Chapter 86

Loving Him Is The Best Thing I’ve Ever Done

Zhao Xiaorou, deeply in love, had no interest in fighting. Upon seeing the message from Hu Xiu, she still rolled her eyes dramatically.

Hu Xiu, waking up at 5:30 AM to study at home, saw Ma Liang’s emotional confession late at night.

Hu Xiu didn’t reply; instead, she took a screenshot and sent it to Zhao Xiaorou. Ma Liang had shared his location on the map—Shenhai Expressway—saying he was crazy for love in the middle of the night.

While Hu Xiu was listening to a listening comprehension exercise on the Put Forum, she usually had her notifications set to “Do Not Disturb.” When she opened her phone, she saw a series of love stories.

In the two and a half months since she had been playing murder mystery games, Ma Liang’s love life had rapidly moved from Xintiandi to Huaihai Road and then nonstop to a villa in the western suburbs.

The version of the love story he shared was that he had a quick falling out with Casey, a woman he had met at Ogilvy while working on a pitch. Casey was 36, had enhanced her figure with a D cup, and walked past him like a strong wind.

Though Ma Liang liked her type, he didn’t like her overly filled face and instead was more drawn to Jacqueline, who was slim but had a strong presence—though Jacqueline didn’t even acknowledge him.

Obsessed, Casey and Ma Liang went to the same gym, and one night, Ma Liang was dazzled by the headlights of her car and followed her upstairs.

After a passionate session on the floor-to-ceiling bed, Ma Liang felt satisfied, thinking that the location was perfect; no need to drive to work or to the gym.

Despite his lingering thoughts on the F-cup internet celebrity from the nightclub, he packed his backpack and went to Casey’s place. He even went with her to Hong Kong Center to buy matching couple bracelets.

He was happy to receive a gift, but when Casey left, she said, “Tiffany, silver stuff, just wear it for fun.”

Ma Liang took her words to heart.

From the first rays of sunlight in the morning, Casey began to complain: the curtains weren’t closed right, there was dust on the floor, the man beside her wasn’t “up” in time, and the client might cut the budget this year… she was very particular.

But Ma Liang couldn’t tolerate it anymore. As he put it, he had realized how straightforward the women who didn’t complain were. The Tiffany bracelet, which she wore carelessly, showed her indifference to him. She wouldn’t be the woman he loved the most.

He stacked his IWC watch and the bracelet, then went to a friend’s wedding at the gym and met his current girlfriend, Darcy.

Frequent breakups had left him a bit tired, and he was indifferent toward Darcy, who clung to him. She would bring him food and medicine to his office, worried he would avoid her because of money. She even went to Starbucks to listen to all his past stories.

One day, he asked Darcy, “What made you fall for me at first sight?”

Darcy looked at him with stars in her eyes: “All the men around me just care about my money, but you are so restrained, so polite, and so hardworking. I really like you.”

In Hu Xiu’s message, Ma Liang expressed passionately: “Few people truly care about my past. From a small delivery boy in Fengxian to who I am now, Ma Liang, Darcy genuinely appreciated my efforts and is willing to become a part of my life.

I’m really happy. I don’t know if this is real, but I like it so much.

Now I also understand that after thirty, a woman’s delicate features are all pumped in with syringes. Besides nourishing the yin, I also provide emotional value, which is excellent.

Of course, even now, I occasionally miss Rou Rou. She’s the most real girl I’ve ever liked, no pretense, no hypocrisy. Even when she scolded me, it was for my own improvement.

But I still have to move on. Darcy wants to introduce me to her parents, and maybe I’m going to get married.”

The series of messages went unanswered. At this point, Hu Xiu couldn’t help but ask, “Huh?”

“Her grandmother passed away, and I’m invited to a tofu dinner. What should I wear?”

Although Zhao Xiaorou wasn’t surprised, she couldn’t help but call back when she heard Ma Liang was moving to Qingpu: “Cathy, Casey, Darcy, all to chase after rich women, really heading west. What the hell was I doing back then, saving the world?”

