Masterman Football Team

Ella Berman ‘24

In many ways Masterman does not deliver the classic “high school” experience, but come fall of 2024, the high school is taking a step closer to emulating the suburban high school experience: a Masterman football team has been formed. The football team will consist of about fifty Masterman students from the high school, raising new questions: Will the football team pull students from other sports? Will there be enough interest? Where will the team play? These questions are yet to be answered, but progress is being made.

Students have been pushing for a football team for years, but have faced a multitude of pushback, including the main worry that student’s all-important brains will get damaged, tainting the school's academic reputation and bringing down our test scores. However, Mr. Perkin’s engineering class has been hard at work, and with the creation of a super-helmet that will protect Masterman student's massive brains, administrators finally approved the football team. Engineering students even dropped eggs in the new helmets from Mr. Perkin’s fourth floor windows, confirming their safety.

In terms of a practice field, there is no confirmation on that subject. However, there has been talk about using the cement divider on Spring Garden between 16th and 17th as a practice space for the football team. Although this might bring up an issue of space, it is in very close proximity to the school, which is a plus.

Another problem yet to be solved is that of a coach. We’ve already seen other sports, such as tennis and squash, struggle to find a coach. The sport of football raises a new complication: the need for multiple coaches. One suggestion floating around is to employ a whole department as the football team’s coaching staff, such as the science department. It could be an exceptional team-bonding activity for the department, and a Comfort/Perkins/Zimny/Lebold/Prince/Smith/Lapinski coaching staff has a lot of potential. Perkins has already made a huge contribution with the helmets, which is a step in the right direction to getting the science department on board.

Ultimately, students are excited to see what the new football team will bring to the Masterman community.