I didn’t want to face. So I tried to forget, to stop thinking about it. If I pretended it never happened, I thought I could live as though it hadn’t.”

“People often dismiss forgotten pasts as irrelevant, but that’s not true.”

Jae-min rose from the couch, retrieved his copy of the script from his bag, and flipped through it while asking Hee-soo:

“How was it? Did you feel at peace living as though you’d forgotten?”

“No, not at all. It was more like…”

Tears welled up in Hee-soo’s eyes as she reflected on her past.

It was a time when she refused to acknowledge her sadness. On days when she wanted to cry, she would watch Paradise Lost, allowing herself to sob as though releasing pent-up emotions.

Only then did she feel some semblance of relief.

“It was like living with bruises. On the surface, I seemed fine, but inside, I was battered, and even the slightest pressure hurt so much.”

Unconsciously answering, Hee-soo suddenly thought of Jae-hyuk. For the first time, she saw the pain he must have endured because of her.

As she began confronting her wounds, she realized he had suffered through the same difficult times.

“I guess… I thought it was okay to be cowardly because I only thought of myself.”

“Let’s talk about this more. There’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time, Hee-soo.”

Jae-min added meaningfully:

“Stop acting.”

“…Stop acting?”

Confused by the paradoxical advice, Hee-soo asked for clarification.

“Seo Hee-soo is an excellent actor, but you’re not suited for method acting. In other words, you’re exceptionally skilled at imitation.”

“Oh… Am I really like that?”

“You seem to avoid diving deep into emotions. Perhaps your heart is so full of unresolved feelings that there’s no room to hold someone else’s life or emotions.”

“That might be true.”

Hee-soo nodded in agreement. Her gaze fell on the film script nearby. Without hesitation, Jae-min picked up the script in front of her and tossed it aside.

“For this project, I want you to stop acting and become that person. Instead of memorizing lines, imagine yourself as the character. How does that sound?”

Hee-soo silently nodded.

“To do that, I hope you’ll revisit and confront the emotions you’ve buried. To carry another’s life, you must first empty your own. And to empty, you need to express. Only then can you remove what’s inside.”

“Do you think I can do it? People say it’s better to quickly forget bad memories.”

“No.”

Jae-min firmly shook his head in response to Hee-soo’s words.

“Life is fleeting, and after death, we won’t remember anything anyway. But the fact that you’re feeling pain now is proof that you’re alive. Whether good or bad, those memories are all part of your life, Seo Hee-soo. So acknowledge them, accept them, and make them yours. When you do that, you’ll no longer just imitate someone else’s life—you’ll become an actor who can express real emotions.”

“I’ll... give it a try.”

There was no need for further explanation. Jae-min had been the one to open the door to her true acting journey.

Hee-soo nodded resolutely, vowing to give it her all without hesitation.

---

Hee-soo and Jae-min spent countless hours holed up in the Namhae studio.

They discussed the project extensively but also talked a lot about Hee-soo’s mother, as the role Hee-soo was playing was inspired by her.

“Jae-eun never backed down, even while living as an immigrant. Despite subtle racial discrimination and bullying, she always stood tall.”

“She was incredible.”

“One time, a tall girl picked Jae-eun up and demanded an apology. Even as she was choking and struggling to breathe, Jae-eun didn’t apologize—she just glared at the girl until she passed out.”

“...Really?”

The stories about her mother seemed endless, each one more fascinating than the last.

Jae-min and Jae-eun had attended the same arts school, where strong personalities often clashed, leading to frequent conflicts.

As Hee-soo listened to tales of her mother’s school days, she compared them to her own experiences being bullied yet enduring through sheer resilience.

When Hee-soo shared her own stories, Jae-min chuckled, amused. “Blood truly doesn’t lie,” he said, and Hee-soo laughed along.

“You really are your mother’s daughter.”

At Jae-min’s words, Hee-soo’s eyes grew moist.

It felt as though stagnant water inside her was finally flowing again. Every day spent with Jae-min in Namhae felt new and liberating.

Jae-min taught Hee-soo how to express her emotions one by one.

Hee-soo began practicing verbalizing specific feelings like happiness or sadness, learning to bring the emotions bottled up inside her out into the open.

Each morning, Hee-soo stretched and warmed up with simple ballet movements, which Jae-min quietly filmed.

Some days, Jae-hyuk came to mind; other days, her younger self surfaced.

Tears would occasionally flow, and laughter would burst forth.

Hee-soo became Min Seo-eun, the protagonist of the story, or sometimes her mother, the inspiration behind the character. She spent her days immersing herself in their emotions.

And so, today mirrored yesterday, and tomorrow would follow suit.

---

As summer approached in earnest,

Jae-min began shuttling between Seoul and Namhae, growing increasingly busy.

He had started reaching out to the male actors they had discussed for the project. Jin Yuna also agreed to rejoin, and the filming team was reassembled.

Hee-soo, too, began preparing her body rigorously for the role.

While professional dancers would handle the highly technical dance scenes, Hee-soo decided to perform most of the other scenes herself.

To achieve a physique resembling that of an active ballerina, she had to practice ballet moves and stretch daily without fail.

A few days ago, through Yoon-seok, Hee-soo secured a contract with a ballet studio in Seoul.

Soon, it would be time to leave Namhae and return to Seoul.