IMH - 55

The wedding was in September, and soon winter arrived. The winter scenery in the north was barren, with withered flowers and trees stripped of their tender green leaves. But the place where Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan lived became increasingly warm and home-like. At the entrance, there was a lush green radish plant, which Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan picked up from a plant shelf at the supermarket entrance during one of their shopping trips. When they bought it, it was just an ordinary small pot, but under the careful nurturing of the auntie at home, it grew more and more luxuriantly, its vines already hanging down, blocking the shoe cabinet door. Every time Yu Qian or Cheng Xiaonan opened the shoe cabinet at the door to get their frequently worn shoes, they had to gently brush aside the hanging green radish vines. The auntie had asked them if they wanted to trim some of it to avoid inconvenience. Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan both thought that would be a bit cruel; this potted plant had been in their home for a long time and had become a part of their family. So they never trimmed it, letting it grow freely. In fact, every time they lifted those vines, there was a sense of small happiness, a feeling of being tied to their family. They carefully nurtured every plant and every object in their home. When Yu Qian first moved in with Cheng Xiaonan, the house had a simple decor, and only the green plants brought it to life. They hadn’t lived there for long, but the house no longer had that pristine, show-home look; there were traces of life everywhere. A set of cat climbing frames was custom-made on the wall for “11”. The little fella had several different-shaped cat scratching boards placed in various corners of the living room. By the floor-to-ceiling window was “11”‘s cat bed, now replaced with a new, cute banana-shaped one. Sometimes it was a “flower thief,” biting off a few petals from blooming poppies, scattering them around its cat bed. At night, when Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan cuddled in bed and chatted, they could still hear “11” sneezing from the quiet living room, choked by pollen. When Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan heard it, they would laugh in the night, knowing that the mischievous cat was bothering the flowers again. Their kitchen had a coffee machine. But later, Cheng Xiaonan heard that drinking tea was better for health, so he bought a set of tea ceremony utensils and a tea table for the living room. The tea pet was a string of lychees, usually dark red, but when watered, it would reveal a fresh, tender white. Sometimes on weekends, they wouldn’t go anywhere, just chat at home, tend to the plants, and play with the cat. Or after a nap, they would sit by the tea table, brew a pot of fragrant, elegant tea, and enjoy it together. The house wasn’t immaculately clean either. Cheng Xiaonan’s frequently used cervical massager and a box of Yu Qian’s face masks were left on the sofa, along with a pair of game controllers they bought during the National Day holiday. Back then, they were like children finally done with exams and on a long break, staying home and playing games for three whole days before going out. In one compartment of the wardrobe, two coats of the new style for the year were hung side by side. They were unisex, differing only in size. Hanging them side by side was Cheng Xiaonan’s idea. He even took advantage of the fact that the coat material wouldn’t wrinkle and linked the sleeves of the two coats, saying it looked intimate. One time, he got up early, and the sky was still dim. Cheng Xiaonan opened the wardrobe and was so startled by the intimately linked coats that he stumbled backward. Yu Qian said he was asking for trouble. Cheng Xiaonan then breathed on her neck, feigning grievance: “My sincere heart, loving you, is shattered by your words.” They grew more and more in sync, often bursting into laughter at the same time while watching variety shows. When gathering with friends or going shopping, they would suddenly exchange glances in a crowd when a certain situation arose. Both of them now had a bit of a mischievous streak. When “11” yawned, they would suddenly stick their hands into its mouth. Watching it close its mouth and then look at their fingers with a bewildered, hesitant expression, they would burst into laughter. Once, when “11” yawned, both of them reached out at the same time. Seeing each other’s actions, Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan froze with their fingers raised, then were caught by “11,” who had finished yawning and let out a long, displeased meow at them. In Cheng Xiaonan’s words, their chemistry was “absolutely amazing.” It was only after living with Cheng Xiaonan that Yu Qian discovered that as one lives longer, it’s not just about losing things; connections also gradually increase. This might sound a bit old-fashioned, but it was true. In November, Yu Qian went abroad for a short photoshoot. When working, she no longer left her phone in her bag all day and night without checking it; in the past, she would even forget to charge it. But now, during breaks from work, she would take out her phone, send a message to Cheng Xiaonan, or simply video call him for a few minutes. Cheng Xiaonan was shamelessly playful sometimes, deliberately video calling Yu Qian while wrapped in a bath towel, and then falsely accusing Yu Qian: “Sister, you did this on purpose, calling at this time?” She was only on a three-day business trip, and Cheng Xiaonan picked her up at the airport when she returned. Her younger brother wore a long coat, looking more travel-worn than she did, who had just returned from a business trip. Cheng Xiaonan opened his arms, walked around the luggage cart, and gave her a very strong hug, almost embedding her into his warm chest. Yu Qian finally struggled free and heard Cheng Xiaonan say, “You don’t know, the days you weren’t home were like years. I almost skipped work and flew over to find you!” In the past, Yu Qian moved between various hotels, and even when she returned to the house she rented with Peter, she never felt this sense of familiarity. This time, returning from her business trip, it was distinctly different. Cheng Xiaonan unlocked the password lock at home. “11,” with its snow-white fur, lay in the sunlight in the living room, giving them a grumpy look, flicking its tail as a welcome. The air still carried her familiar scent of home. Yu Qian felt inexplicably relaxed. She hung her backpack and coat in the entrance and kissed Cheng Xiaonan. Perhaps this comforting familiarity should be called a sense of belonging. It was also this winter, before the New Year. A greater bond entered Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan’s lives. Actually, it was an accident. Because of the New Year, Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan were often invited to dinner by their parents. That day, they were with Old Cheng, driving to Grandma and Grandpa Cheng’s house for dinner. Grandpa Cheng had sponsored two students when he was young. One of them still worked in Father Cheng’s company and was very close to the Cheng family. This uncle came from an orphanage and often donated money after he started