NILWM - 38

Ye-seo came out of the bathroom and looked at her phone. She had several messages and texts from her friends. But there was nothing from him. After a moment of hesitation, she brought up Han Joo-hyuk’s number on the screen. She bravely tried to call him, but in the end, she switched to the text message window.

[Senior. Are you still very busy? I was just wondering how you’re doing.]

There was no reply. There was no ‘read’ notification either. Even as she opened a document to write her novel, her mind was constantly on her phone. She would have felt more at ease if he had at least read it, but she was hurt that he hadn’t even checked it.

Idiot. He told you not to feel hurt. It means he’s too busy to even check it.

Logically, she fully understood. The problem was that her emotions were slowly getting ahead of her reason.

I trusted myself not to be like this. No, I shouldn’t be like this. We just started dating, and if I get tired already... If I complain or cry and disappoint him...

Her chest felt tight, and her mouth was dry. It was when she was leaving her room to quietly go to the kitchen for a drink.

“You’re still not in contact with your in-laws, are you? I know the kids’ aunt moved to Japan or America, but your mother-in-law is still down south, right?”

“She seems to be in a nursing home, but that’s none of my business. The kids’ father is dead, so she’s no longer my family, and I’ve completely cut ties with her.”

“Well, your in-laws were really fussy since Min-seo was the only son for four generations. They made a big fuss and made your life with them a living hell. Tsk...”

Grandma is in a nursing home. Is she very ill?

Ever since she was a child, she had always overheard stories about how her paternal grandmother had been harsh on her mother, even after they had moved out and lived separately in the beginning of their marriage. When her father was alive, her aunt had come to mediate a few times, but they had ended up having a big fight with her mom, and her parents, who usually got along, would have a cold, icy atmosphere between them for days whenever an issue related to her grandmother came up.

Whenever that happened, her mother would take only Jung-woo and go to her maternal grandparents’ house for a few days. She had cried and begged to be taken with them, but she had never been taken along.

• You have to stay with your father. Jung-woo is weak, so your mom has to take care of him. I’ll be back next week, so be a good girl.

Ye-seo was about to turn around and head to the kitchen when she stopped again. Her name had suddenly been mentioned in her grandmother’s soft voice.

“That young man I ran into earlier, is he Pharmacist Kim’s son? The youngest one you said you hoped would get together with Ye-seo? Even from a brief look, he seemed very handsome and his personality was so friendly and nice.”

“Yes. Their family is secretly very wealthy. If Ye-seo marries into a family like that, she’ll be comfortable and happy, you know. I might even ask them to make a place for our Jung-woo at their company when he graduates and comes back. It’s not a big corporation, but it’s a very solid company that does a lot of exports. That’s the real reason, you know.”

Ye-seo’s face instantly went cold. She couldn’t even breathe and was frozen in place, unable to move.

“Hey, if you sent him to study abroad all that way, wouldn’t it be better for him to settle down there? Even if he comes back to Korea to get a job, he should go to a big company. No matter how solid Pharmacist Kim’s company is, it’s still a small-to-medium-sized enterprise.”

“Oh, Mom, you just don’t know. These days, just because you studied abroad doesn’t mean you can get into a big corporation or settle down there. Jung-woo is already weak in body and mind, so how can I make him live away from home any longer? He was even exempted from military service because he’s physically and mentally weak... The reason I sent him to study abroad was because a man’s academic background follows him for life.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Still, don’t expect too much from Ye-seo’s marriage... These days, they all date and get married on their own. And women who do well in professional careers get married late or don’t get married at all. Remember the eldest daughter of the orchard family in our hometown? That girl became a lawyer and doesn’t even think about getting married even though she’s forty now.”

“If I were that family’s daughter, I wouldn’t get married either, because of what I saw and heard. Her father was constantly having affairs and his mistresses were coming and going all the time, he squandered their fortune, and he beat his wife like a dog every day... If you saw that from a young age, wouldn’t you think there’s nothing good to come out of marriage?”

“Oh my, since we’re on the subject, do you know what happened last week? That family’s third mistress...”

It was only after the conversation had completely shifted in a different direction that Ye-seo turned around. But the bathroom door opened more quickly. Her mom turned around and saw her as she turned on the bathroom light.

“Oh my, you startled me. What are you doing in the dark like a ghost?”

“Mom.”

If she hadn’t run into her mother and had just gone back to her room. If that had happened, she would have cried alone and consoled herself, as she always did.

But now, she couldn’t do that at all. With the situation of not being able to contact Han Joo-hyuk, the hurt and sadness she usually felt toward her mother rushed in, and her emotions had reached their limit.

“Mom. The reason you wanted me to get together with Senior In-ha... was it because of Jung-woo in the end?”

“What? You... you overheard what I was talking about with Grandma?”

“It wasn’t for me, but for Jung-woo, in the end. So that if Jung-woo couldn’t get a job, you could ask Senior In-ha’s father’s company for a position.”

“What’s wrong with this girl, all of a sudden, in the middle of the night? Of course, it was also for your sake! Where else would you meet a husband as good as him? In-ha is a really great guy, and his family, wealth, and the character of his parents are all impeccable.”

“You say it was also for my sake...?”

