Their Parents, Our Superheroes

Even though they have more to worry about, Mr. Gilken and Mr. O’Neill do see some positives in online teaching. “My kids and I eat lunch together,” Mr. Gilken said. “I get to see them all day.” Mr. O'Neill also said that he is glad to have his kids at home with him. “I love spending time with my kids.” Social Studies teacher Ms. Taylor said that she hasn’t encountered the trouble she thought she might. “I was expecting worse,” she said. “I think they’ve really been rising to the occasion.” While this may be the case, teaching hasn’t been easy. One morning during advisory, Ms. Taylor’s daughter was humming behind her. One of her students asked what song her daughter was humming, surprising Ms. Taylor. “I didn’t think that they could hear my kids through my headphones,” Ms. Taylor said. “I was surprised that they could understand her singing so well.” Spanish teacher Ms. Gentlesk has a similar story. When Ms. Gentlesk was teaching her Spanish 4 class, her son didn’t sign on to his first ever saxophone lesson, which he had been very excited about all week. “I realized my son was outside riding his bike, so I gave my class something to do, and I rushed out to get him. I had to run down the block wearing big slippers, because that's what I teach in. When he finally signed on I went back to my class, and realized that I had left music playing for them. It was a mix of music that Apple had made, and of course the song that came on after what we were listening to was explicit.” Ms. Gentlesk wrote the class an apology email. Only one student responded, saying “Ms. Gentlesk, you were on mute anyway, so we didn’t hear anything.”

While everyone loves spending time with their kids, there is no denying that children can create problems, especially the young ones. They can be oblivious to the stress of their parents, and make much more work for those trying to take care of them. Mr. Gilken is having trouble with keeping his kids focused. “My son Roman [first grade] has an attention span of maybe 20 minutes, after which he needs constant attention,” Mr Gilken observed. “It can be pretty draining.” Math teacher Ms. Mistry, who is pregnant and expecting this fall, has been dealing with raising a toddler and teaching online. Ms. Mistry, who is “lucky enough to be able to send [her] daughter to preschool,” was worn out after one day of balancing work and children. She was interviewed on a day that her daughter’s daycare was closed. “I don’t know what I would do if this was what every day was like,” she said. Spanish teacher Ms. Diffenderfer, whose son is five and just started kindergarten online, feels similarly: “It can really be frustrating. My son should have someone next to him all day, which neither my husband nor I can do.” Ms. Diffenderfer’s son attends daycare for three days a week to make teaching more manageable. One of his teachers tested positive for COVID-19, causing a two-week quarantine for the whole family, adding to Ms. Diffenderfer’s workload. Her son was restless, but there was nothing that could be done. While she and every other teacher are doing their best, Ms. Diffenderfer feels that they have “been tasked with the impossible.”

Every parent, teacher or not, is struggling with the pandemic. New research, however, shows that some have a harder time than others. In an interview with Forbes, journalist Lori Sokol quoted the International Labour Organization, saying that “mothers are shouldering the bulk of caregiving...performing 76.2% of unpaid care work.” Men have been shunting more and more domestic labor onto women during the pandemic while the amount of work at home is increased. Traditional gender roles are being reinforced and intensified by the pandemic, which many women are feeling. This can be especially true for teachers. “I have a lot of friends who are teachers and moms, and we all can see it,” Ms. Diffenderfer says. On top of that, her husband has a job that can’t be done from home. This puts even more of the pressure on her. She says that “there is definitely a dynamic in our society where a lot of the workload is put onto women.”

Virtual school is necessary to keep us all safe, no matter how hard it can be. All teachers, women in particular, are feeling the effects. While sometimes there is little that can be done about the compounded responsibilities, teachers have found small ways to relieve the stress. Ms. Taylor, Mr. O’Neill, Ms. Gentlesk and Ms. Diffenderfer have all been going on walks and runs when possible to get out and away from the tension. Mr. Gilken does something similar. “When I have the time, I try to go out and play nine holes of golf. Some days, with all of the stress of teaching, I really need it.”

Caprino, Kathy. “How The Pandemic Is Negatively Impacting Women More Than Men, And What Has To Change.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 13 July 2020, www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2020/07/13/how-the-pandemic-is-negatively-impacting-women-more-than-men-and-what-has-to-change/.