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On this night in Beijing, at one o’clock in the morning, the cold front seemed to rise from the belly of the earth.
Ying Jing was wearing a down jacket, and even thermal underwear, but he still felt cold.
In recent days, the smog had been severe, making the streetlights appear dim. Occasionally, a car would speed by, reminding him that the world was alive.
Ying Jing walked all the way, fragments of thoughts swirling in his mind, eventually coalescing into one image—Chu Ning breaking down in tears, hysterical yet helpless.
It was at that moment that Ying Jing suddenly realized, no matter how strong she was, how much of a rational person she appeared to be, in this arena of right and wrong, she couldn’t emerge unscathed.
He seemed to start understanding her.
And began reflecting on himself.
From their acquaintance to partnership, and now to this collapse, Chu Ning was fierce, realistic, overly rational. But she also taught him about dealing with people, handling affairs, and adapting.
And what had he given her?
A party to a contract, countless disturbances and troubles.
And he had the audacity to say he liked her. His life had been smooth sailing, flat and uneventful. He thought liking someone meant they had to like him back.
Ying Jing forced a bitter smile; the wind blew, making his eyes dry and painful, as if sand was scraping his flesh.
He endured the pain but couldn’t extricate himself.
After more than three years of studying in Beijing, he discovered that nights could be so desolate.
On the school side, the engineers and computer experts estimated that the system repair would take time, progressing slowly and uncertainly. Before issuing specific disciplinary opinions, the laboratory was closed, halting all teaching activities and no longer open to any team.
Li Zhoushan, as their advisor, bore undeniable responsibility and didn’t know how many times he had been criticized. Despite his fiery temper, not a trace of anger was directed at these students. Classes continued as usual, neither humble nor arrogant, his attitude very strong.
The campus gossip gradually subsided. Underclassmen who saw Ying Jing on the road would whisper among themselves: “Hey, that’s Ying Jing.”
“Wow! The handsome one!”
“He doesn’t look too bad, not showing any signs of being down.”
“He’s probably pretending, after all, it’s already quite embarrassing.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Pfft, you just think he’s good-looking.”
“Go away!”
Gossip, others’ idle chatter.
If one cared, if one took it to heart, then there’d be no need to live.
A week after the incident, Ying Jing’s self-recovery ability was extremely strong; he had adjusted his mindset. Or, more accurately, there wasn’t much to adjust. From this point on, he truly became idle.
Attending classes, eating meals, occasionally playing basketball, spending evenings in the library reading miscellaneous books, going to bed on time before the dorm lights went out, joking around with roommates—it was lively.
Finally, close your eyes and sleep.
Until the roommates’ snores rose evenly.
This was supposed to be the quietest moment of the day, when Ying Jing felt truly alone.
He opened his eyes, staring blankly at the grayish-white ceiling.
Qi Yu tried to communicate with him, but every time he brushed him off with a few words. Until one time, Zhang Huaiyu came to find him and boldly asked: “Boss, will our project continue?”
Ying Jing had just completed his last exam of the semester. He gathered his papers and pens, head down, actions uninterrupted, saying: “No.”
Silence for a long while.
Ying Jing glanced up, then lowered his head again, tone calm: “I never realized before, you cry quite a bit.”
Zhang Huaiyu initially restrained herself, only daring to whimper softly. Upon hearing this, she let out a loud wail.
Ying Jing remained expressionless, unmoved.
Finally, he handed her a pack of tissues, saying indifferently: “Wipe.”
Zhang Huaiyu didn’t take it, stubbornly asking: “Then all our previous efforts are wasted? Our foundation was so solid, our design framework so complete. Don’t you feel sorry?”
Ying Jing stuffed the last pen into his backpack, saying: “Not sorry.”
Zhang Huaiyu was enraged, “Ying Jing!”
“I don’t want to do it anymore.” He dropped the words and strode towards the door, without a hint of regret.
During the final exam week, the school’s atmosphere was tensest. At this time, the roads were busiest. Ying Jing wore a black down jacket today; perhaps because black is slimming, he looked thinner.
Pedestrians were strung together, occasionally three or four abreast chatting and laughing, blocking the path unknowingly.
“Hey, did you hear? Luo Jia’s team has been recommended by the school to participate in the National Aviation Technology Competition.”
Ying Jing, who had been blocked for a long time, suddenly froze upon hearing the girls’ conversation ahead.
“Wow! Really? Didn’t they say two months ago the spots weren’t confirmed?”
“You know it’s been two months. Back then there was also Ying Jing; his team was outstanding too. It’s normal for the school to hesitate.”
“If it were me, I’d definitely choose Senior Luo Jia, after all, it’s the ace major, and they’ve made achievements.”
