Corvo panic-stripping AU

Creator: Multiple

Description:

Related to the previous one. AU where Corvo stops all the assassination attempts by removing his shirt and enemies get distracted by the sexy.

Everytime Corvo does it it's always the same way as that woman from Anastasia drops her coat. He invests in tearaway pants. Before he invested in them they always got a monthly delivery from the tailors. After doing that for years now he panic strips whenever there's danger.

When Corvo tries to do it at the end to Delilah he makes sure to turn the Emily statue around

Daud is the one person it never worked on bc he's completely ace. Corvo still stops Jess' assassination by stripping because it works on the Whalers and Daud has to herd his dumbass children.

Archives:

Delilah: “I’m here to take the throne ba- what are you doing?”

Corvo, already shirtless: “distracting you”

Delilah: “well it’s working stop”

Corvo, crushing a watermelon between his thighs: this could be you

Delilah: is that a threat?

Corvo: yeah

Delilah: it's not a good one

Emily: father why is your first instinct when something goes wrong like this just to take your shirt off

Corvo, shirtless: [gestures to the throne room full of unresponsive people with nosebleeds] because it always works

[some other time]

Emily: Guess what father, your distraction isn't working! look that one person is still fine

Corvo, shirtless: this calls for me to break out the big guns then

Corvo: [starts taking his trousers off]

Emily: FATHER WHAT THE FUCK

Emily, covering her eyes: I NEED A NEW ROYAL PROTECTOR ALEXI COME HERE- ACTUALLY DON'T COME HERE. OR WEAR A BLINDFOLD.

Corvo, striping in his whaler prison: “so... let me go now?”

Daud: “... please for the love of god put some pants on”

Daud, writing to Corvo: Corvo i don't know how you did it but you've given all of my whalers brain rot and/or massive identity crises about their sexuality

Daud: even the ones that weren't there wtf