#139: Sleepless Night

“To become a concubine, or even a mere servant?” Yunyi said painfully. “A lifetime of never wearing true red, forever overshadowed by the main wife, and even your children will be considered inferior. Let’s not look far—just take Second Madam as an example. Yes, she holds great power in the household, but look at it this way: does Eldest Young Master, Second Young Master, or Third Young Master truly respect her? And even so, she has sacrificed much to reach this position. As for Third Madam…” Yunyi stopped herself and continued, “The price she paid was even greater than Second Madam’s. Caiping, is this the life you want?” Though Yunyi’s primary concern stemmed from the precarious situation of the Li family, every word she spoke was true. A concubine, no matter how resourceful, would always remain subordinate.

Jiang Caiping grew agitated. “Sister, don’t push me. I haven’t thought that far ahead. Right now… I just feel happy being with Third Young Master.”

“I know these things seem distant, but they are realities you’ll eventually face, whether you like it or not. The life of a concubine is far harder than you imagine.” After a pause, she continued, “It’s better to endure short-term pain than long-term suffering. Cut off these feelings while they’re still shallow.”

Jiang Caiping’s body trembled, and instinctively, she wanted to shake her head. But deep down, she knew Yunyi spoke the truth, that she meant well. In their village, there had once been a beautiful girl who became a concubine in a wealthy household. At first, she was favored, adorned in gold and silver, living a life of luxury. Her family basked in pride. But after a few years, the master took in a younger, prettier woman. He grew colder toward her day by day. Unable to bear it, she cried and made scenes until the master grew irritated and locked her away. Later, rumors spread that she had gone mad and was sent back home with a letter of divorce. Those fleeting years were like a dream, and when it ended, she returned to her old life.

Would Li Xuanba treat her the same way? No, he wasn’t that kind of person—or so she hoped. But who could predict what might happen over decades? Moreover, Second Madam already disapproved of her. Surely, she wouldn’t make life easy for her.

“And you,” Yunyi added, “with your straightforward nature, aren’t suited to life in such a rigid household. Caiping, listen to my advice. Stop now before you sink deeper…”

Before she finished, Jiang Caiping turned around, burying her face in Yunyi’s arms as she sobbed, “Sister, I’m so upset!”

Yunyi gently stroked Jiang Caiping’s soft hair, comforting her softly. “I understand. Everything will pass.” As she spoke, her own heart ached. She too harbored feelings for Li Shimin, but ultimately… they were destined to be enemies.

She wondered—when Li Shimin discovered she was an assassin, would he hesitate to kill her?

That night, the two squeezed into one bed, neither speaking nor sleeping, staring into the darkness until dawn.

________________________________________

The next morning, as soon as they opened the door, they saw Zhang Jiu standing outside, holding an eight-sided lotus lantern. Seeing Jiang Caiping, he greeted her with a smile. “Miss Jiang.”

Jiang Caiping recognized him as the steward of Li Xuanba’s quarters. Nodding, she asked, “Master Zhang, are you here for me?”

“Yes,” Zhang Jiu replied politely. “You forgot this lantern last night. Third Young Master specifically instructed me to bring it to you.”

Instinctively, Jiang Caiping reached for the lantern but hesitated just before her fingers touched it. Her eyes reflected inner conflict. After a long moment, she withdrew her hand and, trembling, said, “Thank you, Master Zhang. But please… take this lantern back.”

Zhang Jiu looked puzzled. “Why, Miss Jiang? Didn’t you love this lantern?”

Jiang Caiping closed her eyes briefly and forced out words that contradicted her heart. “That was last night. Now… I no longer like it. Also, please tell Third Young Master that… he should stop seeking me out.”

In the end, she followed Yunyi’s advice, extinguishing this budding romance. As Yunyi had said, a relationship between two people of mismatched status was fraught with challenges. She lacked the confidence to pursue it.

“Miss Jiang, you…” Zhang Jiu hadn’t expected delivering a lantern to result in such an outcome.

Fearing he might notice something amiss, Jiang Caiping quickly bowed and muttered, “I must return to Yuefang Pavilion. Excuse me.”

After walking several dozen steps, Jiang Caiping suddenly stopped. Tears streamed down her bright eyes. Yunyi patted her back gently. “If you need to cry, let it out.”

Yunyi expected Jiang Caiping to burst into tears, but instead, she wiped her face forcefully and shook her head. “I’m fine. Don’t worry, Sister.”

Seeing her like this, Yunyi’s heart ached deeply. But… for Jiang Caiping’s sake, she had no choice but to intervene.

That day, Jiang Caiping remained unusually quiet, devoid of her usual cheerfulness. During breaks, she sat alone, lost in thought. Some of her close dancer friends noticed her demeanor and approached to ask if anything was wrong. She simply shook her head and said nothing.

In the evening, after practicing dance, they returned to their quarters. Midway, Jiang Caiping suddenly grabbed Yunyi’s arm, panic in her eyes. “I… I forgot my handkerchief in Yuefang Pavilion. Sister, please accompany me back.”

Yunyi frowned. “But isn’t your handkerchief right in your hand?”

Jiang Caiping glanced down and realized she was clutching a crumpled handkerchief in her left hand. Forcing a weak smile, she said uneasily, “Still, let’s go back.”

Just as she turned, an angry voice rang out behind them. “Jiang Caiping, are you avoiding me?”

It was Li Xuanba. Jiang Caiping had spotted him earlier and used the excuse of forgetting something to avoid him. Now, his sharp-edged face darkened as he approached her. Without preamble, he demanded, “Why didn’t you accept the lantern? And why did you tell me never to seek you out again?”

Jiang Caiping nervously twisted the handkerchief in her hands. After a long pause, she stammered, “I… I told Master Zhang clearly—I no longer like… like that lantern.”

What truly mattered to Li Xuanba was the latter part of her statement. Seeing her evade the question, he pressed, “And what about me? What have I done to displease you?”

By now, passersby had noticed Li Xuanba and couldn’t help but glance curiously at the scene, making Jiang Caiping extremely uncomfortable. Lowering her voice, she murmured, “I’ll explain later.”

Realizing this wasn’t the place for a conversation, Li Xuanba grabbed her hand. “Come with me!”