earning. During the dinner, when the orphanage was mentioned, Grandpa Cheng said, “The success of the Cheng family’s business depends on each person’s ability, but with healthy and safe descendants, and united and harmonious relatives, and Xiaonan having started his own family this year, it’s time to give back more to society.” Saying this, Grandpa Cheng took out a check and handed it to Cheng Xiaonan: “Xiaonan, later you, Xiaoqian, and your uncle will go together on my behalf and donate this money to those children in need.” This was the cause of the matter. That day, Cheng Xiaonan met a little boy in the orphanage whose eyes actually resembled Yu Qian’s. Later, Cheng Xiaonan and Yu Qian visited a few times and took a liking to the little boy. After discussing it, they decided to adopt him. The boy’s name was Ji Huai. He was fair-skinned and well-behaved. His parents died when he was 5 years old. The relatives who originally adopted him ran away with his family’s money, and he became an orphan, sent to the orphanage. When Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan adopted him, he was already in the first grade, very quiet, not fond of talking or smiling. Cheng Xiaonan said to Yu Qian, “This kid is quite like you, quite aloof.” The day Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan took him home, Ji Huai was very quiet throughout the journey, quieter than the wintry Imperial City outside the window. It wasn’t until the car stopped in the underground garage that Cheng Xiaonan turned from the driver’s seat and looked at Ji Huai: “Little one, we’re home.” Ji Huai looked at Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan, his clear eyes filled with unease. He hugged his schoolbag, all his belongings consisting only of textbooks and a few clothes, stuffed into a large schoolbag, bulging. Finally, he asked, “Later, when you have your own children, will you send me back?” There were also children like that in the orphanage, who had been adopted but were later abandoned when their adoptive parents had their own children. Ji Huai was afraid of this situation. He had never had it, nor would he dare to hope for it. But to have something, and then lose it... Yu Qian sat next to Ji Huai, and Cheng Xiaonan also got out of the driver’s seat and sat in the back. The car was spacious, and although sitting three people felt a bit close, at that moment, the sight of the three of them sitting together made the child feel more at ease. Cheng Xiaonan, like an older friend, put his arm around Ji Huai’s shoulder and spoke a long passage to him: “Little one, when you come here, treat this as your home, and treat us as friends or family, whatever you like.” “You can call us whatever you want, there are no strict rules.” “This is our first time being parents, so we might not be perfect in many ways. If there’s anything you’re unhappy or uncomfortable with, you need to say it, don’t keep it to yourself, understand?” “Just like now, say whatever you want, it’s good.” Cheng Xiaonan answered Ji Huai’s question. He said that he and Yu Qian loved each other very much, and their relationship was excellent. They would probably have a baby later, but the baby would be just like Ji Huai, a family member. “We will be a family of four, and no one will leave anyone behind.” These words gave Ji Huai some comfort. He nodded and softly said, “Thank you.” When they got out of the car, Cheng Xiaonan wanted to help Ji Huai carry his schoolbag. But Ji Huai said, “No need, this is something I can do, you don’t need to help. If there’s something I can’t do, I’ll ask you for help.” “Little rascal, quite cool.” Cheng Xiaonan smiled and pointed at Yu Qian, saying, “One thing to declare first, you can annoy me, but you absolutely cannot upset her, understand?” Ji Huai looked at Yu Qian in confusion. His eyes were sad, as if Yu Qian were ill. This poor child, scared by the hardships of the world, always thought the worst. Cheng Xiaonan turned his head back: “Not medically, but because she’s the eldest in the family, you know, the highest status, we all have to spoil her.” In fact, Cheng Xiaonan and Yu Qian had never been parents, and they weren’t very adept at Ji Huai’s arrival. They didn’t know what to do about many things and would even call Old Cheng for help. When Ji Huai first arrived home, he was very shy and polite, speaking and acting with an excessive politeness. One night before bed, Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan were chatting in bed, and Cheng Xiaonan said, “Isn’t this little one a bit too well-behaved? He thanks me for everything every day.” Yu Qian leaned against Cheng Xiaonan: “He’s scared.” “Scared of what? Am I not amiable? Even ‘11’ likes him.” Cheng Xiaonan’s tone was a bit sour, “And I think you care more about that kid than me. The last box of ice cream in the fridge the night before last was all eaten by him, and you didn’t even ask me.” “Didn’t you say you’re working out and controlling your sugar intake?” “I still wanted you to ask.” Cheng Xiaonan stopped teasing and returned to the serious topic, “What do you think he’s scared of?” “He’s afraid we’ll send him back, afraid that after getting close to us, he’ll lose us again.” Yu Qian’s voice spread softly in the night, “He’s just protecting himself.” Cheng Xiaonan suddenly took her hand and placed it over his heart: “You understand so well, is it because you’ve had a similar journey?” She actually had. For example, her insincere lies in the past. For example, she immediately hid abroad just because she saw Qu Liwen’s signature on his test paper. Behind those seemingly carefree, strong, and decisive actions was her self-preservation, unwilling to take even the slightest risk. She would rather put only a bear he gave her in her suitcase when going abroad than ask if their relationship was real back then, or listen to whether Qu Liwen really intended to marry Old Cheng. She dared not even discern her feelings for Cheng Xiaonan. Yu Qian traced Cheng Xiaonan’s strong heartbeat with her fingertips and replied, “Sort of.” “Not scared anymore?” “Isn’t that why you’re here?” Cheng Xiaonan smiled a little triumphantly, feeling that his persistence over the years had melted Yu Qian’s guard, and she was now increasingly generous in expressing her affection. A few days ago, Yu Qian went shopping with Sun Yue and Ji Ran, and even bought him a wallet and shoes. Although she also bought cat toys for “11” and winter clothes for Ji Huai. That also showed she loved him and thought of him constantly. Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan didn’t deliberately do anything, but they loved each other enough, and their care for their family members was heartfelt, sincere, and unpretentious. In such an environment, Ji Huai, though cautious, was slowly integrating into the family. After all, everything in the house was so warm, Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan never argued, and they were so loving every day, even “11” at home was so cute. When Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan were busy, an auntie would come to the house to buy groceries and cook. The auntie would always specifically ask Ji Huai before leaving, “Little one, what do you like to eat? Grandma will make what you love, okay?” Sometimes Old Cheng would also come over for dinner and bring small gifts for Ji Huai. Everyone was so kind. By the end of the year, Ji Huai was already sharing little stories about his classmates with Yu Qian and the others at the dinner table. During the New Year, Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan took Ji Huai to Grandpa and Grandma’s place. The Cheng family was large, and with all the relatives gathered, including Cheng Xiaonan’s older siblings’ children, Ji Huai finally looked a bit like a child. After lunch, he ran out with the other children, playing wildly and chasing each other in the yard. It was cold outside. When Yu Qian went out with a scarf, Ji Huai’s face was already red from the cold. He looked very happy and opened up to Yu Qian for the first time: “Auntie! I just saw a stray cat that looks so much like ‘11’!” Ji Huai called Yu Qian “Auntie” and Cheng Xiaonan “Uncle-in-law.” He said Yu Qian looked like his mother, but he never called them “Mom” or “Dad.” Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan didn’t force the issue, believing that what they called them wasn’t important; they were family regardless. Yu Qian helped him put on his scarf, listening to Ji Huai say, “I’ve never had such a lively New Year. My parents were always doing business outside and didn’t come home much. It was just me and my grandma, and then grandma passed away, and my parents passed away too. I used to live with an uncle, but not long after, he took all my parents’ savings and ran away. I thought I’d never have a New Year like this.” “I thought I wouldn’t either,” Yu Qian said. “Why wouldn’t you?” Ji Huai looked back at her in surprise, his lips exhaling white mist as he softly mumbled, “You clearly have everything.” Yu Qian smiled, talking about her childhood envy of other families’ New Years, about the lively New Years in the Imperial City when firecrackers could still be set off, about practicing smiling alone at home with chopsticks in her mouth, and about her mother’s lifelong foolish love. Ji Huai had never imagined Yu Qian lived like that, and he thought she would cry, because every time he thought of his parents and the past, he wanted to cry. But Yu Qian didn’t. She just smiled gently in the twilight and asked him, “If there’s a chance, would you like to see fireworks?” It seemed that from that day on, Ji Huai suddenly felt that he and Yu Qian had gone through similar experiences. He nodded and said yes, but then wondered, “Aren’t fireworks banned? Where would we go to see them?” Yu Qian pointed to Cheng Xiaonan not far away, who was walking over with a thick women’s scarf. She said, “As long as we want to see them, he’ll find a way.” Perhaps Ji Huai had too much fun on New Year’s Eve, for he fell ill on the first day of the Lunar New Year, running a high fever all morning. Cheng Xiaonan called a family doctor, and then he and Yu Qian watched over him as he received an IV drip, fed him medicine, and soup. After feeding the last spoonful of chicken soup into Ji Huai’s mouth, Cheng Xiaonan suddenly glanced at Yu Qian. “What are you looking at?” “Looking at your favoritism, you haven’t even fed me anything yet, but you’re already spoiling this kid.” Yu Qian now had ways to shut Cheng Xiaonan’s teasing mouth. She took the soup bowl to the kitchen sink, got a new bowl, filled it with soup, took a sip, and walked back to Cheng Xiaonan. She cupped Cheng Xiaonan’s chin and, before he could react, kissed him. Cheng Xiaonan uncontrollably wrapped his arms around her waist, kissed her for a while, then looked at Ji Huai lying in bed. “Not suitable for children, sister. Luckily, he’s asleep.” When Ji Huai woke up groggily, there was no sound in the bedroom. The almost empty IV bag hung on the headboard, and a medical plaster was still on the back of his hand to stop the bleeding. There was half a glass of water and some pills on the nightstand. He vaguely remembered hearing someone say, “Luckily, he’s asleep,” when he fell asleep. Ji Huai got out of bed. The living room and master bedroom were empty, and so were the kitchen and study. Even “11” wasn’t there. At that moment, a huge fear suddenly surged through Ji Huai— Did they abandon me? Did I trouble them by getting sick? The doctor today must have been very expensive! Because of this fear, Ji Huai suddenly forgot that their house had an attic. He stood helpless in the empty living room. Ji Huai felt a little uncomfortable and couldn’t help but call out, “Dad! Mom!” Cheng Xiaonan happened to come down from the attic, pushed open the wine cabinet, and heard such a mournful cry. Yu Qian, behind him, also froze. But Cheng Xiaonan, being accustomed to teasing Yu Qian, was never serious with children either. He immediately blurted out, “Oh, my good son, you’re awake?” Yu Qian poked him in the back, and only then did he straighten up, “Why are you looking at me like that? Are you uncomfortable?” Ji Huai rushed into their arms: “I thought you left! The doctor was expensive, I was afraid... I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore?” This little man, who tried to be strong every day, always so polite. For the first time, he threw himself into their arms, crying and acting spoiled without restraint. “What are you thinking? If we left and didn’t want you, would we leave you such a big house? Do you know how many digits this house costs?” Cheng Xiaonan picked Ji Huai up, “I went to get you a gift. See if you like it?” Yu Qian picked up a Lego set, a Q-version of Ji Huai. The mosaic-shaped pattern couldn’t be perfectly lifelike, but it still showed his likeness. Ji Huai had always known there was a pile of Lego sets in the attic, even “11”‘s head, but he never dared to ask for one of his own. But now, he suddenly had one. “New Year’s gift, do you like it?” Ji Huai nodded vigorously: “I like it!” Yu Qian said, “Where do you want to put it?” They went back to the attic. Ji Huai thought for a moment and placed his Lego next to “11”‘s. It was already enough happiness; he just wanted to be like “11,” not daring to ask for more. But Cheng Xiaonan picked up the Lego and placed it between himself and Yu Qian. He said, “‘11’ is placed lower because it’s short. You’re almost 1.3 meters tall after the New Year, so you should be placed higher.” That day was the first day of the Lunar New Year. Ji Huai changed his address, starting to awkwardly and softly call them Dad and Mom. They made dumplings together, and there were coins in the dumplings. Ji Huai ate one and was very happy, but he saw that his dad secretly put a dumpling with the outline of a coin already showing into his mom’s bowl. His mom ate two coins. Finally, when the “results” were announced, his dad feigned sadness and said, “You two both ate coins, one is first lucky, one is second lucky. It seems only ‘11’ and I aren’t doing so well in this family? In the new year, you two have to spoil ‘11’ and me well, understand?” Ji Huai looked at his dad, who had a youthful face but also the sorrow of an old father, and could only nod vigorously. As a result, Cheng Xiaonan immediately turned his head, pointed to his cheek, and asked Yu Qian, “The ancients said, a kiss can transfer good fortune, pass some to me?” Ji Huai quickly covered his eyes with his hands: “Then hurry up and kiss!” But Yu Qian said, “Which ancient person said that? Tell me about it?”

