Horvaud

"m,,mister lowd wegent owo" daud, the knife of dunwall pleaded, his big blue orbs fluttering like a butterfly. hirams big juicy ass cheeks wobbled as he adjusted his pink stephanie from lazy town wig. "u have to kill jessamine ok?? ur my boyfriend and THIS is what boyfriends do"

dauds tiddies vibrated like a roomba on speed. "ok hiram. i will kill that stinky jessamine but ONLY if-" daud winked but with both eyes "ONLY if we wear matching crop tops to macdonwalds on sunday" daud pleaded again with his boyfriend hiram burrows, his lack of ass compliments hirams respectful buttocks that was wider that a church altar

after jessamine was killed, daud RUSHED to his boyfriend, hiram burrows the lord regents office. "h- h - hirAM!!" daud cried, his massive badonkers wobblign with every breath like jello on a wild escape from the jello factory. "hiram!! u pp -u pwomISED that corvo attano wouldnt be there!!" daud smashed his face into his own tiddies (because they are large) to mask his cries

"there there my spoon" hiram soothed his boyfriend daud the knife of dunwall. "its ok. corvo was trash anyway.." hiram turned to look into the distance, the moon was high above the dunwall river like a big dinner plate. "long ago you see daud. corvo attano broke my heart"

"daud!!" hram shouted but with panik as he ran into his boyfrien daud the knife of dunwalls office. he wasnt really running but more of a waddle bc his massive asscheeks and thick succulent thighs dont let him run. "corvo attano, my ex boyfriend who was very mean, has escape from coldwidge pwison!!". daud looked up from his tiddy. "go away i has depression" daud said depressed

"but daaaaaaaowowowod!!!" hiram begged and cried "ur an ass ass iN!! u have to kill corvo before he kills ME" daud looked up, his two blue orbs were circular. "honey" he said, he was still depressed so he sounded depressed "i don t even have an ass"

hiram was SO angry that his boyfriend daud the knife of dunwall wouldnt kill his EX boyfriend corvo attano the lord protector. "well!!!" he said angrily but also crying, his pink stephanie from lazy town wig shaking almost as violently as his ass cheeks "well! if u wont kill corvo attano then,,..,,,. ," hiram looked away agnrily "im breaking up with you daud". daud didnt look any sadder becuase he was already depressed "i am depressed" daud said, his tiddies jiggling sadly

it was a few weeks later after hiram the lord regent broke up with his boyfriend daud the knife of dunwall. "oh!! im so sad i dont have my big tiddied boyfriend anymore :(" hiram said. "HOHOHO!!" came a voice that you could tell was evil but hiram was hopeful it was santa because he had been a good boy this year other than killing jessamine. "santa??" hiram excalimed in joy, he quickly readjusted his pink stephanie from lazy town wig. "no! it is not santa!! it is me, corvo attano, your thick thighed ex boyfriend!! and i am here to kill you!!" a lon g raggedly thing leaped into the room, his thick thighs and ass creating sonic waves with every step. corvo attano approached with a big ass knife and his long, greasy hair was in his face. he lifted up his hands one of which had a rat and he ate the rat. "i am going to kill you" said corvo attano the lord protector. "ooooooohhh no!!!" hiram screamed in fear, his ass cheeks trembling

"oh no!!" hiram screamed sadly " i am going to get the murdered by my ex boyfriend corvo attano" "that is correct" said corvo attano. hiram screamed and ran, holding his pink wig to his head as he ran away so it wouldnt fall off because he couldnt die without his pink wig

suddenly, a silloheute entered the room. "a giant dorito??" corvo attano exclaimed in suprised, his two brown eyes like brown circles looked at the dorito. "hands OFF my boyfriend" said daud the knife of dunwall as he emerged from the shadows, tiddies jiggling joyfully. "daud!!! you came back"" said hiram, he was smiling a lot because he was happy. "thats right"

