#61: Self

◎Flowers bloom in due time, but I must traverse the world.◎

“Have you thought it through?”

Yu Yanqing asked Fu Jiaxi three times.

Each time, she answered with unwavering determination.

“Trading isn’t as easy as you think to make money,” Yu Yanqing said. “It can indeed bring you considerable rewards, but before your vision is realized, there’s a good chance you’ll fail halfway.”

Fu Jiaxi smiled and replied, “That’s why I’ve chosen to learn from you—not just trading, but the entire framework and system: planning, strategies, risk control, and evaluation.”

Yu Yanqing: “What you do at Bai Feng already includes these aspects.”

“But only within Bai Feng,” Fu Jiaxi said. “I want to explore a broader horizon.”

“Isn’t Bai Feng broad enough?” Yu Yanqing chuckled. “Your ex-husband would feel deeply hurt if he heard this.”

Fu Jiaxi sobered her smile and spoke earnestly, “That’s why I’m expressing my intentions to you—your response matters a great deal. If you’re willing to hire me, I will not disappoint you. If your stance is ambiguous and you haven’t decided yet, I can wait for three days. After that, I need a clear answer. Regardless of what happens, I hope your feedback to me will be one hundred percent certain.”

Her gaze was sincere and serious.

Her clear self-awareness and focus made the woman before him incredibly compelling.

Like a seed, she knew when to break through the soil, sprout, and grow new leaves, following her own growth path. Everyone expected her to blossom into a rare flower, but instead, she rolled away from fertile ground into a muddy corner, facing storms, braving snow, and striving upward with every spring breeze, growing wildly and tenaciously.

Yu Yanqing did not disappoint her.

He said, “Come, and I will teach you.”

Liu Yun was beside himself with frustration, having taken blood pressure medication for several days after being angered by Fu Jiaxi.

“What can I say? Do you think this is appropriate?”

“It’s not entirely appropriate,” Fu Jiaxi replied with a smile. “But whether it’s a few days earlier or later, does it really make much difference, Leader Liu?”

“You’re just leaving behind a mess!” Unable to vent his frustration, Liu Yun lightly tapped the desk with a stack of documents.

“The team led by Xiaoyang is more than capable of handling things. They are steady and meticulous, and they will only improve over time. Leader Liu, you can rest assured while sitting comfortably at the head of the trading department.” Fu Jiaxi stood straight, smiling calmly, always composed.

Liu Yun realized her resolve was unshakable and sighed, resorting to an emotional appeal.

“The group’s hedging business was built by you and me, but we both know whose support gave us the confidence to stretch our legs fully. You’re leaving so suddenly—isn’t that too abrupt emotionally?”

Fu Jiaxi nodded agreeably, tilting her head slightly and smiling. “My arrival was sudden too, so it’s like bookending things—beginning and end align neatly.”

Liu Yun laughed bitterly, “You’ve mastered the art of using idioms.”

Neither soft nor hard tactics worked; the die had been cast, no regrets. ↓

Fu Jiaxi’s resignation application on OA remained unapproved for days, but after this conversation, Liu Yun was the first to approve it.

The news of her resignation spread vividly throughout the company.

Yue Jincheng never took back what he’d let go. No matter how hard she tried to approach him, it didn’t work.

Rumors circulated that he gave her a sum of money and reached an agreement.

Vaguely, whispers suggested a close relationship between her and Yu Yanqing.

Opinions varied, but the conclusion was unanimous—

President and wife, BE.

Yue Jincheng reappeared five days later.

He flew to the U.S. to attend a corporate annual event, and after the exhausting journey, he appeared weary and gloomy. When Fu Jiaxi entered the office, he sat upright behind his desk, signing accumulated documents.

Without looking up, his voice calm as if discussing routine work, Yue Jincheng said, “Over the next five years, Bai Feng’s infrastructure projects will increase significantly. The procurement of raw materials will rise, exposing higher risks. The board has approved the establishment of a new trading company, which will not be limited to Bai Feng’s hedging operations.”

Fu Jiaxi frowned. “Establish a new company? The current trading department can still handle the workload.”

“Bai Feng will thrive, and it’s always wise to plan ahead.”

Fu Jiaxi said, “If that’s the case, have you considered acquisitions? There are several futures companies in Shenzhen and Guangzhou with solid qualifications and compliance records. During market research with Leader Liu, we summarized this area, though not comprehensively. If needed, I suggest thorough investigative research.”

Yue Jincheng sat immovable like a rock, his fingers pressing the pen until they turned white.

For over ten seconds, the air felt as thick as hardened mud.

