Chapter 25

Your persona is your identity, so it’s time for a change 

“You’re not sleep-drunk, are you?”

“No, I really didn’t see it wrong. Last night at 3 AM, he was downstairs from my apartment.”

“Qin Xiaoyi left work and stood downstairs at your place waiting for you, but didn’t go upstairs? This sounds ridiculous, shouldn’t he go up and find you? And the fact that after all this time you two haven’t even exchanged contact info—ridiculous.”

“Maybe he just came to space out. We should change the way we call him. His name is Diao Zhiyu…”

“Not everyone is like you, going to space out three kilometers away. Use your brain. Diao Zhiyu isn’t interested in you. I, Zhao Xiaorou, would eat all these cameras in front of me.”

“Forget it, the shooting started. 9 AM, an advertisement shoot. I wouldn’t get up this early for a 100,000 yuan collaboration fee if it wasn’t for that. Plus, I have to be under the sun. All that water-based skin care was wasted.”

Zhao Xiaorou’s words couldn’t be completely trusted. After all, Hu Xiu still remembered the expression on Li Rong’s face when he told the blue-haired woman, “We’re getting married.” The “Loyal to my country, loyal to my wife” line was also something he had said himself. It was no joke.

After a good night’s sleep, Hu Xiu’s mind was clear. She even bought some pan-fried buns and soy milk—

She misjudged the weight. She ordered 200 grams of pan-fried buns, and now there were two big boxes on the table, looking like they could be used to load a mortar shell.

A new scheduling document came through on her computer, and Hu Xiu glanced at it—looks like the pan-fried buns had a purpose.

Since meeting Dr. Pei, she had been keeping an eye on his name on the schedule. As a final-year resident, Dr. Pei worked from 8 or 9 PM and sometimes stayed up all night for difficult surgeries. Besides that, he had three night shifts a week, working 80 hours a week.

He also had research papers to write, as he was pursuing a PhD in medicine at Jiaotong University. He was incredibly hardworking, with no time to rest. By the time his night shift ended, he usually hadn’t even eaten breakfast.

She carefully packed 12 pan-fried buns into a meal box, stacking it like a mountain, and quietly snuck into Dr. Pei’s office to put it on his desk, preparing to run away.

But as she reached the door, she bumped into someone. She looked up—it was Pei Zhen. His single eyelids were really single, and his nose was straight. When he hadn’t woken up, his eyes looked like sharp blades, long and thin—not ugly, but even a little charming.

Dr. Pei wasn’t short. Leaning against the door, he seemed about to fall asleep. “You looking for me for something?”

“No, just putting the schedule here.”

“Okay. But next time, no need to leave it. I asked for the schedule before to avoid the head nurse’s matchmaking.”

“Breakfast? Is this for me?”

“Yeah…”

“Thanks…” Pei Zhen tossed his white coat over the back of a chair, slinging a shirt on his shoulders, preparing to get off work—November, wasn’t he cold?

The next moment, he stopped and shook his head with a smile. “No, I’m too hungry.”

When he reached the door, Hu Xiu could hear the sound of him slurping the soup. He was really hungry—12 pan-fried buns vanished in a flash.

Actors behind the scenes at Snowpiercer had a similar five-minute meal time. Whether actors or doctors, scene after scene, surgery after surgery, their work hours weren’t jobs where they could easily sit down and enjoy a meal.

In comparison, Hu Xiu still had time to go to the cafeteria to queue up, eat, then sneak off to buy a coffee—her day was relatively relaxed.

For ten consecutive days, Hu Xiu didn’t go to Snowpiercer. She looked through other murder mystery scripts on her phone. The reviews were somewhat dull.

The only one that piqued her interest was in a distant suburb, with 50 real NPCs and 50 players, ten gangs, and actors who were all students from Shanghai Theatre Academy. It sounded very tempting, but it only opened on weekends.

Weekends were spent doing translations, and she had saved up 50,000 yuan in bits and pieces.

Sure enough, stable income and not splurging too much allowed her to accumulate some savings.

Looking back at the days when she practiced oral English relentlessly to pass the translation exams, it felt worthwhile.

Sitting in a suburban forest park, Hu Xiu watched Zhao Xiaorou film a video. Ning Zechen, hiding behind the camera, was making her laugh. Hu Xiu faintly felt that Zhao Xiaorou’s sunglasses were bound to give her away.