corvo stopped and put his sword down. he was still eating a rat and his mother taught him it was rude to not finish a meal so he continued eating. daud the knife of dunwall walked towards corvo attano, his tids jumping up and down but out of sync with each other but in sync with his legs as he walked. "dont kill my boyfriend or i will kill you" daud said, his eyebrows making him look angry because he was angry. corvo attano said "but you killed my wife mr daud!!", corvo was so angry his thighs crushed a sokolovs elixir between them by accident. daud, looked away, sadly because he was sad. daud looked up, his blue eyes that were blue like the ocean on a sunny day or the sky when tehre are no clouds met with corvos eyes that are brown like something that is brown. "and im sorry" said daud

corvo attano looked daud the knife of dunwall up and down and then looked at his tiddies because they were huge and hard to ignore. "hm" said corvo attano thoughtfully and he pursed his lips like he was thinking. "ok i forgive you" corvo said to daud. daud looked suprised but also happy "really!? you forgiven me for killing your wife??" said daud suprised! "yes" said corvo, smiling. "but why" asked daud, his tiddies glistening in the moonlight. "because" corvo said, walking towards daud the knife of dunwall using his thick thighs for locomotion. "beacuse, why be enemies when we can be friends?" corvo said and he also looked at hiram and hirams big ass cheeks at the same time. "corvo!" hiram said angrily! "you wont steal my boyfriend daud the kinfe of dunwall!!" hiram was so angry his pink stepahine from lazy town wig almost fell off but he caught it so he wasnt dewigged. corvo threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh like colonel sanders from the kentucky fried chicken adverts. "who said i was going to steal" said corvo attano "theres plently of us.. to share" corvo smirked but in a se*y way (authors note: jkd dont worry this fic is sfw!!) "oh corvo!!" hiram said, his seeing spheres wide with excitement. the three of them came together and helded hands. daud was facing the wrong way ebcause his tiddies were so big he couldnt get close enough othersiwe but he has no ass so it was ok. "we can all be boyfriends" corvo attano said and he smiled. "yes" said daud and hiram "now we are all boyfriends :)"

daud looked as his two new boyfriends. "before we continue being boyfriends all of us" daud the knife of dunwall said "why did u guys break up to start with??" daud asked his two boyfriends. "well you see...." hiram started. now everything goes with an orange hue so you know its in the past. it is like 20 years earlier and corvo attano has just arrived in Dunwall, missouri where hes been sent to work because his thighs are so large and so is his ass that he is a treasure of serkonos, where he is from. "hello i am new here" corvo said because he was new. "hello" said a girl who turned out to be jessamine kalwdin. "you will be my new protector" jessamine said (remember this is in the past guys!!!!) "ok" said corvo.

after meeting jessamine corvo attano went to the towers hair dresser to get his hair dip dyed because he wanted to. corvo attano walked into the hair salon. he had to like shimmy through the door because his thighs and ass were so large. "dont do that" a voice said from somewhere "who is that" corvo attano said. "i am new here" corvo added because he was new. corvo turned arround really fast, and then he turned around like 3 more times because of like the continued momentum due to his ass and thighs. when corvo stopped turning, he came face to face with a man who had a very large ass. at first, corvo thought this was a giant sentient inflatable beach ball because the ass was so huge buut it had a face so it had to be a person. the man smiled and flicked his head, his pink hair flowing in hte breeze. "stephanie from lazy town!!??" corvo exhaled, lazy town was his favourite show. "haha no but im flattered" the man said with a giggle. "im hiram burrows, the lord regent" he said with a smile. and hiram and corvo looked at each other in the eyes. it felt like a very long time had passed because they were staring so intently but it was because they were connecting. "n,, nice to meet you hiram" corvo said nervosuly because he was nervous as he really liked hiram!! "likewise" hiram said with a flourish. "maybe see you later??" hiram said. corvo giggled

