SOTBW - 155

Maximón’s words made Najane chuckle softly. She gently fiddled with his disheveled hair, and after a brief pause, she spoke quietly.

“I don’t like sleeping alone in the house.”

At that, Maximón, who had his eyes closed, looked up at her.

“...You’re not angry, are you?”

Instead of answering, Maximón simply stared at Najane. She couldn’t tell whether he was upset or not. She knew he was sensitive when it came to Amelia’s situation, but this was something that had to be dealt with today.

“At the royal palace... if they give up on training women to become soldiers, would Amelia be able to return to being a maid?”

Maximón frowned in disbelief at her question.

“Did you say you didn’t want to sleep alone just to bring this up?”

“...I really don’t like sleeping alone...”

Najane said this with a hint of pout, and Maximón opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it.

Had he known that Najane would mention Amelia this often, he would have sent her to the monastery long ago instead of training her as a soldier. What Maximón wanted was for Najane to sever ties with Amelia.

The thought that there was someone important to Najane other than Maximón Elgort was deeply irritating to him. He had expected that Najane would be concerned about Amelia, but he hadn’t imagined that she would bring her up at all times like this.

Part of him wanted to tell her that he hoped Amelia would die out in the field, but if he did that, his relationship with Najane would be shattered.

Maximón continued to gaze at Najane’s eyes, which still held a trace of sadness, before lowering his gaze with a grim expression.

“The Archbishop is interested in Amelia.”

“Archbishop Gwynes?”

“I don’t know why he’s interested, but if Amelia survives in the field for over ten days, he said he’d let her do as she pleases.”

“...Over ten days?”

Najane felt a deep sense of disappointment.

“It’s a sort of special treatment.”

Maximón was sure that Amelia would be severely injured to the point of struggling to survive, despite this “special treatment.” No matter how close Najane stayed to Amelia, she couldn’t avoid the battle with Serith while out in the field.

For example, in her first battle, Amelia had received only a minor injury and gone to the clinic. Would she be able to survive the next day without getting hurt? If she returned safely tomorrow, what about the day after? The day after that?

Maximón clenched his teeth as he imagined Najane holding Amelia’s lifeless body, crying in sorrow. For the first time, his chest tightened in pain.

It wasn’t because of Amelia’s death—it was the image of Najane crying that caused him pain.

It was a contradiction.

He wanted Maximón Elgort to be the only one in Najane’s heart, but at the same time, he didn’t want her to mourn the absence of anyone else. This was an obsessive, nauseating attachment that couldn’t be explained with any sane words.

Since he was very young, Maximón had always wanted someone to focus on him, love him, and acknowledge him. He was confident that he could love others, so he never made an effort to try; and if he ever did fall in love, he never even thought about what he should do or how he should act.

He knew that if he truly loved Najane, he shouldn’t act selfishly, but if behaving that way seemed beneficial to him, he wouldn’t hesitate.

After he admitted to himself that he loved Najane, he finally understood why he had never been able to love anyone for all those years.

Being loved by Maximón was a great misfortune.

And now, Najane was about to face that misfortune.

Maximón knew that if he truly cared about Najane, he should stop encouraging Amelia’s death. He also understood that if Najane was to be happy, he had to respect the relationships she had built.

And yet, Maximón wished for Amelia to die, and for Daniel to never return to the Noctis stronghold after finishing the bandit hunt.

Within Maximón, there existed a sense of unease and uncertainty that he could not control. It was like an eternal sense of crisis, something that had been forcibly instilled in him from the moment he was born, a feeling that even Edwin’s education and Najane’s love could never alleviate...

“Why didn’t you stop Amelia when she decided to become a soldier?”

Najane’s voice was gentle. It sounded less like a reprimand and more like a genuine question out of curiosity.

Maximón skillfully hid his complicated feelings and replied calmly.

“There was no reason to stop her.”

“You knew she had a connection to me. She was once my personal maid...”

“To me, everyone other than you is the same. If she decides to become a soldier, there’s no reason for me to refuse.”

Maximón boldly lied, and Najane didn’t suspect him. Instead, she found herself unsure whether to admire Maximón for treating everyone, including Amelia, without bias, or to feel disheartened by it.

If it had been another knight commander, when a former maid came forward wanting to become a soldier, they might have admired her courage but would have refused, saying that even if she lacked skill in swordsmanship, she could still serve as a young soldier.

Najane, who had tried to make sense of the situation in her mind, let out a deep sigh.

“Maximón.”

Najane tried to change the subject by calling Maximón’s name. But Maximón did not respond. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her lower abdomen. He seemed ready to sulk if she continued talking about Amelia.

Najane, startled, looked down at Maximón, who was clinging to her like a child.

“Maximón...?”

She called him in a slightly gentler tone than usual, but Maximón stubbornly did not respond. Najane, with a somewhat confused look, glanced at him, and then, with a hint of playfulness in her voice, said:

“Mashe?”

When she called him in Taylor’s style, Maximón shuddered and immediately looked up at her. He truly hated it and covered her mouth with his palm.

“Don’t call me that. It gives me the creeps.”

Najane, relieved that Maximón was finally looking at her again, kissed the rough palm over her mouth.

“You’re not sulking because I talked about Amelia, are you?”

“Not really.”

Maximón replied nonchalantly, but his expression said otherwise.

Instead of saying anything, Najane kissed his forehead. After placing the kiss with meaning, she lifted her head, and their eyes met—his dark green ones.

