NILWM - 33

The next evening, Ye-seo walked slowly home from the subway station, lost in thought. For some reason, it didn’t feel real. She was in a complex state of mind.

Everything felt like a dream: the sudden start of her relationship with Han Joo-hyuk yesterday, the kiss, the night where her heart was so full of a fluttering feeling that she couldn’t fall asleep until 2 a.m., and even the conversation she had with Choi In-ha an hour ago. So many things had happened in just one day.

• “Ye-seo. To be honest... I like you. More than a younger sister.”

Surprisingly, Han Joo-hyuk’s prediction hadn’t been wrong. For her, who had believed he had jumped to the wrong conclusion, it was quite a shock.

• “Oppa In-ha. But you’ve never shown me that kind of feeling before.”

• “I know. It’s so sudden. To be honest, I’ve been waiting for the right moment since I came back to school, but now that it’s my last semester, I thought I couldn’t wait any longer. I thought I should just confess, even if I get rejected.”

• “Oppa. Actually, I’m... dating someone. I’m really sorry.”

After a moment of hesitation, she didn’t reveal who it was. If Song Yoo-young found out, the news would get to him, but she wanted to live quietly for the rest of the break. Choi In-ha was visibly disappointed and saddened, but in the end, he tried to handle it well.

• “We just started dating recently.”

• “Ha, I should have just done it earlier. It’s my fault for being late.”

• “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you who it is if I get a chance later. Right now, it’s a bit...”

• “Why are you sorry about my feelings? Then please tell me who it is later. Anyway, congratulations...!”

• “Thank you, Oppa. I hope you, too...”

I hope you find a good person, too, Oppa. But she didn’t say those words. She believed that he would soon forget her as he entered the wider world next year, by going to graduate school and doing an internship at the same time. She also believed that he would meet someone better than her.

• “Oh, but you’re still going to work the part-time job at my dad’s company, right? I told my dad yesterday, and he was so happy that he said he’d pay you 1.5 times the minimum wage.”

• “Thank you, Oppa. But I don’t think I can...”

• “I’m telling you this in case you feel awkward, but I won’t be going there at all, so you can rest assured.”

• “I really appreciate it. But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

• “Since our moms are close, we’ll have to see each other sometimes anyway. I’ll take care of my feelings and move on, so don’t worry about it and just do it. My dad already took down all the ads, thinking you’re coming, so what can we do?”

• “H-he already did?”

• “Yeah. I don’t think I’ll be in Seoul at all during the break, so we really won’t run into each other. So don’t worry.”

• “Where are you going?”

• “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go to my aunt’s house, who’s a resident in Vietnam, or just go on a backpacking trip...”

It seemed like he had just decided to do that. Maybe he felt like doing that the moment his confession failed. As she was passing a small playground in front of her apartment, she heard a text message notification. It was from Han Joo-hyuk.

[Are you still talking?]

It was his second text in an hour. Ye-seo sat on a bench at the playground with a complex expression on her face and immediately called him. The call connected after two rings.

• “Is your conversation over?”

His calm, low voice came through the receiver immediately. There was no hint of impatience.

“Yes, Senior. It ended well. I’m in front of my house now.”

• “I was right, wasn’t I?”

He sounded like he was in the middle of working, and she could hear loud foreign voices and mechanical noises in the background.

“Yes... So, I told him I was seeing someone. But I didn’t say it was you.”

• “You should have told him that, too. You should have driven the point home.”

“I hesitated about whether to tell him, but Oppa In... Senior In-ha was so accepting that I just left it at that.”

• “Okay, you did well.”

The mechanical noise got a little louder. Han Joo-hyuk clicked his tongue softly.

• “This isn’t going to work. I have to go now. Then, go home and rest. Today is the 10th, so... wait a minute. It doesn’t look like I’ll have time this week. Is the evening of the 17th okay?”

“Oh... yes, I guess I have no choice.”

She felt disappointed that she had to wait a whole week. She had thought she would be able to see him more often now that the semester was over and it was the end of the year. But since it was because of his work, she had no choice but to be understanding.

“Instead, the next time we meet, please tell me at least what kind of work you do.”

• “I will. I’ll text you whenever I get a chance, so get some good rest.”

“Okay. You have a good night, too, Senior.”

He had said he would look for a tutoring job for her starting next week, so she thought she could talk to him about it when they met in a week. If by any chance he actually introduced her to a tutoring job, she was thinking of doing it alongside the office work at Oppa In-ha’s company. She wanted to save up as much as possible during the break so she could have some room to breathe when the new semester started.

The call ended on a warm note. She was a little nervous about meeting him at the public parking lot near her house in a week, but at least the public parking lot was far from the pharmacy and her apartment.

She didn’t want anyone to find out. At least not yet. It wasn’t that she wanted to hide their relationship, but she wanted to keep it as her own precious secret.

“Ye-seo!”

Just as she was leaving the playground and about to enter her apartment building, a familiar voice called out from behind her.

“Where have you been until now?”

Her mother, Pharmacist Lee, was walking toward her from a distance. It seemed that it was almost time to close the pharmacy, so she had left the cleanup to Soo-min and was heading home. Ye-seo was startled and tensed up at first, but she soon regained her composure.