“Superficial. If given the condition, blooming everywhere is better than standing out alone.”
“That’s true.” The girls gossiped: “Ying Jing has such a great personal image. If he can win a place, he’ll surely have idol-like qualities!”
“Hahaha, you’re so wicked.”
Laughter drifted away.
Ying Jing stood hands in pockets, seemingly emotionless.
He returned to the dormitory. Two roommates from the south had already packed half their luggage, boxes spread on the floor, stuffing things inside.
Ying Jing walked over to take a look and lend a hand, asking: “Tickets bought?”
“Yeah. Tonight at nine.” The roommate said: “Finally managed to grab a ticket.”
Ying Jing pulled out a few packs of milk tablets from his drawer and stuffed them in his pocket, “Take them for the journey.”
The roommate didn’t refuse, “Alright. Little Jing, come visit Changsha when you have time, I’ll treat you to stinky tofu.”
Ying Jing smiled, “Sure.”
At eight in the evening, the two catching the train left first. Only Qi Yu and Ying Jing remained in the dormitory.
Qi Yu asked: “When are you returning to Xingcheng?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Taking the high-speed rail?”
Ying Jing was distracted, his gaze distant: “Huh? What did you say?”
Qi Yu paused, “Really leaving?”
A double entendre, persistently questioning.
“Yeah, really leaving.” Ying Jing said.
“What about Sister Ning… any news?”
Upon hearing this name, Ying Jing unconsciously clenched his fingers, shaking his head: “No.”
Qi Yu: “What are your plans for next semester?”
Ying Jing: “What else can I do, find a decent company to intern at first.”
“You’re not planning to…”
“No plans.”
Qi Yu’s question wasn’t even fully articulated, Ying Jing already gave an answer.
The atmosphere fell silent. Past heroic ambitions within a week underwent a drastic change, diluted, faded. Passion and ideals seemed to plummet in an instant.
Ying Jing bought a high-speed rail ticket for three o’clock in the afternoon the next day. But in the morning, he received an unexpected call.
The caller introduced himself first, saying he was the executive secretary of Mingyao Innovation, named Jiang Qi, and asked if he had time to meet and discuss further.
Ying Jing then remembered, the other party was likely reaching out regarding the related matters of the laboratory system repair work.
Without hesitation, he directly declined, “Sorry, I may temporarily not need it.”
“Not needed?” Jiang Qi politely asked: “Is it already resolved?”
“No, it’s unnecessary.” Ying Jing said: “Thank you.”
“Why unnecessary?” Another voice emerged from the phone. Low, steady, cutting straight to the point.
Ying Jing recognized it; it was Tang Yao.
Was he listening to the call on the side?
Did Tang Yao instruct the secretary to make this call?
But it was just a brief guess. Ying Jing didn’t dwell on it much.
He remained calm, “President Tang, hello.”
“Why unnecessary?” Tang Yao repeated.
“Because.” Ying Jing paused, found a reason: “Because the school does not allow it, involving C Hang’s core professional points. President Tang, thank you, sorry for troubling you.”
The other end was silent for a few seconds, Tang Yao responded: “Alright. May I ask, your simulation project.”
“Terminated.” Ying Jing didn’t want to say more, “Goodbye, President Tang.”
Soon, this interlude was forgotten.
At two o’clock in the afternoon, he took the subway to the high-speed rail station. Stepping out of the school gate, Ying Jing looked back. So fast, a semester ended just like that. Different from before, this semester he experienced more. Perhaps these words could summarize—
Rushed, unexpected, bizarre, and disheartening.
And the affection for someone, arriving fiercely.
But one-sided affection isn’t called beginning, thus has no ending.
Only now did he understand this truth.
The bus arrived. Ying Jing tightened the straps of his backpack and got on with the crowd.
———
On Wednesday this week, Chu Ning officially stated her position at the company meeting and included the aviation engine virtual construction project on the meeting agenda, democratically and formally deciding the project’s fate through voting.
—Those in support, please raise your hands.
Chu Ning was the first, her slender wrist raised halfway.
She wasn’t fighting alone. In the farthest corner of the meeting room, another delicate hand was raised high.
It was Zhou Qin.
Zhou Qin, who had been working by her side since graduating from university.
Speaking of which, during that Malaysia trip, the two narrowly escaped death together. They were companions who faced life and death together. Her having this intention made Chu Ning both comforted and grateful.
—Those opposed, please raise your hands.
Wang Shan led the way, followed by others, like bamboo shoots after rain, filling the entire meeting room.
The project was thus concluded.
Many things in the world don’t have a good outcome just because of persistence and effort.
