#8: Heart

The heat was stifling. Just standing outside for a few minutes had made a thin layer of sweat form on Shen Yihuan’s back.

Shen Yihuan stood with her head bowed at the convenience store counter, watching Lu Zhou take two bottles of mineral water from the cooler. He turned his head and asked, “Do you need anything else?”

“Huh?” She was startled, then realized one bottle was for her. She softly said, “I’ll buy my own.”

Lu Zhou assumed she didn’t need anything else and took a banknote from his wallet, handing it over. “Together.”

“Wait, wait a minute.” Shen Yihuan ran to grab a box of instant noodles and put it on the counter, then quickly lowered her head in a flurry, staring at the tip of her shoes.

The cashier kept sneaking glances at Lu Zhou, making Shen Yihuan inwardly scoff, feeling a little displeased.

Because of Lu Zhou’s inexplicably blunt words just now, she didn’t quite dare to provoke him, and didn’t know what to say, so she remained silent. She felt a bit intimidated, yet contradictorily, a sense of security arose.

The boy had grown into a man.

No longer as thin as before, his presence alone exuded an unstated power. His contours were firm and distinct, hopelessly sexy.

Lu Zhou frowned at the box of instant noodles but ultimately said nothing.

“Do you want the instant noodles opened now?” the cashier asked.

“Yes.”

While waiting for the hot water, Shen Yihuan lightly tapped the ground with her toes, speaking to the person beside her. “I still haven’t paid you back the forty-one yuan from last time.”

Lu Zhou unscrewed a bottle of mineral water and placed it in front of her.

“No need to pay me back.”

“Oh...” Shen Yihuan held the water bottle with both hands, lowering her head again.

Too bad, I could have added him on WeChat.

The cashier quickly brought over the instant noodles with hot water, the fork stuck in the opening.

Shen Yihuan thanked her and went to the long table by the convenience store entrance. She held the cup of noodles with both hands. The bottle of mineral water had been forgotten at the counter. Lu Zhou brought it over for her and stood beside her, not leaving.

Shen Yihuan turned her head, looking up at him.

“Do you... want to sit for a while too?”

As soon as she said it, she felt incredibly awkward. How could the person who was so wary of her touching him just now be willing to sit next to her, especially when they had nothing to talk about?

The next second, Lu Zhou pulled out the chair beside her and sat down.

“You’re not happy?” he asked.

“Huh?” She was startled, licked her lips, bewildered.

Lu Zhou lowered his gaze, his expression very faint, repeating, “You haven’t been very happy lately?”

His collar was still open, his bone structure distinctly defined. The shadow it cast was like a secret allure. Shen Yihuan stared uncontrollably for a while until a bead of water from the chilled mineral water bottle dripped onto the back of her hand, jolting her back to reality.

“I’m alright.”

She really was alright. She was used to it.

But it was different for Lu Zhou. His memory of Shen Yihuan was still stuck in her spoiled and unruly youth. He couldn’t articulate how he felt when he saw her at her doorstep last time.

The girl’s eyes were empty, unfocused. Even when that man was speaking flirty words to her, Shen Yihuan merely showed a hint of impatience, not even anger, a weariness seeping from her bones.

Lu Zhou looked at her, frowning slightly.

Shen Yihuan tore open the lid and used her fork to stir the noodles.

“I only found out about your father later.”

Her hand holding the fork paused. “Ah, that was over three years ago.”

“What were you doing at the hospital last time?” he asked again.

“A friend had alcohol poisoning,” she said, then remembered that Lu Zhou used to hate her drinking, so she immediately fell silent, stealing a glance at him from the corner of her eye.

The man slowly closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, it was with a precarious calm.

Shen Yihuan slurped some noodles, chewed twice, and swallowed, tentatively asking, “That bandage on your back...”

“Got injured before.”

Shen Yihuan frowned, her fingers, pressed against the cup, curled slightly. Her heart felt as if it had been squeezed. “Do you get injured often there?”

