Ms. Waber’s Love Advice

For impassioned romantics, the pandemic has likely proven to be the gravest of impediments. Scarce are the opportunities for grand gestures; barrages of roses, the serenading of hired musicians, promposals, and so forth. Although perhaps to say these kinds of opportunities are totally bereft in our current new circumstances is not entirely true. Maybe it is only that certain adaptations to the norm are in order. To take the three examples above, infinite rose emojis, a melodious audio message, and an over the phone entreaty to prom-esque Zoom dancing may serve a similar purpose. The point is that even if there are alternatives, they are necessarily diminished in authenticity, and that brand of decline is not easily rectified. But to continue further without first consulting a romance expert would be irresponsible. If someone wanted to breed a stallion, they would not ask a cat expert how to proceed; they would ask their local hippologist. While we are lacking a hippologist on Masterman’s staff, and indeed the demand for courses on horse excellence, fortuitously, however, there is someone whose erudition in matters of romance has made them deserving of a title like “The Sage of Love." However, please do not call her this without her consent because it is at present, still unofficial. But whether you are an impassioned romantic or simply someone who needs a little love guidance, Ms. Waber will undoubtedly offer direction.

In an effort to extract the most love wisdom from Ms. Waber’s mind, as well as that which is as widely applicable as possible, a few ad hoc hypotheticals were posed.

The first hypothetical went as follows: Imagine you are deeply in love with another person. But you have never spoken with them on your own terms. You do not feel comfortable speaking with them directly, but it is torturous not to. How would you think about this? “As cliche as this sounds,” Ms. Waber replied, “I really find this to be true: Just be yourself! As scared as you might be to strike up a conversation for fear of rejection, it’s much worse to spend your time wondering what might have been. Just say hello and see what happens.”

Truly great advice. People ought to first off, make a move, and secondly, be genuine. For the second hypothetical we entered the friend zone:Let’s suppose you’ve evaded the first dilemma. That you’ve begun speaking to the person you are interested in, but it’s unclear whether or not they see you platonically or romantically. How do you approach this situation?

“Just be honest,” Ms. Waber suggests. “Authenticity and direct communication go a long way. If you are enjoying each other’s company and are interested in something more, again, as scary as it might feel, simply tell them. It’s better to know the answer than be left in that agonizing in-between place of not knowing! If the answer is no, well, that’s that, and you can move on. If it’s yes, well, that’s awesome!” And so, there appears to be a trend here, that involves being as lucid as possible. It seems to be of great importance. There were then a few hypotheticals that had to do with the betrayal of friends in the name of love, which Ms. Waber vehemently denounced.

“No, don’t do anything!” she exclaimed. Yes, it would be callous and cruel to go behind your friend’s back to express your feelings to their partner.” And in case it was not clear the first time, “NO! Nope, nope, nope. Don’t do it!” Obviously, honesty is key here, and a stark betrayal, is not justified for reasons of love. But continuing forward, imagine your heart is broken. You are devastated. What do you do?

“Heartbreak is definitely a risk you take when it comes to being vulnerable and loving another person,” Ms. Waber explains. “My advice to anyone going through a devastating heartbreak is to first let yourself have a good cry! If you’re sad or hurt, acknowledge the feelings and let them move through you. Lean on your friends and family. Let them know you’re hurting and talk out your feelings with someone who you trust. Let people support you. Distance yourself as much as possible from the individual as you get over the breakup. No, don’t send that text! If that’s not possible as you see this person on a daily basis due to school, work, etc., when you’re in the same environment as them, focus on the things that bring joy to your life in that setting.