This investment failure greatly affected Chu Ning. Though she held most of Ningjing Investment’s decision-making power, investor Wei Qilin, with his shareholding, also possessed veto power. Although he didn’t favor this investment, he didn’t make a strong statement midway, adopting a stance of watching from the sidelines.
These big shots in various industries, when exploring new fields, are also feeling their way across the river. But they have substantial funds, strong backgrounds, flexible social networks, and can withstand one or two failures. And Chu Ning was one of those “one or two times.”
They didn’t easily make decisions, letting the parties involved fight and collide. In the blood, tears, and scars of others, they summed up lessons and adjusted their details to ensure success in the next investment.
In this food chain, Chu Ning was merely a sacrifice at a certain level.
This failure would also lead to a reduction in her decision-making power within the company in the future.
Guan Yu feared she might be emotionally affected, so she specially organized a gathering at Xiao Liu’s bar.
A mix of familiar and unfamiliar faces, the fun knew no bounds. When Chu Ning arrived and saw this scene, she found it unusually headache-inducing.
“Are you here to have fun yourself, or am I just an excuse?”
Guan Yu poked Chu Ning’s cheek with her red nails, “You’re so ungrateful!”
Chu Ning turned her head to avoid it, “Don’t touch me, who knows where your hands have been.”
Guan Yu burst into flirtatious laughter, “Go die!”
The roaring drum beats, agitated musical notes, and the dazed flickering lights indeed allowed one to relax physically and mentally.
Chu Ning grabbed a glass of alcohol, clinked glasses with Guan Yu, and drank it all in one gulp.
Guan Yu beckoned her with a finger, mysteriously saying: “Have fun tonight. I’ve prepared a gift for you.” She finished and tilted her chin to the right.
Chu Ning looked over. In the darkest corner of the sofa, sat a young, handsome man.
Guan Yu hugged her shoulders and whispered in her ear teasingly: “Isn’t he very handsome?”
Man... no, should be called a boy. His features were unclear, but his outline was indeed perfect. He dressed cleanly and neatly, simply in a white shirt and jeans, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, wrists clean, not wearing any extra accessories.
“And he’s only nineteen,” Guan Yu’s voice trailed off seductively: “According to the manager, he’s top-tier. He only agreed to perform yesterday. Cost me five figures, reportedly good stamina, a whole night…”
“You want it, you go use it yourself.” Chu Ning cut off her vulgar remarks, genuinely uninterested.
Guan Yu clicked her tongue, “You’re boring.”
“I am boring.” Chu Ning ordered another glass of alcohol.
“The company people still bothering you? Didn’t they get what they wanted, terminating the project?”
“No, they haven’t been bothering me.”
“Then why are you acting so frigid!” Guan Yu ruffled her hair, “What are you thinking about, huh?”
Thinking about what?
Almost immediately, Chu Ning thought of Ying Jing.
That night she cried without restraint, and in the end, he left dumbfounded.
The two were like reversed roles, witnessing each other’s vulnerabilities. Probably both understood well enough.
After this time, there would be no future.
Guan Yu was sociable with numerous friends. Not long after, she fluttered around like a butterfly.
Chu Ning moved to the other side of the sofa, her demeanor turning cold again.
The boy in white approached hesitantly, sitting beside her, barely a fist’s distance away.
Chu Ning glanced at him indifferently, offering no response.
“Let me keep you company and drink, okay?” The boy’s voice was pleasant, causing Chu Ning to glance at him a couple more times.
Encouraged, he filled that fist’s distance. Male escorts entering such venues were professionally trained in how to please female guests and captivate their hearts in subtle ways. His face was striking, his movements sought to be skillful and natural, but the awkwardness and nervousness in his expression, as well as the slight repulsion, were clear as day to Chu Ning.
“Sister, you’re so beautiful.” The boy boldly leaned closer, whispering in her ear, “What fruit do you want to eat? Let me get it for you.”
Chu Ning subtly turned her head.
The boy was a bit flustered, thinking he had done something wrong.
“Why do this?” Chu Ning suddenly asked.
“Hmm?” The boy was taken aback, then put on that trained expression, his ambiguous words spilling out: “Because I like doing it.”
Chu Ning: “Need money?”
“Hmm? …Yeah.” The other party’s eyes shifted, giving a vague reply.
“What year are you in?”
“Second year.”
“What’s your major?”
“Art.”
Chu Ning coolly said, “Then why not earn money with this skill?” Tutoring, using summer breaks for drawing board part-time jobs, these could all work.
The boy pursed his lips and said: “That takes too long and earns too little.”
After a few seconds of silence,
Chu Ning said: “If that’s the case, why bother going to school? Just do this job, perform every night.”