ok now it is like 19 years later. hiram and corvo have been secret boyfriends ever since they met at the hair dressers but corvo has also been loving jessamine too because he has too hands!! but jessamine doesnt know about hiram being corvos other boyfriend because she doesnt like him. corvo and jessamine have a child called e.milk (yes that s her name!! they are quirky xD). one day, corvo and jessamine are walking in the garden. corvos thighs are justling as they walk because they are large. "i love you corvo" jessamine says, she looks at him with her eye-marbles that are blue. "i know" says corvo because they have been in love for years. "ok. i am going to the mall to shop for new clothes and toys for e.milk today. i will be gone for a while" says jessamine. "ok" says corvo, inside he is very excited because that means he can spend the day with his secret boyfriend hiram and they got matching crocs recently so corvo was really excited

as soon as jessamine and e.milk left to go to the shopping place corvo ran excitedly to his boyfriend hiram. "hiram!!" corvo said with excitement because he was excited "jessamine has gone for the day! wwe can be together!!" corvo blurted. "OH EM GEE!!" hiram sqeueeld, his ass cheeks where vibrating so much they had waves on the surface. "i am excited!!" said corvo and he was smiling. they kissed. "hi corvo i forgot my limited edition colonel sanders sun hat-" said jessamine as she barged into the room as hiram and corvo kissed

"j--- jessamine??" corvo said in suprise because she wasnt supposed to be there!! "corvo??? hiram??" jessamine said, her blue circular eyes darted from corvo to hiram to hirams ass because it was big. "oh no" said hiram because this was bad. jessamine had discoeverd their secret. but also hiram was suprised it had taken her this long because when hiram and corvo were together their massive asses together plus corvos luscious thighs generated a gravitational field that had been puzzling dunwalls top smart people for decades

"corvo!! how could you!! i am sad!!" jessamine said crying with tears on her face. "jessamine i am sorry!!" said corvo because he was a little but also he really loved hiram. hiram sat their awkwardly because he didnt know what to say but that was ok because him bum filled the silence because it was big. "its ok jess i love you more!!! i will break up with hiram!!" corvo said. hiram was shocked and he had his mouth open in an o-shaped. "really?? " jess said "yes jess, i love you more than i love hiram" said corvo. "corvo!!" hiram said angrily, his pink wig was a mess to signify his anger. "you told me you loved me forever!!" said hiram, with tears in his eyes and his ass cheeks in a sad position. "yes that is true" said corvo because it was true. "but hiram" said corvo, "i love jess FIVE-ever" (authors note: that means he loves her MORE than forever). hiram gasped in shock

hiram wa s so ANGRY with his EX boyfren crovo!! as hiram SToremd out of dunwall toward, his caked up ass jiggling with anger because he was angry, he almost tore his pink wig apart in anger. hiram was very angry. but he was also very sad because he thought corvo loved him but corvo didnt. hiram went to dunwalls central park to sit and be sad because he was sat. he sat down on a concrete wall because his ass was too fat for the benchs. "oh i am sad" said hiram, he was crying and his tears was smuding his mascara that he had put on escpecially for corvo that morning. he was crying so much that his thigh high crocs were very wet and squelched eve n though he wasnt moving. "hello why are you crying" a voice that sounded like if you gave life to a cheese grater along with 100 cigarettes.

hiram looked next to him to where the voice came from. next to hiram it wasnt a cheese grater that was smoking but a man who was smoking. hiram was in awe. this wasnt just a man. this was an etheral hunk of a man carved from marble by the void itself then had life breathed into it, a cheese grater for a voice box and mouldy fruit for a skin texture. but it wasnt the mans physique hirams gay brain was oogling. no. it was those,,, those... those ENORMOUS, jiggling, SUCCUlent, bustling lively breasts. the man had them on display yet almost seemd unaware of the busty asset he possessed. this man unfortunaltey had no ass, but hiram, possing a big bum himself, could overlook that minor issue. "oh" said hiram in suprise, he tried to drie his tears but instead he smeared his face even more and got amscara on his pink stepahnie from lazy town wig. "i ma crying ebcause my boyfriend broke up with me. who are u?" hiram asked the strange wide man. "i am daud. i am the knife of dunwall" said daud who was the knife of dunwall. hiram looked on in wonder as daud spoke because as he spoke and his chest moved because he was breathing more to speak his tiddies heaved up and down like a monk in a church tower ringing the bells.

