Op-Ed: I Didn't Get In!

I was deferred from Yale University last week. Even though I was well aware of the odds, and staggering statistics, feelings of inferiority and disappointment welled up inside. After months of crafting essays, opening up to complete strangers, sharing personal details many of my closest friends don't even know, I was turned away. I questioned where I had gone wrong. My ACT score? My lack of musical talent? Checking the box saying I planned to apply for aid? I will never know. But the real kicker was that I felt alone on deferred island. Via Instagram (something I had since quit for months), I saw acceptance after acceptance presented in cute collages with inspirational messages and celebratory gifs. Through this lens, I convinced myself that everyone had been accepted except for me. I felt like the annual anomaly of a student who should have gotten in somewhere but didn't. But I am not and neither are you. In attempts to even out skewed data, I nervously posted about my deferral on Instagram. I feared people would think "As expected" or scoff at my overconfidence believing I could get into a school with a 6.2% acceptance rate. But instantly after posting, I felt relieved. I no longer felt burdened with this shameful secret I didn't want to get out. Everyone knew and it made me feel better.

Within a few hours, I knew more as well. A handful of people reached out to me, sharing they were similarly not accepted and offered support. Most of these peers were just acquaintances. I couldn't even say for certain I've had a real conversation with some them. But they matched my vulnerability and suddenly I had a few friends on deferred island.

I encourage you to share both wins and losses. Let's acknowledge and normalize the presence of another option. It's easy to tap through stories, see everyone get into their dream schools and feel left in the dust, and left to deal with rejection alone. I don't wish this on anyone. That is why I posted my deferral. To everyone, I hope we can create an environment where more people feel safe opening up. To all my fellow non-acceptees, I hope you feel less alone.