Slowly lifting his head, his gaze shattered like porcelain, his tone still calm. “We won’t acquire other companies because they’re in Shenzhen and Guangzhou, too far from Jincheng. I can’t bear to have you so far away.”

Fu Jiaxi paused, then asked, “So, is this why you didn’t approve my resignation?”

Yue Jincheng vented, pounding the desk lightly, unable to suppress his pent-up frustration. “You just decide to resign without consulting me? Even as an ordinary friend, don’t I deserve advance notice? Fu Jiaxi, what do you think of me? The father of your child? A dispensable lover? Or just a bed partner to ease your loneliness? A tool?”

Fu Jiaxi furrowed her brows even deeper. “Is that really how you see me? In the end, these words reflect your inner desires because I didn’t meet your expectations or follow the trajectory you set. Yue Jincheng, while you question me, take a moment to face your own heart. Am I wrong?”

Yue Jincheng seethed, half because of her abrupt departure and half out of anger and frustration.

“Do you care whether I understand? What you want is a definitive answer to validate your sharp wisdom. But aren’t you also manipulating and punishing me?”

Yue Jincheng’s eyes reddened with emotion. “Fu Jiaxi, I am your lover. And you? Do you really see me as just your boss? A contractual partner bound by mutual interests? What exactly do you see me as?!”

Fu Jiaxi didn’t flinch. “What I see you as has nothing to do with my decision to leave. Do you think staying by your side day and night proves my love for you?”

“Yes!”

“Yue Jincheng, if I truly loved you, even if I were at the ends of the earth, I would still be by your side. But if I didn’t love you, even if you tied me up or imprisoned me, it wouldn’t make any difference.” Fu Jiaxi retorted coldly. “President Yue has experienced this before—you’re welcome to try again.”

Bringing up the unpleasant memories of the past, the atmosphere felt like fragile tiles ready to shatter. After the piercing silence, only cold emptiness remained.

Back then, their arguments were intense, their relationship teetering precariously like a tower about to collapse.

It was during that same argument that Fu Jiaxi, disheartened, told him, “I can’t live another day like this.”

This was a hurdle in Yue Jincheng’s heart—or perhaps, a deep-seated fear.

He didn’t blame Fu Jiaxi but resented himself.

Sometimes, he dreamed of the suffocating pressure of diving underwater, waking up gasping for breath. Beyond the long, sleepless nights and the cold sweat on his forehead, he had nothing left.

This struck at the gray areas neither of them wanted to confront.

Fu Jiaxi fell silent for a moment.

After calming down, she spoke evenly, “I intended to discuss this with you, but recently, so many things happened that I was overwhelmed and still deliberating. I hadn’t fully made up my mind.”

In her wavering, she repeatedly affirmed herself, then overturned those thoughts, piecing together a future path that was realistic, reasonable, and true to her heart.

She delved into her own heart while balancing the present. Staying complacent was, in fact, the most cost-effective choice. Just as she was about to give in, her trip to Guangzhou and Shanghai opened her eyes to wider horizons, allowing her to breathe fresher air from a better platform.

The view from the top of the pyramid was indeed dazzling and bright.

Later, Yue Yunzong colluded with overseas capital and took a reckless gamble. After this battle, aside from winning, she discovered that she thoroughly enjoyed the sensation of clashing and battling—it was exhilarating, like ascending to the clouds.

This time, she chose herself.

Yue Jincheng asked, “So, making this decision was instantaneous for you? You didn’t even have time to tell me?”

Fu Jiaxi softened her tone slightly. “Why are you obsessing over this question? For all those years before, I wasn’t working at Bai Feng either. Isn’t your sudden change in attitude a bit too abrupt?”

Her subtly rising intonation and relaxed voice were already clear signals of an attempt to ease tensions and extend an olive branch.

Yue Jincheng quieted down, his fiery gaze gradually cooling as if settling dust, revealing his true emotions.

He asked in a low voice, “After you leave Bai Feng, you’re going with Yu Yanqing, right?”

In that instant, Fu Jiaxi understood the crux of all his concerns.

A flicker of irritation appeared between her brows, and she countered bluntly, “If I were leaving for another company, you wouldn’t be acting this way, would you?”

Yue Jincheng momentarily lost control. “If you don’t want to stay at Bai Feng, I can arrange for you to go somewhere better! Why are you following Yu Yanqing?!”

Fu Jiaxi: “Yes, there might be better people out there, but I believe his professional mindset, cognition, and work style are the most suitable for me at this stage. Yue Jincheng, what’s making you angry—my so-called abrupt departure or the dark desires lurking in your heart?”

Yue Jincheng clenched his fists so tightly that his neatly trimmed nails dug into his palms, turning them pale.

