CXD - 32

Yuan Ce sighed deeply, closing his eyes briefly. When he reopened them, he found that the drunken fool hadn’t listened to a word he said. Instead, she was sprawled on him, her hazy, intoxicated eyes slowly tracing over his brows, his eyes, his nose, and his lips.

Just looking wasn’t enough. As she stared, she seemed incredulous, parting her lips slightly. Dazed, she raised an index finger, gently pressing it to the center of his brow, then slowly traced down along the bridge of his nose.

“What are you doing?” Yuan Ce frowned, gripping her index finger.

“I’m looking at you—” Jiang Zhiyi set the wine jug down with her free hand, propped her cheek up on his shoulder, tilted her head, and asked in astonishment, “You really look so much like him. Are you General Ce’s twin brother?”

“…”

“Such a coincidence that you two look so alike… Did Elder Sister Baojia specially find you to heal my broken heart?”

“…”

“What about earlier—wasn’t that healing enough?” Yuan Ce coldly glanced at her.

“They’re not as similar to him as you are…” Jiang Zhiyi tilted her head, studying him. After a moment, she sighed. “But no matter how much you resemble him, you’re still not him…”

Yuan Ce’s eyelashes flickered, and his grip on her index finger loosened slightly.

“Forget it, you don’t need to go to such lengths to deceive me,” Jiang Zhiyi lamented, shaking her head regretfully. “The person I love isn’t just General Ce’s appearance—it’s his soul, his heart… There’s only one General Ce in this world. Even if you look exactly like him, I wouldn’t fall for a substitute…”

Yuan Ce’s expression turned cold. “Then why don’t you get off me, your substitute?”

“Why are you being so harsh? Who even cares about you…” Jiang Zhiyi snorted, raising her chin defiantly. She glanced at him, shifted uncomfortably, and complained, “You’re holding me so tightly, how am I supposed to get up…”

Yuan Ce’s eyelid twitched, and the arm around her waist suddenly loosened.

Jiang Zhiyi huffed, pushing against his shoulder and deftly stepping over him to stand up.

“Sss—” Yuan Ce closed his eyes, pressing a fist lightly against his forehead to steady himself. When the fluttering hem of her dress swept past his face, he finally opened his eyes.

Jiang Zhiyi bent down, hooking the wine jug with her pinky finger, and walked away without a backward glance. She swayed unsteadily as she climbed the steps back to the high platform, leaning against the low desk, tilting the jug, and taking a long sip.

The crisp liquid flowed down her throat, and a contented sigh echoed through the spacious warm pavilion.

Just as she was thoroughly enjoying herself, Yuan Ce stood up and stepped forward, snatching the wine jug from her hand.

“What are you doing!” Jiang Zhiyi exclaimed in shock, reaching out to grab it back.

Yuan Ce moved the jug behind his back, shielding it from her grasp.

After several failed attempts to retrieve it, Jiang Zhiyi’s brows drooped, and she kicked her legs petulantly. “You won’t let me listen to music, watch performances, or even drink wine… Why is my life so miserable!”

Yuan Ce remained unmoved, looking down at her from above.

Seeing that he showed no signs of relenting, Jiang Zhiyi buried her head in her knees, pouting silently.

“Go to sleep already—” Yuan Ce looked down at the top of her head, when suddenly he heard a familiar sob.

…She could cry over this?

Yuan Ce’s hand stiffened. Seeing her break into genuine sobs, he hesitated for a moment before frowning and extending the jug toward her. “One last sip.”

“No, I don’t want it!” Jiang Zhiyi pushed the jug away angrily, resting her head on her knees. Tears fell like pearls, one after another. “Anyway, General Ce doesn’t want me anymore…”

“…”

She could make a sentence out of anything.

Yuan Ce: “…What does him wanting or not wanting you have to do with this?”

“It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter,” Jiang Zhiyi rubbed her knees, consoling herself. “It’s not the first time I’ve been abandoned…”

“…”

Yuan Ce sat cross-legged in front of her, setting the jug down firmly. “So—before General Ce, were there other brothers?”

“Brothers? I don’t have any brothers. My parents only had me…”

“You’re quite clever with your answers,” Yuan Ce sneered. “Then who abandoned you?”

Jiang Zhiyi lowered her eyes, her voice muffled and heavy. “It was my father and mother…”

Yuan Ce’s smile vanished.

“…What? You mean you don’t know who my father is?” Jiang Zhiyi looked up at his astonished face, tilting her head. “My father is the famous Duke Ning!”

Yuan Ce nodded. “I know.”

“No, you don’t…” Jiang Zhiyi shook her head against her knees, lost in thought. “When I was little, my father loved me so much. He even named me. On the day I was born, the first time he saw me, I was wrapped in a soft swaddling cloth with a ribbon tied into a butterfly-shaped knot. It looked like a tiny garment, so he named me Zhiyi…”

“And then?”

“And then…” Jiang Zhiyi’s head felt heavy, and she shook it to clear her thoughts. “When I was six, my father had to follow Emperor Bo to Hedong. I didn’t want him to go, so I asked how long he’d be gone. He said he’d return by the New Year and bring me lots of delicious food and toys. He told me to wait for him at home…”

“So I waited every day, counting the days on my fingers. But before the New Year arrived, one day, my mother suddenly told me that Father had returned… I ran out happily, but all I saw was my father’s coffin…”

Yuan Ce’s hand tightened on his knee, his gaze fixed on her eyes, which had suddenly dimmed.