Unable to hide his feelings any longer, Maximón wrapped both hands around Najane’s neck and pulled her downward. The kiss, as always, wasn’t deep or intense, but it was enough to prove that Maximón consistently loved Najane.

After the affectionate kiss, Maximón slowly released his hold on her neck.

“Najane, I get uneasy when there are too many people around you.”

“Who do you think is around me... Ah... Is it because of that kidnapping incident?”

Najane tilted her head, guessing.

Maximón smiled faintly, finding Najane’s assumption cute.

“I’m worried I’ll fall behind in your heart’s priority list.”

“How could you fall behind when I love you? No matter what happens, loving you means putting you first.”

Najane thought Maximón was worrying about something unnecessary.

“...Are you worried I might cheat on you?”

During her time in the knight order, she had never given any other man the slightest opening. Najane looked at Maximón with an expression of innocence.

Maximón, still lying with his head resting on Najane’s thigh, had a much darker expression than before. He stared at her silently for a moment before reaching out to gently stroke her warm cheek.

“If I become frightening and repulsive, and you want to meet someone else, that’s okay. As long as you eventually return to me, even if you’re with that person, as long as you think of me, miss me, and love me...”

“Are you saying that you would understand and forgive me if I met another man...?”

Najane was shocked by the unexpected words, her confusion evident.

Maximón gently cupped her face, as if carefully piecing together broken glass.

“That’s wrong. There’s nothing for me to understand or forgive. It’s only you for me. If you leave, I’ll just wait. Of course, I’d love to keep you locked up so you couldn’t go anywhere, but I won’t do that. I can’t do anything to you, Najane... Do you understand what I’m saying? I love you, and that means I can’t do anything.”

Maximón continued, avoiding Najane’s gaze.

“And if you truly leave me, it wouldn’t be because your love changed, but because I messed up. I disappointed you, made mistakes, raised my voice, was stingy with expressing my love, acted selfishly, like I did before…”

“Maximón...”

“...If you left and came back to me, I would be as happy as someone celebrating their first birthday. But while waiting for you, I would be dead inside.”

Maximón muttered to himself in a low voice as he imagined Najane truly leaving him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled her close, embracing her.

Najane’s love for him would never change. At least, as long as Maximón Elgort didn’t let the fact that he was a mad, twisted bastard be discovered. As long as he could continue hiding the fact that he was a monster, ready to destroy everything around Najane.

Najane looked down at Maximón, who had buried his face in her abdomen, unsure of what to do. Maximón, while believing in her love for him, was endlessly anxious about the possibility of that love being tainted because of him.

He acted like a scared child in the face of love, holding onto it but certain that it would slip away like sand through his fingers. Najane couldn’t fully understand his feelings, but instead of asking why he was so anxious, she just gently stroked his hair.

At least it was clear that Maximón loved Najane. That was the most important thing to her, regardless of who he was, so Najane didn’t ask anything further. She softly whispered in his ear.

“I’m yours. Always.”

“I know. I know, but...”

“Ask me how long I’ll love you.”

Maximón didn’t answer, instead sitting up beside her. He looked at Najane with eyes full of meaning, watching the person most precious to him.

“I’ll love you forever.”

He answered the question himself, without asking her, as though he couldn’t bring himself to ask it.

Maximón, like a sleepy puppy, leaned his face against Najane’s neck and shoulder.

“Najane.”

If anything were to happen between us, it would all be my fault.

You have done nothing wrong.

But he couldn’t bring himself to say it, so he lifted his head and touched his forehead to hers.

“Kiss me.”

Maximón boldly asked, like someone urging to meet their daily quota.

Najane gave a small laugh and kissed him. It wasn’t a kiss, but a light peck. Maximón, seemingly satisfied, slightly raised the corners of his mouth.

Najane was usually a shy person.

Whenever they finished their work and went to sleep together, if she playfully begged for a kiss, she would hesitate, as if trying to keep their relationship a secret. Then, after closing her eyes tightly, she would give him a peck on the cheek.

While she wasn’t embarrassed about making love and sharing her body, it was incredibly cute and endearing that she blushed at such light, innocent kisses, even though children did the same.

The next day, even though she knew she had to get up for work, seeing Najane’s cheeks flushed red from just a peck made Maximón want to hold her again and again, until a soft, yearning moan escaped her small, plump lips.

After they made love until exhaustion took over, Maximón enjoyed seeing her silver hair, tousled and messy. When he woke up and saw her silver hair gleaming in the sunlight, it made his heart flutter, and without realizing it, he would wind her long hair around his fingers and kiss her.

He loved her in a way that words could never fully express. Even if he gave her everything he had, it always felt like it wasn’t enough. He wanted to give her the most beautiful things in the world, the shining things, the things that brought happiness.

Maximón sat in front of Najane, lost in his own thoughts, but unlike before, he didn’t feel overwhelmed or nauseous. Instead, he naturally accepted the thoughts and feelings that had come to him.

It was as if he had just remembered an appointment with someone, somewhere, and there was no resistance or hesitation.

As he gazed at Najane, his eyes slowly softened with affection. Every now and then, his gaze towards Najane would shift, becoming completely different—gentler, like someone else entirely.

But the one person who didn’t notice this was Najane herself. She didn’t realize how often he was recalling events and feelings she had never experienced before. She didn’t consider what might happen if those unfamiliar memories continued to accumulate.

Maximón simply enjoyed being with Najane. The time they spent together, just the two of them, was what truly made him happy.

As he gazed at Najane with affection, he felt as if a long-held wish had finally been fulfilled.

It felt as though he had been waiting for this moment for thousands of years...