72. It’s a Sin to Love More. 

“Who else would I marry besides you?”

At the soft whisper close to her ear, Se-hee’s eyes trembled. She stayed still, unsure how to react, as his firm arm pulled her small body closer into his embrace.

“Joo Se-hee. Se-hee.”

Her heart ached at the name, whispered so tenderly into her ear, as if releasing all his pent-up emotions. She wanted to stay in his arms longer, to hear his gentle voice call her name again. But she couldn’t. They were nothing to each other now.

“CEO, people are watching. Please let go for a moment.”

Se-hee spoke as calmly and admonishingly as possible, but Kang-joon gave no reply. Did he even hear me?

“CEO.”

“...”

“CEO Seo Kang-joon.”

“...”

“Mr. Kang-joon?”

“...Hmm.”

He’s as stubborn as a growling tiger. Se-hee said softly, almost a sigh.

“Could you please let go of me? You know better than anyone that we’re not like this anymore, Mr. Kang-joon.”

“Just a little longer.”

He was like a large dog whining to its owner, making her heart soften. But the more this happened, the more she had to steel her resolve.

“Shall I get angry?”

At that single phrase, Kang-joon released Se-hee quickly and backed away. When she slowly turned around, Kang-joon was standing there as if nothing had happened, completely composed. It was always her turn to be flustered and confused.

“Are you just thinking about marrying me? Or do you really intend to get married?”

“Of course, we have to get married.”

Kang-joon’s answer was without hesitation, as if he had been waiting for this very moment, when the sole obstacle of being a married man had disappeared. Se-hee suddenly wondered if he truly thought that was the only obstacle.

“How much do you know about me, Mr. Kang-joon?”

“I know enough about the Joo Se-hee of the past. As for the Joo Se-hee of the future, I intend to get to know her together.”

She always felt this, but he was a man with a knack for leaving her speechless. His composed gaze, expression, and tone. This time too, the embarrassment was solely hers.

“Then you must know who my father is too. And what fills my mind.”

Kang-joon, slowly putting his hands into his pants pockets, answered calmly.

“The past is just the past, and it’s only natural to return what you’ve received. I don’t see what the problem is.”

It was a moment where the difference between Kang-joon and herself was starkly felt. She was cautious and difficult about everything, while Seo Kang-joon made everything easy and comfortable. As if their lives, from the moment they were born, were distinctly different. Indeed, nothing would be difficult for you. Because you grew up not knowing such things. How nice it must be to live such an easy life, Mr. Seo Kang-joon. But I’m not like that. I have to make every small decision carefully, judge prudently, and tap a sturdy stone bridge dozens of times before crossing. Even for the baby in my womb.

“And yet, you still like me, Mr. Kang-joon?”

“I don’t think I like you.”

“...”

“I love you.”

“...”

“And that’s to a crazy, infuriating extent.”

In front of such a consistent man, Se-hee finally lost her will to fight. It was as if all the agonizing she had done before Kang-joon arrived was meaningless. The reasons why they shouldn’t marry. No, the reasons why he couldn’t marry her. What was she supposed to do with this man who could so effortlessly handle all of it? Her stomach, which had been quiet all day, suddenly sent a signal. As Se-hee covered her mouth with her hand, her face turned pale, and Kang-joon asked worriedly.

“Are you not feeling well?”

“I’ve been getting indigestion lately. I’ll just go to the restroom.”

Without waiting for Kang-joon’s reply, Se-hee turned and walked quickly to the restroom. After a few dry retches over the toilet, her queasy empty stomach settled down. As she washed her hands at the sink and stepped out, Kang-joon, who had been leaning against the wall, approached Se-hee.

“Take indigestion medicine, or stomach medicine. Take whatever suits your symptoms.”

Se-hee silently stared at the medicine Kang-joon offered. Should she tell him she was pregnant? No, it wasn’t the right time yet. She hadn’t even been to the hospital, but most of all, she needed to clear her thoughts. She hadn’t expected him to truly want marriage. Kang-joon’s gaze, as he scrutinized Se-hee’s face while she reluctantly took the medicine, was persistent.

“You’re losing weight, which worries me more and more.”

“...”