His voice grew louder, the atmosphere dropping to freezing point. Outside the office, the administrative assistants and others dared not make a sound, their hearts heavy with gloom.

Each moment of silence pushed them closer to the edge of a towering cliff.

Yue Jincheng turned around and pressed a switch.

Behind him, the curtains slowly opened, light flooding in violently, stinging her eyes until they ached.

“The construction area you see out there—half of it is nearing completion. It’s Bai Feng’s latest research center building, set to be operational next year. It will carry Bai Feng’s ten-year strategic goals and achieve a qualitative leap forward. As for the other half, I’ve never mentioned it to anyone. Every aspect of the design and functionality was personally supervised by me. That will be Bai Feng’s trading center, where all the group’s business operations will eventually consolidate under unified management.”

For years, Yue Yunzong had monopolized operational control, forcing Yue Jincheng to remain low-key and pretend ignorance to many matters. Now that the former had been taken down, he could finally act freely.

Yue Jincheng’s gaze bore into her, giving her no room to retreat. “Isn’t everything I’m offering you enough? Do you really have to seek self-fulfillment elsewhere?”

Fu Jiaxi paused briefly before responding, “Whether I stay or leave, it won’t hinder the realization of your grand ambitions. If you want to discuss business with me, fine. But let me remind President Yue of something: when I first joined Bai Feng, we reached an agreement—you wouldn’t interfere with my decisions, and vice versa. Moreover, during that hotpot dinner, I agreed to act as a stepping stone in the power struggle between you and Yue Yunzong. In return, you promised to fulfill one condition of mine once it was done.”

Yue Jincheng’s head throbbed painfully at her calm, rational response, as though an enduring fire had burned inside him, leaving only desolate ashes behind.

He asked, word by deliberate word, “So, this is your condition—right here, right now?”

Back then, amidst the lively steam of the hotpot restaurant, her cheeks flushed with a faint blush, yet her eyes remained crystal clear.

She was the person who understood him best.

She knew what he wanted, and she was willing to help. Once the matter was settled, all she asked for was the fulfillment of one condition.

Yue Jincheng had asked her back then what it was.

Fu Jiaxi replied, “I’ll tell you later.”

Yue Jincheng agreed, promising its validity forever.

At this point, refusing to honor it would only make him appear untrustworthy.

Yue Jincheng belatedly realized that this girl had set a clever, sweet trap for him long ago—he had no way out.

The pent-up anger and frustration in his chest threatened to explode. With a wave of his hand, he swept all the documents off his desk, sending them crashing to the floor. His voice rasped with raw emotion—

“Fu Jiaxi, you reject everything I give you. EVERYTHING!!”

Fu Jiaxi didn’t know why they had ended up in such an adversarial situation.

But she refused to yield, standing firm without arrogance or subservience. “Do I have to accept everything you offer? From the day you started pursuing me, you should’ve known that I, Fu Jiaxi, am not that kind of woman.”

As her words hung in the air, a faint flush rose in her eyes.

Memories of their shared past—the storms weathered together—flashed through her mind like frames of a movie playing in reverse.

Yue Jincheng knew his words had been misplaced, but stuck as they were, this wasn’t the time to resolve things.

Before leaving, Fu Jiaxi delivered her final, resolute statement: “Whether you approve or not, I’m leaving. If it comes to lawsuits or paying breach-of-contract penalties, I won’t hold back on anything owed to you.”

Long after she left, Yue Jincheng sat motionless, as lifeless as a tree in the depths of winter. The cigarette smoldering between his fingers was like a leaf trembling on a dead branch, adding nothing but emptiness to the silence.

________________________________________

This winter, snow fell repeatedly in Jin City, rushing to claim its dominance over the season.

Elementary schools and kindergartens dismissed early for winter break to ensure student safety.

Yue Jia, who would turn six in a year, was enjoying his last winter vacation before starting elementary school.

Yue Mingxin, an avid skier, decided to bring Yue Jia along this time. Since the child was young, they opted for Hemu instead of going abroad.

Fu Jiaxi was initially uneasy, worried about disturbing her fun.

Yue Mingxin hesitated, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment, and emphasized countless times that she wouldn’t be a bother.

Fu Jiaxi noticed something was up and pressed her repeatedly until Yue Mingxin finally whispered, “I mustered the courage to ask Dr. Gu out. I didn’t expect him to agree.”

“Wow!”

“Oh, stop with the ‘wow,’ Jiaxi!” Yue Mingxin pouted, feeling shy. “Please let Jia come with me. He talks so much that there’s no chance of awkward silences.”

Fu Jiaxi chuckled at her contrast in behavior. “Alright, alright.”