Sure enough, after they finished filming, the two of them walked over to Hu Xiu. Zhao Xiaorou playfully said, “You’re deliberately messing things up. All the footage is ruined because your reflection kept showing up in my sunglasses.”

“You have to wear sunglasses. This is just a park. Being an internet celebrity is exhausting, all that fake behavior.”

Ning Zechen sat cross-legged on the grass, poking a dimple on Zhao Xiaorou’s face.

Her hand was naturally pushed away with a reproachful tone: “Mind your own business…”

What kind of sin had she committed, coming to the park to watch others flaunt their love? Hu Xiu sat by the picnic basket, smelling the bread, and sighed in sorrow.

Her phone vibrated, and she glanced at it: “Li Ai wants us to go for coffee on Friday.”

“Oh...” Zhao Xiaorou was spreading out the picnic blanket. The basket was filled with fresh fruits and sandwiches; she had come prepared.

“Where? Take me with you…”

“No, that’s our secret haven.”

“But I’m your boyfriend.”

“A fine of two thousand for private contact.”

Ning Zechen acted like a spoiled child and hugged Zhao Xiaorou: “Baby, it’s okay, this isn’t the Snowpiercer. Besides, if we get caught, we can just say we’ve known each other for a long time.”

Who knew Zhao Xiaorou immediately pushed him away: “You were the one who said you wanted to keep our distance outside the show. Now you want to unilaterally change the terms, did you ask me?”

Zhao Xiaorou’s poised and assertive attitude made Ning Zechen pause for a second, but he still smiled and leaned against her.

His muscles tightened in the athletic shirt he wore, and he worked hard to exude charm, as if afraid of being abandoned by Zhao Xiaorou.

In the past, Zhao Xiaorou had always acted gentle and considerate when dealing with Wang Guangming’s moral pressures, seemingly accepting everything, which only fueled his growing obsession. Wang Guangming was eventually burned to the point of becoming brittle porcelain, which she then shattered with her own hands.

Now, she directly confronted Ning Zechen, clearly stating her position, no longer a slave to men, which only made him more infatuated.

Looking back at why her ex-boyfriend had abandoned her, Hu Xiu realized she had been submissive, always tolerating and accepting everything, and the expression she had seen most often from him was… disgust.

Men are truly strange creatures. Or perhaps, human nature has always been like this. When two people are in love, it’s like a seesaw or a tug-of-war, with weights stacked on the balance. Whether it swings happily or struggles angrily, there is never absolute equality. The one being pampered always has confidence.

“What are you daydreaming about? Still thinking about Diao Zhi Yu?” Ning Zechen teased, his fingers waving in front of Hu Xiu: “I told you this is work, and there’s no need to avoid seeing Diao Zhi Yu.”

“Seeing you guys still costs money.” Hu Xiu leaned against the tree, hands behind her head. When she saw Ning Zechen glance at her chest, she rolled her eyes: “What’s the point of watching you guys flirt for money, I’ve almost finished my task anyway.”

“I can tell, you’re holding a grudge.” Ning Zechen laughed: “Just like us working while slacking off, we have little side tricks going on, it’s no different than being lazy.”

“Diao Zhi Yu makes money to create works, not to really be a kept man for a rich woman. What’s there for you to be jealous about?”

Create works. Hu Xiu silently took note in her heart, but her expression still looked disappointed: “Maybe I showed him too much of my affection, so to him, I’m just not that important.”

Zhao Xiaorou patted Hu Xiu’s leg: “How much of your feelings for Qin Xiao Yi are real, and how much are fake? It’s time to change your image. Constantly showing your true feelings and confessing wildly won’t make a man care more.”

“I think not going downstairs to see him is a good start. It’s time to turn the tables and let him chase you.”

Hu Xiu didn’t answer. From Qin Xiao Yi to Diao Zhi Yu, it felt like her feelings had changed.

If Qin Xiao Yi’s deep affection and aloofness had been the reason she was infatuated, then with Diao Zhi Yu, it was simply his acting skills she admired.

Li Rong was cunning and shameless, but it proved how dedicated he was to his clients. Even though she cried last night, she still didn’t go downstairs. She hadn’t figured it out herself.

But there was always a voice in her head telling her: don’t go down, if you do, you’ve lost.

Even if it’s a romance script, the high-level acting should be to make him panic once.