"hello daud" said hiram. hiram quickyl applied more mascara and then fluttered his eyelashes because he liked daud. hiram tried to look pretty which was hard because he was quite ugly.

daud looked at hiram funny. "ok i am leaving now" said daud. "wait" said hiram desparately because he wanted to speak to daud more bcause he had a cru*sh on him. "yes?" asked daud. "does a nice man like you have any tips for how to deal with ex boyfriends" asked hiram sexily nad he put a hand on his large ass cheeks to try and look sexy. "i am asexual" said daud because he is asexual. "oh" said hiram who was sad because he needed help. "but sometimes i kill other peoples ex boyfriends for omney" said daud. " i am an assassin" daud said and he whipped he massive sword out (authors nte: NOO NOT HTAT kind of sword xD this is a sfw fic dont worry guise!!). dauds swor dhad blood on it. "i actually just killed osmone" said daud, his tiddies gallopping playfully. "ok. i have an idea" said hiram beacause he just had an idea. "i will kill you r boyfriend?" said daud but as a quiestion in case he had the wrong idea. he had the wrong idea because daud is usually wrong. "no haha," giggledhiram joyfully and as he laughed his ass cheeks wobbled and made a sonic wave that caused a tree nearby to split which killed three people. "no i have another plan...." hiram said mischeivousluy

hiram was VERY angory at his bf... no wait EX bf corvo attano. hiram didnt want to kill corvo though because hiram thought corvo would maybe still love him if jess wasnt there. " i want you to kill my boyfriends girlfreind jess" said hiram. "the empress?" daud asked but he knew who jess was. there was only one jess in the whole world and she was the empress. "yes" said hiram. "hmm" said daud and he thought. "hm" he said again. "ok i will think about it daud said. "oh ok" said hiram dissapointly because he was disappointed. daud started to walk away, his hands were holding his tiddies down so they didnt get too out of control. "WAIT!" said hiram suddleny as daud was walking away. daud spun around suddentlu and let go of his voluptuous breasts and they slingshotted out of control, decapitatung a poor person.

"what is it" daud asked hiram because he was confused. "can i see you again" hiram asked sexily, twirling his pink stteaphnie from lazy town wig in his hair. "hm ok" said daud. daud didnt know why hiram wanred to see him again as daud was ugly. "i have 6532 children at home i must go feed them now. bye" daud said. "ok bye!!" hiram said. hiram was happier now. he really liked daud a LOT like so much and was already drawing daud in love hearts in his special my little pony notebook that hiram USUALLY only used for spy notes. but daud was so special to hiram that hiram wrote his name in lvoe hearts. "i think i lvoe daud" hiram thought, he knew daud wasnt that interested in him, but he could work on that. there was lots of people hiram wante d killed for being mean to him so hiram was going to hire daud lots so he could see him (and his tiddies!) again. "i am happy now" hiram said because he was happier

over the next few months (auhtors note: remember this is is one year beFORE the present when they are ALL boyfriends and siz months before daud kills jess (haha spoilers but you shouldve read that alreadu!! xD)) hiram got daud to kill lots of people and gave daud lots of money. hiram liked seeing daud. daud started to like seeing hiram. one day, as they wore matching tie dyed crop tops and painted each other s nails pink, hiram said "daud will you be my boyfriend?" hiram asked. daud opened his mouth in suprise because he was suprised. "oh" said daud in suprise. "i guess so" said daud. "i love u" said hiram and he held dauds hand "i love you too" said daud and they looked at each other and they smiled. now thye were boyfriends!! "i am oVER my ex boyfriend corvo attano" hiram said triumpinatly with a flourish. "i am oroud of u!" said daud. at this point in time, corvo was away from dunwall. beacause jess awas annoyed at him, she sent corvo to far away places for a bit (where they had NO macdonalds OR claires accessories!!). "daud..." hiram said like was was about 2 ask a question. "i have a quiestion" hiram said to his boyfirend daud. "will you kill jess" hiram asked daud who is his boyffriend. daud looked at hiram, it was silent apart from the gentle whir of daud s tiddies as they moved with the breeze

authors note: ok!!! this almost brings us up to whre this fic started!!!