“My mother said that my father was a great hero, but being a hero meant he couldn’t be my father anymore…” Jiang Zhiyi raised her head, looking at him earnestly. “Don’t you think my father was unfair? What difference does it make who sits on the throne? Why did he choose to be someone else’s hero instead of my father?”

Before Yuan Ce could respond, Jiang Zhiyi hugged her knees again, lowering her head and speaking in a subdued tone. “I hate, hate those people who fight for the throne. If they didn’t fight, there wouldn’t need to be any heroes…”

Yuan Ce lowered his eyelids, glancing at the thin calluses on his fingertips.

“The day my father was buried, I cried and cried, but my mother didn’t shed a single tear. I asked her why she wasn’t sad, and she said she didn’t know either… But after my father’s burial, every night I would hear my mother playing the ocarina. She said the sound could summon the spirits of the departed. Every night, she claimed she could see Father. I tried to learn from her, but no matter how hard I blew, I couldn’t see him…”

“I thought it was because I wasn’t good enough, so I practiced every day. By the time the New Year came, it was so lively outside, but I remembered that Father hadn’t kept his promise. Looking at the feast laid out for the New Year, I couldn’t eat a single bite… But my mother ate a full bowl. Afterward, she said she was tired and wanted to rest, telling me to finish my meal…”

“I sat alone in the dining hall, watching the maids reheat the dishes over and over again. I don’t know what time it was, but eventually, I got a little hungry and ate a dumpling. Just then, an old maid rushed in to tell me that my mother had poisoned herself…”

Yuan Ce abruptly raised his eyes.

But the person across from him spoke as if recounting a distant, calm event, showing none of the grief Yuan Ce had expected.

“When I saw my mother lying there peacefully, I suddenly understood why she hadn’t been sad the day my father was buried. Somehow, I didn’t feel sad either. At her funeral, everyone said how pitiful I was, but I didn’t shed a single tear…”

Jiang Zhiyi paused here, looking up to see Yuan Ce’s furrowed brows. She frowned unhappily at him. “Why are you looking at me like everyone else? I’m not pitiful. I lost my father and mother, but I became a princess! The more they pity me, the more I insist on eating the best food, wearing the finest clothes, and using the best things, making them all respect and pamper me… Look, now no one thinks I’m pitiful anymore!”

“But…if my father and mother came back, I wouldn’t want to be a princess anymore…” Jiang Zhiyi drifted off into a hypothetical scenario, nodding to herself. Soon, she sighed again. “But why did my father choose Emperor Bo instead of me? Why did my mother choose my father instead of me? Why am I always the one being abandoned…”

Yuan Ce raised his hand—

“I thought General Ce would choose me…”

Jiang Zhiyi hiccupped softly. “Now it seems General Ce doesn’t want me anymore…”

Yuan Ce’s hand, which had been about to land on her head, froze mid-air. Slowly, his fingers curled into a fist, which he withdrew.

After talking for so long, Jiang Zhiyi seemed exhausted. Sighing deeply, she rested her head on her arm and slowly closed her eyes.

Soon, the warm, quiet pavilion filled with the sound of her deep, rhythmic breathing.

Yuan Ce sat cross-legged there, gazing silently at the sleeping figure before him. Then, he averted his eyes, picked up the wine jug beside him, and drained the remaining liquid in one gulp.

The sharp taste burned his throat. Yuan Ce furrowed his brow, looking at the small, curled-up figure in front of him.

“He hasn’t abandoned you.”

“The one who abandoned you is just a—a bastard who has nothing to do with you.”

After finishing her bath and grooming, Baojia thought to check on the warm pavilion. Just then, she saw Yuan Ce lifting the sleeping person from the high platform into his arms.

Yuan Ce descended the steps silently, giving Baojia a questioning glance.

Cui Mei immediately gestured for him to follow, indicating that the bedroom was in that direction.

Yuan Ce carried the person out, following Cui Mei’s footsteps.

As they exited the pavilion, a sudden draft swept through the corridor.

Cui Mei started, remembering something just as she turned her head. She saw Yuan Ce shift his body, pulling the cloak tighter around the person in his arms.

Baojia smiled softly and followed behind.

They passed through the corridors and entered the bedroom. Yuan Ce carefully laid the person down on the bed, turned to Baojia, and whispered, “I’m not suitable for helping with grooming. Please ask one of the princess’s maids.”

Baojia signaled to Cui Mei, who began to help Jiang Zhiyi remove her outer garments.

Yuan Ce turned his head away, standing with his back to the scene.

On the bed, Jiang Zhiyi stirred awake as she was moved. Opening her eyes groggily, she turned her head and blinked at Baojia. “Elder Sister?”

Baojia smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking down at her. “Why is it that you slept so soundly in General Ce’s arms, but woke up the moment Cui Mei came to attend to you?”

“…Did General Ce come?” Jiang Zhiyi looked around in confusion.

Yuan Ce’s figure was blocked by the servant and mistress in front of her.

He didn’t turn around either.

“You’re lying to me. He didn’t come…” Jiang Zhiyi pouted, sniffing. “He hasn’t talked to me for days. He’s already abandoned me…”

“Nonsense,” Baojia chuckled softly, turning to look at the rigid, silent figure. “Tonight, I checked for you. He—he can’t abandon you anymore.”