When Ji Huai was in third grade, his grades were pretty good. Because he didn’t have any particular ambition, he always fluctuated within the top three in his class, and his overall grade ranking hovered around the top ten. With such grades, Cheng Xiaonan would boast about him to everyone. Ji Huai also felt that he was doing quite well. Even Grandpa Cheng said he was amazing and encouraged him to go out and play more and participate in extracurricular activities. In terms of academics, Ji Huai had always been under no pressure. But one time, he accidentally overheard Aunt Ji Ran talking to his mother, Yu Qian— “I say, Yu Qian, when are you two going to have a baby? My second child can already crawl, and you two aren’t in a hurry?” “Ji Huai is very good.” “Of course Ji Huai is good, but aren’t you planning to have your own child? Just Ji Huai?” Ji Ran sat on the living room sofa, her diamond-manicured hand tapping on the back of the sofa, her face serious, “Honestly, I’m worried for you two. You’re 31 this year. It’s dangerous for women to have children after 30, it’s not good for your body, and not good for the child either.” At that time, Ji Huai was picking up “11”‘s toys, and the door was only half open. He heard this and looked up at his mother’s expression. Yu Qian had no particular reaction, taking a small sip of tea. Ji Huai had seen Yu Qian at work; she was always cool, spoke little, and rarely smiled. But at home, she often smiled, and when the three of them were huddled on the sofa watching variety shows, there were times she’d laugh so hard she’d fall into his dad’s arms. At this moment, her eyes were full of tenderness, and she smiled, saying, “Ji Huai would be uneasy. We discussed it and want to wait until he’s older before having another child.” “Why would he be uneasy? I see you two are so good to Ji Huai, almost spoiling him to the sky! You and Brother Nan aren’t the kind of harsh parents; even if you have a child, he’ll still be the treasure of the family, he won’t be uneasy, right?” Ji Ran said bluntly. Yu Qian shook her head: “Let’s wait a bit longer.” Having a child after 30, would it be bad for her health? Ji Huai had a computer in his room. He looked it up, from this question to difficult labor, and then from difficult labor to accidental death of pregnant women and children. The accompanying pictures were so bloody, and what was said online was so real. Ji Huai stared at the computer, his palms covered in cold sweat. They couldn’t let Mom and Dad wait any longer. It was too dangerous! It was also from that day on that Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan suddenly noticed that Ji Huai had started studying diligently. He used to be diligent, but never this diligent. In the morning, before they even called Ji Huai, the child was already sitting in the study reading. In the evening, he didn’t watch TV or go out to play; he just buried himself in his studies. Finally, even Cheng Xiaonan couldn’t stand it anymore. He pulled up a chair and sat opposite him: “Son, studying isn’t supposed to be like this. You need to balance work and rest, and play when you should, understand?” Ji Huai agreed on the surface, but he even memorized vocabulary in the car on the way to school. In the summer, when the final exam results came out, Yu Qian spoke with Ji Huai’s homeroom teacher and learned that Ji Huai had ranked first in his grade. The teacher was very happy on the phone, praising Ji Huai for his recent self-motivated and serious study, noting that while other children played during breaks, he was reading. The teacher also said that if Ji Huai had worked this hard earlier, first place in his grade would have been his long ago. She hoped Ji Huai would continue to work hard. Yu Qian frowned a little. She felt that everything had a reason. If Ji Huai hadn’t been stimulated in some way, why would he suddenly become so obsessed with studying? And she actually didn’t want Ji Huai to push himself so hard from elementary school. She discussed this with Cheng Xiaonan, who said, “Could it be that he likes a girl? Wasn’t I motivated because I met you back then?” As they were talking about this, Ji Huai returned from the library. Upon hearing that he had ranked first in the entire school, he seemed to let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders slumping. Ji Huai suddenly rushed over and hugged Yu Qian: “Mom, please have a little brother or sister. I won’t be jealous. I’ll love my little brother or sister, I’ll study hard, and I’ll be a good older brother. Please, don’t wait any longer, have one soon!” Yu Qian looked at Cheng Xiaonan, and Cheng Xiaonan looked at Yu Qian, not understanding what had suddenly gotten into Ji Huai. Later, Ji Huai, holding back tears, said he had looked it up and that late childbirth was very dangerous. Cheng Xiaonan laughed: “Then what’s the use of just begging your mom? If you want a little brother or sister sooner, doesn’t Dad have to put in some effort?” As soon as he finished speaking, Yu Qian hit him. “Why are you hitting me? They learned it in physiology class, it’s knowledge he needs to know.” “Cheng Xiaonan?” “Yes, your humble servant is here.” “Do I need a reason to hit you?” “No, no, does your hand hurt? Should I blow on it for you?”