With her worries eased, Yue Mingxin cupped her face and poured out her thoughts nonstop to Fu Jiaxi.

“He used to be so aloof. Does agreeing to this mean he likes me a little?”

“Oh no, how could Dr. Gu possibly like me? I heard his first love was the pure, innocent type.”

Liking someone means oscillating between self-assurance and doubt, savoring the bubbling sweetness of budding affection.

While packing her suitcase for a business trip, Fu Jiaxi smiled and asked, “So, what type are you?”

“Me?” Yue Mingxin crossed her legs, her fair, slender calves bouncing rhythmically. “I’m a radiant beauty.”

Fu Jiaxi laughed genuinely and offered sincere advice. “Around Dr. Gu, you don’t need to hold back or pretend to be a lady. Just be yourself. I think he’s already quietly attracted to the real you.”

Yue Mingxin gasped, covering her mouth in shock. After staring blankly for half a minute, she let out a piercing scream that echoed through the room.

Fu Jiaxi was leaving on a business trip the next day, but Yue Mingxin insisted on staying overnight, promising to drive her to the airport early in the morning.

As a result, Fu Jiaxi spent the entire night listening to the romantic musings of a teenage heart.

The next morning, she stepped out with dark circles under her eyes. “I still have to negotiate contract terms with a client at noon. If anything goes wrong, I’m holding you responsible.”

Yue Mingxin suddenly asked, “Jiaxi, will you come home for Lunar New Year this year?”

Fu Jiaxi smiled faintly. “My work progress has been lagging lately, so I’m not sure if I’ll have time.”

Yue Mingxin spoke softly, “What about Grandma? Will you visit her to wish her a happy new year?”

“As long as I finish my work and have time, of course I will,” Fu Jiaxi replied. “If I’m out of town, I’ll call her.”

Yue Mingxin murmured a soft “Oh” and, gathering her courage, asked, “And… oh, never mind.”

Fu Jiaxi didn’t press further but smiled knowingly. “Thank you for your efforts. Have fun in Hemu.”

“Mm-hmm!” Yue Mingxin remembered something and added, “Oh, by the way, Jiaxi, I grabbed a book from your vanity table when I left. I’ll return it once I’m done reading.”

Fu Jiaxi waved goodbye. “Alright.”

________________________________________

This year’s family reunion dinner at the Yue household was perhaps the least united in years.

The dishes were as lavish as ever, and relatives gathered joyfully. With new additions to the family among cousins, the scene seemed livelier than ever.

However, Yue Puhui’s health continued to decline. Now confined to a wheelchair, his aged face and cloudy, vacant eyes no longer held any trace of vitality.

Everyone flocked around him, feeding him and tending to his needs with displays of filial piety.

Auntie, ever the dramatist, pretended to wipe away tears. “Yunzong is busy in Province H and can’t make it back, and Jia isn’t visiting Grandpa either. It’s the Lunar New Year, and we can’t even gather everyone for one meal. What a pity.”

Several elders chimed in, each adding their own lament, thickening the syrupy sentimentality of familial bonds.

Who they were speaking to was clear enough.

Yue Jincheng’s cold gaze swept across the room, his tone jarringly out of sync with the festive atmosphere. “An incomplete reunion isn’t a first in this family. Where does everyone’s newfound regret come from?”

In an instant, no one dared to retort.

From a young age, Yue Jincheng had been ostracized by the family, abandoned abroad by his biological father. During his absence, had any of these people ever expressed regret or sympathy?

Even when putting on a show, some semblance of conscience was expected.

Given Yue Jincheng’s current status, he didn’t need to stoop to addressing such petty tactics.

On the most important day for family unity in the year…

If he couldn’t have it his way, then no one would enjoy themselves.

In the courtyard, Yue Mingxin played carefree with the younger generation.

Finding the noise unbearable, Yue Jincheng retreated to a side room for peace and quiet.

On a low sofa lay Yue Mingxin’s casually discarded bag and scarf—a brown-and-white LV piece made of fine cashmere, understated yet luxurious. Beneath it peeked the corner of a book, its crimson cover eye-catching.

Yue Jincheng picked it up—it was a travel diary.

Judging by the photo on the cover, it was Edinburgh.

That Yue Mingxin would take an interest in such a melancholic, solitary city steeped in fatalism was surprising to him.

Flipping it open, he happened upon the page marked by a bookmark.

The bookmark was narrow and edged with gold foil, delicate and refined.

He picked it up and turned it over, only to freeze in place.

On the pale pastel paper was handwriting unmistakably familiar to him—her elegant, small script:

[After all these years of effort, I didn’t just want to grow into a flower.]

Flowers bloom in due time.

But I must traverse the world.