Rainer and Nate: Lunch Line

Rainer Arendt

Nate Kassahun

A Lunch Line Satire

With all the pushing and shoving at the front of the lunch line you would think you are back at the Travis Scott concert in 2021. As soon as the bell rings, what can only be described as a cancer cell grows to fill the whole entrance to the cafeteria. Dozens of high school students race desperately to the front of the line trying to get a soggy hot dog with a side of beans. Many resort to shoving, pushing, and screaming at their fellow peers, all for four chicken nuggets or the same pizza everyday. But is school lunch worth the violence?

Voices decided to take a deep dive into this issue and sent one of our best reporters live on the scene. Here is a string of comments that we heard:

“But I can’t even lie, I be in that line too, pushing through the freshmen. I feel like a freight train. CHOO CHOO!” -Anonymous

“I find myself in the same predicament everyday. We are fighting for our lives out here and the reward is not even all that.” - Eoin Daly (27’)

“I love hopping the fence in front of the food. It gives me such an adrenaline rush and I feel amazing after!” -Ian Birley (24’)

“Once I’m in the masses I feel lost and scared. Especially considering I am only 4’11. I’m surprised I haven’t been trampled yet.” -Victoria Alamo-Rosas (25’)

As we were interviewing Gabriel Larosa (25’), the lunch staff brought out french toast causing a sudden surge and he was lost in the mob. 

Next we ventured to the rear of the line, where there were students begging for spare change. They had been waiting for 30 minutes and had not moved an inch. Feeling bad for these poor souls, we spent the rest of the period with them as they falsely hoped for a school lunch. When the bell rang, you could hear their bones rattling as they walked off without a morsel of food in their stomachs.