Yu Qian discovered she was pregnant in the autumn of that year. Coincidentally, it was on their wedding anniversary, September 11th. That day, Ji Huai was very happy, and then he made a decision himself: he wanted to change his surname. “I hope my little brother or sister likes me and doesn’t think I’m an outsider. Even ‘11’’s full name is Cheng, so ‘Eleven,’ I’ll be Cheng Huai. Our family will be complete and tidy.” The following year, on May 20th, Yu Qian gave birth to a baby girl naturally. When it came to naming her, the elders of the Cheng family thought of a bunch of names for Yu Qian and Cheng Xiaonan to choose from. Finally, with a few characters in front of them, Cheng Xiaonan and Yu Qian discussed it and decided to call her “Mu,” Cheng Mu. Cheng Huai, who was sitting nearby, his eyes suddenly lit up. At that time, Cheng Huai was already preparing to enter the fifth grade of elementary school and had grown much taller. He hoped his sister would also have a name with the “three drops of water” radical, but he was too embarrassed to say it. “Dad, with so many auspicious and meaningful characters, did you really choose ‘Mu’?” Cheng Huai asked somewhat disbelievingly. Cheng Xiaonan was quite casual about it: “Whatever she’s called, she’ll live her own life. She has good parents and such an excellent brother, so whatever her name, she’ll do well, don’t you think?” Cheng Huai nodded vigorously: “Mm!” Yu Qian was also smiling; she had just given birth and was a bit weak. She said to Cheng Xiaonan, “Calling her ‘Mu’ is great. Both our children feel like they’re ‘watery’ and fresh.” Cheng Huai’s eyes felt itchy. At that moment, he really, really wanted to cry. Cheng Mu was a little sprite, her smile very much like Cheng Xiaonan’s, with a cute little dimple. Cheng Huai didn’t go out much that whole summer. He would even invite classmates over to show off his sister, his biological sister. A group of boys blinked their eyes, their gaze fixed on the pink baby girl lying in the stroller. Their hands, accustomed to holding basketballs, were at a loss, wanting to touch her but not daring to, only staring foolishly. Someone said, “Cheng Huai, your sister is so beautiful, like an angel. Her eyelashes are so long.” Cheng Huai, who usually remained humble despite consistently ranking first in his grade, couldn’t help but smile, lifting his chin proudly: “Of course! She’s my sister!” Cheng Mu and Cheng Huai grew up day by day. The year Cheng Mu started first grade, Cheng Huai was already in his second year of high school. During the holiday before school started, Cheng Xiaonan and Yu Qian took them on a meaningful trip. They volunteered for half a month in a small fishing village on the eastern side of their country, picking up trash washed ashore by the sea every day, and sometimes going out on boats to salvage trash from the ocean. After that trip, Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu were tanned, but when they left, they willingly donated their New Year’s money to the marine conservation association. Children can be heartwarming at times, and worrisome at others. The year Cheng Mu was in second grade, Cheng Huai was already in his final year of high school. One afternoon, Cheng Xiaonan received a call from Yu Qian; the teacher said the two children had been in a fight and were now in the office. That day, Yu Qian happened to be feeling unwell, with a low fever, resting at home, so Cheng Xiaonan went to the school. When he arrived at the office, Cheng Mu’s eyes were red, and she was shielded behind Cheng Huai. Cheng Huai was usually gentle, but today his face was cold. On the other side of the classroom stood two boys and a little boy, one of the boys had a bruised eye. Cheng Huai also had a long scratch on his neck. As soon as Cheng Mu saw Cheng Xiaonan, she peeked out from behind her brother and softly choked out “Dad.” “Are you hurt?” Cheng Xiaonan asked. “No.” After clarifying the reason, Cheng Xiaonan’s expression also turned cold. Cheng Huai said that the little boy who was with Cheng Mu had first cursed their mother, saying, “My mom said your mom used to have other men abroad and only came back to marry your dad because others didn’t want her.” Cheng Mu was usually a little lady. She went to piano lessons every week and protected her hands carefully. Because of her family’s doting, she always spoke softly, slowly, and politely. But when she heard her classmate’s words, she charged forward like a red-eyed little leopard, wanting to fight the boy. The boy’s older cousin happened to be picking him up, and a classmate who was going the same way was also there. The two high school boys, not knowing the full story, stopped Cheng Mu and even threatened her, telling her to stay away from his younger brother. With his older brothers’ protection, the boy brazenly shouted, “I wasn’t wrong, my mom said your mom is flashy and looks like a bad woman.” Cheng Huai arrived to pick up his sister and happened to see this scene. Hearing what they said, Cheng Huai pulled Cheng Mu behind him and started fighting with them. If the cause had been just everyday conflicts between children, Cheng Xiaonan wouldn’t have kept such a cold expression. Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu had never seen their dad like this. At home, their dad was always smiling, circling around their mom, playful and easy to talk to. Cheng Xiaonan sat in Cheng Huai’s teacher’s office, listening to the parents opposite him babble on and on. He said nothing and showed no expression, just lowered his eyes and fiddled with the watch on his wrist. “Even if children say something a bit excessive, they shouldn’t fight, fighting is bad...” The parents on the other side, feeling a bit guilty in response to Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu’s accusations, explained to the teachers. “Fighting is wrong. I will pay for all expenses for taking the child to a top-tier hospital for examination, plus extra compensation for nutritional expenses.” Cheng Xiaonan suddenly looked up, “Cheng Huai, Cheng Mu, come here.” The two children were very sensible and apologized after their impulsive act. However, after apologizing, they still felt a sense of injustice. Cheng Mu softly said, “But he talked about my mom.” Cheng Xiaonan certainly knew. Hitting people was wrong, and an apology was necessary. But he couldn’t tolerate someone talking about his wife. Cheng Xiaonan stood up: “I need this child to personally write an apology letter to my wife. As a parent of a child, aren’t you ashamed to say such things to such a young child? I hope to see your apology letter too, handwritten. If not, I will not accept a settlement. Everything has a cause and effect. Your education and spreading rumors are the cause of this fight, and you also need to pay the appropriate price.” That day was Friday, and school ended early. The campus was empty. Cheng Xiaonan bought drinks and sat on the steps with the two children. The campus of the affiliated high school was more beautiful than when Cheng Xiaonan attended, with a red and green track, newly painted teaching buildings, and the sports building opposite the main building painted creamy yellow. The national flag fluttered in the wind. Occasionally, one or two students who hadn’t left school yet walked across the middle of the track, wearing dark blue and white school uniforms and carrying their backpacks. The aggression in Cheng Xiaonan had faded. His way of interacting with the children had always been casual, not putting