"ok" daud said. the next day, daud RUSHEd into hirams office, tiddies out of control. "i think i have a consicentce now"" daud said "dont be silly" hiram said "you dont get a consicen until AFTER u kill teh empress" hiram continued. "what" said daud in confusion. "what" said hiram. (auhtoers note: ook the next bit is copied and pasted!!! xD xd) "m,,mister lowd wegent owo" daud, the knife of dunwall pleaded, his big blue orbs fluttering like a butterfly. hirams big juicy ass cheeks wobbled as he adjusted his pink stephanie from lazy town wig. "u have to kill jessamine ok?? ur my boyfriend and THIS is what boyfriends do"

dauds tiddies vibrated like a roomba on speed. "ok hiram. i will kill that stinky jessamine but ONLY if-" daud winked but with both eyes "ONLY if we wear matching crop tops to macdonwalds on sunday" daud pleaded again with his boyfriend hiram burrows, his lack of ass compliments hirams respectful buttocks that was wider that a church altar. (auhtors note: ok fback to new content!!!). daud left hirams office and he was excisted because he liked whereing matching crop top with hiram and he killed lots of people so jess didnt matter. "yay i will kill jess! " said daud happily, his blue crocs were squelching as he skipped joyully through dunwall towar

the next day, daud went to kill jess. " it is good i kill jess today because corvo sint here" daud told his 328791 children. "ok papa" they said. daud and his 9823 children went to dunwall towar. daud wore his sports bra beacuse he didnt want his tits to get in the way. daud went to kill jess. "what are you doing" said a man. daud would recognise taht dip dyed blue hair from ANYWERE from hiram, dauds boyfreind. "oh no corvo attano" daud said. daud stabbed jess with his knife. "i am the knife of dunwall he explained to corvo. he then used his magic to leave befaore the guards came in. "oh no!! said teh guardss "corvo killed jess!!!". hiram waddled in his big bum flopping up and down. "oh hi corvo ur not supposed to be here" he said. "oh no corvo killed empress!!"hiram also said preetending to be suprised but he wasnt because h knoew jess would die. "guards!! arrest this clown" hiram told the guards to arret t corvo even though corvo didnt kill anyone. this was great hiram thought because it was. not only was jess dead but now corvo was in trouble for doing it. hriam smirked to himsefl later that day as he applied his orange lipstick. it had all gone so perfectly and he was very happy. "no w corvo will get excetuerd for killing jess and i can live with my new boyfreind, daud the knife of dunwall" hiram smirked to himself

now it is just before the present and corvo attano, with his deip dyed blue hair has excaped from prison. hiram is sad and scared because h e knows corvo hates him/. hiram went to his boyfriwnd daud the knife of dunwalls house. "daud!!" hram shouted but with panik as he ran into his boyfrien daud the knife of dunwalls office. he wasnt really running but more of a waddle bc his massive asscheeks and thick succulent thighs dont let him run. "corvo attano, my ex boyfriend who was very mean, has escape from coldwidge pwison!!". daud looked up from his tiddy. "go away i has depression" daud said depressed

