Taylor Swift - Midnights

Like I said, I’m not a Swiftie (probably because I was a 10 year old boy in elementary school during the height of Shake It Off), so, from a musical standpoint, I wasn’t thrilled with my first listen-through of Midnights. Luckily, the rest of the school was enthusiastic where I wasn’t. As I walked past Mr. O's gym class and saw a bunch of fifth graders running in circles to Bejeweled, I found myself laughing and singing along. I was amazed by the hand-crafted Midnights earrings a friend of mine wore to school. I enjoyed debating the album’s lyrical and production quality with my fellow writers in Voices, and I found it hilarious that Jack Antonoff and Bleachers were in conversation more than they’d ever been in my time at Masterman. Needless to say, Midnights took the school by storm, and was making me smile left and right. I realized that I couldn’t make this review a scathing critique, not when it was clearly the new favorite album of so many Masterman students, the newest release from their favorite artist, perhaps their musical hero. The artists that I connect to on an emotional level are the reason I love music so much; I couldn’t bring myself to run the possibility of ruining that for anybody. 

I decided that this is how I’d write my review: I’d discuss the good parts of the album, as well as the funny, because, no matter how you feel about Midnights, you have to admit that it has some hilarious moments. If I had the time or space, I’d touch on a few bad parts, or personal hang ups, at least. Either way, I wanted to format this review as more of a conversation than a pros and cons list. I apologize for such a long introduction. Please, sit back, relax, and enjoy my thoughts of Taylor Swift’s Midnights. 

From the first, synth-y notes of “Lavender Haze”, two things are clear: the Jack Antonoff-crafted production of Midnights is going to be off the charts, and this will be Taylor’s most electronic album to date. It’s this production, paired with beltable choruses from Taylor, that make the track both a good opener and indicator of what’s to come. 

After a strong opener, “Maroon” is, unfortunately, a little bland, and I’m not a huge fan of the “wine, lipstick, flowers, rubies, cheeks are maroon” theme, because, yeah, those are just common, adult-y things that happen to be the same color. Regardless, the post-chorus “bur-gun-dy on my t-shirt” flow was addictive. 

“Anti-Hero” feels a bit contradictory to the strong, confident, and kind person Taylor has shown herself to be, and I think she’s less of an anti-hero than she’s making herself out to be. That being said, if you’re feeling a bit like an anti-hero, and the song has been your anthem lately, I totally support relating to it, even if I don’t think the artist who wrote it can. I do love that the track contains the album’s most shoutable chorus, and also the RIDICULOUS line about sexy babies— what did Taylor mean by that!? 

I don’t have much nice to say about “Snow On The Beach”, and I don’t like Lana Del Rey, so I don’t think I’ll say much at all, other than that Taylor’s use of “f*ck” feels more like the one free curse word that PG-13 movies get to use than a meaningful choice of words. The bouncy intro of “You’re On Your Own Kid'' was a lovely change of pace from the sleighbells of the track preceding it. While the song doesn’t get much more exciting than the intro, I certainly enjoyed the fact that it stayed upbeat. Again, I totally support relating to the song if you feel like you’re in a one-way relationship and need to do some living for yourself, or if you’re worried about making it on your own. That being said, the song earns the award for the worst lyric I’ve ever heard with: “I touch my phone as if it's your face.” I threw up a bit in my mouth. 

I wasn’t too enthralled with “Midnight Rain”, and found it rather boring, although the production on the track was both great and hilarious. You can’t tell me that that vocal effect isn’t silly. It’s a little silly. Right, guys?

One of the most enjoyable tracks on the album, “Question”, was delightfully energetic, if not a little silly. I have no idea why the crowded room would be laughing and then clapping, or why Taylor is still dwelling on gender roles if most high schoolers that I know get over them pretty quickly, but, regardless, the “meteor-strike” bridge is one of the best moments of the album. 

When it comes to “Vigilante Sh*t”, Taylor certainly isn’t on it. This parody of Doja’s “Streets” just didn’t do it on an album that has some really good tracks, let alone in such an incredible discography. 

“Bejeweled” is cute, and certainly relatable, because I think everyone at Masterman has the potential to make “the whole place shimmer” (It’s okay guys, you can kill me). I love the chorus; I really do. “Familiarity breeds contempt…” Woo! My only gripes here are that I don’t think anyone is debating that Taylor can still sparkle, and that Jack Antonoff is definitely using the same two beats over and over again. 

“Labyrinth” is both a dull song with a funny elephant trunk sound and an incredible Jim Henson movie starring David Bowie and many puppets. I recommend the latter! 

“Karma” brings the album back to the upbeat side of the street, as well as to hilarious lyrics. The entire chorus makes me laugh with every listen. “Karma is my boyfriend…karma is a cat purring in my lap because it loves me, flexing like a god-damned acrobat.” HAHAHA. I genuinely love this song, simply because it’s so hilarious, which I think is a perfectly good reason to appreciate a song. 

While it may be one of the most stripped-down tracks on the project, “Sweet Nothings” is tender, and the song I found myself relating to the most. I find the image of running home to a partner’s “sweet nothings” to be adorable, and something I’m sure many of us have found ourselves doing often (I know I’ve been doing it every day). The simple nature of the song, as well as its message of love trumping “the end coming," lends a peaceful, wistfully romantic feel to the back half of the album, and would have worked well as an album closer. As such, the project’s actual last track, Mastermind, feels more like a hidden track, and is a bit of a final throwaway. 

The final verdict: While Midnights could feel a tad sleepy at times, it was Taylor’s attempt at a concept album, and in translating “thirteen sleepless midnights,” a few are bound to sound tired. For every flat beat or interesting lyrical choice, there are twice as many anthemic choruses and comforting sentiments. If anything, Midnights feels a bit like an experiment, but one that certainly pays off. Taylor’s vocal and songwriting abilities are undeniably flawless. Jack Antonoff put himself back on the map. Midnights has made Masterman smile, me along with it, and I certainly can’t fault it for that.