on airs as a parent, but more like a friend. Cheng Huai helped Cheng Mu unscrew her drink, but Cheng Mu didn’t drink it. The little girl sat on Cheng Xiaonan’s right, frowned, her eyes red, and leaned on Cheng Xiaonan’s leg: “Dad, I hate them talking about Mom.” Cheng Xiaonan raised his hand and patted Cheng Mu’s head: “Mom has never said bad things about anyone else’s mom, right? That shows Mom has greater perspective. Before you can discern right from wrong yourselves, having a mom who doesn’t casually speak ill of others is a good thing. It means Mom is more lovable, right?” A bell rang on campus, whether for class or dismissal, it was unclear. Cheng Xiaonan said that what they said was wrong, but fighting was wrong for them. Cheng Huai had always been a model student in the teachers’ eyes, clean-cut and likable, usually the most gentle. But today, he was so angry that it took him a while to blurt out, “Dad, if it were you, if you were my age and heard them talk about Mom, what would you do?” Cheng Xiaonan was silent for a moment: “I would also fight.” “See, I just can’t help it...” “But that only means that at around 17 or 18, we weren’t mature enough and were still impulsive. It doesn’t mean that solving things this way is right, do you think?” Cheng Xiaonan drank his drink, then glanced sideways at Cheng Huai, “Fighting in front of your sister isn’t good, what if your sister gets hurt? What if your sister learns to solve problems this way? As an older brother, you should always be more composed.” “...I’m sorry.” “You two, what’s the biggest mistake you’ve made, haven’t you figured it out yet?” The two children didn’t speak, so Cheng Xiaonan said, “Mom is still sick. Isn’t it bad to make her worry now?” “Mom knows?!” Cheng Mu suddenly stood up, her eyes wide with panic, “Can’t tell Mom, Mom still has a fever...” Cheng Xiaonan shrugged: “Can’t protect you two. The school called Mom first, and I was sent by Mom. She knew even earlier than I did.” “We’ll apologize to Mom when we get back,” Cheng Huai said. Cheng Xiaonan also stood up: “Good to know. How you’ll talk to Mom when you get back is up to you, just don’t make her worry about you anymore. Cheng Huai, do you want to go to the infirmary to get that scratch on your neck checked?” “It’s a minor injury, let’s go home.” After returning home, Yu Qian actually didn’t ask about the incident. She just carefully checked Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu, making sure they hadn’t suffered any serious injuries, and didn’t ask anything else. Yu Qian was not a mother who dwelled on small matters. She felt that if the children wanted to talk, they would say it themselves. There were no rules like “no talking while eating” or “no talking before bed” in their home. On the contrary, mealtime and bedtime were their family’s communication periods, and everyone was accustomed to sharing small things that happened around them at these times. At dinner, Yu Qian’s fever had subsided. Cheng Xiaonan served a bowl of soup and placed it in front of Yu Qian, then gave the two children a look. Cheng Mu explained the cause, and Cheng Huai explained the process. Finally, the two children stated that if similar incidents happened in the future, they would definitely find a better way to resolve them. They even stood up and solemnly apologized to Yu Qian, saying they shouldn’t have made her worry. Cheng Mu poked Cheng Xiaonan: “Dad, a child’s misbehavior is the father’s fault. Aren’t you going to apologize to Mom?” Cheng Xiaonan said very arrogantly, “Dad has a high status at home, no matter how big the matter is, Dad doesn’t need to apologize, understand?” Both children rolled their eyes at the same time. Before bed, Cheng Xiaonan carried Yu Qian out of the bathroom and helped her blow dry her hair. Yu Qian’s ears were filled with the buzzing of the hairdryer, and she only saw Cheng Xiaonan’s thin lips opening and closing in the makeup mirror, seemingly saying something. She turned her head and asked, “What are you saying? I can’t hear you.” Cheng Xiaonan was clearly complaining about Old Cheng; he had just been scolded again when he took Old Cheng downstairs. But when Yu Qian turned her head like that, with a bare face and a slight flush on her cheeks from the hot air, Cheng Xiaonan suddenly remembered some things he shouldn’t have. He was afraid of burning Yu Qian, so he moved the hairdryer away and cleared his throat. “I asked you, what were you saying just now?” Cheng Xiaonan then turned around and leaned down to kiss his wife. “I forgot. Now my mind is full of ‘I love you.’“ Outside the door, Cheng Mu, who wanted to find Yu Qian, was blocked by Cheng Huai. Cheng Huai gently closed the door that wasn’t properly shut: “Don’t go in, it’s inconvenient.” “Are Dad and Mom kissing again?” Cheng Mu pouted, “Brother, you always get to see it, I want to see it too, and ‘11’ wants to see it too, right ‘11’?” Cheng Huai bent down and picked up “11,” who was rubbing against his leg, and pushed Cheng Mu towards the living room. He thought to himself, he didn’t see anything. He just saw, through the crack in the door, that love had an ageless face.

Cheng Xiaonan had talked to the children about Oenothera biennis and had thought about taking them to see it. But the suburban area he had visited back then had long been re-planned and built into a city park, with neat and simple flowerbeds planted with various plants. Expensive imported roses bloomed brightly under the sun. Yu Qian had even gone there for an outdoor shoot one year, and there was no trace of its former self. It was also during that time that Cheng Xiaonan and the two children accompanied her to the suburbs. Staying in a hotel suite at night, Cheng Xiaonan told Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu about the past: “This place wasn’t like this before. Just outside the window, where the park is, see? There used to be a wild forest...” Cheng Huai, being a bit older, heard the words “wild forest” and immediately asked Cheng Xiaonan, “Dad, are you sure Mu Mu can listen? Is it something inappropriate?” “Go on, am I that unreliable?” Later, Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu learned that this place used to have a large patch of Oenothera biennis, and the light purple flowers in their parents’ couple bracelets were picked here a long time ago. Cheng Mu was a thoughtful little girl. One time, during a summer camp with her school, she saw Oenothera biennis on a hillside and almost screamed with excitement. Even the team leader was startled, saying how the usually quiet little girl could suddenly scream like that. Cheng Mu’s face turned beet red, and she raised her hand to ask the teacher if she could pick a stalk of Oenothera biennis to take home. When the teacher asked why, she proudly said that this flower was her parents’ token of love, and her mother’s wedding dress was embroidered with this kind of flower. That night, when video calling Yu Qian, Cheng Mu seemed a bit down. She said in the video, “Mom, I protected that Oenothera biennis very carefully, but it still wilted.” “Press it in a book, and it will become a specimen like the one in Mom’s bracelet, very cute.” “Really?” After the summer camp, Cheng Mu returned home and brought back a few Oenothera biennis specimens she had made in the wild, giving them to Cheng Xiaonan and Yu Qian. Later, these specimens were framed by Yu Qian and placed on the wine cabinet in the living room, with a line of gilded text below: “Our beloved daughter’s love for us.”