But now, by refusing to go to the Snowpiercer, she might indeed never see Diao Zhi Yu again, after all, the chance for him to come to her house was just a one-time occurrence.

Originally, it didn’t matter, but seeing Ning Zechen, who was also in Rongcheng, made her miss Qin Xiao Yi even more.

On the eleventh day of not going to the Snowpiercer, on Friday, before leaving work, Hu Xiu placed a bag on her desk. Inside was a box of GODIVA chocolates with a note, written in a script so hard to read it looked like ancient writing. Hu Xiu deciphered it on the subway after some effort: “Twelve Sheng Jian, thank you.”

The box probably contained twelve chocolates. The handwriting looked like it had been written in too much of a rush.

Carrying the chocolates to REGARD, Zhao Xiaorou was packing beans for Li Ai.

She wrapped the 250g coffee beans in kraft paper, sealed them, and placed them into a Thanksgiving gift bag. Winter had quietly arrived.

In the video, Zhao Xiaorou was answering questions. Her page had hired an editor; on the left side were the questions from netizens, and on the right, she was holding her phone while commenting.

Her videos were completely different from before. After her transformation, her emotional advice had become sharper: “Rou Rou, a guy I’m seeing for a blind date says he fell in love with me at first sight and texted me at midnight. He said if wishes could come true, he’d want to be with me in this life and the next, loves me so much that he’s sure his dad would approve and that our future son would think I’m his ideal type—how should I reply? This is easy, a toad looking to marry a frog, from a family of golden toads.”

“Rou Rou, what is the meaning of love? My boyfriend often works overtime and doesn’t come home, claiming he’s out for meals with colleagues. What should I do?”

“Love has no meaning. Don’t try to understand such broad theories. Instead, think about the current situation. He doesn’t have time for you, so don’t waste your time on him. There are 3.5 billion other men in the world.”

“‘Rou Rou, I’m a male fan. I’m so happy for you that you’re divorced and living for yourself. What’s your ideal type now? Do you feel insecure because of your divorce?’”

“A big thank you to this male fan, but recently I don’t want to date anymore, I’m enjoying being single. My career won’t abandon me. Divorce is just the end of a relationship, not a criminal record. You need to distinguish between the concepts. The word ‘divorce’ carries a biased connotation, but I’m just single.”

Enjoying being single—Ning Zechen was only ten kilometers away, and would rush to Xiabei Garden after work to meet her privately.

Hu Xiu smiled and asked Zhao Xiaorou why she was broadcasting her video, saying that narcissism should have its limits.

Zhao Xiaorou, wearing disposable gloves, carefully weighed the beans: “Just boosting my traffic, one more person is one more.”

The comments flashing on the video weren’t friendly. Hu Xiu tried to focus on the content but was still distracted by comments like “How many projects has your nose done? Stop already, you slut” that caught her attention.

Being an internet celebrity required a strong mental fortitude. Hu Xiu bent over to tie her shoes: “If you speak so bluntly, you’ll get criticized.”

“I don’t care, the more drama, the more attention. Opportunities in this world are for those who have the desire to express and express well. I don’t need to keep up the obedient persona anymore. From now on, I’m going to be myself.”

“Won’t people say you’ve changed too much?”

“Of course they will, but the people who like me will still follow me, because I’m interesting, witty, and rich.”

“I still feel like, careful does it... the ship lasts a thousand years...”

“Please, I’m a self-media influencer. If I’m too careful, no one will remember me.”

“Not true, it’s a time of thriving diversity.”

“Thriving diversity means none stand out. The key now is everyone is trying to build a style, and people without one won’t be remembered. Just look at how quickly fashion can show it. When Ni Ni and Jing Boran wear Uniqlo, it looks great because they are Ni Ni and Jing Boran. Zhang Jiangnan can still look like himself in Decathlon or The North Face.”

Twenty minutes later, the beans were quickly packed. Li Ai hadn’t spoken much, but laughed at this statement: “Look, Zhao Xiaorou is starting to sell her straightforward persona, and now her followers have increased compared to before.”

“Because people don’t like the demure girl anymore. In the past, many guys watched me, mostly from the perspective of looking at their girlfriends. Girls would learn from me how to be a gentle wife. Now, most of my new followers are girls who want to see how I’m being an independent woman.”

“So now you just speak the truth?”

“How do you know I’m always telling the truth? It’s just creating touchpoints to stir up arguments.”

