Chapter 20: Once Slept Together, There’s No Going Back

“Don’t spout clichés. If others say ‘grave,’ do you also say ‘grave’? What, with tomb plots being so expensive these days, are you using marriage as a substitute?”

After the downstairs renovation was complete, Yu Zhimei invited Xiao Ma to Miaolin Dessert Shop for drinks. Coincidentally, Shi Rui was there too. Their eyes met briefly, but Shi Rui’s gaze was sharp like a blade, forcing Yu Zhimei to look away. Only then did Shi Rui switch back to her gentle, timid smile. Something about her had changed—her once-cute striped sweaters and beige Oxford shirts were gone. The slimmer Shi Rui now wore a form-fitting red knit sweater, no makeup, but deliberately tugged the neckline lower. The dessert shop served only sweets and alcohol, no proper meals, so Yu Zhimei ordered nearby barbecue and brought Xiao Ma a plate of peanuts. Seeing Shi Rui, Xiao Ma flared up: “Why are you everywhere?”

“Why can’t I be? Can’t I relax too?” Shi Rui replied calmly.

“I get it now. Ice cream around here costs 38 yuan a scoop, and He Jie’s black sesame paste is 22 yuan a bowl. No wonder you always order the sesame paste.”

“I’m just taking care of my health.”

“All for the sake of getting married, huh?” Seeing Yu Zhimei’s repeated glances, Xiao Ma stopped teasing Shi Rui and instead swiped endlessly on his phone, occasionally sending voice messages in an unmistakably flirtatious tone. The more Yu Zhimei listened, the more convinced she became that he was dating again. Curious, she asked: “Did you reconcile with your ex-girlfriend?”

“Nope, I’m swiping on LoveDate.”

Speak of the devil—Jian Zhaowen had already left Shanghai, yet traces of him seemed everywhere. Pretending nothing had happened, Yu Zhimei asked: “So, have you found anyone you like?”

“Just chatting. If someone catches my eye, I’ll strike up a conversation. It’s boring anyway.”

“Do you… look at other features on the app?”

“Nope. I don’t need them. That app used to have a lot of useless functions—like confession holes for loneliness or group chats. What era is this? I just want to chat, date, and maybe meet up for sex. That’s how I met my ex—we were about to get married, so I uninstalled it. After we broke up, I downloaded it again. The updates made it much better—swipe left, swipe right, photo pools, simple and straightforward.”

Yu Zhimei reflected on what Jian Zhaowen had said that night—his partner wanted to turn the app into a hookup platform, which indeed worked for some users. He Jie and Xiao Ma were both beneficiaries, frolicking freely in the ocean of flirtation. Xiao Ma kept sending voice messages to strangers: “Damn, if you won’t send a photo, what’s the point of chatting? You won’t even give me your WeChat—are you serious?”

Yu Zhimei began to understand why Xiao Ma had been dumped before his wedding. Still, she felt grateful that he had let her move back during her housing troubles, restoring stability to her life. She decided to thank him: “By the way, tonight’s drinks are on me. Thanks for letting me move back to 301.”

“Oh, no problem.”

“Why… did you let me move back? Was it because you felt sorry for me? Or did you owe me a favor?”

Xiao Ma didn’t stop shelling peanuts: “Did you renovate your room yourself?”

“Yes.”

“If I renovate 301 again and raise the rent by 2,000 yuan per month, that’s an extra 24,000 yuan a year, right?”

“...”

“These two months of renovation and airing out formaldehyde cost me 10,000 yuan per month. For two and a half months, that’s a loss of 25,000 yuan.”

“...”

“Comparing the two, calling you back was a steal.”

Yu Zhimei was dumbfounded. He Jie arrived just in time, carrying Yu Zhimei’s takeout and sitting beside them. When Xiao Ma noticed He Jie’s limited-edition handbag, he straightened his posture and spoke more formally: “I never realized there was such a beautiful place around here. Very tasteful, very classy.”

Yu Zhimei dryly countered: “Don’t even think about it. The shop owner is married. And don’t think about renting to her either—she lives in Bihu Tiandi, in a 300-square-meter apartment.”

Xiao Ma’s response was surprising: “So what if she’s married? Even if she has kids, I still have a chance.” Then, crossing his legs nonchalantly, he treated He Jie as just a friend and continued expounding on his views about relationships: “Girls like you are too hung up on appearances, always trying to seem respectable. Only those without scruples achieve more of their goals.”

“Huh?”

“You liked Jian Zhaowen—I know. You acted all tough but didn’t dare to pursue him. You should’ve brought him home and ‘had your way with him’ while he was here. Cling to him relentlessly—he’s the kind of guy who can’t refuse anyone. And you let him go back to Beijing?”

He Jie chimed in: “So, did you two sleep together?”

“No.” Yu Zhimei’s mind was flooded with images of Jian Zhaowen’s bare back. She shook her head, letting her bangs cover her burning ears: “Why do you make dating sound so vulgar? Jian Zhaowen has great ambitions. He went back to Beijing to create the best social app.”

“Who knows if he’s really making a social app or just being social.” Xiao Ma pressed on, but meeting He Jie for the first time clearly piqued his interest: “Living in such a huge mansion in Bihu Tiandi—you must be talented.”

“My husband just happens to earn a lot.”