Another autumn. The palm-sized leaves of the London plane tree, like thin pancakes baked by the autumn wind, fell onto the roadside, becoming brittle in the dry northern air, crunching into several pieces when stepped upon. Cheng Huai had no classes at university this afternoon. He drove to pick up Cheng Xiaonan, and together they waited for Cheng Mu to finish elementary school. Just as he crushed a London plane leaf, Cheng Xiaonan’s phone rang. Cheng Huai happened to be about to call Shen Shen’s son for a basketball game. He answered the phone, and before he could even finish saying “Uncle Shen,” he was stunned by what Shen Shen said on the phone. Shen Shen spoke quickly, saying a lot— “Hey? Oh, Xiao Huai, where’s your dad? Ask him if he’s coming to the company to pick up your mom after work today. There’s a problem at the shooting location, and your mom hurt her foot and can’t walk. Anyway, if he can’t make it, I’ll take your mom home, don’t worry. Just tell your dad, I have to hang up, I’m dealing with things here.” Cheng Xiaonan had already seen Cheng Mu happily running out of the school gate and waved to his daughter. He turned his head and saw Cheng Huai holding his phone, looking stunned. Cheng Xiaonan asked, “What are you staring at?” “Dad, Uncle Shen said there was a problem at the shooting site, and Mom seems to be injured.” “Where is she hurt? Is it serious?” Cheng Xiaonan’s tone suddenly became anxious.

Yu Qian was originally shooting in Zone C of the “Eleven” photography base. The set was built with wooden boxes arranged like steps, covered with a dark fabric, and decorated with a pile of discarded paper scraps printed with sheet music, scattered on top. She and two other models needed to sit on these wooden steps for the shoot. No one knew what happened when it occurred, but a model standing in the back suddenly screamed and fell backward. Yu Qian vaguely heard a sound of wood breaking. She pulled the model behind her, and in her haste, twisted her ankle. The injury wasn’t severe; the three models had some scratches on their arms, more or less. Yu Qian just twisted her ankle; nothing else was serious. The shoot didn’t stop. After the set was restored and confirmed to be safe, they completed the shooting task. But because of the delay, Yu Qian’s ankle swelled a bit, and she was applying an ice pack. This incident alarmed Shen Shen. “Eleven” valued the safety of its models most. The materials used for set decoration had to undergo strict approval from relevant departments. The wooden boxes used for this set should never have been so flimsy as to break when models stepped on them. After all, female models weighed less than 100 pounds, some even less than 90 pounds. Upon inspection, it was found that the wooden boxes were not the specifications ordered by the photographer at all; the thickness of the wood planks was actually 4mm thinner than expected. Shen Shen inquired and found that the quality of set materials for other shooting locations had also been inconsistent recently. Some people had reported it, but no accidents had occurred, so these messages were put aside. The expenditure accounts were approved by Shen Shen, and even if there were material problems, not a single penny was missing. That meant someone in the procurement process had embezzled some of the money and then used inferior materials. Shen Shen was already overwhelmed. As soon as he entered the photography studio’s lounge, he saw Yu Qian applying an ice pack. He was shocked: “What happened to you? Are you okay? My goodness, don’t tell me you’re the model who got injured in the accident during the shoot just now.” “Just a sprained ankle...” “Medical! Where’s medical staff!!!” Shen Shen didn’t even wait for Yu Qian to finish, shouting for medical staff, then muttering, “I have to call Brother Nan. I’m done for. I was already negligent at work, and now his precious darling is hurt. I think I’m dead...” Yu Qian thought her ankle sprain wasn’t serious enough for Cheng Xiaonan to make a fuss. But not long after, Cheng Xiaonan arrived with the two children, all three looking anxious. As soon as they entered, they started pulling her and asking questions, wondering why she hadn’t gone to the hospital yet. Cheng Mu looked like she was about to cry: “Mom, does it hurt? Let brother carry you, let’s go to the hospital.” Cheng Mu also said, “Mom, I’ll carry you to the hospital.” Yu Qian looked at Cheng Xiaonan, hoping he would say something to calm the children’s emotions. But Cheng Xiaonan also frowned and said, “We have to go to the hospital, what if it’s a bone injury?” In the end, Yu Qian convinced her three overly anxious family members. After applying ice, her ankle had already reduced in swelling significantly. She could clearly walk on her own, but Cheng Xiaonan carried her in a princess carry. She was still wearing the long dress from the photoshoot, layers of shimmering tulle cascading down, the train almost touching the ground. Cheng Xiaonan lowered his voice, trying to speak at a volume the two children couldn’t hear: “Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital? Why does it look so serious to me? It’s swollen.” Yu Qian put her arm around Cheng Xiaonan’s neck and also lowered her voice: “No, it’s really not serious.” They often had conversations like this. Even as an old married couple, they still enjoyed a bit of independent space. Yu Qian asked Cheng Xiaonan, “From what Shen Shen said, it seems like many people are involved in this prop accident? Will it be very troublesome to deal with?” “No trouble, you don’t need to worry about company matters. I might just need to work a few extra shifts to handle the follow-up.” Cheng Xiaonan held Yu Qian. As they approached the elevator, he suddenly chuckled, “Why does your dress look so much like a wedding dress?” “It is a wedding dress.” “Oh, I see. No wonder holding you feels like I’m marrying you again.” Yu Qian slightly raised an eyebrow: “Then you’re at a loss, marrying the same person twice.” “How can that be a loss? If I really married you twice, then I’d be too lucky. As long as I marry, I hope it’s you.” He smiled, revealing a dimple, “No one else.” “Dad, what do you mean ‘no one else’?” Cheng Huai pressed the elevator button, his eyes showing concern as he looked at Yu Qian’s ankle, “What are you and Mom talking about? Is it really serious?” “Just some sweet talk, don’t be nosy.” Sun Yue was away on a