“I was just on my way home after meeting a friend.”

“Who? In-ha?”

“Uh... yes.”

She entered the house side by side with her mother.

“I was just on the phone with In-ha’s mom, and she told me about it. In-ha recommended you for the part-time job at his father’s company for the winter break, didn’t he? You’re going to do it, right?”

“Actually, I wasn’t going to, but Oppa already told them...”

“Why? Why weren’t you going to take such a good opportunity? Don’t do that, sit down for a minute. I have something to tell you anyway.”

Her mother pulled out a dining chair and sat down first. Ye-seo, with a somewhat confused look, sat across from her. She felt a sudden sense of tension about what she was going to talk about. She was trying to calm her anxious heart, hoping it wasn’t about Jung-woo or money, when Pharmacist Lee suddenly spoke.

“Are you dating In-ha, by any chance?”

“What?”

“Why are you so serious? What’s wrong with dating? You two talk often and have been close for a long time. Even our picky Jung-woo gets along well with In-ha.”

“No, Mom. He’s a good older brother, but we’re not like that.”

Ye-seo let her words trail off vaguely. She couldn’t easily bring herself to talk about any of it: the fact that she had started dating Han Joo-hyuk yesterday, her meeting with Choi In-ha today, or anything else. If she had the kind of relationship with her mom where they could talk about anything, she might have poured her heart out, but that wasn’t the reality.

“But even if you’re not like that right now, there’s a possibility that you will be in the future, right?”

“Mom... do you want me to date Oppa In-ha?”

She was a little taken aback. When had her mother ever shown such interest in her private life, not Jung-woo’s? This seemed to be the first time since she had become an adult.

“I’m all for it with In-ha. You won’t find another guy like him anywhere. His family is decent, he has a good and friendly personality, and he’s doing an internship at a major corporation next summer, right? Even if he doesn’t work for a major corporation, he can just go into his father’s company and inherit it with his younger brother. The kids in that family have such a good sibling relationship that there won’t be any conflicts like that.”

“...”

“If it’s possible, I’m even for you and In-ha getting married. It might seem too early, but you’ll be a junior next year, and you’ll be a senior soon, and time flies by, you know? If you’re going to get married anyway, it’s better to do it sooner rather than later.”

“Mom, actually...”

“I want you to get married soon. Then I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. With In-ha’s family, we know each other so well that we don’t have to worry about appearances or anything.”

“Is it because of Jung-woo?”

A sudden feeling of sorrow welled up inside her. She was already working so hard to not be a burden, paying for her tuition with a scholarship and her living expenses with part-time jobs. But was she still a burden to her mother?

“Mom, honestly, you’re only focused on Jung-woo even now. What more do I have to do...”

“That’s not what I meant!”

As Ye-seo’s emotions became so heightened that she looked like she was about to burst into tears, Pharmacist Lee cut in.

“You always say I only take Jung-woo’s side, but think about it. I don’t have many children, just two. One of them is a sensible and capable person who takes care of herself. The other is not as bright and is so helpless that he can’t do anything without me, and he requires so much attention. So, naturally, I have to worry more about the child who is lacking, and I feel so sorry for him that I want to take care of him more... I can’t help it. That’s a parent’s heart.”

“...”

“But it’s not because I care less about you. How could I do that when both of you are my children?”

“...”

“What can I do? You’re so much smarter than Jung-woo and you take care of everything so well that I can finally breathe. If you were like Jung-woo, oh god... the thought alone is terrible. I would have withered away a long time ago. Anyway, don’t misunderstand.”

Pharmacist Lee sighed deeply and continued.

“I mean that regardless of Jung-woo, I just don’t want you to suffer like I did, so don’t misunderstand. I just want you to meet a husband and a family who are full of love and can give you a comfortable life without any lack.”

“...”

“You know well that the elders in that family are educated and warm-hearted. It hurts my pride a little to say this, but In-ha’s mom’s pharmacy is much bigger than ours, and his father’s company is also well-established and run well. They always hire people to do the housework, so it’s not the kind of family culture where they would exploit a new daughter-in-law. They’ve always been fond of you, haven’t they?”

Ye-seo didn’t know what to say and remained silent. She was flustered that her mother was suddenly talking as if she cared about her so much. But honestly, she was more happy than anything else. She had always thought her mom only cared about Jung-woo, but it turned out she had been thinking about her, too.

“Well. I guess even if I want it, it’s up to the people involved.”

Pharmacist Lee rubbed her tired eyes, which were stained with age spots, and concluded.

“Anyway, continue to get along well with In-ha. When Jung-woo comes in February, the three of you can eat together and go out. Okay?”

“Yes, I will.”

It would be difficult, but for now, she gave her mother the answer she wanted to hear. Even after she had washed up and gone into her room a little while later, she still felt a bit stunned.

Have I misunderstood my mom all this time? At least she was right that her mom had a soft spot for Jung-woo, but it might not have been that she saw her as a burden and was displeased with her.

Ye-seo sat at her desk and was lost in thought for a long time. Her gaze was fixed on the photo of her deceased father on the bookshelf.

Her heart was light as she wrote for a while and then went to bed. It was because of the hope and relief that maybe she would be able to get along with her mother a little better from now on.