I Don’t Love You Anymore, Valentine’s Day
Zack Wray (11-4)
Photographed by Nuwar Osman (12-3)
“Will you be my Valentine?” Turns out that’s a pretty loaded question in today’s world. Theo Wyss-Flamm (12-4) shows how complicated it can be when he notes, “There’s a stigma around Valentine’s Day. I appreciate what it’s supposed to represent, but I don’t like it in practice. I just feel like it alienates people who don’t have a relationship. If I were in charge, Valentine’s Day would encourage love between all relationships, not just romantic ones between men and women.” Theo brings up a point which resonated with some other students--Valentine’s Day often seems to focus more on the stereotypical heterosexual relationship over anything else. Brooke Thomas (12-4) says “I think that a lot of Valentine’s Day is about having sex. We don’t have a lot of queer representation to normalize queer sex and queer relationships in general. The idealized ‘dream date’ might not be the same in a queer relationship. In a lot of advertising for Valentine’s Day, the people are usually white, and if there are any people of color, they’re filling a token role.” As a result, a holiday which is meant to promote inclusivity and togetherness can come across as exclusive and unwelcoming. Sophia Rosser (11-3) thinks Valentine’s Day, “reinforces gender roles in a way that’s not very progressive; like men are expected to plan out this whole elaborate evening… while the girl just kind of sits back and takes it.” Of course, not every Valentine’s Day ends up this way, and it’s not mandatory to celebrate it in the first place. Are the criticisms fair? Does such a love-filled holiday deserve so much hate?
Although these perspectives paint a grim picture of the meaning of Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t have to be like that. To Alba Ferko (11-1), Valentine’s Day “means getting excited for all the discount chocolate after it’s over. [My friend] and I have a tradition that we always go to Target and get some, specifically Reese’s!” Discounted chocolate is definitely one of those universally positive aspects of Valentine’s Day.
As delicious as discounted chocolate is, the corporate exploitation of the holiday leaves a bad taste in some peoples’ mouths. The “real reason it was created was to boost sales… There doesn’t need to be a specific day to show someone how much you care for them,” explains Javari Cherry (11-1). The origins of Valentine’s Day actually trace back centuries ago related to the fate of a certain Saint Valentine in Rome. But there is still some truth to Javari’s statement. According to research from the National Retail Federation, “Spending is expected to total $27.4 billion, up 32 percent from last year’s record $20.7 billion.” Max Mester (12-3) echoed Javari’s thoughts, noting that “if you need a special day to make someone feel special, it isn’t that special.” It can be difficult to feel loved and appreciated in a world where corporations use a holiday to sell you chocolates and roses, where intimate exchanges are sacrificed in favor of material ones. Maybe in order to move beyond the constraints of Valentine’s Day, we should focus on showing love and appreciation whenever possible, rather than conforming to some corporate calendar.