• I might even ask them to make a place for our Jung-woo at their company when he graduates and comes back. It’s not a big corporation, but it’s a very solid company that does a lot of exports. That’s the real reason, you know.

“That’s the real reason, you know” - that last phrase was still so vivid. It felt like she had been hit hard on the back of her head.

“Mom. Are Jung-woo and I really twins?”

“What...?”

“Every time you do this... I feel like I’m a child you picked up from outside.”

Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Her head was buzzing with a sharp sense of betrayal. She felt foolish for believing her mother, who had asserted that she loved both of them equally, but Jung-woo just needed a little more care.

Stupid Min Ye-seo. What did you expect? In the end, Mom always puts Jung-woo first, cares for him the most, and lives only for Jung-woo.

No matter how hard she tried, nothing would change. Probably forever.

“I’m sick of this now! I’m tired!”

“Oh my, why are you two yelling so loudly in the middle of the night? Huh?”

Her grandmother was surprised and ran out of the room. She seemed quite flustered that her granddaughter, who was usually quiet and calm, was raising her voice like this. Her mother seemed just as taken aback and pointed a finger at her daughter with wide eyes.

“How dare you raise your voice and talk back like that? Your grandmother is here!”

“Hey, your voice is even louder. Be quiet, the neighbors are going to call the police!”

Ye-seo ran out of the house without even thinking to wipe her tears. The sorrow was so overwhelming that she didn’t have time to grab her clothes or her wallet. Oh my, girl, where are you going at this hour! Leave her alone, she’s not a child, let her go wherever she wants! Her grandmother’s shouts and her mother’s grumbling were heard behind her.

As soon as she left her apartment building, a cold chill overwhelmed her. She ran out of the apartment complex and sat on a bench in the playground, and then she finally noticed how she was dressed.

All she was wearing was the fleece hoodie and sweatpants she had been wearing in her room. Besides the UGG boots she had put on in a hurry, her attire was not suitable for going out at all. Luckily, her phone was in her pants pocket.

Ye-seo sat in the middle of the desolate playground and cried for a long time. It was so quiet and lonely that she felt like she had been abandoned in the world all by herself. It was almost midnight. Her whole body was shivering from the cold, but she didn’t want to go back home.

Her hand automatically picked up her phone and dialed Han Joo-hyuk’s number. The call rang as if it would go on forever, and then it went to voicemail. The crying that had barely subsided burst out again.

“Senior. Just for a moment... just for 5 minutes. No, even just for 1 minute... Can you please just answer the phone...? Hnng...”

She hoped he would answer this time, no matter how busy he was that he hadn’t been able to contact her for days, and no matter how hectic he was with the final deadline approaching. Just for a moment, when her heart was breaking like this and she felt such deep-seated loneliness. Just for a little while.

She tried once more, but the call didn’t go through. When she got to the voicemail on the third try, a wet, metallic sound escaped her without her knowing it.

“Senior. What should I do...? I’m so upset... and tired...”

Hng. She swallowed a sob and hung up the phone. She had no expectation that he would hear it. Since he couldn’t even take a call, there was no way he would check his voicemail.

Stop it. Don’t make him sick of you. Do you want him to turn his back on you and leave, too?

It was too cold to sit on the playground anymore. She was about to go out onto the main street to go to a 24-hour cafe-style convenience store when her phone rang. She thought it would be her mother or grandmother. But the moment she saw the caller ID, Ye-seo’s wet eyes widened.

“Senior...?”

The screen showed ‘Han Joo-hyuk.’ She pressed the call button immediately without thinking. His familiar low voice came through the frigid night air.

• “Where are you right now?”

“Senior.”

• “What happened? No... I’m coming right now. Tell me where you are.”

Even at this hour, she could faintly hear the voices of employees and the loud typing sounds in the background.

“Did you listen to my voicemail?”

• “Yeah.”

She heard a rustling sound and the harsh screech of a chair being dragged.

“I’m okay, Senior. Nothing’s wrong. You must be so busy right now...”

• “Are you really okay?”

“Yes, I did leave a message because I was upset, but I’m really okay...”

• “Is it really nothing?”

“Yes. It’s nothing...”

• “That’s not like you. You wouldn’t call or leave a message if it were really nothing and something you could get over quickly.”

Ye-seo’s lips parted in a daze. Something had just gently touched her heart, and she felt a lump in her throat.

• “I’m coming right now. Where are you?”

“Oh, um, I was just about to go into... the convenience store in front of my house.”

• “The one at the community center intersection? I’ll be right there.”

“Se-nior!”

Her throat was choked up, but she urgently called out to him before the call ended.

“But aren’t you busy? You said you wouldn’t even have time to sleep until January 2nd...”

• “It’s fine.”

For the first time, a faint hint of a smile was in his voice, which had been dry the whole time.

• “There are still five days left. When it comes down to it, I always find a way. I always have.”

He ended the call, telling her to go inside quickly since it was late and cold. Ye-seo barely held back her tears and headed toward the convenience store across the street.

She couldn’t believe that Han Joo-hyuk was coming. She felt like she had confirmed once again that her feelings were not one-sided. Her heart felt so full it was about to burst.