“It’s alright.”

Then, silence again.

Shen Yihuan wasn’t accustomed to quiet, but Lu Zhou himself was a quiet person.

She silently finished a cup of noodles. Lu Zhou showed no signs of leaving. Shen Yihuan made conversation. “Do you know about the school anniversary in a few days?”

“I know.”

“...Are you going?”

“Mm.”

Shen Yihuan lifted the cup of noodles, wanting to drink the broth, but Lu Zhou’s hand came across, blocking it. His five fingers spread, covering the rim of the bowl. Shen Yihuan’s lips almost touched the back of his hand.

Startled, her grip loosened. Thankfully, Lu Zhou quickly caught it before it spilled.

He dealt with the noodle soup, throwing it into the trash can by their feet, then explained, “That soup isn’t healthy.”

Shen Yihuan thought, You probably wanted to say my instant noodles aren’t healthy from the start. But their current relationship was too awkward for her to say it aloud.

Her phone in her pocket suddenly vibrated. Shen Yihuan’s hands were still stained with soup.

Lu Zhou tore off a tissue and handed it to her.

Shen Yihuan quickly wiped her hands, took out her phone, and was startled when she saw Gu Minghui’s name.

Only then did she realize what she had left the house for.

Gu Minghui was a high school classmate, and besides Qiu Ruru, he was her only other good friend. He had just returned from studying abroad, and they had just made plans to hang out.

Qiu Ruru was already in the private room. Shen Yihuan had gone down to pick him up, waiting and waiting, but he didn’t arrive.

Now...

She couldn’t believe she had completely forgotten about it, sitting here with Lu Zhou, and even finishing a cup of instant noodles...

She answered the phone.

“Student Shen Yihuan, what are you doing?” a teasing voice came from the other end.

She immediately reacted, subconsciously looking out the window, and sure enough, saw Gu Minghui across the road.

Sitting in the back seat of a taxi, Gu Minghui rested his head on the back of his hand, a lazy, rogue smile on his face. His hair was a bit messy from the wind. His white shirt had three buttons undone, revealing a large expanse of his collarbone. Sunlight glinted off a small square pendant hanging around his neck.

“Damn.”

Too flashy.

Lu Zhou heard Shen Yihuan’s murmur and followed her gaze to the man outside. His expression immediately darkened.

Gu Minghui’s casual smile vanished the moment he recognized the man beside Shen Yihuan as Lu Zhou. He spoke into the phone, “Shen Yihuan, has a donkey kicked your brain?”

Shen Yihuan was afraid that the voice from her phone would travel through the current to Lu Zhou’s ears. Without time to say anything, she immediately hung up.

Lu Zhou thoughtfully stood up. “I’m leaving.”

Shen Yihuan froze.

An indescribable emotion welled up in her heart.

Shen Yihuan, has a donkey really kicked your brain? Didn’t you used to hate him controlling you the most? Now what are you being so dramatic for?

“Here,” he handed her an umbrella.

She looked up at Lu Zhou, sniffing. “What?”

He lowered his gaze, looking into her eyes, and sighed. “It’s raining.”

Only then did Shen Yihuan realize that a light rain had started at some point outside. The concrete road had already turned from light gray to mottled black.

“...Thank you,” she whispered.

Then her pupils unconsciously dilated as she watched Lu Zhou lean closer, gripping her chin. His thumb rubbed it, lifting it slightly.

“Shen Yihuan.”

His expression in the convenience store light seemed soft yet firm.

Like a journey over mountains and rivers, through winding and complicated paths.

The empty space in his heart had finally become a lingering illness, giving him no peace.

And he finally let go of that human anomaly that once made him fall.

“I’ve wagged my tail like a lapdog for you for so many years. I’ve had enough.”

“This heart of mine, you don’t want it anymore.”

He pointed to the area of his heart, giving Shen Yihuan an open, honest smile.

“Then give it back to me.”