“Sending the Buddha to the west? Everyone says good deeds are rewarded with good and bad deeds with bad. Ma Liang’s sincerity to money must have moved Buddha, huh?

His rise was so smooth, did listening to the great compassion mantra count as paying the entrance fee?”

When Hu Xiu heard this rant, she realized Zhao Xiaorou was really angry. She didn’t dare to answer: “I really don’t understand why he’d want to be friends with me.”

“Because you’re a great translator, useful; and you’re still my friend. Even though I’m an internet celebrity, I’m someone well-known, and I’m Gong Huaicong’s ex-girlfriend.”

Zhao Xiaorou was about to swear: “Damn it.”

Hu Xiu looked up at the time—it was only 7 AM. Their biological clocks were so synchronized, mostly because Zhao Xiaorou had to go to Sanya for a shoot and was bored waiting at the airport, and Hu Xiu had been studying early.

Zhao Xiaorou said, “Enough talk. Li Ai is coming. Although dating Li Ai is happy, it has sealed my wild nerves. Sometimes I want to curse, but the words itch in my throat and it’s uncomfortable.”

“What’s there to curse now? You’ve clearly got everything.”

“Next week, I’ll see Wang Guangming again. After coming back from a business trip, there’s a fashion blogger sharing session, hosted by Yi Zhou, five people, and of course, he and I are the grand finale. Who does he think he’s looking down on? I have 6.5 million more followers than him, damn it.”

“He’s just an ex-husband, don’t mind it…”

“I don’t mind, I’m afraid Li Ai will mind.” Zhao Xiaorou’s voice gradually lowered, and before hanging up, she said one last sentence: “Before we divorced, Wang Guangming said I couldn’t get over my crippled ex, and I got angry.”

It rained on the day of the interview. Zhao Xiaorou arrived wearing sunglasses and spotted Wang Guangming from a distance.

The sunglasses were definitely the right choice; she knew this old fox too well—he knew which leg he would lead with when walking, how many bowls of rice he could eat, where he would push his ass when acting like a wallflower, they both knew each other too well.

Being at the Yi Zhou event made Zhao Xiaorou uncomfortable, but when she saw her own title as a fashion blogger and Wang Guangming’s as a senior media person, she felt a bit more balanced—he hadn’t made any progress other than showing off his mouth.

Green tea won’t make men progress; the moment a man is held in the palm of a woman’s hand and treated as a treasure is the peak of his life’s roller coaster.

Yi Zhou organized the event for bloggers, and all the bloggers had followers in the eight-digit range. Each blogger had set up an MCN line, signing actors or other bloggers under their brand and working closely with them.

Zhao Xiaorou sat on stage listening, with Wang Guangming two seats away. Li Ai sat in the front row, constantly replying to messages on his phone.

He was worried she would clash with Wang Guangming, so he came over to cling to her. Back when they were small-time bloggers, now everyone had made it big with agencies. Hu Xiu quietly felt anxious—her own follower count wasn’t small, but it hadn’t amounted to much. She was already behind in an industry where new bloggers constantly emerge.

Wang Guangming, the veteran media person, picked up the microphone and kept mentioning his relationship with Zhao Xiaorou.

The familiar actor’s skill came back again. Hu Xiu switched her crossed legs to the other side, holding back her irritation, only to feel that Wang Guangming had come to the event just to gain followers.

In front of the flashing lights and cameras, Zhao Xiaorou only responded with a cold smile.

As the number nine fashion blogger of 2019, Zhao Xiaorou spoke eloquently about her three years of fan operations and brand collaborations.

Her voice was sweet and composed as she talked about the difficulties she faced, including having fallen out with her business partner: “As everyone knows, my crisis moment was when Gong Huaicong and I broke up and it trended.

At the time, our team only had ten people. If it weren’t for my partners and friends pulling me back, maybe right now I’d be a ten-million-follower blogger, but I missed the chance to grow.”

Laughter filled the room. Li Ai raised his head and gestured for her to speak less.

Zhao Xiaorou changed the subject: “But I think it’s very important to demonstrate professionalism and an understanding of brands.

