Masterman's Record-Breaking Leadership

In a remarkable revelation that has left the community in awe, Masterman High School has emerged with a report showcasing unparalleled student involvement and leadership. According to the latest statistics released by the school administration, students at Masterman High School hold the prestigious title of president for an average of ten clubs.

From academic societies to sports teams, Masterman students are not merely participants but leaders. Half of the student body took pride in the communication and organizational skills they built for their respective large-scale clubs.

Josh Cohen (24’) is considered a pioneer in this latest club revolution. He has recently expanded even further, creating Club Club, an organization solely dedicated to teaching students the managerial skills required for building and scaling clubs. “Club Club is the next big thing; people need to be qualified for logistical and spiritual leadership in their clubs. I really see a market for this; I expect at least 2.3 people to come on average per month to this.” Cohen exclaims optimistically. 

It isn’t all flying colors with the clubs at Masterman, however. The administration report included a stat showing the five bake sales per day could cause the 4th-floor hallway to regularly exceed fire safety capacity, forcing a reduction in the permitted sales. Clubs are already struggling on their thin 600% percent profit margins on GIANT cupcakes, so leaders are worried about the potential hit to their budgets. Another issue arose during the club fair: no students were around to sign up for clubs, as every student had their own board to tend to.

Perhaps the most surprising statistic from the report is that there were more clubs than students at Masterman. Staff and administration took great pride in this. High School Dean Justin Gilken explained, “This shows the Masterman rigor and courage; we breed leaders.”