Masterman Vermin

The vermin population of Masterman has tripled in the past year, returning to pre-pandemic levels. This increase is thought to have been triggered by the return en masse of students and staff after the stretch of pandemic. Environmental and climate scientists employed by the Teachers’ Union conducted this survey during routine asbestos testing last month and have found that Masterman is harboring twenty-two distinct species of vermin, including two species unique in the School District. Voices is currently forbidden from revealing which species are currently inhabiting the school building but we are authorized to report that three of them are poisonous and at least one person has been bitten.