Chapter 41

A Thoughtful Autumn Rain

A cool autumn rain fell. Feeling listless, I sat by the window with a white umbrella, painting the mountains and rivers of Su Zhao with a new brush. Yinze came in and observed me for a while. “You’re the spirit of the Luo River, yet you like umbrellas?” he asked.

“Because they’re so elegant,” I replied smugly, like a cicada on a withered tree.

Yinze stood aside and didn’t respond. I was usually the one to break the silence, but this time, I was determined to be stubborn. I enjoyed the quiet moment, listening to the rain and smelling the sweet fragrance of osmanthus. Finally, Yinze couldn’t help but say, “Wei’er, we have a misunderstanding.”

“I don’t have any misunderstandings, you do,” I replied, stopping my painting and taking a deep breath. “You think I’m the reincarnation of Shang Yan.”

He looked at me quietly, which was as good as admitting it. I said, “I know. After spending so much time together, you do have feelings for me, but you’ve never tried to separate me from her. You were initially attracted to me because of her.”

The longer he was silent, the more pain I felt. But no matter how painful it was, I didn’t let myself show it. I simply said calmly, “It’s okay, you should go save her. You should do it, even if it’s just out of a sense of duty. I won’t blame you, and I won’t leave you. After you save her and figure things out, come back and give me an answer.”

“Wei’er...”

Seeing him so guilty for the first time, I didn’t understand myself either. I was so exhausted from the pain, yet I still felt sorry for him. Love is such a strange thing, whoever falls in love first, loves more deeply, and loses more in the end. Life is full of disappointments. After this experience, I finally understood that this relationship, which started so beautifully, was just a fleeting dream. He is Yinze, the Divine Lord, how could he so easily fall in love with a small, insignificant person like me? If I could, I would wish to put all the beautiful things—youth, innocence, and carefree days—at the end of my life. If I could, I hope to meet someone who truly loves me at that time.

“I’ll wait for you to come back,” I didn’t know how to address him, so I avoided any titles out of embarrassment. “No matter how complicated your feelings for me are, my feelings for you will always be simple.”

Yinze seemed like he wanted to say something, but perhaps he realized that saying more would be pointless, so he reached out to hug me. I avoided his embrace and pretended to bend down to look at the painted umbrella. The fine rain fell like silk, smearing the ink on the umbrella. I said, “I just realized that this umbrella is useless. Since it’s painted with ink, the ink will smudge when it rains.”

Yinze waved his hand and cast a spell, solidifying the ink on the umbrella.

“That’s much better,” I smiled, folding the umbrella and handing it to him. “It was originally a gift for you anyway. Since you’ll never use it, you’ll definitely take good care of it.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re suddenly so polite, I’m not used to it. Go back and rest. You’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning, won’t you?”

Yinze walked over and kissed me on the forehead, then turned and went back to his room. During this time, we had been sleeping in the same bed. That night, I didn’t return to my own room but moved my clothes to the south hall. Later, I went to the Luo River for a walk alone, but I ran into my brother. He flicked my forehead and said, “A good girl doesn’t wander around alone at night.”

“Who told you to follow me?” I said, annoyed.

“With your state of mind, how could I leave you alone?” he replied.

“You could have come back earlier.”

“It’s not up to me. Besides, I don’t know if my own father would even recognize me.”

“Then don’t bother me, I’m in a bad mood.” I vented all my frustration on my brother, which I had been bottling up with Yinze.

Unexpectedly, he didn’t show any sympathy towards me, his sister. He said bluntly, “I’ve told you before, Master is our elder, and you were born in a completely different era. How can you talk about love with him? This is your own fault, so don’t take it out on me.”

“Yeah, right, Master is so much older than us. Think about it, your mother actually liked him.”

My brother couldn’t tolerate such provocation. He straightened his face and flicked my forehead with his index finger and thumb. “You little brat, you’re really making me mad.”

I didn’t hold back and flicked his chin. “You stinky brother, you don’t care about me at all.”

He hit me lightly, but I hit him hard. As a result, he covered his reddened chin, pursed his lips, and endured the pain with a troubled expression. After arguing for a while, he finally gave in to my words, “Why are other people’s brothers so gentle and considerate?” He said with a smile.

My face turned slightly red. “You can’t win an argument with me, so you pretend to be deliberately teasing me, how shameless.”

He laughed for a while and said indifferently, “Actually, I know what you’re worried about.”

I looked at him with raised eyebrows, already on guard. He said, “You’re afraid that Master will run away with my mother. Although I was young when I interacted with my mother, I remember very clearly that whenever I mentioned my father, she would only cry and not speak. She loved my father very much, so she definitely wouldn’t really be with Master.”