The words were harsh, sharp, and merciless.
The other party didn’t seem to care, even responding proudly: “Nowadays, they want college students.”
Chu Ning suddenly laughed, “So going to college has this kind of use.”
Without comparison, there’s no harm.
She instantly thought of Ying Jing. Similar age, outstanding appearance, both college students. He was full of vitality, like the first ray of dawn on a summer morning. He had ideals, passion, goals, and a life.
Perhaps naive, perhaps exaggerated, but at least dignified, neat, and embodying the proper demeanor of a real adult.
Chu Ning’s chest tightened, then turned into a lingering pain.
Such a wonderful person.
Such a wonderful person!
The private room roared with singing karaoke. Xiao Liu’s gang of friends loved to play, getting drunk and forgetting their names after a few drinks, passing the microphone around. On the crystal coffee table, a tattooed couple around eighteen or nineteen were dancing closely together.
Their song choices were popular, selected with a playful attitude, mostly old songs from the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Because of their widespread popularity, it was convenient for them to howl along.
The screen changed songs, the intro particularly distinctive with thunderous drumbeats.
“Wow!! Kissing!” Someone shouted, and everyone gathered around the coffee table to watch the intimate scene between the couple.
No one sang anymore, playing the original audio. Chu Ning stared at the screen, her gaze following the lyrics.
The sun rises, its path bright The river flows forth, vast and mighty Youth has its own madness Standing tall like mountains and rivers Today, we are the youth The world laughs at us, but we grow stronger
The final line was sung passionately—
Strive to be pillars of strength Do not waste our youth!
Do not waste our youth.
Chu Ning fell silent, emotions complex and hard to describe.
Amidst the noisy chaos, she instinctively stood up, picked up her bag, and headed towards the door.
Xiao Liu spotted her and called out: “Sis Ning, where are you going?”
Chu Ning opened the door, her steps decisive.
———
Tonight, it rained in Xingcheng.
Unlike the continuous cold drizzle of winter, this rain poured down like a summer thunderstorm.
Rain fell, then stopped, and the weather cleared up.
With the Lunar New Year approaching, every household was busy preparing for the holiday. These past few years, people had been saying the festive atmosphere had become lighter. But Ying Jing didn’t think so. Since his winter vacation started, Cui Jingshu dragged him out daily to buy groceries. Preparing for the New Year was even more so, buying pig knuckles, brine, dumpling wrappers, meat fillings, and picking some juicy pomelos at the fruit market.
Ying Jing was just a sack carrier, his biceps probably becoming harder with practice.
After the rain in the evening, the sunset showed its face, painting the sky red. Around were remnants of clouds yet to dissipate, the combination of colors refreshing to the soul. Next door, Counselor Fu’s daughter Yaoyao insisted on dragging him out to buy bubble tea.
Ying Jing was exasperated by her nagging, “Alright, alright, let’s go.”
Yaoyao was two grades below him, a spoiled little brat whose mouth loved to chatter.
“Little Jing Brother, why didn’t you come over to my house for dinner last time you came home?”
Ying Jing lazily kicked stones on the ground with one hand in his pocket, “I eat a lot, afraid I’ll bankrupt your family.”
“Hahaha, you’re so funny.” Yaoyao was so excited, “Little Jing Brother, our rice barrel is this big, you can’t bankrupt us.”
“Stop, stop.” Ying Jing frowned and reminded her: “Can you not call me Little Jing Brother? It sounds like a spoiled rich kid, not formal at all.”
Yaoyao stuck out her tongue, teasing, “I love calling you that. Otherwise, shall I call you Pretty Girl Yaoyao?”
“Oh dear!” Ying Jing’s goosebumps scattered all over, but he also laughed, “Alright, don’t let your dad hear that, or he’ll scold you for being unladylike again.”
Both laughing and teasing, they exited the main gate of the compound.
Ying Jing turned his head to look at the road.
One look, and he froze as if struck by lightning.
By the roadside, a familiar white car was parked, and a more familiar figure stood by the car door.
As dusk approached, daylight faded, and the air carried the fresh scent of soil after the rain.
Chu Ning wore a loose, light-colored sweater, making her appear even smaller.
Her hair was casually tied up, two strands framing her cheeks. Perhaps from waiting too long, or maybe due to the dampness making her uncomfortable. She had already smoked half a cigarette, holding it between her fingers, occasionally bringing it to her lips.
Truly enchanting.
Ying Jing was stunned, gazing at her blankly.
Chu Ning’s eyes were indifferent, deliberately ignoring the young girl beside him. Slightly raising her chin, she crushed the cigarette underfoot as she spoke calmly:
“I’m hungry, treat me to dinner.”
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