business trip these days, and a temporary assistant was with Yu Qian. This time, when Yu Qian twisted her ankle, the temporary assistant seemed a bit nervous, following closely behind Cheng Xiaonan and the others, not daring to speak, silently seeing them off. Cheng Xiaonan suddenly looked back, startling the assistant, who widened her eyes nervously. Cheng Xiaonan only said to Cheng Huai, “You take your mom’s bag. Don’t trouble her with carrying it.” “Auntie, give me the bag. You don’t have to see us off, go back to your work.” The assistant quickly agreed and handed the bag to Cheng Huai. The family of four entered the elevator, went downstairs, and got into the car. Yu Qian’s bag was carried by Cheng Huai and placed in the back seat. Shortly after the car started, just as they drove out of “Eleven,” Cheng Mu suddenly saw something in the bag and took it out, asking Yu Qian, “Mom, why is there a crumpled piece of paper in your bag?” Yu Qian had picked it up from the shooting set and put it in her bag. Cheng Mu held the crumpled paper and handed it over through the gap between the driver’s seat and the passenger seat. Cheng Xiaonan, who was driving, also took a moment to glance at what Cheng Mu was holding and casually asked, “Sheet music?” “Mm.” “When it comes to romance, no one can compare to Old Jiang. He can even come up with so many tricks for a wedding photo advertisement.” Old Jiang was the main photographer for Yu Qian’s shoot. His ideas were incredibly romantic, and he always had new ones. Cheng Xiaonan was originally talking about Old Jiang, but then he stopped at a red light. Cheng Xiaonan was curious about what kind of music was on the crumpled paper, so he took it and unfolded it to read. He had learned to play the guitar when he was young, and although he was only half-good, he could read music. After humming a few lines, Cheng Xiaonan suddenly gave Yu Qian a meaningful look. It was an old song, “When You Are Old.” The lyrics were adapted from William Butler Yeats’ “When You Are Old.” Back then, stuck in traffic on the way to get their marriage certificate, Cheng Xiaonan had recited this poem to Yu Qian. The two children had a generation gap with them; many songs they were familiar with, the children hadn’t heard. Cheng Mu was still asking what Dad was humming. Cheng Xiaonan folded the crumpled paper, put it in his shirt pocket over his heart, started the car when the light turned green, and answered the children with a smile: “It’s your mom’s love for me.” Cheng Huai sat in the back, watching his dad’s smiling eyes in the rearview mirror, looking like he was asking for trouble: “How about asking the auntie to make braised pork trotters? Mom hurt her foot, so she needs to nourish herself.” Sure enough, his dad was retorted. Yu Qian said, “And stew some pig brain for you to nourish yourself too.” Cheng Xiaonan was in a very good mood all the way, besides worrying about Yu Qian’s ankle, he kept staring at her at red lights. Yu Qian asked him what he was looking at, and he just smiled, saying there was a fairy in his car, too beautiful to take his eyes off. The car drove to an intersection not far from their community. Yu Qian suddenly squinted: “Cheng Xiaonan, was that Auntie’s car that just turned into the community?” “Didn’t notice, if the license plate is 667, then it is.” Yu Qian asked because she didn’t see the license plate clearly. However, Cheng Huai, who was behind them, said, “It might be, I thought so too.” The family of four drove into the community, only to find several familiar cars parked in the downstairs parking spaces. Old Cheng was there, Cheng Xiaonan’s aunt and uncle, his great-aunt and uncle, and his second uncle and aunt. Everyone who lived relatively close had come. Yu Qian was a little confused, still wondering to herself: What day is it today, why is everyone here? As soon as Cheng Xiaonan rolled down the car window, Old Cheng immediately poked his head in: “Xiaoqian, where are you hurt? Are you okay? I called a doctor, he’ll be here soon, let him check you again.” “...Dad, I’m fine.” It turned out that on the way to “Eleven,” Cheng Huai and Cheng Mu received a message from Old Cheng asking them: Do you want to come to Grandpa’s house for dinner tonight? Cheng Mu told Old Cheng, “No, Grandpa, Mom got hurt at work.” Old Cheng was anxious. Just then, Cheng Xiaonan’s aunt called, and Old Cheng said that Xiaoqian was hurt. Anyway, the news spread from family to family. Everyone was worried about Yu Qian, so they all came over. While eating, Old Cheng was still scolding Cheng Xiaonan: “Your broken company, if you can run it, run it; if you can’t, don’t! How can the set have problems? What if Xiaoqian got badly hurt?” Cheng Xiaonan pulled Yu Qian’s hand under the table and briefly exchanged glances with her. Then he helplessly said, “Dad, Dad, Old Cheng! We’re in front of the kids, can you give me some face? Don’t always talk about me, what if ‘11’ looks down on me later?” That night before bed, Cheng Xiaonan carried Yu Qian out of the bathroom and helped her blow dry her hair. Yu Qian’s ears were filled with the buzzing of the hairdryer. She only saw Cheng Xiaonan’s thin lips opening and closing in the makeup mirror, as if he was saying something. She turned her head and asked, “What are you saying? I can’t hear you.” Cheng Xiaonan was clearly complaining about Old Cheng; he had just been scolded again when he took Old Cheng downstairs. But when Yu Qian turned her head like that, with a bare face and a slight flush on her cheeks from the hot air, Cheng Xiaonan suddenly remembered some things he shouldn’t have. He was afraid of burning Yu Qian, so he moved the hairdryer away and cleared his throat. “I asked you, what were you saying just now?” Cheng Xiaonan then turned around and leaned down to kiss his wife. “I forgot. Now my mind is full of ‘I love you.’“ Outside the door, Cheng Mu, who wanted to find Yu Qian, was blocked by Cheng Huai. Cheng Huai gently closed the door that wasn’t properly shut: “Don’t go in, it’s inconvenient.” “Are Dad and Mom kissing again?” Cheng Mu pouted, “Brother, you always get to see it, I want to see it too, and ‘11’ wants to see it too, right ‘11’?” Cheng Huai bent down and picked up “11,” who was rubbing against his leg, and pushed Cheng Mu towards the living room. He thought to himself, he didn’t see anything. He just saw, through the crack in the door, that love had an ageless face.