I smiled bitterly. My brother still didn’t understand me. Even if Shang Yan didn’t like Yinze, so what? There were countless women who liked Yinze but couldn’t have him, and I was one of them. But the person he loved was always only one person. However, as I was thinking about this, my brother, as if he could read my mind, said, “Even if Master doesn’t want you, you still have me.”

I looked at him blankly. “Brother...?”

Seeing me look at him so directly, he felt embarrassed. “You’ve probably forgotten what I said before. Since I left Su Zhao to become a disciple, one of my biggest wishes has been to become a celestial being. But before that, I only had one wish.” The breeze played with the green lotus and ruffled my brother’s clothes. By the shore, a small boat swayed gently, and the moonlight shone long on the shore, illuminating his clear eyes. At that moment, I suddenly realized that his eyes were much easier to understand and purer than Yinze’s. He turned his head away, and his ears turned red. “When I was young, I just wanted to marry Weiwei.”

I knew that my brother was sincere and there was no other meaning behind his words. Yinze had also promised to marry me. But now, I didn’t even dare to think about it. Before I could answer, my brother said, “Weiwei, I’m not asking you to give me an answer now. I just want you to know that I know this path you’re on is very difficult. But no matter how hard or tired you are, as long as you turn around, you can see me immediately.”

I turned around and played with the water in the Luo River using magic, making the water bloom like butterflies under the moonlight. Su Zhao truly deserved the nickname “Moon City”. No matter how many years passed, the moonlight here remained unchanged. The night in Su Zhao was no less beautiful than any other good time in the immortal realm.

I remember when I was young, my brother and other friends often came here to play. My brother was quieter and less sociable than he is now. He would always sit in a corner reading a book alone and I would have to drag him to join us. I often felt that this brother was more like a sister. Not only was he more beautiful than a girl, but he was also more reserved.

In the blink of an eye, my brother had become the celestial being Tian Heng, young and promising, and full of vigor. He was completely different from before. In fact, compared to Yinze, he was much more suitable for me. It’s just that I only had Yinze in my heart, and if I were with my brother at this moment, it would be a real betrayal to him.

I splashed some water from the Luo River onto my brother. He dodged, but couldn’t completely avoid it, and water droplets landed on his face and temples. I said, “Why should I choose you? How are you better than Yinze? He’s more handsome than you and more powerful.”

“I’m younger than him,” my brother replied, completely unfazed, and added confidently, “Seven thousand years younger.”

I laughed and squatted on the ground, leaving him standing there awkwardly. Although I didn’t have romantic feelings for him, I knew that no one could replace him in this world. And I also knew that after my parents passed away, he was the only one who would stay by my side and never leave, no matter how stormy the world became.

The next day, my brother and Yinze left Su Zhao together. I only saw them off to the Luo River before preparing to watch them leave. Before leaving, my brother said to me, “Don’t sneak out in the middle of the night.” Then he waved and followed Yinze. Yinze didn’t use any magic to block the rain, but instead held the umbrella I made for him. He turned around in the rain and gave me one last, faint look, then waved his sleeve and disappeared into the rain with my brother.

This was the last rain in Su Zhao for decades. On my way back to the Zi Chao Palace, I heard a woman of Su Zhao playing the konghou in the air, singing softly:

In the past, you and I were as close as heart and soul,

Now, you and I are like geese flying apart.

In the past, you and I were together day and night,

Now, you and I are strangers.

In the past, you and I listened to the rain together,

Now, you and I are on opposite sides of the world...

The song was so sad that it made people feel heartbroken. The inexplicable sadness in this autumn rain gave me a sense of almost desperate foreboding: After Yinze left, he would probably never return.

However, the reality was even worse than I thought.

After they left, I heard countless rumors about the war between gods and demons. What I could confirm was that Yinze, the Divine Lord, had invaded the demon realm and rescued Zhaohua Ji. The Demon Lord Zi Xiu was furious and led his entire army to attack the divine realm, crossing the divine and demonic barrier. Because Zi Xiu’s attack was impulsive, the demon realm was always at a disadvantage, so the war ended within a month with the defeat of the demon realm.

Two months passed since the war, but I still hadn’t heard from Yinze. I thought that perhaps Yinze had gone to great lengths to rescue Shang Yan, and she had been so moved that they had finally reunited. With Shang Yan by his side, he naturally wouldn’t need me anymore. As days turned into weeks, my heart grew heavier and heavier. I planned to wait until my brother returned and cry my heart out in his arms. I racked my brain, imagining countless possibilities, but I never expected that the person who wouldn’t return was not just Yinze.

Or rather, my brother did return, but in a way I hadn’t expected.