“My Weibo often gets harsh comments now. Men say I’m a shameless divorced woman, vain and promiscuous, and no one wants me. Women say no wonder my husband cheated on me, because I speak too arrogantly—damn, these marriage slaves. But thanks to them, I don’t even need to buy fake engagement, it’s all real emotions from people typing at their keyboards, sometimes they even split into two camps to debate.”

“Look, Zhao Xiaorou, the darker version, is quite terrifying.”

“I just saw through it. When I was young, my parents always told me to follow the rules, but when I grew up, I realized that being a bad person early on leads to a better life. People who think power brings convenience are all corrupt, and people who think beautiful celebrities all use underhanded tactics—what about in real life? Retweeting lottery giveaways, rushing to coupon live streams, they’re more enthusiastic than anyone. That doesn’t mean these people are bad, but when the benefits are right in front of you, it’s normal to waver; it’s just the size of the reward.

People complain about capital exploiting the masses, but once you hold the sickle, you only get more excited when you see the blood. You may despise influencers buying data and arguing, but you have to admit these people, with their distorted emotional intelligence, manage to get by in this industry.

Jealousy towards those who gain power and money is just sour grapes. Complaining because you haven’t gotten a slice of the pie—those who have tasted the sweetness will quickly blend in. Once you see the pattern, it’s not so shameful to play the bad guy. So, what, do you think I’m bad?”

Li Ai and Hu Xiu exchanged glances, but neither spoke. Zhao Xiaorou’s face, which had been tense, suddenly relaxed: “Don’t worry, I’m just explaining the logic to you, I won’t put these words out in public.”

“That’s good...”

Zhao Xiaorou leaned against Hu Xiu: “Have you noticed, Li Ai doesn’t say sweet things to me anymore.”

“You have a boyfriend, I have to avoid suspicion.”

Hu Xiu couldn’t have missed that Zhao Xiaorou wasn’t happy. A smart woman never makes a scene in front of Li Ai. Although Zhao Xiaorou was tough with him, she never interrogated him, and saying she was single had already been the greatest lowering of her pride.

She just rested her head on Hu Xiu’s shoulder: “It’s boring, once you have love, you lose friendship. I can only enjoy the pleasures men bring.”

“Like what?”

“The massage oil I bought has arrived. I’ll give myself a hand massage on my eight-pack abs when I get back.”

Upon hearing this, Li Ai’s posture stiffened. Hu Xiu silently thought to herself that women were terrifying, especially those who were in love but still had thoughts of others. As long as Li Ai didn’t openly show his jealousy, Zhao Xiaorou would keep being passive-aggressive—why did she have to be in this situation?

Someone once said that the chance of encountering love after marriage is one hundred percent. But in reality, if it’s not destined, most people would experience love again during a relationship, and the rest is just a test of human nature.

When Hu Xiu was a teenager, she joked with her deskmate about love, but when a boy from the next class came near her while playing basketball, she felt afraid for the first time about liking two people at the same time.

At eighteen, when her mom brought friends home, thinking of her estranged father, she finally realized that her fear was justified. That feeling of attraction she once thought was wrong—was just human nature.

The chances of encountering true love were slim, and many people who cheat don’t necessarily mean that their past partners don’t hold weight in their hearts.

So those who can love each other mutually and are destined to be together are truly lucky.

The sound of a shutter closing startled all three in the room. The clock showed ten, and more than half of the shops on Yuyuan Road had closed. The knocking on the iron door wasn’t loud, but it was enough to make one feel uneasy. Hu Xiu glanced at Li Ai: “It wouldn’t be some rich second generation trying to settle a lawsuit, would it...”

“It’s impossible. He’d rather avoid me as far as possible, coming to scare me would only hurt his case.”

Zhao Xiaorou set up her phone: “Doesn’t matter who it is, anyone who would specifically come here to knock on the door, knowing someone’s inside, must be someone familiar.”

“Ning Zechen?”

“No, he’s the main focus today, he’s at work. Wow, who could it be? Maybe my next viral video is coming.”

The roller shutter slowly rose, and Hu Xiu’s heart raced. She felt like her body wasn’t functioning properly.

Zhao Xiaorou, halfway through recording, gasped, “Oh my God…”

Li Ai opened the door, and there stood Qian Xiao Yi. No, it was Diao Zhi Yu, who politely asked, “Hello, Li Ai? Sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Hu Xiu.”