________________________________________

“You ran into Lu Zhou?” Qiu Ruru asked in surprise, pointing at Gu Minghui. “Why do you, you bastard, get to see Lu Zhou as soon as you get back?! Why don’t I ever run into the class monitor?!”

Gu Minghui threw the camera accessories from his bag into Shen Yihuan’s lap. “Here, what you wanted me to bring.”

Then he pointed back at Qiu Ruru and began to argue, “Are you sick? Just because that kid is good-looking, you’re turning against me? You just got back to the country and you’re already calling me a bastard? What happened to ‘sweetheart’ when you asked me to buy things for you?!”

Qiu Ruru snorted and rolled her eyes. “A woman’s heart is like a needle at the bottom of the ocean, you know?”

“You’re just brainless!” Gu Minghui cursed her.

“Why are you still so annoying after all this time?!” Qiu Ruru grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at him. “What’s wrong with me wanting to see what the class monitor looks like now?! Huh?! What?! Is?! Wrong?!”

“Is Lu Zhou that kid as handsome as me? Can’t you just look at me?” Gu Minghui pointed to his face.

Qiu Ruru widened her eyes, scrutinizing the “sea turtle” who had just returned from abroad. Gu Minghui was indeed good-looking, but he couldn’t compare to Lu Zhou; they were different breeds.

“You, sir, have the looks of a superficial playboy, only good for deceiving naive young girls. The class monitor is completely ascetic; the kind who makes your legs weak just by looking at him.”

“Cherry! You tell him!” Gu Minghui said angrily, pointing at Shen Yihuan.

Since leaving the convenience store, she had been in a dazed state. Lu Zhou’s words as he left were like a blunt knife, cutting into her heart, grinding her soul.

She clearly knew that in their relationship, Lu Zhou was the only one painstakingly nurturing it, striving to maintain it.

He accepted her temper and flaws, willingly and sweetly.

At that time, she really loved to play, childish and ridiculous. In the eyes of other girls, she even had numerous romantic affairs. She knew many people, sneaking out to skip classes and play games with them, while Lu Zhou was in class.

When she got tired of playing, she would return to the classroom, enjoying Lu Zhou’s kindness towards her.

Lu Zhou often got angry about these things, but Shen Yihuan never seriously coaxed him.

She would usually just appease him with a few perfunctory words, kiss the corner of his lips. If he was still angry, Shen Yihuan’s own temper would flare up. The girl knew his weakness, sometimes using the fatal weapon of threatening to break up.

Lu Zhou would then, repeatedly and habitually, desperately suppress his anger to appease her.

It worked every time, and she was even proud of it then.

But he must have been very sad at the time.

“Hmm? What?” she looked at Gu Minghui.

“Me,” Gu Minghui pointed to his face, “and Lu Zhou, who’s more handsome?”

“...” Shen Yihuan twitched the corner of her mouth. “Are you sure you want me to say?”

“...Shut up,” Gu Minghui muttered, poking Shen Yihuan’s head. He intimately slung an arm around her shoulder, like a worried mother. “How did you get involved with him again? Didn’t you break up?”

“This time it’s a real breakup,” she said.

The breakup three years ago was unilaterally initiated by Shen Yihuan. After saying it, she turned off her phone and went abroad, unaware of everything that followed.

However, deep down, she still felt that Lu Zhou would be waiting for her.

Just as he had repeatedly done for five years.

Waiting for her to have had enough fun, for her mood to improve. A wave of her hand, and Lu Zhou would have no choice but to return to her side.

— I’ve wagged my tail like a lapdog for you for so many years. I’ve had enough.

Shen Yihuan remembered Lu Zhou’s words again.

It was only much later, after she returned to the country, that she slowly realized Lu Zhou really wasn’t looking for her anymore. She heard he was directly assigned to Xinjiang in his third year of university.

But the other night, when Lu Zhou lost control in her apartment building stairwell, Shen Yihuan became as spoiled as before, proudly telling him to get lost.