Three months later, at the beginning of winter, with the sky filled with a dreary snow, I heard the news of Ling Yin God’s arrival. Wrapped in a fur coat, I rushed to the edge of the Luo River and, together with my second sister and the people of Su Zhao, welcomed his arrival. Then, before the thousands of kneeling people, a coffin covered in snow was slowly pushed forward.

I was originally bowing, but at this sight, I slowly straightened up and took two steps forward.

I saw Ling Yin God say a few words to my second sister, then he walked over to me and said solemnly, “After the war, he didn’t know whether to help his father or his mother. Zi Xiu wanted to kidnap Shang Yan, and Yinze attacked Zi Xiu with ‘Ice Separation Divine Powder’, but he went to protect his father and was killed instantly.”

The blood in my head and limbs seemed to be flowing backward. My vision blurred, and the roaring wind and snow outside seemed to waver. The cold coffin swayed in my vision. I croaked, “It’s impossible.”

Ling Yin God glanced at me and paused, as if he was reluctant to continue. “Because of this incident, the Heavenly Emperor discovered that he had demonic blood in his body. And he saved Zi Xiu’s life, which was understandable emotionally but violated the heavenly laws. Therefore, his body cannot enter the ancestral shrine of the immortal realm and can only be sent back here.”

Hearing this, my second sister covered her mouth and tears fell down her cheeks one by one. She buried her head in Kong Shu’s arms and said, “Chen Zhi, how could it be Chen Zhi... my brother...”

“It’s impossible, it’s impossible...”

It seemed like I could only say these words. I rushed forward and forcefully pushed open the coffin lid. Then, when I saw the person lying inside, I was completely stunned. Ling Yin God sighed, “Life and death are predetermined, please grieve.”

The last time I saw him was only three months ago, and we were still laughing and talking by the Luo River. At that time, all I was worried about was whether Yinze would return, but I never thought that my brother wouldn’t return. How could I have imagined that his casual words, “Don’t sneak out in the middle of the night,” would be the last words he ever said to me?

“Brother...” I pulled at the corner of his clothes, “Brother...”

The person in the coffin didn’t move. It felt like there was a fire burning in my chest, and it was about to explode. I held back my breath and pushed him a few more times, “Brother... wake up, wake up...”

There was still no movement. He was wearing the battle robe of a celestial being, and his favorite sword was still in his arms. His black hair was like a raven, his eyes were gently closed, and his long eyelashes drooped down. His young skin was as taut as before, not looking like the skin of a deceased person at all. I reached out my trembling fingers and touched his cheek, but the piercing coldness made me retract my hand.

At that moment, even breathing became extremely difficult. I couldn’t say another word, I supported myself on the edge of the coffin, closed my eyes and frowned, trying to regain my composure. It couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be real. My brother, he had just gone to save his mother, and he had promised me that he would always be with me. He was so young, he still had a bright future ahead of him. He was so young, so I was never afraid of waiting for him too long, because he had so much time to wait.

When I opened my eyes again, my eyes were burning and my tears almost melted my eyeballs. My head was dizzy, and I felt like I was in the most terrible nightmare in the world. But the snowflakes were falling on his black hair, the air was cold, and yet it was so real. I wanted to touch his face again, but before my fingers touched his skin, a hot flow surged up from my chest, stopping my movement. I hunched over and couldn’t hold back anymore, spitting out a mouthful of blood!

“Your Highness!”

“Weiwei!!”

My second sister and the others quickly came to help me. At the same time, my abdomen started to ache. I covered my stomach, lay in my second sister’s arms, grabbed the collar of her fox fur coat, and wept uncontrollably, “Second Sister... cough, I want him back, I can’t live without him... Brother... he can’t be gone...”

“Weiwei, Weiwei, are you alright?” My second sister’s face turned pale. “Physician, quickly call the physician! She’s bleeding a lot!”

I looked down and saw that my chest was stained with blood, and there was a lot of fresh blood on the snow. But I no longer cared about that.

“Even if Master doesn’t want you, you still have me.”

“When I was young, I just wanted to marry Weiwei.”

The last time, he was right here, saying these words to me. He would still smile, get angry, blush, and flick my forehead. Looking up at the coffin in front of me, I pushed my second sister away and used water magic to move him out of the coffin and into my arms.

The corpse was cold and stiff, completely different from the feeling I had before. Snowflakes fell on both of us, and I held his head, wanting to call him one last time, but my body couldn’t bear it. I closed my eyes and fell onto him.

I always thought you wouldn’t leave. But it was just an illusion.

“Your Highness, the little princess is three months pregnant.” I vaguely heard someone say.