"but daaaaaaaowowowod!!!" hiram begged and cried "ur an ass ass iN!! u have to kill corvo before he kills ME" daud looked up, his two blue orbs were circular. "honey" he said, he was still depressed so he sounded depressed "i don t even have an ass"

hiram was SO angry that his boyfriend daud the knife of dunwall wouldnt kill his EX boyfriend corvo attano the lord protector. "well!!!" he said angrily but also crying, his pink stephanie from lazy town wig shaking almost as violently as his ass cheeks "well! if u wont kill corvo attano then,,..,,,. ," hiram looked away agnrily "im breaking up with you daud". daud didnt look any sadder becuase he was already depressed "i am depressed" daud said, his tiddies jiggling sadly

hiram adn his 2 boyfriends corvo attano (or ASStano as hiram nicknamed him xD) and daud the knith of dunwall went on a diplomatic mission to morley. "ok because i am lord regentt i have to go on diplomatic missiont o morley" said hiram to explain the plot to his boyfriens. "ok " daud and corvo replied, they wer on boat to morley so it was wavey and dauds tiddeis jiggled with motion. they arrived in mroley. "ok said himram. "i has to go see this school for reasons". hirams walk ed fhtough the streets, shaking his sizable buttocks from side to side as he waddeld, fracturing the space time continuum. daud and corvo followed nad it was cold because it was morely and they were both serkonin so they werent used 2 the cold. corvo and daud both were wearing thick wooly jumpers that had unicorns on them but dauds had a boob window bc his tits wer too big otherwise. ok then they arrived at this school but it was a big castel. "hellow we are here 2 se e the headteacher" hiram said to the giant hairy man at the door who was very large but had no tits nor ass so what was the point. "awirght ahll tak ye to the 'eadmastah" said the hairy thing. "thank u" said hiram with a flourish. he fixed his pink wig. "ok boygriends we should do our make up" said hiram "why said corvo because his make up was nice already. "beCAUSe" said hiram impatiently because he didnt wantto explain "ebuacese it is important!!" hiram said. "ok " said corvo adn daud and then they all did each others make up and mascaras and daud replaited corvos dip dyed hair again because they r boyfriends xD. SUDDENTLY !! the headmaster was there. "hello hiram sweeties" said the old man, longuning in teh door trying 2 look se*xy but instead looking like he wa s possed. "dumbhoedoor!!" hirams sqeeuld and his ass danced with joy! "boyfrinds!" hiram siad to his boyfriends, "this is my best freind and other boyfriend dumhoedoor!!" daud adn corvo gasped!! "i am gay" said dumbledoor because he is and it should be said in text.

Mr Hirim Burrows was sitting in his office chair with his massive ass that was huge. He was all alone because he was terrible to be aroound and had no firends.

Sudemnly thee was a noise. Hirm looks up. Ther e is Daud The Daud. He looks like a raisin with a scar on his right or left eye (A/N I dont knows my lefts and rightses XD)

"Daud! But I do not have any assassimnations for you because the emprsss is dead. She ahd to die." SAYS hirm but

"Yes i know and i have has depression" says Daud with his Daud mouth that is crusty. "but i came to..." Daud looks away with his seeing orbs that are blue,. "I came to see you"

"Why" says hirm butt because he has no r friends and noblody comes to see him.

"Because... becauseee" w

"Why does this feel like a goodbye?" saks Hurm BUtrrows

"What the fyck are you on crack this is a hello" says Daud, making his massive breasts bounce and bandonk.

Hirm bUttows is stares as Daud's tid tiddies

"Hey my seeing eyes are yp here" daud the whaler says pointing at his raisin scar face where his eies are

"sorry.... you're are just so alluring" says Hiram Burrows

"I feel the same way" says Daud

"that i am allure hot?" asks Him Burrows with a blush of his cheecks go red,

"No i am hot" b "but you are okay. I love you Hirm aburrpws" says Daud said Daud with his face

"ok" says Hirm burrows

Then they had the kissing. With mouth! (A/N sorry sm ns nscw nsfw Xxx)

¹The k-word

²There is one thing

³rcdart external source

⁴Rcdart thread

⁵Monster lyrics

⁶Pink wig thicc ass

⁷Horvaud origins

⁸Blue's Horvaud fic

⁹Jacob gets a message from the Marines

Gallery Citations

Potes

Blue

Chungy Horse

Whaler

Chungy Ass