004 - Screwdriver

It's the attack of the 20-meter-tall vote button!

This is a sort of borderline case between an Extra and a Randomness entry.

I really love getting tasks in my language classes that go along the lines of "Write a news article. You can make it all up from scratch." because it allows me to make things as insane as I want. I thought I'd share one I wrote today here, in part because I decided to use Com'c characters and Hereton as a location.

None of this is canon, and it's clearly not from the DBS. Enjoy! :-)

(Oh, and bonus points if you can figure out why I used the year 1954.)

Giant Screwdriver Attacks Hereton City

Yesterday, the city of Hereton was attacked by a giant screwdriver monster. The monster, a twenty-meter-tall screwdriver with arms and legs attached to the handle, was seen walking through the streets poking at buildings with a large pitchfork.

HERETON: At about 4:13 PM yesterday, police received hundreds of reports of a twenty-meter-tall screwdriver with arms and legs walking around downtown Hereton. The monster was incapacitated within the hour, without casualties.

“It was huge, taller than any of the buildings around me,” says eyewitness John Blague. “It had a large, red pitchfork, about the length of a street lamp, but it looked small in those giant hands. It kept poking at the buildings with the fork.” Cal Meletie, another eyewitness and a scientist at Asafei Science, says: “It was almost like it was checking if the buildings were soft enough to eat. It was very fascinating.”

As per the Monster Attack Act of 1954, military resources were immediately notified and arrived on location less than fifteen minutes after the first reports. “We've had a [large amount] of training for this [type of situation],” says Major Edwin Shoe. “Our guys were [more than] capable of [incapacitating] that [unintelligent monster] before it [seriously injured] some poor [civilian].”

The military reports that the monster is not dead, and will be brought to a military base for further research.

The monster appears to have originated from a garage workshop in the northern parts of the city, although the police are still working on determining the exact causes of the monstrosity.