“We need to get married soon so I can keep you by my side.”

Only then did Se-hee look at Kang-joon with a bewildered expression. She simply couldn’t understand how losing weight was connected to marriage. But now, she had no strength left to retort. In the end, Se-hee sighed softly.

“Could you give me some time to think?”

“I’m not inclined to, but let’s do that.”

“I’ll contact you.”

“Do as you wish.”

But something was subtly off. Kang-joon’s tone, expression, and gaze. Se-hee asked, just in case.

“You’re not sulking, are you?”

“I’m not sulking.”

Liar, he is sulking.

“I guess I’m a bit disappointed. It always feels like I’m the only one who’s crazy and desperate.”

“...”

“It’s a sin to love more.”

Kang-joon chuckled softly and naturally changed the subject.

“Let’s go, I’ll take you home.”

“I can go alone.”

“I’ve given in on one thing, so you should give in on one thing too, Ms. Joo Se-hee.”

She stared at him, unsure what he had given in on, when Kang-joon replied nonchalantly.

“I gave you time to think, didn’t I?”

“How is that...”

Just as she was about to argue about how that counted as giving in, Kang-joon cut her off.

“I originally wasn’t going to let you go until you agreed, but I’m letting you go because you don’t look well.”

“Mr. Kang-joon, were you always this self-willed?”

“If I didn’t push like this, it’s obvious you’d try to escape again. What else can I do?”

Kang-joon muttered his reply and took another step closer, looking down at her intently.

“I’m a bit out of patience right now, because of someone.”

His eyes, looking down quietly, seemed to reproach her. It’s because of you, who never trusted me and left. So Se-hee couldn’t retort. She knew how considerate and gentlemanly he had been when he was her husband. What he said wasn’t wrong. If Kang-joon hadn’t pushed like this, she would have found a way to get out somehow.

“I’ll ask again. Do you object to me taking you home?”

She felt sorry for Kang-joon, so very sorry. It felt like she had deceived his sincerity towards her. But she had no choice, and if such a situation arose again, she would do the same. As long as the circumstances didn’t change. Se-hee sighed deeply and quietly shook her head.

________________________________________

The car Se-hee had driven was to be followed by Kang-joon’s driver. So, she sat in the passenger seat next to Kang-joon for the first time in a long while. Feeling awkward, Se-hee spoke.

“Did you change cars?”

“I didn’t change it, I bought another one.”

She couldn’t take her eyes off Kang-joon, who was still showing off his elegant driving skills. Especially his hands. Normally, his intelligent and sharp eyes were what she liked best, but when he drove, it was his hands. Should she say his hands, as beautiful as his face, captivated her gaze? Just as she was staring at his hands, mesmerized, the traffic light happened to change, and the car stopped. Kang-joon turned his head, and their gazes intertwined.

“...”

“...”

A red light, a stopped car, burning eyes. Her body instinctively tensed like Pavlov’s dog. She swallowed hard, and her long eyelashes fluttered. One second stretched into an hour. But nothing happened, and the car smoothly started again. Se-hee, her face flushed, fixed her gaze out the window and sighed softly. In truth, she didn’t even know herself. Was it a sigh of relief that he didn’t kiss her, or a sigh of regret that he didn’t? As she stared blankly at the passing scenery outside the window, her eyelids slowly grew heavy. No matter how she thought about it, this man drove too calmly and well. Even though he was a complete stranger now, she really liked this moment alone with Kang-joon. The hot gaze she felt at times, the powerful scent that filled the car, his low and even breathing. Perhaps that’s why she fell asleep. *** When Se-hee opened her eyes, her seat was reclined. She had fallen asleep with Kang-joon’s jacket draped over her, almost hugging it. This must be why I slept so soundly. Because of Seo Kang-joon’s scent emanating from the jacket. Se-hee muttered self-deprecatingly as she straightened the passenger seat backrest.

“You’re crazy, Joo Se-hee. How could you fall asleep?”

She looked out the window and saw Kang-joon talking on the phone in familiar surroundings. As Se-hee opened the car door and got out, Kang-joon turned, hung up the phone, and approached her.

“You were sleeping so soundly that I couldn’t wake you. Did you sleep well?”