“Oh? Then you’d better watch out for him having affairs. With that much money, it’s bound to happen.”

“No way. I’m his first love—he only likes me.”

Yu Zhimei knew what Xiao Ma wanted to hear: “She owns properties in Phase 3 of Bihu and in Gubei too. This dessert shop is just a hobby—she bought it because she loved desserts during her time studying abroad.”

Xiao Ma slumped back onto his chair in frustration: “How come I don’t have this kind of life? I’m still renovating my place just to raise the rent. What kind of world is this?”

He Jie laughed: “I’m just particularly good at ‘living,’ that’s all.”

All roads lead to Rome, but some people are born there. Yu Zhimei smiled as she drank, amused by He Jie teasing Xiao Ma. Thinking of the man who had slapped her and then looking at He Jie, who was meticulously applying sunscreen even between her fingers and rigorously combating aging, Yu Zhimei couldn’t help but ponder He Jie’s earlier words: “His family looks down on me. Opening this dessert shop is just a temporary measure.”

Shi Rui’s bowl of black sesame paste was still half-full, her spoon moving hesitantly, reluctant to finish too quickly. Her eyes were fixed on Yu Zhimei, as if trying to silence her with her gaze. He Jie reapplied her foundation, catching Shi Rui’s stare in the mirror, and deliberately asked Yu Zhimei: “Have you been in touch with Jian Zhaowen recently? You two used to drink and play games together so intimately.”

“No. We lived so close—we communicated by knocking on doors.”

He Jie sighed audibly: “Jian Zhaowen lived here for two or three years without knowing his neighbors, but once he met you, he knocked on your door every day—it was obvious he liked you. And in the end, you didn’t even exchange WeChat. It’s like letting a caught duck fly away.” Sensing the subtle shift in the atmosphere, she smoothly changed the topic: “Has Shi Rui stopped going on blind dates recently?”

“Yeah, but work hasn’t been going well lately, so my mind’s not on it…”

“Forget about Jian Zhaowen—he’s already back in Beijing.” Yu Zhimei was struck by Shi Rui’s pointed glance, unsure whether to nod or shake her head. He Jie continued offering advice to Shi Rui: “If you can’t forget someone you like, you can keep going on blind dates.”

Shi Rui blushed: “I’ve been going on blind dates, but they never seem to work out…”

“What kind of partner are you looking for?”

“I don’t have any specific requirements for men—just someone who treats me well. I like cooking and would be willing to have kids for him…”

He Jie wagged her finger: “No, that’s just setting yourself up to be taken advantage of. You need to be like Yu Zhimei—know how to ride a motorcycle, be independent, fashionable, and have taste. That’s what attracts men.”

Yu Zhimei waved her finger dismissively: “That’s ‘self-serving attributes.’ Riding cars or motorcycles makes you happy, not others. Being young, pretty, highly educated, and having plenty of time for family—that’s ‘other-serving attributes.’ Liking to cook and being a good cook are two different things. Drifting in a sports car and picking up kids from school are fundamentally different. The former is self-serving; the latter is other-serving. Blind dates require ‘other-serving attributes.’ Shi Rui can do that.”

“But you still need something to attract others. If you rely solely on kindness and domesticity, after marriage, you’ll just become a housewife with a yellowed face.”

“Isn’t the whole point of blind dating to settle into domestic life after marriage? If you want love to lead to marriage, you need to expand your social circle and increase your pool of options—not necessarily rely on blind dates. The media and parents have this mindset: no boyfriend or girlfriend? Go on blind dates. The result is a bunch of boring, self-deluded people coming together, mutually dissatisfied, which only worsens gender relations.” Yu Zhimei suddenly realized her IQ had returned to normal the moment Jian Zhaowen left.

“Right, I agree—marriage is the grave of love.” Xiao Ma entered with takeout, perfectly timing his interruption.

“Don’t spout clichés. Just because others say ‘grave’ doesn’t mean you have to say it too. Are you using marriage as a substitute for a tomb plot because graves are so expensive these days?”

Xiao Ma frowned: “Yu Zhimei, did you swallow firecrackers? People like you will never find a boyfriend.”

“I don’t want to get married, and I don’t want to go on blind dates. Stop forcing me into your logic.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want… a nebula of heart-fluttering (heart-fluttering).”

“Huh?” Xiao Ma rubbed his temples, exasperated: “I hate running into women like you—deep down, you want to date, but you can’t even explain what you want.” A large bag of takeout was unpacked, revealing local dishes: stir-fried rice cakes, sweet-and-sour pork ribs, scallion oil noodles, and fried pork chops. The table was soon cluttered with food. Yu Zhimei had always seen He Jie eating light meals, yet she sat down without hesitation and picked up her chopsticks. Xiao Ma continued talking: “When I was in college, I had a girlfriend. Her school was near Dishui Lake. I took the subway and then the bus every single day—it took six hours round trip—and I did that for three years until we broke up. But after that, I couldn’t stop dating. Even when I wasn’t in a relationship, I still craved women. I admit it—I’m lustful. But once you’ve slept with someone, there’s no going back. Being loved feels so good. Oh, how can they not serve spicy soy sauce with the fried pork chops? This restaurant is terrible. Wait here while I go buy some.”

Yu Zhimei froze at those last two words—”no going back”—what a double entendre for love.