Pandemic Pregnancies

Ms. Mistry, who had her baby girl on November 27th, describes the upsides and downsides to being pregnant during a pandemic. Though she was glad not to worry about the commute to school, it was difficult to be “isolated from other adults that can be excited with you.” Albeit she wasn’t able to share her excitement with coworkers at Masterman, Ms. Mistry is grateful for the support from her immediate family, like her husband, mom and sister, who came to help her out. Not everyone has this kind of support, she points out. “I do think about those people raising kids on their own without a partner. I applaud them, and the patience and strength they have.” Additionally, because guests aren’t allowed at doctor appointments where ultrasounds take place, Ms. Mistry had to use FaceTime so her four-year-old daughter, Devika, could see the ultrasounds.

Now that she is on maternity leave, she gets to spend more time with her baby, but she says that maternity leave is a lot more work than most people think. “You’re at the mercy of the baby—when they want to cry, when they want to eat…” But Ms. Mistry also misses her students. “I think about my Masterman kids all the time, but I have to think about this one here.” She says she has to cherish these moments because they “go by so quickly.” The moments where her two daughters interact are certainly special. “My four-year-old introduces herself as Elsa to [her younger sister].”

The pregnancy of Masterman’s third expecting math teacher, Ms. Siu, was certainly exciting, but also coupled with anxiety. Last year around this time, Ms. Siu had a late pregnancy loss and lost her twin boys. A week before the quarantine in March, when she got the news that she was expecting again, trauma from the loss of her twins last year undoubtedly carried through to this pregnancy. Especially with a pandemic looming ahead, it was “really overwhelming and scary.”After losing her twins, Ms. Siu didn’t quite believe that the next birth would produce an alive baby. “I was having a hard time believing she would actually be in my arms and be healthy, even though all signs were pointing to the fact that she would be.” Two weeks before she gave birth to Joy, Ms. Siu experienced Braxton Hicks contractions, which are false labor contractions. “They freaked me out. Was the baby coming or not?”

In the early months of Ms. Siu’s pregnancy, there was little information on how Covid-19 affected pregnancies. This uncertainty increased worries about another loss and added to the anxiety of the process. Even now, Ms. Siu adds, “I believe there still isn’t great information.” She remembers reading an article, however, that people who are pregnant are more likely to experience more severe Covid-19 cases than those who aren’t pregnant. “This confirmed a fear of mine,” Ms. Siu said. “Even with a common cold, you have to be careful with medicine or if you have a fever.”

Like Mr. Tannen’s wife, Ms. Siu often had telemedicine appointments rather than in-person appointments. When she had to go to in-person doctor appointments, she had to go alone. Normally, her husband would’ve been there with her. For Ms. Siu, it felt weird not having someone there with her. Her husband couldn’t be there to hear the ultrasounds, which she says is an important part in feeling connected to the baby. Furthermore, if the appointment brings bad news, having a partner or “support person” there is beneficial. “You don’t necessarily hear everything they’re telling you once you get bad news,” Ms. Siu explains. “You should have somebody with you that can get all the information, because you might not be processing all of it. I was worried that I’d be going to all these doctors appointments by myself and knew that if I got bad news it would be hard. Thankfully I didn’t; everything with the pregnancy was totally fine.”

Despite the challenges, Ms. Siu was able to deliver a “healthy, thriving” Baby Joy on November 16th, 2020—all while wearing a mask. “I was deeply relieved. I had tears in my eyes. She’s here. We made it through this pandemic pregnancy post-grief.” Now with Baby Joy at home, she finally got to meet her sister, Mable. “I love seeing them together. I have been waiting for Mable to have a sibling. Pregnancy is hard work, so I’ve been working hard to give Mable a sibling. It was really special to see her meet Joy for the first time—to see the awe on Mable’s face, that the baby actually came out. One line that she actually used was, ‘Well now Joy is in real life!’” When Joy was brought home, Ms. Siu bought matching rainbow dresses for her children (as pictured in the photo above). She explained that the term “rainbow baby” is given to a healthy baby that arrives after the loss of a baby. “Rainbow baby” comes from the idea that, after a turbulent storm or dark time, a rainbow appears in the sky. Now with a three-year-old and an infant at home, Ms. Siu is kept busy. She wears Baby Joy on her chest while reading books or playing cards with Mable. “My trick is baby wearing so I can still hang out with Mable.”

Even with all that she has gone through, Ms. Siu is still extremely grateful. “Sometimes pregnancy loss is followed by infertility and other issues, so for us to be able to have this perfectly healthy baby a year afterwards is remarkable. I’m very deeply grateful.” Even when Joy keeps her awake at night, Ms. Siu sees that as a blessing. “Every time she wakes me up, it means she’s alive and thriving.” Ms. Siu also acknowledged the community support she received, especially from her “supportive and wonderful” students. “I’m thankful for all the good wishes, all the good vibes, all the prayers, and all the ways that people sent us that love and energy. I really believe in the power of all that—that community strength helps give us individual strength.”

Baby Joy, who looks a lot like her brothers, still reminds Ms. Siu of her twin boys. “I’ve learned about accepting the beauty and pain of things. There’s a lot of beauty in her looking a lot like her brothers, and there’s also some pain in that. She was born a year to the day that her brothers were laid to rest, and there’s so much beauty to the symmetry of that—in the amazingness of life and that life moves forward, and the strength of the human spirit. That we could carry this pregnancy and have it result in this beautiful, healthy child a year later—That’s a really big gift.” Seems like Santa did a good job this year.

Author’s note: Mr. Tannen’s son, Keenan James Miller Tannen, was born Monday, December 21st, at 5:36 am. Congratulations to him and his family!