She was calculating and nonchalant.

Step by step, leading Lu Zhou into her trap.

And yet, she never truly treated her beloved prey well.

Until some emotions developed to the point of spoiling, but the turning point couldn’t be found.

The boy’s overflowing love turned into a binding rope, tying both of them.

Gu Minghui, being carefree and simple-minded, said, “Break up, then break up. Our Cherry, with this face, this figure! What kind of guy can’t she get! Besides, what’s so good about Lu Zhou? His job is so unstable, he doesn’t talk, he’s so dull...”

He hadn’t finished speaking when he was suddenly stung by Shen Yihuan’s gaze.

In that single glance, he slowly sat up straight, raising both hands in a gesture of surrender.

Shen Yihuan said, “What’s wrong with him?”

“...”

Shen Yihuan’s phone rang. She pulled it out of her bag. It was an unlabelled number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Yihuan, can you still recognize my voice?” an elderly female voice came from the other end.

A very familiar voice. Shen Yihuan paused, instinctively stood up, and hesitantly said, “Teacher Xu?”

Gu Minghui and Qiu Ruru both stopped their movements after her exclamation, quietly looking at her.

Teacher Xu was their high school homeroom teacher.

A burst of laughter from the other end. “I was looking at the old registration book and found the number you left. Good thing you haven’t changed your phone all these years. Isn’t the school anniversary in a few days? I know you’re knowledgeable in photography, so the school wants to invite you to take some photos.”

Teacher Xu didn’t know Shen Yihuan hadn’t planned to go. Her words made it difficult for Shen Yihuan to refuse.

“Mm, okay,” Shen Yihuan smiled faintly. “What kind of photos does the school want?”

“You can decide that yourself. We’re just asking for your help, so there are no specific requirements.”

After hanging up the phone, Shen Yihuan looked at the two people staring at her, shrugged, and raised one eyebrow. “Go back to school together tomorrow?”

________________________________________

Author’s Note:

Tomorrow is sweetness! Real-life sweetness!

Not flashback sweetness.

________________________________________

A little flashback sweetness:

Their first time was on the last day of the National Day holiday during their first year of university.

Lu Zhou, according to regulations, had to return to his dorm before the lights-out at eleven.

All the way as she walked him back to school, Shen Yihuan complained of leg pain or stomach aches, demanding kisses and hugs, throwing tantrums. She finally heard the lights-out bell when they reached the dorm building.

Eleven o’clock. The dorm building was locked.

Shen Yihuan was startled for a moment, then smugly hooked her arm around Lu Zhou’s neck, pulling his head down.

The streetlights dutifully cast their light on the late summer, early autumn night, falling in fine beams on Lu Zhou’s head.

He was slightly bent, allowing the girl to stand on tiptoes and kiss the corner of his lips.

Shen Yihuan’s voice was filled with mischievous triumph. “What now? You can’t get in. Do you want me to let you stay for the night?”

In the end, Lu Zhou did not let Shen Yihuan take him in. Instead, he took the young girl to a nearby hotel.

The hotel lobby was brightly lit, making all ambiguity impossible to hide. It was then, upon arriving, that Shen Yihuan felt a little guilty.

She stood aside, cautiously watching Lu Zhou at the front desk. He wore a white T-shirt and black pants, clean and neat, with no other emotion on his face. He pushed two ID cards across the counter.

They took the elevator up. Lu Zhou held her hand, walking through the long, quiet hallway.

He swiped the room card, opened the door, turned on the lights, and closed the door.

A king-sized bed room.

“Lu Zhou, tell me yourself, aren’t you an animal?” Shen Yihuan accused first, trying to seize control.

Lu Zhou approached her step by step, pulling her to sit face-to-face on his lap, pressing the back of her head as he kissed her.

His voice was hoarse, “How much longer do you want me to endure?”

That night, he seemed to understand why male mantises were willing to be consumed by female mantises during mating.

Because he was willing too.

To surrender to Shen Yihuan.