The fashion industry may seem like a low-barrier field with everyone becoming bloggers, but many bloggers come from fashion or luxury brand management backgrounds abroad. They have a keen sense of brand perception and an avant-garde grasp of trends. The fashion blogger industry is as competitive as the fashion magazine industry once was…”

After the event, Yi Zhou arranged a dinner for the group. After dinner, some of the people were still unsatisfied and asked Zhao Xiaorou if she wanted to go out and continue the night.

Zhao Xiaorou, with Li Ai, originally planned to sneak home to watch a movie but was stopped by Wang Guangming: “It’s rare to meet like this, and you’re bringing your new boyfriend. Let’s go to the bar and chat?”

“No, I’m a bit busy.”

“It’s not just me. There are so many media people here. Don’t offend the media, Zhao Xiaorou.”

The group went upstairs in the elevator, and as soon as the doors opened, the thumping music made her head ache.

The people in the dance floor surged into the aisle, filling it completely. They sat in the VIP area, and after a few rounds of drinks, Li Ai quietly collapsed onto the floor. He couldn’t take it anymore and made an excuse about joint pain.

Wang Guangming raised his glass from a distance: “Is it really that hard to limp? Gout? High purine? Sorry, you can’t drink, but I still invited you.”

Li Ai smiled and moved to sit in a corner. While catching up with old friends, Zhao Xiaorou overheard Wang Guangming nearby, saying that Zhao Xiaorou had been messing around after the divorce, changing boyfriends, stirring up topics, and working hard on her “straightforward” persona, unaware that everyone was behind her back talking about her divorce.

Divorce was difficult for women; whether it was initiated or forced, they were seen as abandoned.

Zhao Xiaorou was good at acting, always changing boyfriends, but now she’d lowered her standards and ended up with a cripple.

Hearing this made Zhao Xiaorou unhappy, so she moved next to Li Ai and drank. As the music slowed, Wang Guangming’s voice became clearer: “The day Gong Huaicong broke up with her, I was at the same event, in a Mercedes. Her face turned green.

Watching her in that situation, I felt embarrassed for her. She didn’t want to be recognized as his ex-husband.

Without my persona, she would just be a little internet celebrity, and now it’s proven, she’s not very smart.”

In love, people’s perceptions are often biased by their subjectivity.

Hu Xiu had once thought that the kind-hearted Wang Guangming had left her basic dignity at the Mercedes event, but in reality, his thoughts were—embarrassment.

Unable to bear it any longer...

“Li Ai…”

“Huh?”

“You like me, Zhao Xiaorou, don’t you?”

“Of course…”

“I’m sorry earlier, I was acting. In this kind of situation, running into Wang Guangming again made you see my hypocritical side. But now I’ll be myself for a few minutes, don’t mind it.”

Before Li Ai could reply, Zhao Xiaorou tossed off her shoes, holding them in her hand as she marched over—

This time, she learned her lesson and wouldn’t lose in terms of momentum. She took off her shoes first, and not only that, she also took off her hat, steadied herself in her skirt, and swung her high heels at Wang Guangming: “Wang Guangming, let me tell you, you can say whatever you want, look down on me all you like, but if you say one bad thing about Li Ai, I’ll smash your dog head.

Living with your green tea bitch of a mistress, how can your mouth be so foul? Can your grandma’s antique sewing machine sew up that filthy mouth of yours?”

Wang Guangming was stunned by the hit: “It’s been a year, and you’ve grown a temper?”

“I’ve always had a temper. When I was with you, I was tied down by your persona. Now, I don’t need to.”

“You’re like a toad, once everyone thought you were a golden frog. Now what? You’re running around trying to disgust people? Say another word, and I’ll slap you without hesitation.”

“You used to cry like a flower in the rain, now you’ve switched to hitting people? Does your crippled boyfriend like you like this?”

Fury surged through Zhao Xiaorou, and she swung her shoe again. This time, the pointed heel grazed Wang Guangming’s front teeth. He grabbed her hair: “Are you crazy? Is this never-ending?”

“Say another word about Li Ai, and see what happens.”

