Kapernick Sends Invitations to Upcoming Party But No one RSVP's

On the day before his annual Christmas party, Kapernick is in dismay. He had just received an unnerving call; it was his publicist telling him that no one had planned on showing up to his big bash. Even though the guest list was extensive with “...many influential, well-meaning people – including Jay-Z and members of his Roc Nation staff, and Harry Edwards, the sports activist and professor emeritus of sociology at the University of California, Berkeley ...” no one had seemed to want to come see him. Usually this wouldn’t bother him too much because Kapernick understands that life happens; however, this is the third time no one had decided to show up for Kapernick. In 2012 Kapernick’s parties were always the talk of the century, but when 2016 came around the corner they had drastically declined, to the point where no one wanted to come. What could be the cause of this sudden drop of party-goers in Kaepernick's circle? Could it be his new sudden urge to kneel during every meal? Or his inability to cooperate with the NFL to privately discuss their new workout equipment? Whatever the case may be Kapernick was not pleased. When I went to Kaepernick's house to interview him about the change in plans he told me "I've been ready for three years, I've been denied for three years.” This phrase was said aggressively as he ripped down the stockings from the chimney. His over the top winter wonderland themed party looked as though the Grinch had stolen his Christmas spirit overnight. As I was leaving out the door I had to ask Kapernick the one question we are all wondering, how does it feel to not be the best party thrower anymore? His response? “I just wish someone would call me back.”