As Kang-joon smiled brightly, scrutinizing her complexion, her face flushed for no reason. Avoiding his gaze, Se-hee muttered.

“I haven’t been able to sleep much lately...”

It was embarrassing but true. She tossed and turned at night, was incredibly sleepy during the day, but couldn’t fall asleep when she closed her eyes. Perhaps because she knew she was pregnant, sleep was now truly overwhelming her.

“I haven’t been able to sleep much lately either.”

Se-hee lifted her head at his softly seeping voice and met his deep gaze.

“I was just wondering if it was for the same reason. Like, because the person I used to sleep with every night isn’t there anymore.”

Her heart inexplicably pounded, and Se-hee swallowed hard.

“Well, if not, then never mind.”

Kang-joon casually concluded his words and surveyed the few villa buildings with his eyes.

“Which building and unit are you in?”

He asked so naturally that Se-hee almost answered without thinking.

“I don’t think there’s any reason to tell you my home address.”

“You obviously won’t let me escort you to your front door, so I’ll just watch from here to make sure you got in safely.”

At this point, Se-hee grew curious. Was he truly asking because he didn’t know, or was he pretending not to know even though he did?

“I guess he didn’t do a background check on my home address.”

“If I had set my mind to it, I would have found out anything. But I didn’t want to.”

Kang-joon continued calmly with a relaxed gaze.

“Why bother? I can just hear it directly from you.”

“Why do you think I’d tell you?”

“Because there’s no reason not to tell me.”

“...”

“You know better than anyone that I wouldn’t do anything to harm Joo Se-hee.”

Good heavens, in two months, the growling tiger had become even more shameless and confident. Kang-joon chuckled softly and looked at the villa building again.

“While you were sleeping, I saw quite a few young men entering and exiting the villa. Do you know that?”

How would I know that? I live here because the surrounding infrastructure is good, it’s close to the company, and outsiders are strictly controlled.

“Especially many went into Building 2. Surely Building 2 is...”

“I’m in Building 1.”

She thought Oh no, but it was already too late. With a wickedly alluring smile, Kang-joon slowly asked.

“Building 1, what unit?”

Ha, I don’t even know anymore. Since he was a man of his word, it was best to just tell him and go home quickly.

“...Unit 505.”

“Unit 505, huh.”

Kang-joon muttered softly, tracing the location of Unit 505 in Building 1 with his eyes, and said.

“Go inside, turn on your lights, come out to the terrace, and show me your face. Then I’ll leave.”

It seemed like a waste of time to resist, so Se-hee finally said okay and turned around. She didn’t look back even once, but she could feel Kang-joon’s persistent gaze clinging to her. She felt strange. Like an invisible noose Kang-joon had cast was tightening around her. Like she was playing in Kang-joon’s palm. It wasn’t entirely good, but it wasn’t entirely bad either. Once inside her home, Se-hee pondered for a moment. It was bright during the day, so there was no need to turn on the living room lights, but should she go out to the terrace and show her face or not?

“Hmph, let him wait if he wants.”

Instead of going out to the terrace, Se-hee plopped down on the sofa. She simply sat there stubbornly, killing time. She just wanted to be as self-willed as Kang-joon always was. To be mean and selfish, because it felt like she could be that way to Seo Kang-joon. At the same time, she desperately wished. That Seo Kang-joon would deviate from her expectations. So that she wouldn’t be swayed by him any longer. Se-hee stubbornly held out for about 20 minutes, then finally couldn’t take it anymore and got up.

“That busy man surely wouldn’t actually be waiting, would he?”

The moment she stepped out onto the terrace and looked outside, Se-hee admitted that she had utterly lost. Kang-joon was leaning against his car, talking on the phone, while keeping his eyes on her. As if he had never once taken his gaze off her. Kang-joon waved his hand as a sign that he had seen Se-hee. At his greeting, Se-hee also found herself waving back in a daze. Like affectionate lovers saying goodbye, reluctant to part.

________________________________________

As the car carrying Kang-joon disappeared, Se-hee muttered softly.

“I lost again.”

Seo Kang-joon must have expected this again. That she would eventually come out. She resented and hated that man who always saw through her and swayed her heart.