The music in the bar was booming, and conflicts were common when people were drunk. A well-dressed man wearing glasses was holding a small woman in the VIP area. It seemed impossible that they were actually fighting.

Wang Guangming pinched Zhao Xiaorou’s hair: “How much were you holding in before? Pretending to be pitiful in front of me for two years. Now that you’ve eaten the benefits of the ‘beauty plus persona’ after the divorce, running wild and getting criticized, are you happy?

Also, if you hadn’t fallen so low, how could you deserve your crippled boyfriend?

You really have no class. Without me, you wouldn’t have amounted to anything. Now, you’re not even worthy of your eight million followers. Thank Gong Huaicong, he’s your life’s highest point. I also heard you’ve been tricked by a scammer, you really have no brains.”

A hand grabbed Wang Guangming’s wrist—it was Li Ai. Standing up, Li Ai was half a head taller than Wang Guangming. “Please be more polite. You were married to her, but you’re divorced now. She’s my girlfriend, and I’ve liked her for a long time.

Whether she’s ‘worthy’ or not, Zhao Xiaorou has never been unworthy of me, it’s I who am unworthy of her. Can you let go? If this continues, I won’t be so polite.”

Li Ai, who was always polite and maintained basic composure, applied pressure on Wang Guangming’s wrist, though there was a hidden current of tension beneath.

The crowd around them watched as Zhao Xiaorou’s hair was freed. Li Ai picked her up horizontally and carried her into the elevator.

The shoes hung in her hand, perhaps with Wang Guangming’s blood still on the heel, but it didn’t matter. Tonight was her moment of release.

Once they exited, the night wind hit her face, and she realized her cheeks were flushed, burning with heat.

She’d shouted so angrily just now, and her heart was racing—maybe it was Li Ai’s final words that made her heart thud. She asked, “You’ve liked me for a long time, is that true?”

“Mm…”

“When did it start?”

“When you first walked into my coffee shop.”

Zhao Xiaorou froze in his arms: “You’re kidding, right?”

“Really…”

“You’re definitely lying to me.” She slid down to bend over and put her shoes back on. Strangely, while others transform by putting on high heels, when she put them back on, it felt like she was disarming herself.

“I’m not lying to you. But back then, I knew we couldn’t be together. I was tangled in lawsuits, my temper was cold and hard, and just saying I liked you would only bring you pain.

Later, I realized that whether I said it or not, you would always get pain from me.

I’ve also been tortured seeing you sad, but my ex-wife passed away because I couldn’t protect her… I couldn’t easily reach out my hand.”

“You tell everything to Hu Xiu, but there’s a barrier between us.”

“You and Hu Xiu are different. She’s been stuck in the low points for so long, never having worldly possessions, so she can clearly see the texture of the world; you’re different. You haven’t lost that much, but you’re strong, you get confused, you’re swept up and manipulated, and then it turns around and bites you. But me…” Li Ai smiled softly, “I like fools.”

Tears unexpectedly rolled down Zhao Xiaorou’s cheeks: “You can talk about your feelings for me.”

“I already said it, rejected you many times.”

She cupped his face with both hands: “I mean, why didn’t you just say you liked me?”

“Is it too late to say it now?”

The rain had just stopped on the street, and the air grew colder. Zhao Xiaorou looked up at Li Ai, who was wearing glasses. She thought, even if it’s just an afterthought, hearing it from Li Ai was better than never hearing it. This sentence, coming from him, meant something completely different than from any other man.

Li Ai stared at her for a long time before slowly speaking: “I love you…”

After following the rules for so long, she had imagined many times how it would feel when she kissed Li Ai for the first time.

She didn’t expect it to happen on the most uneventful street in Shanghai, with only the quiet streetlights cutting through the chaos, while the sound of her heartbeat was louder than the dynamic music in the background.

There was no ecstatic joy, no madness—she only thought of the night she went with Hu Xiu to see The Rhinoceros in Love. That line, the one that struck her heart:

“I’ve wanted to give up many times, but it left a painful feeling somewhere inside me. The thought that it will always hurt, and that my view of everything will be dull because of that pain, made me scared. Loving him was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

Loving him was the best thing she’d ever done.